What would be cool is if.... there was an army of humans that came out of secrecy and started fighting.

>>14078771407877 Indeed that would be neat. Unfortunately I've made everypony human for simplicity sake. Other stories will probably be ponyfied.

THE WALL OF TEEEEEEXXXXXXTTTTTTT!!!!! IT'S SO EVIL!

Looks good. I'll keep reading.

FULL OUT WAR! WOO! I tried that and it became the most disliked story on this website. Le sigh

Wait, everyone is human? Huh. Still, the way Spelly told Dash about discord was to casual. Have him mention something about it and then Dash poke at him about it. He then gets fed up and says it. Other wise all good so far.

You get a mustache.

>>14080091408009 hehehe sorry about that. I'm not experienced in writing before as i said. This is just an idea i had after reading The New Lunar Republic by Moxipony and Sabotage Valkyrie on deviantart. I hope you enjoy future chapters.

>>14080351408035 WOOO Mustache. I'll edit that later. I do agree that my OC was a bit to open about it. I kinda rushed this chapter.

Edited now.

I like it!

>>14084591408459 Why thank you. I'm surprised. 3 dislikes already. makes me sad. Not good omens i think

>>14084851408485

Don't worry my first story had 4 dislikes and 3 likes at one time, but now I have 5 likes. If you like writing you won't let stupid dislikes in the way, they can have their opinion, just focus on the likes.

>>14081811408181

Well done! Much better.

Mmm...constructive criticism...I'm bad at that Um, I suppose it's not too bad for a first fic, but usually what wins people over is the idea behind it. Look at some of the leading stories on fimfiction right now: Private study lessons, Dark side of the moon, Twilight discovers Wikipedia. What do they all have in common? They're unique. In other words, what's the gig of your fic? What's it about? How many people have wrote fics about those things? Probably just one each, the creators, and "New Lunar Republic" fics are just about a dime a dozen, and are second only to "Human in Equestria fics" in frequency. Guilty as charged, my first fic was a HiE fic, and my next one WAS gonna be about how Fluttershy turned out to be the Dovahkiin of Equestria until I saw how many times that fic had been written. Half of what makes up a great fic is the IDEA and how unique it is, and the other half is the person's writing skill. As writing goes, I'd say it's better than how the average brony starts out when they start writing, although I'd say one of your biggest things is that you have big hot chunks of paragraphs floating around (Ironic how I'm writing a big paragraph and I'm too lazy to space it ). A lot of people will take one look at these paragraphs and just move on because it just looks noobish...no offense of course. Really, as first fics go, this one is pretty good...if you start a new fic, DEFINITELY come up with a creative idea/plot, and search the idea on fimfiction to make sure no one else wrote about it (If like 1 or 2 minor fics are about the same topic, it's not a big deal). Other than that and the paragraph thing...I think it's alright Have a mustache

Sorry if I was a bit mean in this...in order for me to give good, honest constructive criticism I have to turn off my Fluttershyness and hit people with a blunt stick of observations Feel free to ask me if you need help with any of this, though I'm not amazing at writing either

Any Advice on how to go with the Rarity approach. I have a general idea for the rest i can build on but dont really have anything for her.

Just to clarify. Avian's are pegasi, and seers are unicorns.

This is great! He's a bit OP but who cares? It's well written! Good job so far!

...and I still can't get over that profile pic.

>>14092981409298 Thank you for the advice. When i'm done with this i'll be writing about spell bound during peaceful times. and in a world where they are ponies and no war.

Damn. My wifi is out so I can't Upload the next chapter. Well I guess it means i can get the next couple of chapters done.

SO MANY MISTAKES!!! Just a few grammar fixes and it'll be all good.

You should change the title to "Everyone loves Spell Bound".

>>14241581424158 care to illiustrate these mistakes so i may correct them?

>>14272631427263

That means reading it again.

I never read things twice. I might tomorrow though. It will give me something to do.

Need to make a few i's into Ah's and other AJ speech pattens need to be thought over. AJ is the most difficult voice to write for so don't feel bad about not getting her speech right just yet.

Otherwise another great chapter. How you write these so fast and help me is amazing! You must have a clone or something you made from Chaos.

>>14288701428870 I have a lot of free time, my own net book and an over-active imagination. As you can guess these things help. Plus I'm just that awesome.

>>14290431429043

I have my own net book, my head is a movie, and it's the freaken holidays. AND I STILL CAN'T MAKE AS MUCH SHIT AS YOU??  

Also, proof reading story now. Will be posting it soon.

>>14290971429097 I type quickly ^^ and i guess i should start planning the day of red sky then.....

Two more? Huh. Things are looking chaotic. Wait, who's left to do flash backs? Hmm, Oh. Rarity and Spell himself. Man I'm good.

>>14534461453446 Almost correct. Rarity yes. But cotton needle is that last flash back.

>>14548681454868

...who?

>>14548741454874 A friends OC. Her story ties in with mine so i put her in here.

>>14550121455012

Oh, ok.

>>14092981409298 Hey. Do you have any idea what to do with Rarity. I mean chapter 6 will be easy as it's just another flash back chapter, but once i get to the present i could use some idea's

sorry to hear that, but this story is amazing and you are doing a great job.

>>14981171498117 Thank you. And I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Soon an actually plot will come into play. And many subtle hints towards my next project.

So THAT'S why you came to my country and pissed off the locals... Emotions, they kill people.

>>14986741498674 No one's died yet. Just walking talking tables

>>14986931498693

Not YET. Remember i told you about a part you had to write...

>>15017611501761 Oooh yay. Is it flame?

>>15029581502958

No. Just about 300 randoms who are in the wrong place at the wrong time...

>>15030281503028  Good enough

Lol. About time you got to the present. Now the real fun begins...

When's next Chapter?

>>23462482346248 not sure. Haven't actually started writing it yet