Anyone is welcome to edit or make any revisions they see necessary. It would much be appreciated.

I can't wait to see what happens!!!! Great story!!

Wall of text is bad. Try to avoid that.

Right, after reading the story I can say this. You need to destroy the wall of text and make this longer. It's just too fast at the moment. Other then that good idea and well written so far. Good luck.

>>14081131408113

Thank you. I will work on the error, but can you explain it to me? Thank you and yes, it does seem a teensy bit fast.

>>14081401408140

Wall of text: A giant mother-bucking wall of text that makes you go *groan* and hard to read. Breaking it up into smaller paragraphs so it's easier on our eyes and makes dummies go: "Oh wow! It's so short and easy to read! I must RRREEEAAADDD!!"

I never was good at explaining...

Don't give up hope!

Life's like a jump rope!

Up! Down! Up! Down!

(It's stuck in my head...)

>>14081641408164

Haha. It's fine. I liked the way you explained it.

Oh snap! Windago's! I just guessed the entire plot! sorry,

>>14082151408215

Nuh uh. It's not that simple. Sorry

Starts with "My first fanfic..."

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/154/912/berneydidnotread.gif?1318992465

When will you learn to not do that, FIMfiction?

>>14085721408572

When people don't have to ask for the help of others which is what humanity should be doing anyway. That's what I'm doing.

>>14087121408712

Hmmm. I do feel kind of bad for posting such a pointless comment, though. I'll see if I can read this tomorrow and get back to the author with a detailed review; it's 1:30 AM right now.

Still a funny gif though.

>>14087421408742

Touche. All is forgiven.

>>14074761407476

Is it okay if I copy this into a Gdoc to make edits there? I'll leave the story intact so you can compare versions, but would like to use Google Docs' notification system. If that's all fine, I'll have a review ready about half a day from now.

this is pretty good, a bit fast but pretty good,

from 1 new author to another, this story gets my approval

I must admit, there have been times during the local heat waves that I wished I'd had a machine like this.  (And yes, Celestia would be pissed.)

>>14087421408742

Hehe.  That's why the review note I sent the author also covered the description ;)  The way I figure it, part of writing of successful fic is writing a good description, since that is key to getting people to giving your fic a chance instead of going on to one of the plethora of other choices they have.

>>14087731408773

Of course. I would be delighted. Whatever would make this a better fanfic.

Well that was interesting. Now when is it going to be about Fluttershy? I'm a bit confused.

>>14167301416730

Ha. It's about everyone, silly.

>>14167671416767

Wait, now I've confused myself.. Dammit. Plus you have yet to help me with le ideas.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Hv97aaRGr3rQdG3AeftdXZNVbyoVL19O1lcmXaXZJXk/edit

You remember right?

>>14167751416775

Yep. Let me get to that.

>>14167751416775

If I'm slow, I'm sorry. I'm doing this on kindle.

>>14167901416790

Kindle? Man, living in New Zealand I'm missing a lot.

I have no idea what that is.

>>14168231416823

It's a tablet. Like the iPad.

>>14173021417302

Ahh. I know what that is. MAKE AN  GOOGLE ACCOUNT ALREADY!!! I have began to write the story now and I really want your ideas.

I have one but how do I submit my ideas? Sorry.  Never used before.

A few typos here and there, but it's actually very nice. My only gripe is the speed at which it's going. Yo could have described a bit more, so we would know how much the ponies were suffering under the blazing ANGER OF KHO-heat of the sun. .

>>14177401417740

Working on slowly fixing errors while adding a bit more.

Just a quick question, is the story Windigo related or is the cover pic just the cover pic because it looks cool?

>>14180491418049

In a way, it's related. You'll see.

>>14180541418054

Then ill put it on my read later and read it later. Hope it will be interesting.

>>14180771418077

Dawww. Then I will try mt hardest not to disappoint

>>14173201417320

You gives me account name or email then I can add you. Oh, and when you are on doc even without account you can chat by pressing the button at the top left that says: 2 other viewers/ 1 other viewer

>>14191371419137

Oh... Yeah. I made a random account with a ghetto hick name to be funny.

>>14192831419283

...