Image: http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn105/walkseva/ManlyTearsHaveBeenShed.jpg

Those last lines, they really got to me KoS ;-;

I only spotted one error, other than that this is a great rendition of the whole red and black OC Alicorn genre. +1

That ending really hit home.

Some of your lines seem super Cliche.  

"Daring Do and the Mystery of the Black Phoenix Egg"

Also calling you OC Mary Sue? I Really wanted to down vote you.

But you got me at the end there. Nice work, you really did make me sad.

Why do I feel bad for the cliche alicorn!? Why!?

Mary grabbed her and evolved her in her massive black wings

should be

Mary grabbed her and enveloped her in her massive black wings

other than that, I must say this hit me in the feels. I feel that this is a very accurate portrayal of the way that fans automatically lavish hate upon red and black alicorn OCs. very well done.

I doubt any of the Mane 6 would be that rude, especially pinkie or Fluttershy. I see the point of this fic, though.

>>14271641427164

Hey, what did this carp do to you?

Image: http://www.bitemebaitco.com/Elmer/photogallery/Larry%20Fish/1carp2009.JPG

After I read this... The tears, man... The tears...

>super cheesy red and black OP alicorn OC

>trying not to laugh through duration of fic

>guard is down

>get sucker punched right in the feels at the end

Fucking awesome!

I love satirical Mary Sue fics.

Then you have to go for the sucker punch at the end.

I don't know if I should hug you or punch you.

Are we gonna see a sequal to this?

I hate parodies. I truly do after seeing twelve million. But you know what, since you did this so well, I'll make an exception. A realistic portrayal (I can't count on my digits the times I have seen these traits played out in a serious way) and you managed to make me have some sympathy for this mess of a character.

Nopony wuvs mary sue.

>>14284321428432 Save the carps!

Good show! Bravo! Excellent! It sucked... no not really. It was a really good story, and I am glad I read it. Very sad and depressing, and not the hilarious parody it was going to be. You took me by surprise there buddy, good job.

Now, I'm off to go do something else, like make a sandwich or something.

Wow. And now I want to hug that Mary Sue and kiss her better. It's not her fault author wrote her like this, and her personality IS kinda funny the way you wrote her so...

Happy Birthday, Mary Sue!

I just thumb-up'd a Mary Sue.  I feel so dirty that even that giant bag of bits that got dropped off at my door by way of a strange black-and-red Alicorn doesn't help.  

Oh wait, she dropped off another bag.  That's better.

>>14285831428583 I wrote her the way everyone see her, OP. No pony like it.

>>14285781428578 Thank you, the instant hate on all Alicorn is what drove me to write this. I hope people will like more Mary Sues.

>>14285311428531 Carps?

>>14285151428515 I hope after this fic, even if it is a tiny bit you will love her.

>>14284981428498 I see time to correct

>>14284931428493 If it becomes popular i might right a sequel, but only if i get like 1000 views, but really I'm not going to get that.

>>14284781428478 Neither, hug Mary Sue she needs a friend

>>14284711428471 That is the point, love the name BTW.

>>14284501428450 Shed tears for her, she is lonely.

>>14284241428424 Be happy, you like her just a little bit now :)

>>14283911428391 Thank you, I was hoping this would hit home.

>>14283811428381 Corrected, thank you for spotting that.

>>14271391427139 Thank you ^_^

>>14263341426334

Screw manly tears!  This can have all my tears!

Image: http://gifs.gifbin.com/062010/1277899575_crocodile-tears.gif

But srsly, that was pretty sad at the end.

>>14286771428677

Well, Mary Sue fic can be pretty awesome. Like this one, where she attempts to do something for real and everyone shuns her away. Something about power so big nopony can normally interact with said pony. Remember 'Your Sun is Tired', where Celestia almost gone crazy when nopony acted like she's actual pony and always adressed to her as Princess, feared her and censored themselves? Or... can't remember title, fic about Discord with similar problem - what to do when you can do anything just snappping your fingers.

And that child-like personality suits Mary well

...... Why must you do that to me!?!

>>14287021428702>>14286921428692>>14286771428677>>14286431428643>>14285831428583>>14285781428578>>14285311428531>>14285151428515>>14284981428498>>14284931428493>>14284781428478>>14284501428450>>14284241428424>>14283791428379>>14271391427139>>14270871427087>>14263341426334

How the hell do you like a shit fic like this? Seriously, Its nothing but a bunch of horse shit on a page.  Are you all fking stupid? Fore real, it a OC Alicorn fuck fest, King Of FUCKING FAGGOTS is just trying to fuck the feature box with the tard shit of a fic, anyone who actually up votes this crap is just as fking moronic as him/her.

There is not story here, this is just another troll fic.

Image: http://i.neoseeker.com/mgv/574321-Liege/321/17/1306982556320_display.jpg

I wish a concritter would get on this shit fic and rip everyone here a new one for even liking this.

>>14287531428753

You're so cute.

>>14287531428753

How meta of you.

Also, you might wanna watch out with your insults, what with that report button.

I haven't read the story, nor do I have any intention of doing so (no offense to King; I'm just not much of a reader), but I from what he's said in the IRC, I know that this isn't a trollfic at all.

>>14287531428753

The reason I liked it is because it's a trollfic.

It's nicely done as a trollfic, ergo is worthy of a like.

>>14287531428753

How mature.

I like it because if you ask me, it gives a different look on the Alicorn OC cliche.

When I stumbled on to this, I read the description, paused for a moment, then looked up.  The exact bullshit character you were mocking was a mere two stories above it.

For that coincidence alone, I'll add this to my 'Read Later' list.  Hopefully, it won't disappoint.

>>14286771428677 a misspelling error, turned into  a joke.

>>14287531428753

Your a nice person. :3

See? Even the dreaded black-and-red Mary Sue alicorn OC can find her place.

Now I wish I'd written my other story earlier...

But...

She's a...

They couldn't...

Oh whatever.

Why would you do that to my feels!

>>14287531428753

Oh hey, look, this got featured. How about that?

Even do in the show fluttershy( would come because she's kind) and stuff, RD(she's loyal) would come and pinkie(she wouldn't even care) would come, this is greatly written and manly tears have bin shed.

and just for the record inb4 featured ^^

You've got guts, my friend. Big squshy bloody guts. And i respect you for that.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire.png

Edit: Ow....Just...Ow, My heart...

Am I the only one who didn't hold sympathy towards MS? I get it's sad but enough for tears? I don't know, I will admit this was well written. On another note, MS's do have a place in fanfiction, just not in any sort of action-adventure-romance deals, too predictable unless the writing is really good. There place would be well suited to stuff like the above... or hell how about a slice of life MS, I haven't heard of that being done (if there are any good ones please recommend). If I were to write a fic with a MS I'd have them more exploratory (emotions and thoughts) rather than actionatory (actions and ____). Nice job getting featured.

That was just mean spirited.

Dammit! I was reading and I was like "Oh this isn't too sad."

And then BAM!

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw7625_small.png

Poor Mary... someone please tell me I'm not the only one who'd like to see a full-blown story about her.

Liked and faved. Because if anypony needs it, she does.

>>14287531428753 Awww, adorable. Some 12 year old boy trying to flame! How cute.

In all seriousness, could you write something better than this? Or, would you write something that looks like your comment? Full of meaningless cusses, without substance or meaning? This is something to admire. You sir, you need to grow up.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png

I didn't cry.

Ready for the hate

That awkward moment when you don't look at the tags and think this is a comedy fic, and get caught completely off guard by the end.

Anyway, good story, and deffinately gives a new aspect to the Black Alicorn OC everyone seems so fond of.

Laughing all the way to the end, and then, BAM! you deliver a cruise missile to The Feels. Darn it all, I want to hate Mary Sue, but now I can't. Why'd you have to go and make me feel sorry for Mary Sue?

>>14296031429603

that's okay, we know it's hard to admit that you cried about my little pony.

>>14296901429690

I didn't. Stuck up alicorn gets what she deserved. ;D

Oh man... that was so sad.

>>14296971429697

I'm half tempted to say I agree on the basis of the amount of retardedly OP red black alicorn OC's, but in this case I'm going to have to disagree

>>14296091429609 Thank you, as long as one person changes their view on her this fic is a win.

>>14296031429603 It's OK if you didn't cry, Manly tears need not be shed.

>>14295801429580 Just ignore the flamers, love and tolerate, its the way we live by.

>>14295791429579 She really does need a little love.

>>14295701429570 I might continue this, people have been e-mailing me.

>>14295651429565 All a pony needs is a friend.

>>14295621429562 Sadly that is her life.

>>14295601429560 Mary Sues are in all fiction, This Mary sue i wrote about is not my own, its every ones, she has become so hated that when you think mary sue you think of red maned and black wings, she is now in her right her own character.  Similar to Derpy, just a mare who wants a little love.

>>14295251429525 Makes a guy think, why hate?

>>14295101429510 I got featured

>>14294881429488 The feels, they are many.

>>14289751428975 I hope the message gets across

There were many, many spelling errors.

And no, Mary Sues do not deserve any love. The plot is so cliche that it isn't enjoyable to read, and the characters aren't nearly believable enough. This Mary Sue story tries to be different, but in the end, it's just like the rest.

What, you've never seen a sad Mary Sue story before? Nothing new is brought, no new ideas. Why should I cry for a perfect character, one who has barely developed? Why should I feel for a character I don't know at all? Is there something I'm missing, that would have made me cry if I saw it? She's perfect, and that's the problem. Unless you're a god at creativity (which you clearly weren't), a Mary Sue story will always be shitty. All any of them did was have conversations, with basic cores.

Mary Sue asks for somepony to go to birthday.

They make invalid excuses.

Repeat six times.

When birthday comes, they don't show up.

If this is a parody, I don't see how it's funny.

I just don't get it.

>>14297091429709

This story

-Sad? Yeah.

-Tear worthy? Definitely not.

>>14297101429710

hey, on a completely unrelated topic in every single way, how long does story moderation usually take? because I've got a story and it's still in moderation

Honestly, I can't see how this got featured in the top 7 section. Statistically speaking, it shouldn't be there. The like/dislike ratio is bad, it has less than 500 views, and not even 50 comments (at this point.)

But statistics aside, this was a great read. From the beginning, I knew it would be different since everypony was upset to see her, but I really didn't expect them to be so cruel to her. Really made me feel sorry for her. Actually, this is probably the only story I've read where being a blatant Mary Sue (even literally) actually added to the strength of the story. You have my like.

>>14297101429710 Yeah, it does man. I mean i never once hated for any reason. even a troll fic. But even still it made me think about how that really made them feel. It really eats at you. I do have to say I'm glad someone made this. it really needed to be said.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png

Aww, I wanna hug her.

>>14297101429710

Well no sorry, I meant that your story is so good, it will get featured eventually ( sorry for the misunderstanding )

I can't believe it. A red and black Mary Sue alicorn OC who I actually feel bad for. HOW DID YOU DO THIS!?!?!?!? HOW!? AAAAHHHAAHAAHHH*reduced to incoherent screaming and sobbing*

This was an interesting fic to read.

While I can totally see why everyone would not like to be around Mary Sue, it is still sad.

About Mary Sue's in general, I have mixed feelings. It is very hard to do a story with one as the main character well. All the things they have going for them tend to make any conflict they might have seem contrived unless it comes as an extension of all the things they have going for them (the opposite of a silver lining (like the example already pointed out for Celestia being so powerful and capable that she has lost all connection to ponies)) or from a very believable fatal flaw. A lot of characters are labelled as Mary Sue's when they aren't or are only partials. Then there are ones who are labelled correctly. And some who hardly anyone labels this way but are most definitely Mary Sue's (these tend to be ones that are rather well done but not always).

That. was. awesome.

The best Mary Sue fic I've ever read. Keep it up good sir

>>14287531428753

(spelling corrections in all caps ans with ["] ;D)

How the hell do you like a shit fic like this? Seriously, Its nothing but a bunch of horse shit on a page.  Are you all fking stupid? [FOR] real, IT'S [AN] OC Alicorn fuck fest, King Of [THE] FUCKING FAGGOTS is just trying to fuck the feature box with [THIS] tard shit of a fic, anyone who actually up votes this crap is just as fking moronic as him/her.

There is not [A] story here, this is just another troll fic.

You're very welcome. And next time you decide to try and troll someone's story just because you don't like it, don't.

To the author; This was a well done, finely written story that deals with a serious stigma within brony literature. Nice work, great writing style and a terribly heart crushing ending.

I don't know whether this hit me in the feels or in the funny bone.

I knew it was coming but the ending caught me off guard. I have to admit, while I've cried harder when I've read stories, I actually cried for Mary. I really wasn't expecting it but I did.

Lots of minor errors. Most of them look like your autocorrect went overboard.

Next story I recommend getting a proof reader to give it a once over before posting.

So I down-voted this not because I didn't like the fic, but because it's written so horribly that you obviously put no effort at all into making it presentable.

>>14287531428753

Stop trolling, bro.

She needs a hug.

I would give her that hug.

Poor mare! I wanna hug her soooo bad. Congrats on the feature, btw. I knew this one would get it.

Aww, poor Mary. She does need a few hugs. It's not her fault that her author doesn't treat her properly!

I think the "Mary Sue" trait is something that belongs to stories, not characters. I could write a story wherein Twilight Sparkle functions as a complete Mary Sue, without actually changing her canonical powers or personality, because of the way other characters and the universe react to her. Likewise, Miss Alicorn Sue could feature in a perfectly reasonable story where she doesn't warp the universe by her mere existence, and she wouldn't be a Sue anymore. Well, less of one.

I have to feel bad for Big Macintosh, though. He doesn't want that crazy mare anywhere near him.

>>14287531428753

Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQOsN7Hkv3AJ8JyJhVPFcIeRF2DkzYgNoVJ2c6HrJjmfN9ikvyRdbgCijv8

Is what I'm hearing.

Pinkie is really out of character here.

I mean, not showing up at a party she was invited to? For any reason at all?

Oh, god.

Here I'd never thought I'd see the day where I'd actually sympathize with a Mary Sue. But here it is...!

i normally hate mry sues but....why do i feel sad for her?

>>14298521429852 Everyone needs a friend

>>14298501429850 No i meant it got featured its in slot 5

>>14298441429844 We all wish we could

>>14297681429768 Thank you, your words touch deep.

>>14297431429743 Sometimes, even ponies, can be cruel. Thank you for giving your opinion, i read all comments even bad ones.

>>14297331429733 It varies this one took 14 hours,

>>14297171429717 *Sigh* You seem to miss the point of my fic, I feel bad for you, sorry about the spelling errors, send me a e-mail and i will gladly go in and fix them. You seem to think Mary Sue is my OC, when she is everyone's OC

>>14297251429725 As long as you got the point behind the fic i am happy, thank you for reading :)

>>14287531428753 Screw you.

Why? Because you happen to be a emotionless idiot who probably didn't even read the whole the whole thing! AND LOOK AT THIS. EFFORT.

You suck, case closed.

Anyways on the story.

Yeah, just like someone else said, you had me laughing at the middle and while my guard was down you hit me straight in the feels. No tears fell but I could feel my eyes getting really watery. I feel bad for a Mary Sue, you're awesome.

Only good Mary Sue I ever read.

This story is a prime example of self-defeat; Mary Sue isn't a Mary Sue. By giving her a personality, what you've actually done is take a regular character and dress them up in the trappings of a Mary Sue alicorn OC. This story doesn't even make sense, given that because Mary Sue actually has some semblance of realistic feelings and mannerisms, every other character shouldn't automatically hate her. Maybe the other characters might feel some amount of jealousy due to her abilities (Maybe; I think at this point they'd not care anymore), but nothing in this story explains to me why they hate her. It's just drastically out of character, especially in the case of Pinkie and, to a lesser extent, Fluttershy and Twilight.

Also, there was a startling number of errors, some of them pretty serious. Take the following as an example of "serious":

Rainbow Dash face hoofed as she now was free from her work, now trailing back as her at untold of speed.

>>14297431429743

Yeah I was confused about why it's up there being featured as well with stats like these.  I had roughly the same stats for my story (on the second day) before I refreshed the page.  I feel like this happened because all the mods like it or just enough of them did, and felt like this is one of those stories you need to see.

>>14299831429983 You're welcome!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra2.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png

>>14300061430006 I would agree with that. This is a story that everyone needs to see.

>>14299131429913

Thank you. I was starting to think I was only one that was thinking this.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

This was sad man, and it's so true. I know exactly how Mary feels.

No haters man. Share the love.

So, it's like a joke that's really funny, but only because it is so awful. Except with stories and story components. I really wanted to downthumb it because it was so bad, and not really even humorous. However, because it is a black OC alicorn Mary Sue exposition, that gut feeling, combined with the fact that I've never downthumbed anything, made me actually want to upthumb it. I was on the fence.

And then I read the last sentence.

Upthumb for you, good sir. This story gave me feels.

>>14299871429987 Do not worry about the flamers, they are just as much apart of the cominuty as I am, they have their opinion, I have mine

>>14299711429971 Because no one likes her, even now there are Mary Sues being hated.

>>14299581429958 Pinkie must have broken the fourth wall to many times and got effected by the brony community

>>14299361429936 Haters will hate, trollers will troll, it is the way of the world

>>14299251429925 Big Mac, he should have went then this would have become a spicy clop

>>14299231429923 Chain, you sir are the shit. <3 u man

>>14299161429916 When no one is looking hug your monitor, it counts

>>14299131429913 Sorry you think that, i actually had a editor look at it, but no pony is perfect. Sorry, I hope you enjoyed it though and my message got across.

>>14298981429898 Tears are shed, it shows were human.

>>14298901429890 The feels, this story aims for the feels

>>14299011429901 Ironically i had one, not a good one i suspect but i did have one

>>14298821429882 Just ignore the troll, soon he will go back under his bridge, and thank you for your kind words.

>>14298791429879 Thank you i am working on others, but i got tired of people bashing Mary

You don't seem to understand why people hate Mary Sues.

>>14300671430067 <3 you too bro! Author brohoof 'till the end of time /) Truly amazing work.

omg she cant help being perfect poor mary

>>14297171429717 At least you put a legitimate reason for not liking this story... Last guy who didn't like it put down a comment that read like "STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE!". And incidentally, I put down a pic to that effect =3

Anyways, if I could thumb up comments, yours would have one. Just for having a legitimate reason.

My feels. :C

.....

Silver: ........

Molestia:........

.... those assholes..... HOW FUCKING DARE THEY BURN THEM BURN THEM AT A STAKE

Molestia: i had my sister raise an army!

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aPq5l6ZpoAc/Tlw3tVnuClI/AAAAAAAALOM/CzeKq2Cbmd8/s1600/51101+-+artist+davidlc+background_ponies+blank_flank+clones+luna+new_lunar_republic.jpg

Me: now we strike we will torture the mane six and burn them alive and leave them begging for death!

i basicly feel real sad for that alicorn.... a long time ago my (no longer) best mate was invited to my birthday....  alot of my friends came but he diddnt... turns out he went and rented/ watched a bunch of movies instead. and its not like he would have even needed to pay to come.... anyway that made me sad just having one friend not come.... but to be compleatly dumped? mary sue or not THAT IS FUCKING BULLCRAP *FLIPS TABLE*

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbjaxkrJzi1roglxl.gif

screw space time continuem even if im gonna saffar or some shit *does some sorta fucking boss ass teleport through time to arrive at her party while somhow letting her know telepathicly that i was there to keep her ccompany for her birthday so she diddnt waste me*

*gives her hugs as she cries* Me: ssshh its al better now.....shshhsh

So Good, really got me in the end.

I'd be lying if I said that I felt bad for her. That's just how I feel about this story and I'm sticking to it.

There is just so much to love about this story!

-Mary Sue is obnoxious, naively optimistic and is completely oblivious has to how her Sue-ness is having a negative effect on her "friends."

-All six protagonists HATE her guts. Seriously. I mean, even the element of freakin' generosity stole Mary Sue's money.

-And for some reason they cannot or are afraid to tell the OC Alicorn off.

I'm willing to bet it's the latter. Especially if Princess Celestia has succumbed to Mary's Sue-ness charm:

Dear Twilight,

I have just received a letter from most favorite student, Mary Sue. Perhaps you heard of her? Why it was only last week when she stop the sun from totally EXPLODING! Amazing I know, right?!

Anyhoo, you and your friends said some very mean things which made her cry. Alot.

>:(

So I expect a friendship report by the end of today about how you and your friends learn to discover the Magic of Friendship from Mary Sue.

I understand that she has a Black Belt in Friendship; So it would be best to take lots of notes! And who knows, you just may learn something new!

Also don't be tardy or it's a trip to the moon for you and your friends.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia

P.S. Mary Sue is best pony!

And the ending! Oh man!

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1_yibIP_mFs/TZKoJAbwnZI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/oJblkBG5OWU/s1600/forever-alone.jpg

Best MLP tragic comedy character evar!

Please write a followup to this...I implore you, sir!

I always dodged the Mary Sue meta stories as they didn't particularly interest me, but this seemed like it could be an amusing take on it since it was coming from the psychological end of an actual, literal, Mary Sue.

The things I liked about the story was the not so subtle jabbing at common Mary sue powers and their incessant upstagery crap, that's constantly pulled, all topped off with that gut punch at the end. Well played.

So, I felt it had an good premise bet fell short of it's potential. Here's why:

Many words that were used should have been different ones from the start. Like "I didn't think I had to know" instead of "I didn't think I had to knock"

Many of the descriptions were hard to follow as the way they were set up in the sentence was terribly awkward.

Aside from just power, one of the biggest facets of what classifies a "Mary Sue" is that every character is hung up on them, (i.e they're the center of attention in some way) so this felt off key in that way. I thought I'd be seeing a psychological look into the mind of a Mary Sue that was dealing with this, so I felt like I had false advertising on this front.

So, it was interesting and I don't feel it deserves a thumbs down, but it falls short of a thumbs up as well. Either way, it was an interesting read, so I thank you for sharing it all the same.

>>14300181430018>>14299131429913>>14298661429866>>14297251429725>>14287791428779>>14297171429717

Join me in the great down vote, you my brothers who can actually see this shit fic for what it is, PURE SHIT.  The idea that he trying to cram down are throats is laughable, i thank you my for down voting this fuck fest, I consider you all my allies.

>>14301701430170>>14301341430134>>14301231430123>>14301161430116>>14300991430099>>14300771430077>>14300461430046>>14300181430018>>14300201430020>>14300141430014>>14299631429963>>14299981429998>>14300671430067>>14299631429963>>14286431428643>>14287871428787>>14284321428432>>14284711428471>>14294881429488>>14287271428727>>14300201430020>>14300141430014>>14300061430006>>14299011429901>>14298901429890>>14298821429882>>14298791429879>>14298521429852

WoW ... Just wow, you who are in this group i swear need to be taken out to the nearest field and shot, beaten, disembowled, just so you cant up vote shit fics like this, i cant believe how much this site has gone down in qualities, that the turds of the writing comunity can make the feature box, slot fucking 4 none the less. Really i am just sad, no i didn't read this fuck fest of a fic, i got three paragraphs in before is just couldn't stuomic that horse shit king of fag nutz was feeding me.  I just wan to say that you who all like this fic are just as much shit as he/she is for writing this. IM not trolling, it says right in the description, that MEANS HE IS FUCKING TROLLING.  can you all get it past you pea size brains that this fic isnt even worth wiping your ass with.  No? because you all are complete retards that don't know what real work is. Like Past Sins, that is REAL work, hard pressed and nurtured, this is some dumpster trash that could have been worked up on a school computer. Im done i am getting a fucking head ache just even attempting to teach you retards

>>14302731430273

...  I wasn't supporting this fic, I was just saying that the author failed to address the real problem with Mary Sues.

Check your fire.

>>14302731430273

"...that MEANS HE IS FUCKING TROLLING."

you should really stop talking in the third person

>>14302731430273 Hi

>>14302731430273

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/249/514/615.jpg

Celestial 25-17

The path of the righteous brony is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil haters. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the Everfree Forest, for he is truly his brony's keeper and the finder of lost foals. And, I will strike down upon thee with great love and limitless tolerance, those who attempt to poison and destroy my bronies! And, you will know my name is Celestia when I lay my friendship upon thee!

>>14302731430273 *sees that I have a notification* OH! this must be important. *sees that it's just from you* Oh, nevermind.

I'll be honest, I was iffy on giving this a thumbs-up. It's pretty funny most of the way, and sad at the end, but still... I was iffy.

Then I read Derg's comments... and I had to.

>>14299831429983

I don't recall ever saying she was your OC. The idea of the story is terrible because Mary Sues ARE terrible. You seem to base your story around parodying Mary Sues, but it falls short in nearly every aspect. The characters were undeveloped, the writing was bad, the plot typical, and overall just an unreadable story. I didn't feel for the character because she wasn't anything. She was a perfect, but unloved character who stuck around for 20 minutes. Whether or not she's your OC makes no difference, it's still a bad story.

I don't get how you guys cry at this. There was no buildup, no immersion. Just a lonely character.

The parody theme of this story does not work. The writing seemed like you wanted it to be serious, but it was supposed to be a parody? Just because this is parodic does not excuse the terrible writing, especially if something is on the front page.

Yes, I clicked the downthumb. I did read the story before I did and the concept is awesome, but this is really really poorly written. Unless, of course, it was written in that manner a some sort of ultra-meta circlejerk of everything that is bad about a lot of stories on this site.

Either way... A+ for the concept, D- for the execution.

I would seriously love to see something like this as a series of SoL adventures, but the quality would have to improve massively.

>>14303481430348 I agree wholly with this guy.

>>14302731430273

wait... I'm in both groups. I'm confused.

And in all fairness, I don't think AgonistAgent was entirely impressed with this story either.

Regardless, when you rage like that, rather than just hitting the damn button and moving on, you make yourself look like a newfag bitch.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Derpy_Hooves_lolface.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_1.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Trixie_lolface_2.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png