Composure

by Varanus

Chapter 4 - Convalescence

Due to the formatting present in this chapter, the chapter 'as intended' is here.

Composure

by Varanus

A MLP:FiM fanfiction.

~{C}~

Chapter 4 - Convalescence

~{C}~

As the moon approached the horizon, the land of Equestria waited in quiet anticipation for the dawn. Feeling the tug of the sun, Celestia woke.

Her first impulse was to rise and begin her morning ritual, but the sleepy haze that followed waking pressed down on her mind heavier than normal. Her muscles were sore and tired, and there was a warm little bundle pressing against her. She reflexively curled into it, relishing the snug warmth of her bed for a few moments more. The sun’s call was distant; the dawn could wait a little longer.

Slowly, her mind began to connect the images flashing through her memory. Her first thoughts were of the grassy plain, of swaying red branches, and she struggled to hold onto them. Rarely had she ever experienced so vivid a dream, and she knew every last image was significant.

She remembered... she had dreamed of Twilight.

She had... Celestia’s heart thudded hard against her ribs as her mind finally snapped to attention. ‘Oh heavens... did I really say...?’

Gradually, she became aware that the warmth she had curled herself around was another body. She remained still, perfectly still, as she carefully opened one eye and looked down into the purple mane of the pony sharing her bed.

“Twilight?” she murmured, confused. The unicorn made no response, still sound asleep.

Celestia made no movement to disturb Twilight’s slumber. None whatsoever. Instead, she cast her mind back, trying to recall what had happened the previous day. Nothing came to mind – her memory was a blank void, only serving to stoke her slowly rising panic.

Whatever had occurred the previous day, whatever reason there was for Twilight to be sleeping in her embrace, Celestia couldn’t remember.

However, she remembered the dream as clear as day. She remembered running free with that radiant unicorn, she remembered the luscious fruit springing from the red tree, the taste of...

Celestia looked back over at the sleeping mare beside her, still entwined between her forelegs. Her heart, sore in her chest, posed a question she couldn’t rebel against, for even denying it would give away the truth.

‘Have I... fallen for her?’

Instantly, she regretted the thought.

‘Stupid.’ It was a stupid thought, she told herself over and over, trying to take it back. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid. It can’t be true!’

She jolted in the bed, her instincts urging her to get away, but she quashed them down, closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing. Habit kicked in, and she quickly entered a state of meditative peace, mind and body relaxing.

‘Alright, be logical about this...’ she told herself. ‘Dreams can mean many things. I didn’t say ‘I love you’, I said ‘my love’. That’s not necessarily romantic, right? I have heard parents use it to address their children, after all.’ Celestia didn’t particularly like the association, but was willing to accept it for the time being.

‘And the fruit. Fruit from a tree we both searched for. Clearly, that was referring to the research Twilight has been doing, that we both have been working on. Clearly.’ Yes, that seemed satisfying.

‘Of course, the fruit could also have been referring to...’ A lump rose in her throat and her gut tightened as she again fought the urge to flee. ‘Don’t panic!’ she reminded herself. ‘Be rational! Investigate!’

She breathed deeply through her nose, inhaling the scents of the room. She noted her own scent mingling with Twilight’s, as well as a fading aroma of lavender and a hint of sweat. However, there no scents implying “exertion” lingering in the air, no trace of alcohol or food to imply anything special had occurred, and certainly no alluring fruit. Celestia released the breath with a feeling of relief – as far as she could tell, she and her protégé had merely shared a bed, nothing else.

She suddenly felt foalish for imagining otherwise, and that was quickly compounded by a wave of shame for reacting so badly.

She knew Twilight thought the world of her, that even after so long she still put so much weight in her mentor’s opinion. If she had been awake to see Celestia’s reaction, she would have been devastated. She would have thought Celestia found the idea of them together revolting, and from that might have then begun to think that everypony would find the idea of being with her revolting. Celestia knew Twilight like a second shadow – she was smart and sharp and perceptive, but if she got an idea inside her head, it’d run round and round and round until it ran circles around her and everypony else unfortunate enough to be in her vicinity, driving everything into the muck.

She had almost hurt her dear unicorn deeply, and for what reason? Because she was afraid she might be in love?

‘Why are you panicking?’ she asked herself, tightening her still unbroken hold on the unicorn. In her sleep, Twilight sighed in response, and Celestia found a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. ‘This is not so terrible.’

Softly, she placed a kiss on the top of Twilight’s head. ‘I’m sorry.’

Dawn was coming soon – she could feel it. Carefully, so as not to wake Twilight, Celestia wriggled out from underneath the duvet. A jolt of pain in her side alarmed her, so she abandoned subtlety and snatched the covers in her mouth, casting them off the bed with one yank.

She looked over at her side and saw the wicked burn. Suddenly, the events of the previous evening all came flooding back to her – waking up in the hospital, panicking, finding Twilight, returning to the castle, her argument and offer to Luna...

Twilight, calling her by name and promising not to leave her...

And, unfortunately, the headache. She groaned, but it was much weaker now that she had gotten some rest.

She glanced out the balcony window to check the skyline and stiffened in shock as she spotted a dark figure waiting just beyond the glass doors. Luna was waiting there watching the horizon. Her mane glowed softly in magical starlight and her body left a stark silhouette against the brightening sky of near dawn, making her already dark coat appear near-black in contrast.

For an instant, Celestia had seen – but she ignored that jolt of irrational trepidation, and softly walked out onto the balcony to join her sister. “Hello, Luna,” she said in a hushed voice, drawing close to the midnight-blue alicorn and nuzzling her cheek.

Luna leaned slightly into the touch, but otherwise didn’t react. “Good morning, sister,” she replied simply.

“Is it?” Celestia asked warmly. “I suppose that’s up to you.”

That got Luna’s attention. “You remembered...”

Celestia nodded. "Dawn is approaching. Are you ready?"

"I believe so. I have been reaching out to the sun for a little while now, trying to familiarize myself with it. Do you... have any advice for me?"

"For now, simply use a light touch and only give the sun a gentle push to maintain its momentum along the arc of the sky,” Celestia provided. “The sun wants to illuminate the world, so for this morning at least simply encourage it. You may have to adjust its orbit around noon, but it’s better to take it slow and learn how it moves before taking hold of it directly."

"Just ‘let’ it spin around the planet?" Luna asked somewhat sceptically.

"For now," Celestia replied reassuringly. "The sun is very different from the moon. The moon needs to be carefully and subtly guided, since it is closer to Equestria and has a direct affect on the land –”

"Through tides, gravitational stability and the psychological effect it has on ponies and other creatures," the night princess finished. She smiled knowingly at her sister, before turning her mind to her moon's solar counterpart. "So then, the sun's greater distance from the planet means it need not be so strictly controlled?"

"That is what I've found, yes," Celestia said. "Light, heat and magic are the most direct effects Equestria feels, but there are so many factors affecting them in their journey here that even if the orbit is a little off, nopony will notice anything beyond a slight change in temperature."

"I see... simply cradle the sun..." Luna muttered half to herself. She straightened slightly, and looked to the horizon where the moon sat obediently, waiting to be put to sleep. "It's time."

Celestia could feel the sun call to her from far away. Her headache swelled slightly, discouraging her from answering its song. "Yes, it is."

Luna strode forward, her horn glowing with magic. Her wings extended, she bent her knees and bowed her head in a courteous gesture. The moon responded in kind, slipping smoothly down the horizon. The midnight-blue alicorn held her prone position for a moment longer, before crouching lower an inch and springing into the air. Celestia watched in approval as Luna beat her wings once, propelling herself higher as her forehooves reached out to the sky. Her horn surged with light and suddenly the night princess' form was framed by the light of the dawn as the sun answered her call.

Celestia watched the new dawn with mixed feelings: wonderment and pride in her sister's ability were foremost in her heart, but there was a vein of apprehension as well. Since the beginning of her duties, the sun was hers alone to guide. Up until this point, Celestia hadn't quite realised the full extent of what she had just relinquished for her sister's sake.

Luna turned in mid-air to look down at her sister, hesitantly gauging her reaction. Celestia smiled, partly proud, partly understanding. 'It seems neither of us fully grasped the significance of this moment until now. If she can guide the sun just as I can guide the moon... then our dualism is rendered somewhat moot, isn't it?’

The night princess’ hooves clattered on the stone balcony as she descended back down beside Celestia. “I... I did it,” Luna said breathlessly, staring into the pale dawn sky. “It listened to me...”

“Well done,” Celestia praised. “How do you feel?”

“I... a bit drained,” she admitted, tearing her eyes from the rising sun to look at her sister. “The sun really is quite different, even if the fundamentals are the same.”

She was silent for a moment, before looking at Celestia with an unwavering gaze. “This changes matters, doesn’t it? Last night, I was only concerned with proving myself to our subjects, but now...”

“The night shall always be yours, dear sister, even if I needed to borrow it for a time,” Celestia replied reassuringly. “This is the same. You shall still be the princess of the night, and I of the day. It’ll just be a little less literal from now on.”

“And to that, you have no objections?” Luna asked carefully.

Celestia looked out at the dawn as she considered the question. “No. There’s no reason to object to it,” she said softly. “This may well be a natural evolution of our roles. After all, our cutie marks represent far more than bringing forth sun and moon, do they not?” She smiled knowingly at her sister, whose hesitant expression warmed slightly in response.

Luna’s mouth opened a fraction and for a moment she seemed to want to speak, but evidently thought better of it. Instead, she looked back out onto the dawn, as if to assure her it existed. "What is your plan for the day?" Celestia asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, I..." Luna paused, visibly stifling a yawn. "Excuse me. I believe sleep would be most prudent. I admit, I haven't slept in some time, and the dawn has taken quite a bit out of me."

"I should do the same," Celestia said. She tilted her head slightly as she tried to recall if Twilight had mentioned anything about her concussion. "Apparently, if I get enough bed rest, my headache will be cured?"

"So Ramheart says,” Luna confirmed with a nod. “He also advised that somepony monitor you, which is why I nominated Twilight. I didn't expect her to monitor you so closely, however..."

"What?” Celestia’s brow furrowed in confusion, but when her sister glanced over at the bedroom door, she realised it was an implication. She shook her head lightly, embarrassed. “Oh, that wasn't what it seemed."

Luna’s lips quirked up into a slight smirk. "Oh, so she wasn't monitoring you? How scandalous...”

Celestia's features began to grow flushed. "Luna!"

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You make it sound so..." Celestia trailed off, leaving the words hanging in the air.

Luna hummed contemplatively. "So then, why was she sleeping in your bed?"

The white alicorn stopped herself from rolling her eyes mid-roll and found herself up looking up at the sky. “Is there a reason why two friends cannot share a bed now and again?”

“Is there a reason why you’re dodging the question?” her sister pressed.

“Of course not,” Celestia replied flatly, knowing she was cornered. Her ear flicked as she took a moment to organise her thoughts before explaining. “I’ve just... been sleeping poorly lately. I’ve also been disorientated upon waking thanks to this concussion. I had a very bad shock as a result when I woke in the hospital and didn’t care to repeat it. So I asked her to stay with me a while.”

Luna’s ears drooped slightly. “You could have asked me...”

“I...” Celestia froze momentarily. “I could have,” she agreed. “But we had just had a fight, and we both needed some space. I only began to fret about it after Twilight had come to check up on me.”

"You still should have told me about your sleeping problem," the younger alicorn said sadly. “At the very least, I could have eased your nightmares..."

Celestia bowed her head sadly. "I'm sorry, I hadn't realised..." She paused, looking back at Luna with a surprised expression. "You knew I was having nightmares? For how long?"

"I checked up on you not an hour ago, and it was written across your expression," replied Luna, though she cocked her head and gazed intently at her sister. "Only now, I gather that you've been having them for some time?"

Caught out, Celestia hesitated in her reply, and Luna's disappointed face told her that the night princess now knew everything she needed to know.

Well, almost everything. "The nightmares are of Discord, aren't they?" Luna asked sadly. "Oh Celestia..."

Celestia felt her gut twist. Here was the perfect opportunity to end this without hurting Luna, to let her believe the chaotic draconequis was behind everything, the perfect scapegoat.

"Luna, I –" But how could she say yes, to confirm Luna's incorrect suspicions? It would be just what that fiend Discord would want, an utter lack of Harmony between them. Luna was her equal! Hiding things from her would debase the love they felt for one another, and Celestia knew that despite what she wanted, the truth would come out eventually. What would hurt Luna today would shatter her tomorrow.

Her throat was a vice-grip. "It's not Discord, sister."

Her sister frowned. "T-then..."

Now was the time to come clean. "I..." And in the moment of truth, Celestia wavered. "I dreamed of thorns, Luna," she said. A technical truth, yes, but deceptive and dishonest. Hardly a truth at all. "Thorns everywhere. But tonight I found a way out of them." She turned her head away, looking back out at the sunrise. "We'll talk about this later, when I am healed."

Luna nodded lightly, and that was that. She had swallowed a small lie holding a genuine promise for the truth. Celestia hated indulging in the deception Luna's assumptions had offered, but she wasn't ready to air out her demons, not yet.

"So, did the dream end happily at least?" asked the darker alicorn.

"Yes, it did," replied Celestia. "It was all very different than usual." A realization occurred to her, and she smiled gratefully at the midnight-blue mare. "I take it I have you to thank for the dream?"

Luna puffed up slightly, proud. "You are quite welcome. It was an old charm I am adept at, meant to grant sweet dreams."

"So you..." It was like a coil suddenly unwound in her chest, all the tension she had felt upon waking beside Twilight vanishing. It had just been a spell! It wasn’t her mind trying to tell her she was falling for somepony, it had just been a spell trying to give her a sweet image to savour.

More than that, Celestia felt her heart swell with the realisation that her terrible reoccurring nightmare had been overturned by her sister’s kindness. She had dreamed of freeing Luna from the thorns, but it had really been the other way around all along, hadn’t it? She didn’t deserve Luna as a sister. The elder alicorn found herself laughing softly, and, on seeing Luna's curious look, she simply smiled. "I think that dream might have been just what I needed."

Luna smiled back, pleased. “If you don't mind my asking, what was it you dreamed of? After the thorns, I mean."

Celestia thought about it a moment. The vast empty plain, filled with life by the ponies who passed through it. "I dreamed of Equestria," the princess replied.

"Of course you did," Luna said with a chuckle. "And... I suppose you dreamed of Twilight as well?" Her smile was just short of sly.

"Yes, we - " 'We ate fruit below a tree I've never seen before, and when she offered me a taste I...' Except that was just part of the spell, Celestia firmly reminded herself. She coughed, and continued speaking. "We were growing plants. Oh, and running through a wide grassland. Oh, but it wasn't just Twilight, you were there too."

Luna balked slightly. "Not at the same time, I hope."

"Not really, no,” she shook her head carefully, Luna’s reaction giving her a slightly foreboding sensation. “Why would that matter?" A thought occurred to her, and she narrowed her eyes playfully. “Aha... did you have something to do with what I saw?”

“Pardon?” Luna frowned.

“It was your spell,” Celestia pointed out. “Were you teasing me, perhaps?”

The dark alicorn blinked, hesitating as she almost visibly grappled with an explanation. "You are not overly familiar with dream magic, are you?" she hazarded.

It wasn’t the response she had been looking for, and Celestia hesitated for a moment. "I'm afraid those spells are almost entirely beyond me," she confessed. She glanced back at her flank to contemplate the sun cutie mark emblazoned upon it. "After all, the day is the time to act out dreams, not contemplate them." 'With the exception of daydreams and meditation, of course', she added mentally. 'And possibly mirages, but those are mostly illusion and misdirection.' Celestia might not be able to guide dreams but she could still craft illusions with the best of them.

Her sister’s voice snapped her from her thoughts. "Now, now,” she said, mistaking Celestia’s silence for melancholy. “The moon merely reflects the sun's glow. Not only that, you also guided the moon admirably for over a thousand years.”

"Which is why I said almost," Celestia said, allowing herself a moment to grin proudly. “But dreams are more than the night, the moon's influence is more than acting as the sun's reflection, and –" She paused, catching Luna's amused look. "And I suppose you're the last pony I should lecture to about the moon's magical significance," she finished somewhat sheepishly.

Luna nodded. "Quite." They then both broke out into quiet giggles. "Well, at any rate, you should probably ask Twilight to find you a book on dream magic.”

"I'll do that,” Celestia agreed.

“As for me, I’m going to rest.” Luna stepped forward and hugged her sister tight.

“There’s probably going to be a lot of hubbub in the court today,” Celestia murmured into the hug. As they separated, she smiled reassuringly. “I know you’ll be able to handle it, but if you need anything, even just an official statement, you’ll know where to find me.”

Luna nodded in understanding. “And you!” she said firmly, but with a grin that amused Celestia. “Make sure to rest well, listen to the doctors and behave yourself!”

Celestia let out a mock-sigh. “Very well! If the princess insists, what place does an invalid like me have in contradicting her?”

“Hmm, so she can be taught...” Luna said with a grin, earning a rise of an eyebrow from her sister. Luna took no heed, instead spreading her wings and hopping onto the balcony. Celestia stood beside her as they gazed for one last moment out at Luna’s dawn, before the younger turned her head to the other and smiled. “I’ll see you later,” she said. Celestia nodded, and with a beat of dark wings Luna was gone.

Watching her sister soar into the dawn-lit sky, Celestia let out a deep sigh of relief, smiling at her silhouette. It was good to see Luna happy, especially in the wake of their argument the previous night. ‘And her dream spell helped to ease the nightmare as well. Perhaps they will fade in time...’ Celestia couldn’t help but hope. She was tired of extravagant shows of trust that only made her feel guilty for their necessity, but it was a new day, with new opportunities to fix these broken little issues.

Still smiling to herself, Celestia made her way back into her room. Twilight was still fast asleep; bless her, obviously exhausted from the previous day’s trying events. The image of the dream Twilight surfaced in the princess’ mind, but she dismissed it easily now that her head was clear. Carefully, so as not to wake her, Celestia eased herself back into the bed, once more finding her favourite cozy spot in the centre of the bed.

However, since Celestia’s momentary departure from the bed, Twilight had moved in her sleep, turning over and occupying a sizable portion of her favoured spot. Celestia mulled it over in her mind. On the one hoof, this was a problem; her favourite spot was occupied. On the other hoof, it was no problem at all; it was occupied by Twilight, and she was more than welcome to share it. Free cuddles was one bargain Celestia never seemed to find offered to her often enough, so she snuggled in beside her student without deliberating any further.

As quickly as they had closed, Celestia’s eyes snapped open. ‘Oh, I almost forgot about Spike. The poor dear is still alone.’ Which meant, of course... her eyes wandered to the deep purple mane occupying most of her vision. Celestia wished she could have let Twilight continue to sleep. She was such a sweet thing, taking care of her so diligently. But Spike needed to be taken care of too, and Twilight had promised to leave at dawn to check up on him. Celestia felt a bout of weariness and longing. ‘When was the last time I simply slept in bed and cuddled with somepony?’ she mused internally, almost melancholic.

But, noblesse oblige.

She nudged Twilight softly. The lavender mare turned over in her sleep and, now facing Celestia, mumbled something incoherent. Celestia suppressed a snort of amusement. ‘Adorable, but not my intention.’

Celestia lightly poked the unicorn in her belly with a white hoof. That got a reaction, with Twilight squirming under the touch. “Ugh- huh?” she grunted in protest, her eyes opening

“Good morning, Twilight.” Celestia smiled warmly down at her.

The unicorn blinked, her eyelids drooping as she emerged from the haze of sleep. “Hello Celestia...” she murmured, smiling absently up at the alicorn.

“You seem to have slept well,” Celestia said, suppressing a light giggle. “Did you have sweet dreams?”

“Hmm, maybe...” Twilight replied drowsily. She closed her eyes and, with a contented sigh, snuggled closer to Celestia.

“Twi~light,” the alicorn teased in a sing-song tone. “Are you still dreaming?”

The unicorn smiled. “I must be...” she murmured.

Celestia chuckled. “No, really Twilight, you need to get up. You promised.”

For half a second, Twilight went utterly still, before her eyes shot open. She looked up at Celestia’s face hovering above hers, and the princess could practically see the wheels in her mind turning as they struggled for traction. Finally, the pieces came together for her, and Twilight jolted upright with a yelp. “I-I didn’t just-?” she stammered, before covering her face with her hooves. “Oh dear.”

“Good morning to you too, Twilight,” Celestia said, amused by her reaction.

“I, um, good morning Celes- um, Princess. H-how did you sleep?”

“Back to titles?” Celestia asked in a disappointed voice. She was teasing Twilight and they both knew it, but the alicorn found herself surprised by how genuine the disappointment really was. Acting on that feeling, her teasing grin returned. “You know, if you slip up now and again and simply call me Celestia, I won’t correct you.”

Twilight’s jaw hung slack for a moment, before it was claimed by a bashful grin she tried to hide with a hoof. She mumbled something beneath her breath.

Celestia’s ear flicked deliberately. “I apologise, you’ll have to speak up.”

Twilight squirmed, embarrassed, and the alicorn marvelled at how red her protégé’s face was getting. Heavens forgive her, but Celestia couldn’t help it, the need to tease her was stronger than the call of the sun each morning. A panicking Twilight was adorable when she wasn’t inciting riots over stuffed animals.

“As for your question, I slept quite well,” she informed the unicorn with an even expression. “Even though somepony occupied my favourite spot in the bed.” She punctuated her remark with a light tap of her hoof against Twilight’s side.

Celestia could almost see the wires fry in the lavender mare’s brain. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” She hopped aside instantly and, horn glowing, went about fluffing up pillows and straightening the duvet. As the unicorn half-danced around in a mad panic, Celestia crawled back into the spot Twilight had been resting in. It was still warm, and she found no trouble with getting cozy once more, even with the skittish unicorn flitting about the bed.

It suddenly dawned on Celestia that Twilight was flustered about waking up beside her – that is, she was panicking about the very same notion Celestia herself had panicked about not a half-hour before. Realising she was being rather unfair to the poor mare, she spoke up. “Twilight.” Celestia smiled, and the panicking unicorn froze. “I’m only teasing you.” She leaned in and nuzzled the side of her head, feeling the unicorn tangibly relax and lean into the touch. “Thank you for staying with me, I appreciated it very much.”

Twilight turned and slid her neck around Celestia’s, moving into a tight hug. “Y-you’re welcome, Celestia. I... I just want to make things up to you.”

“For what, the accident?” Celestia asked. She felt Twilight nod against her shoulder. ‘Ever responsible...’ the princess mused. If she was to relieve her of this irrational guilt, mere reassurances wouldn’t do. Twilight would have to see with her own eyes and come to her own conclusions about matters. “All right then. Later on today contact the rest of the team working on the experiment and start investigating what went wrong.”

Twilight pulled away and nodded. “Okay. We should figure out something. After all, we managed to preserve most of the data before evacuating.”

“And you’re sure nopony else was hurt?”

The unicorn nodded again. “I’m sure, we were just... shaken. We had just made it out of the building, and I was expecting you to follow, but...” She frowned, a stricken expression descending over her face. “Celestia, I just don’t understand how it created an explosion that big – it blew half the roof off of the facility! And you were in the middle of it...”

“It’s a pity I can’t remember what happened,” the princess sighed, frustration at her headache rising slightly. “At the very least, I’d be able to tell you what happened in the lead up to it all.” Celestia rested her chin atop her hoof. “Hmm... you said my amnesia was only temporary?”

Twilight went still for a fraction of a second. “Y...yes... it should be. I’ll read up a bit on it?” she offered. Her eyes scanned over Celestia, from her bandaged brow to her burn, already fading from sore red to a soft and healthy pink. “Um, how are you feeling?”

“Better. Certainly a lot better,” she said. “I think I’ll wait for Doctor Ramheart’s opinion before I say anything else though.”

Twilight nodded absently, her eyes moving over Celestia. A silence hung over them, a comfortable blanket of idle peace the princess was loath to cast off. But, ever-mindful of pressing concerns, Celestia cast it off anyway, prodding Twilight lightly in the side with her forehoof. “You should go check up on Spike,” she reminded her. Twilight nodded and hopped off the bed without argument.

Celestia brushed a lock of her mane out of her eyes. “Something wrong, Twilight?” she asked, noticing the unicorn had paused again, staring at her. “I’m fine now, really, you needn’t worry,” she assured her.

Twilight rapidly shook her head, a rising blush spreading from her cheeks. “Oh! No, no, it’s okay, I’ll just... uh... I, um, yeah.” She coughed in her hoof, unsuccessfully hiding a mortified expression. She turned and made her way to the door of the chambers, still looking at Celestia from over her shoulder. “Gonna check up on Spike now!” she said, finally looking at where she was going in order to open the doors to the chamber. She lingered by the door for a moment, before looking back and flashing Celestia a quick smile.

She was gone before the alicorn had the chance to return it.

~{C}~

Twilight practically skipped down the halls of the castle – how could she not? It was a bright new day, the birds were singing in the gardens, the world was full of endless possibilities and she absolutely, most certainly was not in love with Celestia.

The unicorn stumbled mid-step and barely caught herself from winding up sprawled on the ground. A nearby guard gave her a concerned look. “Are you alright miss?”

Twilight rigidly turned her head and forced a smile. “Perfectly alright, thanks.”

She continued on her way at a more controlled pace afterward, growling at herself. ‘Get yourself together, Twilight!’ She hoped she could at least make it back to her chambers before she made a foal of herself in front of somepony again.

Fortunately, her room wasn’t too far a journey, and her good humour had returned by the time she reached it. She opened the double doors with a push of magic and strode inside. “Good morning Spike!” she practically sang.

The baby dragon in question just groaned from his basket at the foot of Twilight’s bed. Celestia had offered him a bed of his own, but he claimed to be unable to sleep without the same arrangements he and Twilight had in Ponyville. The princess had met him half-way with a luxury-sized basket, in which he was now burrowing deeper into in order to escape the unicorn who had far too much cheer for so early in the morning.

Twilight merely grinned and flopped on her bed, heart racing. ‘Okay, come on girl, get back together,’ she told herself. ‘It was just a sleepover at the most.’ There was no need for her mind to drift off, to bask in the memory and sensation of being nestled into the alicorn’s side, of watching her sleep, so unguarded, in the night and of her lidded, loving eyes meant only for her in the morning... ‘And she wants me to call her by name...’ Twilight giggled softly, having soundly lost her mental battle against her desires.

But how could she have ever won in the first place? It was too much for her to take. Even the slightest reminder of Celestia seemed enough to split her in two. Turning over in her bed, lost in thoughts of her mentor, Twilight’s hoof nudged one of her pillows. It was fluffy and cloud-white, so she snatched it up immediately with a touch of magic and brought it within her grip. She clutched it tightly and nuzzled it, thoughts of Celestia running uncontrollably through her mind.

‘Oh heavens, she’s so beautiful... oh... and she held me...’ In her mind’s eye, Twilight could practically see Celestia’s face, practically feel Celestia’s forelegs around her once more. She had felt them, it had been real, it had to be.

Absently, Twilight noted with disappointment that the pillow was a poor substitute for her radiant princess. All it had was the colour of her coat, nothing else. It had none of her warmth, none of her reassuring firmness. The fine silk of the pillowcase was a burlap sack compared to her texture, her white coat of fine hair and soft wings of sleek feathers. For a split second Twilight imagined what her horn might feel like – probably ivory – before she blushed deeper and pushed the guilty thought aside, instead burying her face deeper into her poor-mare substitute for Celestia. ‘It’s not the same... it’s just not the same as being there...’ the unicorn bemoaned internally. ‘Oh, why did I panic? Why didn’t I just stay there a little longer?’

The guilt began to creep in on her euphoria, and she ducked her head between her forearms in an attempt to escape. ‘I shouldn’t be having these thoughts,’ she said to herself admonishingly. ‘I shouldn’t. But if I close my eyes, I can almost feel her... I can almost catch her scent...’ She sighed breathily, before halting her laments as she caught a trace of something on the air.

Twilight raised her nose and began to test the air. She hadn’t imagined it – she had caught a faint trace of her mentor’s scent, the same reassuring spice and sandalwood blend, though faded, giving way to something much more naturally equine. Twilight sniffed at the pillow and her sheets, wondering what Celestia had been doing in these chambers, until the bit dropped.

It was Twilight herself. She had spent the night acting out an impossible dream, and yet mingled with her own scent was invisible evidence of last night’s reality, caressed into her very skin.

With that realisation, Twilight’s already frazzled, overheated mind approached the consistency of boiling applesauce. Her heart thundered against her ribs at a furious staccato beat, her forelegs became a vice around her pillow. The same scent that set her off before, that made her overcompensate Celestia’s illusion, that scent which nearly gave her away completely... ‘And it’s all over me. It’s mingling with my own, it’s... oh!’

Twilight was lost again, deeper than ever. She tossed and turned in her bed, rocking back and forth with her pillow in her grip, revelling in Celestia’s scent, revelling in her memories and her fantasies. Thoughts of Celestia, hovering over her, nuzzling her, whispering, promising...

“Twilight? What’re you doing?”

Twilight was snapped unceremoniously from her fantasies by a bleary-eyed Spike, looking at her from the foot of her bed. Her already blushing face deepened to a near-red as she stumbled through dawning comprehension of what had just occurred. “I... wha–?”

“You’ve been giggling to yourself and rolling around for ten minutes,” he told her. “It’s getting creepy.”

“S-sorry, Spike, I...” She cleared her throat and sat up self-consciously. “Sorry.”

The greatest, most awkward of silences prevailed, lord and master of the air between the two. Glancing over at the door of their en suite bathroom, Twilight finally ended its reign of tyranny with a simple, “I’m going to go take a bath.”

“Uh, okay...” Spike replied, scratching the back of his head with his claws self-consciously.

With all the calmness and composure she could muster, Twilight hopped off the bed, trotted past the baby dragon and into the bathroom, set the water running into the marble bath, added some salts and bubblebath to the mix and, gritting her teeth hard, leaped inside.

Freezing!

Twilight stifled a shriek as she plunged into the ice cold water. ‘Why did I think this was a good idea!?’ Her jaw, still tightly shut, began to flex, trying to clatter as the cold sent pangs through her body. Quickly, she reached out with her magic and turned the hot faucet on.

She had never really needed a cold shower before, but in certain fiction books she had perused the concept had been presented as a means of focus on cleaner thoughts. She regretted not investigating further and assuming a cold bath was an equitable alternative – clearly, the “system shock” was what was desired, and while she had certainly attained that with the bath, she had also been left sitting up to her withers in freezing cold water. ‘Perhaps I should investigate this further for future reference?’ Twilight contemplated, stirring the water with a levitated scrub-brush in order to better spread the hot water now pouring into the tub. ‘No,’ she decided. ‘No, this doesn’t warrant any further research. This is stupid. This whole thing is stupid.’

Her mind clear now, she quickly grew more and more annoyed with herself. She was acting like a little filly with a schoolyard crush – but that was the root of the problem, wasn’t it?

Yet, unbidden, her heart continued to call up that image of Celestia, not the one she had seen in her eyes for all her life, the icon of perfection, but of the Celestia she had woken up beside – her coat singed, her feathers blackened, her head bandaged, and yet somehow more beautiful than she had ever seen. A Celestia close enough to touch, to –

‘Stop it.’ Twilight frowned, sinking to her chin in the water.

But she looked at you, that part of her argued, and you know it was different. There had to be something there.

‘Enough. That’s just hormones talking.’

You love her.

‘I do, but not in that way. Yesterday was stressful, and the psychological shock and endorphins have simply... kicked up a few things better left buried. Enough is enough.’

You can’t deny what your heart feels. Mind and body work as one. You know, logically and emotionally, that you are not some cold, calculating machine. You can’t deny your feelings, you can’t put them in a box and hide it under your bed.

‘I’m not denying how I feel. But I can let it run its course. I can let it go. This isn’t how I want to feel... this much is enough, so just let it go.’

Her heart was silent to that, conceding the round to her head, but Twilight knew neither was fully satisfied. Ignoring it, she focused on her bath, shutting off the hot faucet now that the temperature was acceptable. She scrubbed extra hard, cleaning off every last scrap of ash still clinging to her body and making doubly sure her coat smelled of nothing but her favourite lavender soap.

Emerging quickly from the bath, she dried herself off with a quick, precise blast of a wind spell, before marching back into her room and plopping down in front of her dressing table. Three Twilights looked back at her from the expensive vanity mirror, but she refused to meet their gaze until her mane was thoroughly brushed and even. ‘Should my highlight go on the left or the right side of my horn?’ she debated briefly, before shrugging and leaving it as it always was.

Finally, she looked, really looked at her reflection. She saw those three Twilight Sparkles looking confidently back at her, and felt equine again.

“Alright, Spike!” she announced brightly. “We’ve got a lot to do today. Are you ready?”

Spike, already determined to resume his dozing, merely grunted in reply.

She turned and looked at him disapprovingly. “Spike, come on, it’s time to get up.”

“What time is it, even?” the dragon groaned from his basket.

Twilight glanced at the clock. “It’s a quarter to seven.”

Spike moaned and pulled his blankets over his head. “Why do I have to get up so early?”

“Because I need to take care of Celestia today, but neither of us want you to have to wake up in the castle alone,” she replied earnestly.

Spike’s muffled voice rose from the blankets. “I was up all night yesterday. Trust me, I’ve got no plans to wake up at all today.”

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but then paused to consider it. Spike did know the castle well, and he had been up far later than his usual bedtime... “Alright, how about a compromise?” she offered him.

A sleepy yet curious green eye peered up at her from a gap in his blankets. “Yeah?”

“You come down to the kitchens with me and we’ll get some breakfast,” she said. “Then, you can nap the day away, okay?”

The blankets twitched, and the baby dragon emerged from their folds. “Alright, you make a convincing argument,” he said, stretching his tired limbs.

“Great!” Twilight smiled and levitated him onto her back, where he quickly found the usual spot. His spines dug slightly into her coat for grip, a little deeper than she had gotten used to over the years. It had been that way for a few months, and coupled with a little weight gain, Twilight was forced to admit it – he was growing up. Properly, this time. “Could you just do one teensy favour for me?” she asked him.

Spike flourished a quill and parchment, already prepared. “Checklist?” he asked with a grin.

Twilight chuckled with the dragon. “And that’s why you’re my number one assistant,” she said appreciatively as they walked out into the castle hallways. “Alright then, checklist for today. Item one –”

“What, no need for extra ink?”

“Ha ha. No, this is a short list.” Twilight rolled her eyes – she was never going to live that down. “Anyway, item one: take care of Celestia. Mark that high priority and importance, Spike.”

“Gotcha.” The scritch-scratch of the quill on parchment drifted in her ear. She didn’t even have to turn to check if his clawwriting was legible – Spike had long ago mastered the art of transcription on horseback.

“Item two: speak with fellow researchers. We need to figure out what happened with that explosion to see if we’ve got any hope of salvaging my research.” Her ears perked up. “Who knows, if the data looked promising and we resolve the source of the catastrophe, we might even be able to repeat it successfully!”

“Too bad about the princess’ amnesia, huh?” Spike asked. “She would’ve been able to tell us exactly what happened, wouldn’t she?”

Twilight’s pace slowed for a moment as she went somewhat silent, but her assistant’s voice snapped her out of the daze. “Uh, Twilight?”

“Hm? I... yes, you’re right Spike. Princess Celestia was saying the same thing earlier.” Twilight bit her lip. ‘If she remembers, then...’ “Spike, item three: Find some medical books in the library on post-traumatic amnesia.”

“Good call.”

“Thank you, Spike,” Twilight replied primly. “And finally, item four: Speak with Princess Luna.”

“Huh?” Spike’s brow raised in confusion.

“She seemed upset last night,” she explained. “I want to make sure she’s okay.”

Her stomach grumbled. “Oops.” She chuckled, embarrassed. “Item five: hurry up and get to the kitchen!”

Spike jotted that note down with gusto. “I like the sound of that!”

Picking her pace up to a light canter, she quickly made her way through the castle’s wide corridors until she arrived at the minor hall which served as the crossroads between the true dining hall and the palace kitchen. Debating briefly on where to go, she spotted an earth pony mare in a black blouse and an apron emerge from the kitchen route.

“Um, excuse me?” she called to the servant. The mauve earth pony maid looked over at her, and a flash of recognition in her eyes showed she knew who Twilight was.

“Ah, Miss Sparkle, good morning,” she greeted pleasantly. “I take it you’re here for breakfast?”

“Yes, actually.” Twilight nodded. “Princess Celestia is going to be resting today, so we were hoping something could be sent up to her?”

“Of course, of course. It’s just...” The maid paused. “Let me get the steward,” she said with a smile.

Twilight watched with a slight note of confusion as the maid trotted over to the doors of the dining hall, briskly tapping her hoof against it. The doors opened under a green glow of magic and a teal unicorn emerged. After the two quickly traded a few whispered words, the unicorn nodded in understanding and approached Twilight, smiling pleasantly. “Good morning, Miss Sparkle.”

“Good morning. Is...” Twilight paused. “Is something the matter?”

“Not at all; in fact, it’s fortunate you’re here,” the steward replied. “We have a slight surplus in food this morning, you see, and we fear it is rather perishable. Tell me, do you think the Princess would object to a more simple breakfast than usual?”

“I can’t say that she would, but why...?” Twilight began, before the unicorn’s horn glowed. The double doors leading to the main dining hall opened wide under the steward’s push of magic, revealing to Twilight the exact nature of the ‘foodstuff surplus’.

Spike’s jaw dropped. “Are these all for...?”

“The princess, yes,” the steward said with a nod.

“Oh...” the lavender mare murmured in dawning comprehension. Grinning, she turned to the steward. “I don’t think this will be a problem at all.”

~{C}~

After Twilight left, Celestia had tried to get a spot more rest. She found, however, that a strange frustration held her efforts at bay. She idly observed the emotion through the corner of her mind’s eye, trying to identify its source. It didn’t elude her for long – she was sweaty, and her skin felt almost slimy against the sheets. ‘When was the last time I had a bath?’ she wondered. She realised it had to have been before the accident, which meant... her expression twisted in distaste – she had slept all night marinating in soot!

She rose from her bed, pushing the duvet off and looking down at where she had slept. A streaky circle of grey marked her spot, standing in stark contrast to the pure white of the rest of the silk sheet. ‘I hope that can be cleaned...’ she thought ruefully, thinking of the unfortunate servant who would be stuck with the duty of bleaching it out.

She walked out of her bedroom and into her adjacent washroom with the intention of freshening up – she didn’t want to spend the time between now and her next bath feeling like she was wallowing in sweaty grime, and besides, what would her servants think to see her like that?

She filled a clay bowl with warm water from a silver faucet and gingerly lifted it with her teeth. While scanning the room for a suitable place to sit for the unusual task, her attention was drawn to the mirror that dominated the blank wall. Her reflection was obscured by a thin silk veil, transforming her reflection into a pink dapple against the orange and red of the fabric screen. It was a curious effect, which is why she had it installed in the first place, but instead of admiring it she found herself dreading what lay beyond.

‘Well, nothing else for it but to look,’ she figured, trotting purposefully towards it.

Setting the bowl of warm water on the ground, she reached forward, tugged the silk away from the face of the mirror, and was struck by the sight of herself, for the first time since the accident.

It wasn’t the burn stretching across the right of her body that stunned her into silence, nor was it the bandages wrapped around her head in place of her crown. She had expected those. What she hadn’t expected was how grey she looked.

‘Goodness, I look like Discord got a hold of me,’ she thought, her mouth twisting in distaste at the morbid thought.

To anypony else, she was sure her coat would seem white, but the streaks of grey where ash still clung to her hair and was rubbed into her skin were plain as day to her eyes. Noting the splotchiness of the stains, it occurred to her that somepony had attempted to clean her up after the accident. Probably a unicorn, considering she only had a few pegasus attendants. She extended her wings to check, and concluded that whoever had washed her most certainly was not a pegasus – the ash and soot was much more pronounced in her wings, entrenched between her feathers too deep for a mere wipe of a washcloth to reach. Wingless ponies just didn’t understand how to maintain wings.

There was no way a simple freshening up would be enough to restore her complexion to her normally pristine sheen. A bath, as soon as possible, was paramount.

She scrubbed her face and neck until they were free of all soot, then let the washcloth fall into the water. Gripping it with her teeth, she carefully lifted the now redundant bowl and dropped it back into the sink, then left the washroom, contemplating her options. Though what she really wanted was a good, hot bath – and perhaps a massage – there was one thing she could do to clean up and relax.

Back in her room, she tugged the door to her closet open with her teeth. Mercifully, it glided open without even the faintest of whispers. Thanking the diligence of her servants for keeping it well-oiled, she walked in and quickly spotted her quarry – a full-length mirror mounted on a wheeled frame, normally reserved for use when she was being fitted for ball gowns. ‘This will do nicely,’ she thought, pleased, as she rolled it towards her bed.

Celestia perched herself at the end of the bed and snatched a few cushions for support with a nudge of magic. Her headache protested weakly, but it was nothing she couldn’t simply ignore. With one eye on her reflection in the mirror to guide her muzzle, Celestia reared her head back and began to preen her wings.

The act of preening was extremely relaxing for a pegasus, and Celestia was no exception. At the base of the primaries in particular were clusters of nerve endings enabling a pony to instinctively sense shifts in wind direction, humidity, temperature, and all sorts of other minute details mid-flight. Of course, like all things, some were naturally better at using this enhanced sense of touch than others. Some even trained themselves at it in order to improve their instincts, becoming weather-ponies or racers. Celestia knew she had particular skill in sensing shifts in the weather, but couldn’t claim any great innate talent. Centuries of practice and hard work were what had honed her skills with that sense, particularly when it came to humidity and temperature – creating the perfect summer’s day wasn’t a matter of simply raising the sun and hoping for the best, after all.

Preening stimulated those nerves as part-massage, part-acupuncture, relaxing the body, loosening joints and ligaments and triggering endorphins to keep the muscles limber. Rather than use her teeth, which would run the risk of outright plucking healthy feathers, Celestia carefully clamped down on each individual feather with her lips and tested it with a light tug. Several of the burnt ones came out without protest, carrying with them a disconcerting sensation, comparable to what the Earth must feel when a carrot is plucked from its soil. ‘I’m moulting...’ she realised as she continued to preen. ‘It must be because I’m healing. These feathers will replace themselves soon.’

There was a musical call in the air accompanied by a rustle of wings belonging to another, and a hot bundle of feathers and claws alighted on her back. In the mirror, Celestia could see Philomena perched atop her white frame, eyeing her with curiosity. “Why good morning, my dear Philomena,” she said with a bright smile.

Philomena cried out in greeting, cocking her head at her master, who chuckled. “Yes, yes, I am aware my wings are positively filthy.”

Philomena warbled in disagreement, nuzzling Celestia’s dirty feathers. Celestia’s smile shifted into one of appreciation. “Hmm, of course,” she chuckled. “I should have known you wouldn’t have a problem with a touch of ash between the feathers.”

The phoenix crowed again, and Celestia laughed. “Oh, you think it’s a good look for me?” She studied her reflection again. Stretching her wings wide in a display of intimidation, she leered at the scuffed alicorn before her and tried to imagine a warrior. “Hmm, no,” she chuckled, and her reflection turned softer once more. “These are not turbulent times, it’s more appropriate to be clean. Why, we even have running water now!”

Philomena crowed wearily. “Oh shush, let me indulge myself,” she said, returning her attention to her wings.

After a few more burnt feathers had been plucked, she noticed her phoenix was still studying her.

“Are you taking notes?” she asked, fixing her with a playful glare. “If you preened yourself more often, your rejuvenation would go along much faster.”

Philomena scoffed and began to scratch under her wing with her beak, clearly bored of watching her master tidy herself. Celestia merely rolled her eyes and, horn lit with a golden aura, sent the blackened, plucked feathers around her towards a wastebasket beneath her dressing table.

Suddenly, the base of her horn spurted bright sparks, lighting up the room like the flash of a dozen cameras. Celestia cut her magic immediately, but was too late. What felt like a hot spike of ice plunged into her skull right underneath her horn, robbing her breath as her migraine surged over her.

‘It was only feathers!’ She groaned and scrunched up her face in concentration, trying to suppress the pain in her forehead. The room spun, and Celestia carefully placed a hoof down, relying on her earth pony nature to steady herself. Rather than stone or wood, however, her hoof pressed down into her mattress. Without a connection to the earth, the spinning room overwhelmed Celestia and she tumbled over into her bedcovers.

Head buried in her sheets, she simply lay there, waiting for the spinning and throbbing in her skull to abate. As it passed, she pushed herself back up and took a breath to collect herself before fixing Philomena with a stern look. “Not one word.”

The phoenix threw her head back and let out a loud, warbling laugh. An embarrassed blush rose across her cheeks. “Oh, you horrible thing, laughing at an invalid,” she groused, but a sheepish smile was growing at the corner of her mouth despite her words. “Didn’t I raise you better than that?”

Philomena paused, then warbled even louder, fluttering into the air to land at the bed’s headboard. Celestia chuckled and rested her head on the bed, without even worrying about pillows. ‘Nothing to do today except rest... how curious.’ Her hoof idly traced circles in her sheets, and when she looked up a neglected bookcase on the far wall caught her eye. “Philomena, dear, could you get me something to read?” she asked.

Philomena nodded and took to the air with a fiery beat of her wings, clearly trying to squeeze every last drop of drama from the daring feat of flying to the bookcase. Celestia sat up and stomped her hooves on her bed frame in applause to humour her vain pet as the bird landed on the top shelf and chirped. The phoenix's chest feathers puffed in pride, savouring the moment a while before deciding to get to business.

Hopping around the shelf and tilting her head to look at the titles, she seemed to spot something. Tapping a heavy tome with her talon, she chirped questioningly.

“Tax Policies through the Ages?” Celestia chuckled. “No thank you, something lighter, please.”

Philomena peered around the shelf, and then looked down over the edge to the shelf below her. Spotting something, she dived to the lower shelf and pulled a dusty scroll out from behind a few books.

“No, I didn’t mean literally lighter.” Celestia paused and peered in growing worry at the faded scroll in the bird's grip. “Is that... Oh dear, that's the missing Dead Sea Scroll, isn't it?” She bit her lip, mortified, only now remembering how she had temporarily borrowed it from the museum on a whim for some late-night reading... over nine years ago. “Philomena, stick it in my ‘out’ tray and remind me to mix it up into some of the unsorted Royal Archive documents later. We'll pretend the Illunanati hid it.”

Philomena squawked sceptically, but did as she was told – after all, it wasn't her first time sorting out the treasure trove of forgotten literature that was Celestia's personal, “light-reading” bookcase. Setting it aside, she lifted up another scroll.

Celestia shook her head. “No, I’d prefer a book, if it's not much trouble.” Books were made for use with hooves, and scrolls were a little tougher to manipulate without magic, since they had a tendency to roll back up when not fixed in place with magic or a paperweight.

Philomena picked up a small volume and brought it over to the alicorn, who looked at it curiously. “Fire and Rain: Collected Essays on the Interpretation of Dreams, by Sigmund Ears?” Celestia raised a thoughtful eyebrow at the book. ‘Now when did I get this... ah, yes, I remember, it was a gift from Twilight a while ago.’ She flicked it open with her hoof, flipping through the pages to find the index. ‘Perhaps it has some information about dream magic...’ Finding only a lone reference, she flicked over to the page in question and began to read.

... which must remain absolutely clear. However, magically-induced dreaming is less open to interpretation than regular REM-related dreams, as they generally invoke deliberate mental imagery with a clear structural flow of events. There is debate on how effective the insertion of artificial imagery into the subconscious mind through magic affect dreams, and even further debate on whether or not such acts fall under the garden of dream magic or in the much broader telepathy magic garden.

Her Majesty Princess Luna has gone on record clarifying that it is not the act, but the implementation that affects which garden a spell should reside in, explaining that while in “telepathic dreams” all dreamers will experience the same induced image, with dream magic the image is subject to the dreamer’s subconscious interpretation, meaning no two ponies would dream the same thing even if they are induced with the same image.

However, magically-induced dreaming is less open to interpretation than regular REM-related dreams, as they generally invoke deliberate mental imagery with a clear structural flow of events. There is debate on how effective the insertion of artificial imagery into the subconscious mind through magic affect dreams, and even further debate on whether or not such acts fall under the garden of dream magic or in the much broader telepathy magic garden. Princess Luna

Celestia blinked at the second mention of her sister’s name and paused in her reading. ‘I read that paragraph twice...’ she realised, frowning. Massaging her temple, she continued to search for hints.

Increasingly, these spells are used for therapeutic treatment of stress-related mental illnesses. The “Sweet Dreams” spell is one such example, which guides the sleeping mind away from negative thoughts and into a more positive “zone” which, in time, can be reached by simple meditation. In theory, this is reported to alleviate the symptoms of stress and depression, and findings do support these claims. As a result, there is a tendency in the public mind to believe such a spell is a cure-all for mental illnesses, but it must be stressed many disorders are chemically based also – a imbalance or deficiency of endorphins, adrenalin or certain hormones in the brain all impact on these illnesses, and must be treated with medicine the same as any other illness...

Celestia haltingly read on for several more pages, but the book seemed more interested in the topic of the interpretation of regular dreams and the psychology of ponies suffering from stress-related illnesses than dream spells, which made sense – the author’s portrait on the dust jacket of the volume showed an earth pony. It was all very interesting, to be sure, but not what Celestia was looking for, and besides that, she constantly found herself retreading words she had already read. Closing the book, she set it on her bedside table to read once she had healed completely so she could give it due focus.

“Philomena, I think I need something I’ve read before, so I don’t need to focus as hard,” Celestia said, looking over to the phoenix. “Any thoughts?”

She warbled and tugged a large, glossy red book off the shelf. Celestia watched as her pet flew up and landed in front of her, offering her the tome. The princess smiled knowingly as she read the title aloud.

“The Magic of Friendship: Studies on the connection between harmonious interpersonal relationships and the application of practical and theoretical magic...” Celestia’s smile widened. “By Twilight Sparkle. My faithful student’s thesis, hmm?” She turned her smile towards her phoenix. “A very thoughtful choice, Philomena, I –”

She paused, a feather of déjà vu stoking its way down her spine. She glanced down at Twilight’s thesis before her before closing her eyes, dropping into her meditative state. ‘This is significant,’ she told herself, knowing that a piece of her missing memory was related to the book. ‘Remain calm and allow the memory to come in due time,’ she instructed herself, and sure enough...

Sensations began to poke at the edge of her mind. The sensation of... nostalgia? ‘I was reading... something... the thesis?’ Celestia’s gut told her that was wrong, and she trusted it – it was more reliable than her head right now, at the very least. ‘No, not the thesis, but it was to do with Twilight...’

‘What else has Twilight written?’ she asked herself. ‘Well, her friendship reports...’ Like a sunrise over the mountains, a feeling of recollection began to overtake the amnesia plaguing her. Excitedly, Celestia thought of the friendship reports, but the harder she thought of them, the more fleeting her absent memories became.

'Wait. Stop.’ She breathed deeply, reasserting her meditative calm. ‘Simply allow it to arrive. Something... reading. Reading reports.' That was it, certainly, but there was more. At the edge of her mind, something was calling out for attention. Her eyes opened and she looked down at the thesis before her. ‘That’s what it was. You were thinking of Twilight, when she had graduated... and competed her thesis... and so was somepony else!'

She silently cheered for her small victory against her memory. There had been somepony, somepony talking about it...

Things clicked into place. The mountains obscuring her memory dissolved into mist, and suddenly her disembodied thoughts and subconscious cues made sense.

A smile spread across Celestia's face. 'Yes. Yesterday...'

She remembered!

~{C}~

Celestia had been in her study, lounging on her plush cushions and flicking through several memos relating to Court matters when a knocking at the door caught her attention.

"Enter," she bid the visitor inside, recognizing the knock as one of her guards' codes. In this case, “all's well; somepony seeks counsel”.

Sure enough, the door opened to reveal a guard. "Your majesty, Lady Twilight Sparkle has arrived. Shall I direct her here?"

"Please do, thank you," Celestia replied with a smile. The guard nodded curtly and, as soon as he left, Celestia set about tidying the notes and documents strewn about her. Picking them up with a touch of magic, she rose and moved to her desk, sending the memos flying into whichever pigeonhole they belonged. As usual, a shelf stacked full of rolls of parchment bound with red ribbon drew her attention and, as usual, she plucked up several and floated them towards her as she settled back down on her lounge cushion.

‘I have time to read a few...’ she told herself as the scrolls opened before her. When she had fallen into the habit of re-reading Twilight’s friendship reports, she wasn’t certain. She knew, however, this was more an act of nostalgia than anything else – Twilight had matured so much over the years out of her mentor’s mindful eye, the friendship reports often seemed to be the only map Celestia had to link the studious but reclusive student she remembered to the sharp and confident mare of today, just on the cusp of her career.

They still exchanged letters, increasingly often in the past months as Twilight’s research had begun taking several exciting turns, but it had been a long time since she had received a friendship report. That chapter in their lives was over, but Celestia wouldn’t mourn it.

She’d always have the letters.

She looked over them with a smile. Twilight had written this one the first time they had met the zebra sage, Zecora. This one was at a birthday party thrown for Pinkie, the Element of Laughter. She pulled another one towards her - this one was a personal favourite of the princess’, written after Twilight had discovered she and her friends’ cutie marks had all appeared due to the same event, Rainbow Dash’s first Sonic Rainboom. Celestia had, of course, investigated the Rainboom and learned about Rainbow Dash soon after Twilight entered her tutelage, but never had any idea all six of them earned their marks at the same time. Had it been the Elements at work? Or something greater?

Celestia couldn’t possibly tell. It had actually sparked a long conversation between Luna and herself about inevitability and the nature of destiny which went on into the long hours of the night. In the end, they had simply agreed that if destiny had truly united Twilight and her friends, then it followed that the universe desired harmony. Of course, Celestia had laughed and cautioned Luna that they were both somewhat biased towards Harmony, but they enjoyed the sentiment regardless.

Another scroll opened before her. This one was...

Celestia stared at the scroll for a moment, before smiling. She remembered this one...

This one was the one that had assured Celestia that her student was able to live her life out from under her teacher’s wing.

She had received it a few months after Twilight had begun living in Ponyville, and it stood out from the other letters mainly because her student’s correspondence had been extremely quiet in the preceding weeks. So, having begun to worry slightly for her welfare, Celestia had sent a casual letter to check up on her. This report was the reply, one that filled her with pride and assured her of her student’s growth. It was written in Twilight’s own writing rather than Spike’s, appropriate for how personal the contents were.

She sent the other scrolls back to their prized place on her shelf and settled down to read the report in her magic grip.

Dearest Princess Celestia,

I sincerely apologise for taking so long to send you my latest report. My mind had been preoccupied with doubts unlike what I am used to grappling with, and my studies suffered as a result. But, I’m happy to say those doubts are banished now, and because of that I learned an important lesson about friendship – a true friend is one who always watches out for you, and will be there for you even if you don’t realise you need them.

You must be wondering what these doubts were about, so I’m just going to outright say it.

I was in love with somepony, but she doesn’t love me back.

Though such a situation might be a minor tragedy to others, this was my first time experiencing heartbreak, and it devastated me. It led me to doubt myself, and to doubt my friends, to doubt the worth of my research. There were days I’d flat out refuse to get up, shutting the curtains and wallowing in the darkness.

But without even asking, my friends sensed my sadness and were there for me. They cheered me up and made me laugh and feel loved and, when I finally explained what I was going through to them, they were there to cry with me and reassure me.

I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends, and that includes you, Princess, because when I received your beautiful letter I knew that I would always have a place in the hearts of the ponies I love.

Friendship really can cure anything!

Ever your faithful student (and friend),

Twilight Sparkle

Celestia had been afraid something like that would have happened – out in the wider world, away from her fortress of books, Twilight was inevitably going to be vulnerable to emotional trials. Celestia had feared the mission and assignment she had given her student would prove to eventually be too much of a culture shock for the young mare to adjust to. Twilight was a passionate soul who would put her whole heart into whatever task she set her mind to, but because of that she was prone to overreaction, especially if there was a risk she would fail to live up to the standards she perceived others setting for her.

All her life she had foregone friendship in order to prove herself in her teacher’s eyes, something that had saddened Celestia behind all the pride she felt at her student’s accomplishments. She was well trained in etiquette and prided her persona as the princess’ star student, using these in lieu of actual social skills whenever she interacted with somepony new. She had unshakable confidence in her abilities, but that was because she knew Celestia was proud of her. Always measuring herself with another pony’s yardstick, she never truly built up confidence in her own worth, only confidence that others saw worth in her.

She went to desperate lengths to keep her friends and family’s approval. The thought of losing it shook her young heart to its core. How much worse would it be, how terribly would she be affected if somepony broke that heart?

“Devastating” was, no doubt, too light a word.

But...

Although she had cloistered herself away, although she hadn’t spoken a word to her mentor, and although Celestia hadn’t been there to help her... she got through it. Her friends had refused to abandon her to her own despair. Celestia smiled fondly to herself. It was from that point on that Twilight truly began to grow.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. “Enter!” she called.

The door was opened by her guard, and Celestia could see Twilight waiting right behind him. She smiled at the unicorn, who smiled back as the guard bowed respectfully. “Your majesty, announcing Lady Twilight Sparkle.”

“Thank you, sir,” Twilight said smartly, walking into the study.

Celestia rose to greet her student. “Twilight Sparkle! How lovely to see you.” She looked over at the guard and nodded in thanks. “That will be all for now, thank you.” The guard bowed again and closed the doors behind him, giving the alicorn and her protégé their privacy. “Twilight, I’m so glad you could make it. It’s simply been far too long.”

“It’s wonderful to see you too, Princess,” Twilight said. Her eyes moved to the scroll hovering before her mentor. “Oh, are you busy?”

“Not at all.” Celestia smiled, floating the report over to her. “Just doing some light reading of an old favourite.”

Twilight studied it for a second, before her eyes widened in recognition. She smiled warmly. “Oh, haha, wow,” she said, her eyes misting with reminiscence. “I remember writing this. Seems like it was a lifetime ago.”

“Yes, it really was, in a sense.” The scroll rolled up and was sent back to its place beside the others on the shelf. “I was just remembering how well you handled the situation, that’s all.”

Twilight gave her a flat look. “I stopped talking to everyone and locked myself in the library for nearly a month.”

Celestia chuckled. “Yes, and in the wake of it all you learned an important lesson about friendship and went on to be more outgoing in your social life and more diligent in your research than ever before, correct?” Her eyes narrowed as a sly grin crept up her face. “Perhaps a bit too diligent, hmm?”

Memories floated in the air between them, of Ponyville erupting into chaos – again – over an enchanted doll. Twilight chuckled self-consciously. “Not one of my finer moments...”

Celestia scoffed lightly. “I wouldn’t worry. You’re hardly short of those, my dear.” A yellow glow enveloped the cushions beside her and they arranged themselves into a comfortable spot large enough for a normal pony. She patted it with a hoof, inviting the unicorn over. “Now come, sit down and let’s catch up. There’s only so much our letters can convey, after all.”

They spent the next hour simply sharing the latest stories of each other’s lives. Twilight did most of the talking – of her research, of all the organisation and correspondence she had done to gather other researchers to help her work, of the breakthroughs they had made and her excitement about the day’s experiment. However, she still had plenty of stories of her friends in Ponyville, little moments and humorous recollections about Pinkie Pie’s latest antic, Rainbow Dash’s latest trick, or Rarity’s latest saddle design.

On her part, Celestia gave her thoughts on certain aspects of Twilight’s research, offering tidbits of knowledge and insight into magical rituals of times long past. The unicorn listened, nearly reverent in attention, jotting down in the corner of a scrap of parchment words of wisdom forgotten by time itself, saved only by one beyond time’s touch.

Then, reminded by Twilight’s story of an impromptu orchestra Pinkie had formed, Celestia switched the subject to an opera she had seen the past week. Twilight set the parchment aside and followed along, having read all about it in at least four books and a dozen classical music publications.

The conversation darted from there to art and art history to history, back to magic and then onto a dozen other topics as they simply spoke to one another, relishing the time spent together and soaking up each other’s presence.

Tea was delivered by a servant, conveniently filling up a lull in the conversation. Stirring her tea, a thought occurred to Celestia. “You know...” She looked at her protégé. “You never said who it was.”

“Who who was?” Twilight cocked her head to the side, somewhat perplexed. Celestia bobbed her head towards the scrolls in the bookcase, and the unicorn’s eyes widened in understanding. “Who she was? Well...”

“If it’s very private, I won’t intrude,” the princess clarified quickly. “I’m just a bit curious, but... well, sometimes the world can do with a little mystery here and there.”

Twilight hummed in agreement, contemplating what to say. “I was going to, actually,” she confessed. “But as I was writing the letter I realised it didn’t matter. What mattered was how it changed me – it was a crush, but there was a reason for it. I...” She turned her eyes downward, then brought them up to regard Celestia, a bittersweet smile on her face.

“I feel like I wasn’t in love with her because I loved her, but because I wanted somepony to be with. I wanted her to sweep me off my hooves, but in the end, what I actually needed was my friends. It took me a while to realise it, but I already had everything I needed.” Twilight smiled and shrugged. “It probably would have been the same no matter who I had fallen for. Maybe.”

“Are you still in contact with her?” the princess inquired. “I imagine it’s difficult to avoid someone in a small town like Ponyville.”

Twilight scratched her hoof. “Heh, yeah...”

Sensing she was avoiding the topic, Celestia settled on the most appropriate course of action.

She began to tease her.

“Hmm...” she hummed, exaggerating her musing. “Was it Applejack?”

Twilight shrank back. “W-why would you think it was her?” she spluttered.

“Well, you two spend a lot of time together...” Celestia said innocently.

“Well, I spend a lot of time with Rarity too!” the unicorn protested.

Celestia brought her gold-clad hoof down on the ground with a thump. “Aha, so it was Rarity!”

Twilight forced a laugh. “Okay, I’m changing the subject now.”

“Oh, no, this is interesting. Far more interesting than my love life, at any rate.”

“I can count on my hooves the number of ponies I’ve dated in my life, Princess,” Twilight protested. “I think you have me beat. I mean, what would you use to count? Your wings?”

“A lover per feather?” Celestia gasped in mock-exclaimation. “I shudder to imagine what your perception of me is, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight grinned, now clearly enjoying the banter. “Well. I have heard the stories...”

Celestia hesitated a moment, her face blank, before she let out a musical laugh. “Oh, stories. Oh my, someponies can just be so silly. I hope you’re not listening.”

“Oh, of course not,” Twilight assured her. “They don’t bother me anymore, but I do get kinda angry when ponies insist it’s true, as if I just hadn’t noticed or anything as your student.”

“I don’t know, Twilight...” The princess propped her chin up with her forearm and smiled all too innocently. “My guards are known for being discreet...”

“... Wha...?” Twilight clearly found it difficult to articulate her thoughts while her jaw was hanging so loose. “I... no.” She shook her head, laughing. “No, no, sorry, that’s too much of a stretch. Guards are for guarding.”

Celestia’s smile remained persistent and unwavering. Her tail flicked.

“Guards are for guarding!” Twilight insisted desperately, stomping her hooves frantically into her cushion.

Celestia held the smile a moment longer before dropping the facade and laughing musically once more. “Yes, you and I know that, but try telling that to the public! Here’s a hint – it’ll be counter-productive. Oh, some of the things I’ve read...”

“You’ve read stories about... that?” Twilight gasped in disbelief.

“Of course,” Celestia said breezily. “I don’t really mind them doing it. It’s a harmless hobby, really, but some take it a bit too far. For instance, this one young lady wrote quite the tale of an alleged ‘Duchess Heavenly’...” She paused and looked around. “Hmm, I don’t have it here. Anyway, I found it rather funny but a few of the faculty found it offensive. There was some minor scandal and she exiled herself from Canterlot for a fresh start.” She tapped a hoof to her chin, considering something. “Oh, by the way, as ruler of Equestria, I decree that you are forbidden from reading the publication in question.”

Twilight scratched her neck, looking anywhere but Celestia. “Actually, now that you mention it... a Duchess, was it?”

Celestia blinked. “You’ve... ah.”

“Yeah...”

They both looked at their empty teacups for several agonising moments, before the princess ventured to break the silence. “Guards are for guarding,” she said firmly.

Twilight stifled a bought of laughter, and began to pour them both a fresh cup of tea. “So, about my old letter, do you really want to know who ‘she’ was, or were you just teasing me?” she asked, willingly pulling the conversation back on topic.

“A little of both,” Celestia admitted.

Twilight smirked, flashing an amused glance at her as she set the teapot back in its place. “It’s ancient history, really. I’m over it.”

“If it really isn’t important, than you don’t have to tell me,” Celestia advised her. “But, at the same time, if it isn’t important anymore, it shouldn’t be a problem for you to tell me.”

“Bit of a conundrum...” Twilight chuckled, swirling her tea with her magic and watching the sugarcube inside the dark tide spin and dissolve. “I guess I should, probably...” she began, but trailed off in contemplation.

A knock on the door made them pause in their conversation. Celestia’s ear flicked as the ‘all’s well’ code registered in her mind. “It seems we have a guest. Enter!”

The door opened and a green unicorn with a yellow-streaked mane walked stiffly into the room. He was young – almost as young as Twilight had been when she moved to Ponyville, and from his posture he was clearly out of his element. His eyes widened and darted between Celestia and Twilight. “Hoo boy..” he muttered under his breath, almost too low for Celestia to hear, before he bowed awkwardly.

“Y-your highness, I wasn’t expecting to meet you as well today,” he said nervously. “I was, um, just supposed to be dropping off a memo...”

Twilight stood up. “Ah, Peppermint, it’s so good to see you! Princess, allow me to introduce you two.” Beckoning to the new unicorn, she said, “This is Peppermint Yam-”

“Jam...” the stallion corrected her quietly.

Twilight flashed him a mortified and apologetic look. “I’m so sorry. This is Peppermint Jam, he’s a grad student assisting the team.” Celestia nodded in understanding. Knowing Twilight, he probably actually did research and information gathering rather than just fetch coffee. Twilight continued, beckoning to the alicorn. “And this, Peppermint, is my teacher, mentor and dear friend, Her Majesty Princess Celestia.”

Peppermint performed the standard reaction. He dropped right down onto the floor in petrified genuflection. “Rise, Peppermint,” Celestia said smoothly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“L-likewise,” he stuttered. Celestia could tell that he was looking not at her face but at a spot just above her crown and twelve degrees clockwise from her horn. Briefly, she wondered why it was that everypony she knew that was nervous in her presence always, without fail, seemed to look at that same exact spot.

“Peppermint, are you looking forward to our first test run today?” Twilight said, prompting him to speak.

He blinked vacantly, before snapping to attention. “Oh, um, yes! I am! Also, I just want to say again that it’s really an honour to be working with you, Miss Sparkle,” the green unicorn practically gushed. “Your thesis on the viability of magical resonance through harmonic factors such as interpersonal relationships is nothing short of revolutionary."

Twilight smiled self-consciously. “Oh, it wasn't all... that's a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it?"

“No way!” he protested. “Heck, it's opened up the applied arcane sciences to earth and pegasus ponies! I’ve got several friends in theoretical arcanics who are finally able to directly test their theories through Sparkle's Law. Everypony’s really excited about it.”

Celestia chuckled in the background as Twilight’s eyebrow rose sceptically. “Is... that what they're calling it? You know it's not actually a ‘law’, right?”

The unicorn chuckled self-consciously. “Well, ‘Twilight Sparkle’s Co-dependent Clause of Harmony’ is a bit of a mouthful in casual conversation...” He coughed into his hoof. “Right. Anyway, I apologize, I'm babbling. Um, regarding that memo, we're all set up and ready whenever you are in Laboratory One at the Academy. You can spend as long as you need examining the set-up, adjusting it as you see fit. If everything is in order, we'll begin the experiment as scheduled at four o clock."

An idea struck Celestia, and she smiled benevolently. “Thank you very much for your efforts, Peppermint. I take it you have high hopes for the experiment?”

“Um, yes, your majesty, very high hopes!” the unicorn squeaked, having trouble speaking when directly addressed by the princess – a rather common ailment among ponies, Celestia found.

“Well now, it sounds so exciting,” she said, bringing a hoof to her mouth to suppress a non-existent gasp of amazement. “I simply must attend as well.”

“That’s a great idea, Princess!” Twilight exclaimed, not noticing Peppermint’s pupils shrink in horror at the prospect. “I can finally show you the ethereal harmonics ritual matrix we’ve developed first-hoof, I know you’re going to love it, it’s the fruit of my studies to this point... Oh!” She snatched the scrap of parchment from the ground and scanned her eyes over the ancient formulae. “Maybe we could even improve it! You’ve given me plenty of ideas on how to make the system more energy-efficient...” Her voice trailed off into excited mumbles as she began to make more notations on the page.

Peppermint stared wide-eyed at her, at a loss for words. Celestia quietly lowered her head until her mouth was level with his ear and whispered, “Quite the sight, isn’t she?”

Peppermint jolted in shock. “I, no! I mean, yes, I, uh!” He covered his face with a hoof. “Oh jeez...”

Celestia decided to take mercy on the poor stallion. “I thank you for your concern, Peppermint, but really, you needn’t worry about offending me,” she said knowingly. “A thousand years as ruler of Equestria tends to give a lady rather thick skin. I appreciate it all the same, you are indeed a gentlecolt.”

“Y-yes your majesty, it’s just...”

“Is something bothering you, Peppermint?” Celestia asked, her face that of kindly concern.

The green unicorn bowed his head. “Sorry, it’s just... um, Lady Sparkle is, like, the pony everyone has their eye on in the Arcane Science community. I mean, look at her.” They shared a look at the mare in question, whose short note was now reaching its third page of excited scribbling. She was beginning to pick apart Celestia’s desk for more parchment.

Peppermint sighed. “That’s just some light notes to her, I bet, but if I were to present those as my thesis I’d be set for life. And plus, she’s the prin- I mean, she’s your protégé. That’s big, I know plenty of ponies who’d do anything to work with her. But I’m still just a grad student. Even though I’m not even qualified she accepted me and a bunch of other students’ applications to work with her. I dunno why she did it, but whatever the reason, this could make my career. I don’t want to flub it by offending either of you.”

Celestia smiled warmly. ‘Such a silly pony.’ “I have seen a great number of things and been called a great number of names in my lifetime,” she chided him lightly. “If you manage to offend me, I’ll consider it an accomplishment, alright?”

Peppermint stared with wide eyes for a moment. “O-okay,” he managed to force out, bowing his head respectfully. “Thank you, your majesty.”

Celestia nodded, acknowledging the thanks. “So, I shall be accompanying Twilight today during the experiments,” she said, bringing things back on topic. “I trust that’s all right?”

Twilight looked up, having only just now come back to reality with a stack of densely packed papers in her magical grip. “Oh! It’s alright if the princess attends, isn’t it?”

Peppermint’s expression was exactly that of a pony shoved suddenly out of the curtains and onto the stage, with a big, bright spotlight illuminating him for everyone to see. “W-why are you asking me?” he said to Twilight. “You’re the boss here.”

Twilight smiled. “I like to consult with the people I work with,” she said, and Celestia recognised her tone as her ‘lecture voice’. “An important part of being a good friend is listening to the opinions of others. Do you have any objections to the princess’ attendance?”

“Oh, of course not, of course not,” Peppermint said quickly. “I’ll just, ah, inform the rest of the team of our esteemed guest, will I?”

Celestia nodded in thanks. “That would be excellent, thank you.”

The stallion quickly swivelled on his own axis and rushed back towards out of the room, his legs trotting stiffly. Celestia shared a glance with the guard at her door, who broke his stoicism for a second to give a bemused shrug before shutting the chamber door once more.

"Looks like you have an admirer," the princess chuckled, nudging Twilight softly in the side with a hoof.

“Yes, everyone in the team seemed to be like that,” Twilight said, not seeing Celestia pout slightly as her teasing went right over the unicorn’s head. “Not everyone seemed to be quite as... starstruck as him, but still...”

Celestia frowned at the tone of her voice. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no! Nothing,” Twilight quickly assured her. "It’s just... I don't really get it. My thesis wasn't anything original, it was just stringing together existing theories into one. It wasn't new, anypony who studied the Elements of Harmony would have been able to figure it out."

"Twilight.” Celestia fixed her with a firm but kind look, one perfected over the years spent as Twilight’s teacher. “I studied the Elements of Harmony for lifetimes, and eventually I conceded defeat. You, on the other hoof, were able to track down an unrealized yet fundamental aspect of magic. Gravity was always there, but it took an apple falling on Ishock Newton for him to realise just how prevalent it was, did it not?”

"But that's because I had your lifetimes of research to build on,” Twilight insisted with a sigh. “Plus, for you the Elements were inert, and you didn't have access to the Element of Magic. The only reason you hadn't already written my thesis for me a dozen times over is because the theories of magic I supplemented my research with were mostly developed within the past four hundred years at the oldest, which is nearly half a millennium after the point where you ceased studies into the Elements.”

She shrugged and looked off to the side. “I’m not doing this for the fame, but even so... Let's be honest, Princess. I'm getting recognition for being in the right place at the right time rather than any real advancements I made.”

The alicorn closed her eyes and shook her head. “I respectfully disagree, Twilight,” she said, bringing her hoof up in an arched motion to demonstrate around them. “Look around you, do you see this room? Do you see the sky, the glass, the stone? ” Celestia firmly stomped her hoof on the ground, three times, to emphasize them. “They are all composed of the same basic building blocks that comprise the rest of the world. What is the difference between the air and water? When you get down to it, very little - both contain oxygen and hydrogen, but it is their interaction each other that defines how they affect us. Two hydrogen and one oxygen together give us water, but with the addition of one more oxygen molecule into the mix, we have air.”

“Rather volatile air...” Twilight mumbled.

Celestia allowed a small grin to grace her mouth for a second before nodding solemnly. “Indeed. This has always been so, a fundamental aspect of the universe that precedes even Luna and I, but it took many, many years for us to discover it, and even more to utilise it.” She lowered her head to be at the same level as Twilight, staring deep into her wavering purple eyes. “And I’ll remind you, dear, that it was not I who did either. It was ponies like you, who watched how the world behaved and learned from the ponies who came before them before eventually teasing out a little piece of the puzzle around them. Twilight, this is an achievement. Don’t ever question that.

“Besides.” Celestia closed the distance between them and nuzzled her clever pony’s cheek. “I daresay you're not finished yet.”

“I’m overreacting again, aren’t I?” Twilight chuckled, blushing at the touch. Celestia pulled back and gave her a knowing grin, prompting the unicorn’s laughter. “Thanks. Thanks for being there for me.”

“Always, Twilight,” Celestia promised lovingly, before rising to her full height. “Now, how about you introduce me to your research team?

Twilight giggled. “Okay, okay. It’s about time you met them anyway. Shall we?”

~{C}~

Celestia slowly drew herself out of the memory. After that point all she could recall was walking down some corridors with Twilight, some slight images of Spike greeting them in a courtyard, and then... not much. Some sensations – the gleam of polished copper, the wet heat of something boiling, the taste of watercress sandwiches... just scattered almost-memories of an idle peace.

Philomena, settled back onto her gilded perch, regarded her with a concerned a red eye. She crooned softly to get her master’s attention, and was calmed as Celestia regarded her with a smile.

Rather than get frustrated over what was lost, she relished what she had regained. Falling back into her plush pillows, she watched Philomena begin to doze and softly smiled to herself, thoughts on her protégé. ‘She still needs me.’ Her heart fluttered as if floating on air at the thought. It was a different kind of need than that of an acolyte training with a master, and Celestia relished it almost greedily.

Something else occurred to her – the memory of Twilight dismissing her achievements, juxtaposed with the image of a unicorn trailing flowers in her wake, searching for her own. ‘Of course,’ she thought to herself, connecting the dots. ‘That's what the dream meant! The fruit was simply the fruit of their research, the research was the pursuit of the flower unique to her, because all the other plants she grew merely represented her thesis, which she was unsatisfied with.’ She quietly laughed to herself again. ‘And she returned... because she wants me to be a part of it all. She still needs me.’

The dream rose to the forefront of her mind, bringing with it a surge of relief. ‘Reassuring her, running with her, guiding her out into the open plains...’ Celestia began to giggle at her own foolishness. ‘In summary, being her mentor.’ She had been getting so worked up over one interpretation of the dream, she had failed to so much as consider another possibility. It was obvious – her memories weren’t gone, they were just difficult to access. Her mind was obviously trying to help her remember, and the book on dreams had said that dream spells are guided by one’s subconscious.

‘Could the entire dream have simply been a metaphor for... yesterday?’ She frowned, the idea seemed unlikely. ‘No, no, it’s simpler. It was to do with Twilight. And I. And Luna.

‘It was my subconscious... my perception of them. Yes.’ She chewed on the inside of her cheek. She had been so frightened of the beast in the thorns, yet her heart had broken to see her hurt. ‘Is it shame I feel? Guilt? There’s a clue in that dream, I’m sure of it.’ Celestia resolved to get a book on dream magic as soon as she could.

There was a quick, rapid knock on her chamber’s door, which gave her pause. She didn’t recognise the pattern. She sat up in bed and locked her gaze firmly on the door; wings loose at her sides, ready to spring into action. However, her precautions proved unnecessary as another knock resounded, properly coded this time, followed by the muffled sound of embarrassed laughter. “Enter!” she called, curious.

The door opened, and for a moment Celestia was back inside the dream.

Twilight strode into the room, a smile on her face, and behind her were flowers, dozens and dozens of them, of all kinds and colours. They hovered around her in a rose-tinted haze of magic, flowing into the room in what seemed like a never-ending march, filling her chambers with their fragrance.

Celestia barely noticed them. They merely graced her peripherals as she stared at Twilight, her heart thudding in her chest. “My goodness...” she breathed. She could almost see the mare from her dream imposed on her protégé.

No. That was the paradox, wasn’t it? Celestia realised she was looking at the mare in her dream.

“They’re pretty, aren’t they?” Twilight asked, smiling proudly as she began to decorate the room with the flowers.

The spell on Celestia, though not broken, loosened somewhat. “Where did all these come from?” she asked, staring in wonder at the sheer number of them.

“They’re Get-Well-Soon bouquets from well wishers,” another voice said, and only now did Celestia notice several unicorn attendants had followed Twilight in, each bearing a sizable amount of flowers in their own magical grips. “They began arriving late last night, and simply haven’t stopped arriving. The Morning Hall is already full to the brim – we’ve started moving them to the ballroom.”

Celestia’s eyes widened in surprise. “It’s full? How many bouquets are there?”

“Probably one from every pony in Canterlot,” Twilight supplied.

The princess took a moment to wrap her head around that. How many ponies had she worried? Still, it warmed her heart that so many were concerned for her wellbeing. That being said, it presented a new problem. “We are long out of vases to put them in water, aren’t we?” she asked one of the servants.

She chuckled, brushing a pink lock of her mane behind her ear. “I’m afraid so, your majesty. But, it is about time for breakfast, so with your permission...”

“Of course, of course,” Celestia said with a laugh. “Be sure to tell everyone to help themselves. And if somepony can bring some of them around to the guards, they would greatly appreciate it.”

The servants bowed in thanks and left the room, closing the door behind them. Twilight was still darting around, trying to arrange the flowers in some order – probably by family, or possibly nutritional value. Celestia felt something tugging at the covers of her bed and looked to the side to see Spike clambering onto it, his arm looped in the handle of a basket full of gemstones. She gave him a smile and nudged a cushion in his direction. “Not going to help us eat all these flowers?” she asked, amused.

“Nah,” he replied, settling appreciatively down on the offered cushion. He snatched up a ruby from the basket, tossed it up and caught it mid-air with his tongue, snapping it into his mouth in a blink of an eye. “I fwah jush going to go to shleep,” he explained as he crunched the jewel. “Buf Twhiligfh shaid –” He paused and swallowed the gem. “Twilight said we should get breakfast first, then I could sleep. Were you worried about me?”

“A little,” Celestia said.

He scratched his ear-scales with a claw. “Why? You’re the one that got hurt.”

Celestia smiled. “Even with this bump on my head, I’m still the princess. It’s my duty to worry about my subjects’ happiness.”

“Who’s worried about who?” Twilight asked, just now joining the conversation. She climbed onto the bed as well and sat between the alicorn and the baby dragon, so that they formed a more or less equal triangle.

“Everyone’s worried about everyone!” Spike said. “Princess Celestia is worried about me, you’re worried about Princess Celestia, and I’m worried about you.”

Twilight’s eyes softened. “Aw, Spike. Why are worried about me?”

He regarded her with a stern, slit eye. “Because you’ve been acting weird...” he said, his hand reaching for another gemstone. “I dunno what’s going on with you lately.”

Twilight paled as Celestia looked over at her. “Oh?” the alicorn asked. “Are you alright?”

The unicorn laughed nervously. “It’s nothing, really. I’m just... I was a bit shaken yesterday, so now I’m just overreacting. As usual.” She stared down at her hooves and focused her attentions on the daffodil bouquet she had selected for herself.

Celestia smiled. She was such a sweet thing, to have worried about her so. She bit a few of the flowers from the bouquet that had found its way before her, and realised it was of poppies – her favourite. Warmth flowed into Celestia’s heart and she savoured it, savoured it along with the taste of the flowers on her tongue and the comforting presence of her dragon and her unicorn.

Circumstances considered, it wasn’t what she would have chosen. Regardless, she had to admit it was not so terrible, to have the attentions of a beautiful mare like Twilight.

The alicorn closed her eyes calmly. ‘Dangerous thoughts, Celestia.’

Still, there was no denying it. She had grown very beautiful. It wasn’t that she looked any different from before – she had grown a little taller, yes, but nothing game-changing, and her mane was cut the same as ever.

However, her every movement echoed her late nights of study, the life-or-death trials she had overcome, her simple joy accrued from the love of her friends... she wore her years as she wore her coat, at long last sure in her step. She didn’t need Celestia anymore. And yet, she still did.

Dream spells... the book said they didn’t force somepony to dream an image. With that in mind, a realisation began to dawn on Celestia. The Twilight she had seen in her dream... the novice, the magician, the pioneer... they were tinted reflections of her perception of Twilight, hoofprints in the sand of her time with the mare. They were, in a single glace, everything the alicorn knew of her, everything she... everything she felt for her.

‘And she was breathtaking...’ she finally confessed to herself. ‘All said and done, I can’t deny that so much of that dream was...’

Celestia opened her eyes and looked out of her window, admiring the play of light through the distant clouds. She could feel something changing, or perhaps she was realizing something had already changed. Today, her sister, Princess of the Moon, had guided the sun. This was a time of revolution, yet not of chaos. Harmony prevailed, though the song of the world seemed to be changing. That was fine – a thousand years of rule had let her see a great many changes in harmony, and she had learned to embrace them, to bask in the melody of change.

With that in mind, it no longer surprised Celestia that Twilight was at the centre of it all. She just hadn’t expected to have the prized seat beside her. She hadn’t expected to want it.

‘This is...’

Something different.

Nothing she needed to act upon, yet nothing she needed to deny either.

‘This is.’

Twilight’s voice drew her attention. “Celestia?” The princess slowly turned her head to see her unicorn surrounded by flowers and looking up at her with a concerned expression on her face. “I think you zoned out again. How do you feel?”

Celestia was still a moment, before smiling, leaning over to nuzzle the unicorn. “Absolutely perfect, my dear,” she murmured. “Absolutely perfect.”

~{C}~

Composure, chapter 4, end.

~{C}~

Comments

[kjaslwod]

Well, Eternal chapter 4 read - and now this shows up on the tracking list! I can't wait for chapter 5!

[The Incredible Werekitty]

Wow... This is a GREAT story!

[Diamond Sparkle]

This is a really wonderful story.I'd say more but my mind is sleepy at the moment.

[Mystic]

Varanus, you are magnificent. Just so amazing. I love this story so much and I cannot wait for chapter 5. Keep up the fantastic work!

[Comma-Kazie]

THIS is a chapter worth waiting for. Well done.

[Zerg]

*whistles* impressive chapter! Keep it up

[Manicjudgment]

After every chapter I read, I scroll back up to the top to rate it five... only to realize I already did.
Honestly, one of the best stories I've read. I can't wait to read more.

[Varanus]

137963
Why thank you. I’m a student of architecture, and while it saps my time away from poni, it does, on occasion, pay off here. Expect more nods towards the architecture of Canterlot in the future.

147330
Composure doesn’t have a villain.

[Entilliumn]

I'm just really sad that I had to stop reading on account of "Composure, chapter 4, end.".

I can't wait for chapter 5!

-Entilliumn

[Zerg]

So yeah, we cant give this a 10 star rating.... I am now sad. But hey at least there is faith that a normal celestia exist!

[Jiopaba]

Man... I've had this on my tracking list since the first chapter... wasn't until the author of Eternal admonished his readers to go read it that I finally got around to it.

I wish I had kept waiting until it was all there, even if it took months or years, because holy hell I feel like I'm dying inside to read that last line and see there's no button for the next chapter after this. Amazing story. I wonder if there's any other good Twilestia out there... most anything I've read with that pairing is just sort of comedy "Princess Molestia is rampaging again!" nonsense.

[Gwenio]

148696

There is "Much Ahoof About Nothing" by butterscotchsundae. The world needs more stories about Twilight and Celestia.

[FanNotANerd]

Hm...If the universe desires harmony, then why does the Second Law of Thermodynamics state that the entropy, or randomness of the universe increase with each change?

But I digress. Awesome, as usual. You've probably heard it all before, so I won't continue.

[Jiopaba]

148717

Hilariously, or sadly, I read that story in the intervening hours between me making that post and this one. I went "What's good Twilight/Celestia fic?" and ran into that.

I suppose for now I'll have to settle to looking into other interesting pairings. Twilight/Luna maybe? I've read a few good things along those lines. Ah well.

Looking forward to the next chapters in all my followed stories, and this one certainly stands out.

[Midnight Breeze]

This is why I stay up late. Beautiful writing. Everything feels spot on.

[Celestial]

Completely amazing so far. Your writing style is almost impeccable, and the scenes are poignant and well-developed. That, plus of course the dream scene, one of the most well-done I've read, great work! I'm completely stocked for next chapters.

[Dozy Dreamer]

Just epic.

[Arthtrott]

Working in four hours, having spent the weekend reading through all the outstanding works, that are the real gifts of joy, wraught by the works of new titans on their rise to glory. Chapters filled with endless passages overflowing with the poetry of the new generations of writers. TY Varanus. Epic.

[burgersteakcurry]

Enjoyed it. Ch3 kinda weird . The rest was pretty awesome.

[Twisted Visions]

This was considerably more entertaining then the last chapter ^.^ Good show

[Lunitaria]

This is delightfully warm and romantic. There are elements that are a bit odd, but both of them are unusual characters in their own ways.

[Anonymo]

I seriously love this story. I'm still wondering how the Luna thing will work out, the romance is great too.

[Midnight Flare]

I hate shipping yet i'm drawn to it. i can't wait till it's done

[Jykinturah]

I actually have a specific sadface whenever I check story updates on EqD and see no Composure.

This story is so good, I can't get enough.

[take flight]

*sigh*

Well paced, romantic, beautiful.

It's stories like these that keep me awake at night.

Looking forward to the next chapter, please come quickly

[Aretii]

This was lovely. Eagerly awaiting more.

[RainLight]

When will the next chapter be up?

[Twilicorn]

*beg* You must add the next chapter

[kjaslwod]

Plseae Upadet, becuaes I ma os patehtic!

[Kate_Bit]

This is such a wonderful story that I'm literally finding myself checking back every day to see if chapter 5 has dropped. will it be long? this is one of the few I have to really look forward to now that Allegrezza has finished

[Fallen Knight]

To be honest i already forgot details from this story and will have to reread all just to remember.

[BumNanner]

Can't wait for chapter 5!

[Imperius]

Tracking like the Fist of the North Star.

[Joseph Raszagal]

276288
An awfully good point you have there, kind sir, as I do remember that to be an almost painfully cute story . I think I shall take your advice .

[Joseph Raszagal]

i191.photobucket.com/albums/z292/fuphero/CuboneApproved.jpg

Seriously, this is the best fic I've ever read . I'm sad right now because there isn't yet a Chapter 5 for me immediately start reading .

[Gwenio]

278958

I think there was a link to an in-progress version of five in his blog / the comments for people to give feed back on.

[Joseph Raszagal]

278994
Yet again, you supply me with valuable information . Many thanks, many thanks indeed!

[Midnight Flare]

225851 Same here.

[Zanmatsuken]

I'm 2 chapters into this story and I am in love with it. Excellent writing and the tale you are weaving is that which everyone should indulge in. I am totally giving this every credit I can. A thumbs-up, favorite and a watch. However you do deserve more for what you have given to us all.

[psychoteddy87]

Now this.

This is how you write a story.

[RainLight]

Sorry if this question has already been asked but when will you update this story again?

[Thehorribleham]

Please update soon, I miss you

[Gwenio]

320191
321580

Check his blog. And then the comments for a preview of the inprogess chapter (which is availible so people can give feedback).

[Zompony]

Wow, I'm speechless... Rich vocabulary, gripping narration, and a fine line between bitter and sweet. This is one of the few fics, that managed to draw me in completely. You dear sir, get a fave, a track, and a big thank you for an awesome piece of fiction.

[Mazzyrazzy]

Your vocabulary leaves nothing to be desired. It makes me question the quality of my own work! Anyway, great story. The simple compliment doesn't give it justice, but I partly blame that on the overuse of the word "great". If great was used less often, it would lend some value to it. So let us pretend a moment that, in this instance, the word great is rarely used.

This story is great~

[Antor]

oh good Celestia, it's 5AM here, I was enraptured by this story, frankly one of the best I've ever read up until now, and it's still going! I think I will face the harsh morning wake up in two hours with bliss in my heart :D

[Cedric Bale]

344539
You could've tried to use a less used word, like stupendous, terrific, fantastic, remarkable, marvelous, incredible, or even monstrously outstanding. Bewilderingly exceptional, unimaginably astounding, staggeringly phenomenal, ludicrously impressive, incomprehensibly amazing, mind-blowingly awe inspiring, unfathomably awesome, SEN-SA-TIO-NAL.

th03.deviantart.net/fs70/150/i/2011/311/c/c/sapphire_shores_by_elbongo-d4feq5b.png

Okay, I'm done.

[Hecatia]

Is this dead?

[Gwenio]

360750

No. Read his blog, followed by the comments if you want a preview of the next chapter (availible for feedback).

[Mossflower]

this story is awesome, you are awesome!
every single chapter had me completely captivated, simply breathtaking!

360750>>362582
i would have asked this if they had not been the two latest posts, i suck at reading blogs and previous comments unless prompted to