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  • E Dinky's First Kill

    Like every little filly, Dinky loves everypony and everything... except spiders.
    3,649 words · 6,156 views  ·  538  ·  6
  • E Dance 'Til We're High

    Twilight looks for love at the Winter's Eve Ball. What she finds is like nothing she expected.
    12,494 words · 11,354 views  ·  778  ·  20
  • E Whisk

    A colt and his fathers move to Ponyville to start a new life.
    13,364 words · 1,912 views  ·  113  ·  1
  • T Epic Unicorn History: The Beards of Harmony

    Barely three years old, the fledgling nation of Equestria is threatened by chaos foretold in a dream. It's up to Star Swirl and five erstwhile, beardy stallions to brave the Forest Ever Free in search of their only salvation.
    30,755 words · 2,189 views  ·  228  ·  5
  • E A Lovely Apology

    Spitfire decides to make up for an embarrassing mistake by inviting Filthy Rich out for a night on the town.
    6,802 words · 1,816 views  ·  136  ·  2
  • E The Sun Shines Brightest at Night

    Nightmare Moon's defeat meant more to Equestria than just the return of the sun and their Princess. Witness the conclusion of a story one thousand years in the making, through the eyes of a Hoofington nurse.
    6,108 words · 932 views  ·  90  ·  1
  • T Laugh, Laugh

    Though she admired him, Pinkie Pie was never close to Ponyacci. She wasn't expecting him to call her to visit. She really wasn't expecting to find him like this...
    1,122 words · 646 views  ·  111  ·  2
  • E ACT OF WILL

    A mysterious machine shows up in Ponyville, and things quickly get out of hoof.
    3,001 words · 3,316 views  ·  154  ·  4

Blog Posts632

  • Tuesday
    Project Bookshelf finished!

    Yes, I'm done spamming people!

    Project Bookshelf (which is what I’m calling adding all those fics to my new Reviewed Shelf) has turned up some interesting things. Like just how long it took me to start bolding the titles of the reviews, and that that was after I put in the “HRCVN” tallies at the top. Also, my greatest conditional recommendation remains “Recommended for Sneeze Fetishists and People With High Degrees of Self-Loathing”, which came from Ethesto’s peachfic. (Of course, I fucked up My Little Rarity: Rarity Is Rarity by not rating it "Rarecommended".) Good times! :V

    God, I hope I got everything though. c.c Interestingly, going through the reviews led me to find a number of stories, mostly from contests, that had been deleted. I’ve struck-out the titles and removed the links for those, but the reviews will stay.

    ALSO! I ended up adding a bunch of story collections to the shelf because someone did a reading of one or two entries. Because I am OCD (for srs), I want to get all those chapters read, so expect to see a lot of stories from a LOT of the same names in the near future, especially Cold in Gardez, Benman and Esle Ynopemos. (I am not, however, doing the one with 316 thirty-minute stories. I’m sorry, no.)

    The upshot is, things will be better for me in the long run, because when I run into a story marked read and it doesn’t have that big red checkmark on top, I’ll know it’s time to reread it and review!

    Speaking of which, now I find myself wanting to go through various authors' galleries and finish up reading all their stuff. People like The Descendant and Pascoite, who I tend to follow but occasionally miss releases from, and who likely don't have more than a half-dozen stories I still need to read. The only author on the site who I've made a concerted effort to read all the fics of is Device Heretic (oh, well, and Goris the Deathclaw). So who would you want to see me do a featured author fic rec journal for? Note that if you say someone like RainbowBob, it'll just be one story per page. :B Also, it'd help if they had 5-10 fics in their gallery, to increase the chances that they have five stories I haven't read. Make suggestions in the comments! (No voting for yourself! :V)

    28 comments · 226 views
  • Monday
    Fic recs, October 20th

    Bad news first: Hero541 has hung up the fic-reading towel. :( And here I’d only just gotten into his channel!

    There's no good news. :B Well, not yet, I suppose.

    H: 1 R: 0 C: 5 V: 1 N: 1

    Wonderful by obabscribbler

    Reading by GutiuSerenade and GloryoftheRainWings

    I guess I’ll just comment on these guys quickly. The reading’s on Scribbler’s channel, but she’s not in it. Gutiu is a good narrator, and I’d go for more readings by him, but all he does is creepypastas, not ponyfic. And Rarity has all of one line, so I didn’t get a good feeling for Glory. (Actually, she plays a couple parts in the Truth Be Told radioplay, and she's quite good at them.) She seems to be more of a singer anyway. Okay then!

    Genre: Alternative Narrator

    One of Rarity’s mannequins has a few opinions on her. Y’know, length aside, this could’ve been a decent Outside Insight entry. Okay, maybe it’s not so much about ponies, but it has the same sort of setup. It’s pretty easy to tell who’s speaking after a bit (I thought it was Spike at first), and otherwise it’s a solid little vignette. I can think of one or two ways to expand on it, but for what it is, it’s a decent read. (And, I should note, the second entry of Scribbler’s Dancing on a Looking Glass that I’ve read. Interesting.)

    Recommened as Light Reading

    Dream by Cascadejackal

    Reading by Illya Leonov

    Genre: Big Ideas

    A clockmaker, feeling his hopes and dreams have left him, finds the strength to dream anew. This is a marvelous piece of prose, lyrical and flawless, fairy tale-like in the first part and philosophical in the second. It’s so dense and rich, I was shocked to find out how short it was after hearing the reading. It raises a lot of big questions, mostly about the pursuit of beauty, and has a naturally emotional end. Plus, it's got a clockwork pony. It’s pretty much a perfect story, and high-minded on top of that.

    Highly Recommended

    Twilight Eats Sonata’s Taco by Admiral Biscuit

    Genre: Silly

    It’s pretty obvious, once you click the link and discover a lack of a Sex tag, that this exists primarily to have a sex-joke title. I can get behind it, however, as the author mentions he hasn’t actually seen the movie and was going off the Wikipedia article, which explains why the plot doesn’t make a damned bit of sense. This spends a little too much time setting itself up, but I’ll say that if you like stupid comedies like this, the ending definitely pays off. If not, well, this is not high comedy and can be skipped. (Also, not enough Sonata.)

    Vaguely Recommended

    Quills and Sofas by Just Horsing Around

    Genre: Silly Comedy

    Twilight’s dad is visiting, helping her answer fanmail, when he learns of Ponyville’s local eccentric, quill supplier. What follows is Night Light goading Davenport in the most hilarious way possible while trying to get to the bottom of the mystery: why quills and sofas? (He never finds out, spoilers.) While this has the trappings of a crackfic — goofy premise, opening narration full of terrible puns — it really comes off as more of a classic comedy. Davenport knows a lot about weird things, Night Light is kind of a jerk (though I was amused at how well he handles the strange situations his children get into). They butt heads, the result is amusing. That said, I’ve read funnier, and I don’t think this is one I’ll remember for long. It’s still worth a quick read, though.

    Recommended for Laughs

    Let’s Find You a Date! by soundslikeponies

    Reading by Hero541

    Genre: Shipping

    After Rarity brings up the topic of Twilight’s love life, she decides to help Twilight figure out this whole ‘dating’ thing. But Twilight has her eyes set on one mare in particular. This story does a lot of things right, and a few major things, if not wrong, then not-right enough that I felt uncomfortable about them by the end. What I particularly liked was the first chapter’s exploration of sexuality. Twilight’s never considered it before, and though it’s resolved in the first few thousand words, the way they go about figuring out that she likes mares is natural. Not to mention, Rarity puts up with a lot for her sake, despite professing to be bi-curious at best, so she gets a Good Friend award. With that said, let’s talk about character. Rarity I had some qualms about, in regards to her romance-novel approach to dating and her seeming lack of social awareness, but that second part at least is recontextualized nicely in the final chapter. Twilight was a bit more problematic. I’m okay with the fact that she makes mistakes in the pursuit of something she doesn’t know anything about (honestly, if anyone makes an unreasonable mistake in this story, it’s Rarity for letting Twilight off on her own too early, though even that’s cleared up by the ending), but she acts altogether childish throughout a lot of this story. Granted, that didn’t include when she was acting adorable as hell, because this story has a lot of adorable moments, but she still seemed oddly petulant more often than not. The one character who really stands out is May Flower, an OC, a model who acts as something of a sexual antagonist for most of the story. Out of the three mares Twilight ends up entangled with in the course of this piece, May is the one who not only wants her, but knows how to get her. I think the only reason she doesn’t is that A) she had at least a few morals, and B) she’s charmed somewhat by Twilight’s naivete. On that note, Carrot Top. I felt SO BAD for this girl. It’s obvious from the moment Twilight first talks to her that she’s even more naive than Twilight, and the fact that the story makes no bones about being a Twility vehicle makes this revelation even harder to stomach. I was waiting and waiting for Twilight to give up on Rarity and realize she had something good going on with Carrot, but I’m sorry to say it never happens. There’s what I want as a reader and what the story needs narratively, but all distaste for using a pony to get two others together aside, darned if I can’t really figure out what this was about. There’s a passing-of-the-torch thing going on with Twilight and Carrot’s relationship at the end, from what she and Rarity do at the beginning, but that’s about it, and it’s a bittersweet end for CT regardless. Overall, no one who’s not interested in shipping is going to want to read this, and even if you are, well, be warned, you need to be going in with the right expectations.

    Recommended for Shippers Only

    Peachocalypse Now by Justice4243

    Genre: Peachfic

    This one slipped through my peachfic-finding attempts, so I thought I’d remedy the oversight. The Peachening is upon us and everypony has gone insane, except Pinkie Pie and Spike. This is about as silly as you’d expect, though I like that Pinkie ends up being the straight man. The story doesn’t appear to have been proofread and the ending doesn’t really work, but I have to say, this is the rare story that would have been improved by the addition of more references. This is totally a Wickerman scenario and I was on the edge of my seat waiting for Pinkie to shout, “No, not the peaches! Ahh, they’re in my eyes! My eyes!” (Though there is one pretty phenomenal reference joke in this that more or less makes up for the lack of Nicolas Cage.) In all, it’s a pretty fun crackfic, if you like that kind of thing!

    Recommended If You Like Silly Things

    Twilight’s Play by Twi-Guy

    Reading by Akash the Reader

    Genre: Comedy

    Twilight’s stuck inside without anything to do because reasons, so she gathers up some books and brings them to life. I am thoroughly baffled as to what the point of this story was. The comedy is not terribly strong and is almost entirely centered around some very poorly-titled books (they’re not even puns, just synonyms for actual titles; I mean, “Hook-22”? That doesn’t even make sense!) coming to life and acting like pastiches of their plots: Jurassic Park talks about chaos theory, Fahrenheit 451 is a pyromaniac, The Shining is homicidal. In all, it suggests little more than a passing understanding of any of the books featured. The only one I found actually funny was the untitled self-help book, which seems in need of a dose of its own medicine. More comedic inversions like that might have helped this along. Oh, and this is the punchline, verbatim. Lastly, looking at the text, it’s pretty poorly written. You can safely pass this one up.

    Not Recommended

    Lone Princess by InkRose

    Reading by DrWolf001

    Genre: Psychological

    A lone princess, trapped in an empty world, sees snatches of what she truly desires. This is a strange case, because the reading linked above only covers first part; there isn’t another, yet the story is two chapters and an epilogue. And unfortunately, while the first chapter is pretty great on its own, the other two don’t add anything to it. The second chapter is just a rehash of the first, and the epilogue puts a needless period on the end of everything. But let me talk about that first chapter for a moment. It does a really great job of showing what’s going on. At first, it seems like this might be after some apocalypse causes the sun to go out, given all the ice on everything. Then, it seems like it might be Luna trapped on the moon. The actual answer is a lot cleverer, and it ends up being a great character study of Luna, in the way that the second chapter is not particularly enlightening about Celestia. Also, given the timeframe of when it takes place, the ending is beautifully tragic. It does suffer a bit from word choice issues, weak words keeping the prose from being as evocative as it could be. But if you like Luna, and you want to see a Sad Luna piece that actually works, do check out the first part of this. The rest you can take or leave.

    Recommended for the First Chapter

    25 comments · 280 views
  • Sunday
    Into Filly Funtasia?

    It seems to be making a comeback after all! :D Well, I discovered that execrable IP two years ago, bought two of the toys, hated them, and vowed to write horrible crossover fanfiction to showcase their terribleness for all the fandom to see.

    That... never really happened.

    So, today, you can see the first, and only, two chapters of "The Brony Princess" in my speedfic collection. There will never be any more (I include notes about what would have happened had I continued the story, at least). Get it now, while supplies last!

    And don't buy any Filly Princess toys, for srs. D:

    3 comments · 98 views
  • Sunday
    Bookshelf shenanigans, and important fic rec updates!

    I at last decided to make an Incompletes Bookshelf to differentiate from my RIL. This way, I can check it every week, or even once a month, for new completes to add to RIL and not have to worry about what’s on it not being complete. The final counts are 2982 RIL, 1032 Incomplete, and 19 Tracking. Tracking I use for incompletes I want to read the moment they’re done. Go ahead and check out that link to the shelf above; if you see one of your stories on there that you haven’t worked on in a while, maybe it’ll give you a kick in the butt to keep going! :V

    So, after going through all four-fucking-thousand stories on my RIL, I said to myself, “Hey, now those 1400 stories you reviewed don’t seem so bad, huh?” So yes, I’ve also made a Reviewed shelf, which is public. This means lots of spamming folks, but the important thing is, people will know I reviewed their stuff. I’ve changed up my userpage to reflect this, so that anyone coming looking will (hopefully) know what to do. (The upshot, though, is that apparently the new bookshelf system is set up to prevent said spamming, and I can't do them all at once. Tune in for more spam tomorrow!)

    I also ended up finding some interesting stuff in the older journals!

    Laugh as I whine about having 100 whole stories on my RIL. :V

    I actually rec’d The Descendant’s A Cup of Joe. It is Highly Recommended, for the record. This is good, because it was on my “Old Favorites” list to re-review, and I don’t want to read it again because I will cry. ;_; Going back through all my old journals, not just the ones that sound like fic recs, has also made me realize I never reviewed Silent Ponyville, so I’m gonna do that sometime, as it’s a pretty popular fic.

    Ah, Blueshift’s The Last Stand of King Sombra will now be Recommended. It was p. hilar. Martial Bliss by Skywriter is also Recommended. It was also hilar.

    It should really get its own journal, but I mentioned it here already: Pipsqueak the Valiant’s Adventure Journal by Casca is one of my all-time favorite stories, an imaginative piece written from Pipsqueak’s POV as he’s dragged off on a quest to find his ship’s captain father… by Mayor Mare. It won whatever writeoff it was part of, and I put the reason squarely on the perfect child’s voice Casca crafted. It doesn’t go anywhere you’d expect, and the reason I never gave it a proper writeup is that, well, I didn’t realize it was marked complete until now. :B It is Highly Recommended.

    Ah, here’s a good one! My journal talking about fiendofthet’s story Fallout Equestria: Lesbians was apparently removed in the big NSFW journal purge. (Which is weird, because I can still see it in the listings.) Here’s the original text, since I went ahead and deleted the blog on my end, as no one can read it now:

    If you haven't, I highly recommend reading Fallout Equestria: Lesbians. It's quite short, and hilariously brilliant. It reminds me of what I was trying to do with My Full-Sized Goddess Horse. :D There's even an "Applejack is a background pony" joke!

    Even though the words “highly recommended” show up in there, I’m going to officially call this Recommended If You Like Mocking FoE, because if you don’t, and you're not at least somewhat familiar with the original, you’re not gonna get anything out of it. It’s still officially my favorite FoE sidefic, though. :V

    Ooh, and not to end on a sour note, but it looks like I almost gave up fic recs before I started. The journal immediately following that one was the very first "official" recommendations blog, however. (My first structured review was actually the vs. Rainbow Factory blog, solely because I used the 5-point rating system.) And now look how far we've come. :D

    So I'm calling it: THE SPREADSHEET IS FINISHED. EVERYTHING PRE-2014 IS RECORDED. THAT’S IT, NO MORE GOING BACK TO SEARCH FOR THINGS. Yeesh. Here's to being organized! :twilightsheepish:

    15 comments · 161 views
  • Saturday
    Present Perfect vs. G2

    20 comments · 169 views
  • ...
 110
 4,677

Rainbow Dash doesn't like ponies touching her hooves.

What other things does she not like? Read to find out!

Published on Equestria Daily October 18, 2012.

First Published
10th Oct 2012
Last Modified
18th Feb 2013
#1 · 106w, 20h ago · · · Touch ·

Oonklas?

Oh, Present, you so silly.

Goddammit, why don't I have the balls to write a completely ridiculous fic?

PresentPerfect
Site Blogger
#2 · 106w, 11h ago · · · Best ·

>>1415503

In the words of Johnniepear, you just hafta stop givin' two shits. :V Sheeit.

#3 · 106w, 6h ago · · · Touch ·

:facehoof:

#5 · 106w, 6h ago · · · Share ·

GLORIOUS!

#6 · 106w, 5h ago · · · Pony ·

Dat ending.

#8 · 106w, 5h ago · · · Best ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#10 · 106w, 5h ago · 1 · · Best ·

You are the best person to have ever lived.

#11 · 106w, 5h ago · 1 · · Best ·

Dash doesn't like it when Pinkie not giving her makeouts

#12 · 106w, 5h ago · 6 · · Share ·

Bath Salts

No, Twilight! No! Those can cause dementia, kidney failure, hallucinations-

From out of the foamy depths a head emerged.  Multicolored hair lay plastered to the face of a sky blue pony wearing goggles and a snorkel.

It's too late ...

:fluttershysad:

#13 · 106w, 5h ago · · · Pony ·

I don't understand...

Is it a reference to FLCL? How they used the word "furi-kuri" to replace more intimate words?

Heck if I know. This whole story is strange.

EDIT: Never mind. Found the source. *Facepalm*

#14 · 106w, 5h ago · · · Best ·

:rainbowlaugh: wonderful. Thank you very much for that.

#16 · 106w, 4h ago · · · Touch ·

Poor TT! He's been fan-modded into a completely different pony! :rainbowlaugh:

#17 · 106w, 3h ago · 1 · 1 · Pony ·

This is

The best fic

Present thank you for this

#18 · 106w, 3h ago · 1 · · Sad ·

PRESENT

OMFG

#19 · 106w, 3h ago · · · Best ·

Mare do well?  don't you mean that newspaper episode?

#20 · 106w, 3h ago · 1 · · Share ·

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWY6rkd2MAc Someone is a fan of SimGretina. :heart:

#21 · 106w, 3h ago · 1 · · Share ·

Has Twilight been listening to too much Sim Gretina?

#22 · 106w, 3h ago · 1 · · Share ·

Sooooo, Sim:pinkiehappy:

Isn't that just a pleasant surprise:twilightsmile:

#23 · 106w, 3h ago · · · Best ·

>  The joke in part 2 is based off the song Magic by Sim Gretina.

Oh. Well then.

#24 · 106w, 43m ago · · · Touch ·
#25 · 106w, 37m ago · 2 · · Share ·

Oh Celestia.

Rainbow Dash has been hanging out with Pinkie Pie for far too long.

Also:

#26 · 106w, 28m ago · 1 · · Pony ·

But, Rainbow Dash, pony should pony pony!

And, damn, your story is so awesome it's driving me to posting YouTube videos every chapter!

#28 · 106w, 17m ago · · · Twenty ·

:rainbowderp:

#29 · 106w, 11m ago · · · Best ·

Rainbow Dash is best pony.

And this story is awesome! :rainbowlaugh:

But, the hooves line wasn't from Mare-Do-Well, it was from Ponyville Confidential.

PresentPerfect
Site Blogger
#30 · 106w, 2m ago · · · Best ·

>>1417944

You are the best commenter what left a comment on my story! :D

>>1417952

this troo

>>1418380

>>1419513

Oh, wait, shit, you're right. D: Changing!

>>1418403

>>1418404

>>1418453

>>1419366

Best brony song 2012.

>>1419336

Why would I want to fix it? :V

#31 · 105w, 6d ago · 1 · · Best ·

>>1419550 Seriously, the lulz in this story surpassed much of the things i've read here, excluding anything by Theonly or me.:rainbowwild:

#32 · 105w, 6d ago · · · Best ·

>>1419550 Ignore what I said. :facehoof: At the time, it didn't make sense to me, but then I read the rest of the story. Now it makes perfect sense. And now the line is also leaving me laughing hysterically, so, please, keep it..

#33 · 105w, 6d ago · 1 · · Best ·

What was this story, I don't even.

PresentPerfect
Site Blogger
#34 · 105w, 6d ago · · · Best ·

>>1419619

huzzah :V

Yeah, most people don't realize that I know what I'm doing and everything will generally be explained by the end of a fic. ;)

#35 · 105w, 3d ago · · · Best ·

The fuck was this.

Seriously. I'm all for random humor, but I didn't so much as crack a smile from this. This has one joke and it beats it into the ground.

Sorry, PP. This one's not for me.

PresentPerfect
Site Blogger
#36 · 105w, 3d ago · · · Best ·

>>1438586

No worries, it's precisely what I wanted it to be. :B

PresentPerfect
Site Blogger
#37 · 105w, 11h ago · · · Best ·

>>1438586

hurrdurp, late response SHOULD I TAKE THAT AS A MOON

#38 · 105w, 8h ago · · · Best ·

>>1455391

NO BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS

PresentPerfect
Site Blogger
#39 · 104w, 6d ago · · · Best ·

>>1455873

OBVIOUSLY IT IS OPPOSITE DAY AND YOU MEAN EVERYONE ELSE IS AWESOME

WAIT THEN THAT IS A MOON :(

#40 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Best ·

It got EQD'd'd'd'd:rainbowderp:

>Rainbow doesn't like when EQD

#41 · 104w, 5d ago · 1 · · Best ·

That was probably one of the dumbest things I've read

...And it was hilarious. Congrats on EqD!

#42 · 104w, 5d ago · 1 · · Pony ·

I don't even

#43 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Best ·

this story distresses me because no sense

#44 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Sad ·

suddenly, clop

#45 · 104w, 5d ago · 1 · · Best ·

I don't know why I favorited this.

I don't know what I just read.

I don't know where I am.

PP what have you done.

#46 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Best ·

>>1417944 :rainbowdetermined2:don't like it when he is bebst person

#47 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Sad ·

Bail. FUCKING BAIL.:twilightoops:

#48 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Best ·

My dear sir, my answer has been, and will be, always...

#49 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Best ·
#50 · 104w, 5d ago · · · Pony ·

...what? Lol

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