• Member Since 9th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2014

confidentPrognosticator


I like to think of myself as optimistic. One half of Magical Maladies, along with Corona Silverflame!

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Source

Chrysalis and Cadance could not have been more different. But their fillies are both born at exactly the same time. When the fillies meet, who knows what will happen?


Please bear with me on this story.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 18 )

Wasn't the ratings or product that drew me in, but the name. Hooked me, man. Good work!

Sounds good, next Chapter please:twilightsmile:

Formatting is fundamental! It really hurts your story if someone has to reread a paragraph 3 times to figure out who is saying what. Beyond that, it's an interesting concept, even if it really feels like the plot to the lion king 2.

The idea intrigues me.
I do not like the wall of text conversation with Celestia, though.

Ahh... great idea, but the execution is messy and a bit rushed.

Interesting so far! I like it! *bark* :pinkiehappy:

Great story! Well you know I love anything with changelings.:twilightsheepish: I will be watching you.:rainbowderp: DO NOT LET ME DOWN!:flutterrage:1451590 Ooh! Both Princesses!

Thank you everypony for poniting out my mistakes. I will take them to heart on the next chapter.:pinkiesad2:

Edit from my last comment, which I deleted. :rainbowlaugh:

Chapter one, which is where I'm at. Well, wall of text. You should break (Press enter twice) when a new character speaks. Just a suggestion, but not ALL stories do so. A famous short story, "The secret life of Walter Mitty", didn't do so as far as my knowledge on some actual novels go. It can be a style of writing in itself, if done correctly.:twilightsmile: I think at one spot you misspelled "could". Couls she see the entire day? Yep, there it is.:derpytongue2:

Concept, I like. In all honesty, it's hard to write something I WON'T like. Don't get me wrong, it's been done before. (Basically all stories with NO grammar and COUNTLESS misspelled words. Formatting difficulties are accpetable.) I look forward to more of this story as well. Be as to so kind to let me know when you do update? I'd track, but my E-mail is filled up to the brink as it is with stuff like that.:twilightsheepish:

Rating so far, 5/10. Not bad, but needs a bit variety, description, and other things. Basically, could be better, but could be A LOT worse.:twilightsmile:

a few othe words. That other needs and r. :rainbowlaugh:

Word to the wise, ya might wanna change the pace of the story. It's... so fast paced... And I can't see very much reason behind anything or get an in depth feeling with the characters. Like I said, just a little fast paced in my opinion.

Again, breaks when different characters speak. No other grammatical errors, other than usual. No other misspelled words.

Concept. Still liking. Do continue.

Rating. Hasn't changed. 5/10.:derpytongue2:

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