very nice work Shady might wanna skim through it and correct a few simple spelling/grammar errors, so people don't spam you with error corrections

great work though; very interesting story can't wait to read more

>>14270411427041 thank you heaps

you certainly have my attention Bar keep. Do go on.

>>14437671443767 this makes me happy thank you very much!!

>>14438251443825 I know dat feel quite well. I'm sorta trying to start out writing too. I know my first story is but it's for shiv's and giggles. I suppose transitioning from text based roleplaying is harder than once thought...

Not bad at all so far! You seem to have delving into your characters down pretty well. Just remember to ease off a bit on the ellipsis' and space your paragraphs out a tad bit more! I am looking forward to the next chap.

>>14473021447302 thanks heaps for the pointers. ill definitely incorporate them into the next chapter when you say space out the paragraphs, do you mean the actual white space between paragraphs or do you mean make each paragraph larger in size?

>>14479451447945 I mean that a paragraph itself should never exceed about ten to twelve sentences (with some exceptions), otherwise you get run-on paragraphs, and when you do seperat them, always remember to leave a line of space in between each. For example: However… there is only so long a little filly can stay interested with one thing. After this sentence you start a new paragraph, but did not leave use enter to leave a line of space in between them.

>>14480341448034 ah, excellent. ok thankyou ill go and fix that now

>>14480341448034 just figured out that copy pasting from word does that. an <Enter> in word is a <Shift + Enter> here

Congratulations, you actually persuaded me to read your fic. Maybe it was the cover image, or the fact that i'm a sad, lonely fucker seeking companionship through way of text....

Regardless, if this is decently written, then

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L__MWTY2wa8/UCvhJomzGqI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/rc7rCEqptXk/s1600/133901426244.jpg

The plot thickens.... *insert sexual equine joke*

Very nice indeed, all I need say is it's very interesting

>>19313621931362 OOH a banana Sticker!!! Thanks for the fave!!! Im glad you like it

>>19341781934178 Thank you so much

Very well done, you insert a reality check for the "me" in the story, and the nightmares make a sort of sense , clicking in the end. very well done, I wonder if "I" will have a part in the Silent's story.

Do keep going Barpony, you had my interest before, but now you have curiosity. I commend thy writing ability, for it is vastly better than mine.

>>19613981961398 Thank you very much. As to whether the travelling pony will have a part, you'll have to wait and see. Also you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. As long as you're happy with what you're writing and the story that you are telling, it shouldn't matter how good a writer you are.