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  • E Succession

    Celestia wants a quiet evening in. Shining Armour wants a word with her. These two things are, unfortunately, incompatible. Because Shining Armour's words are all about his little sister, and her place in the monarchy.
    5,039 words · 2,220 views  ·  215  ·  9
  • E The Battleship Ponytemkin

    A crew of OCs hijack a battleship, warranting decisive action from Canterlot
    35,305 words · 440 views  ·  27  ·  0
  • E The Mare With No Story And Other Promising Tales

    Folk Tales, only ponified.
    25,615 words · 392 views  ·  18  ·  0
  • T Vinyl and I

    In Canterlot, there is the district of Canterwell. In Canterwell, there is a flat. In that flat live Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. This is a day in their lives.
    5,752 words · 225 views  ·  16  ·  0

Blog Posts7

  • 68w, 2d
    Thought for the day

    Fanon never dies. It just becomes AU.

    5 comments · 118 views
  • 80w, 3d
    Equestria Girls=Bioshock Infinite

    In lieu of facts, we must speculate, and speculation is one of the things this fandom does best. That's not to say it's good, since it leads to all sorts of raised expectations, ruined headcanons and so on and so forth. With that in mind though, let me explain why Equestria Girls is working on Bioshock Infinite logic.

    So here's how it's gonna go down. Twilight is pursuing someone into an alternate world. Now, passing through into an alternate world in Bioshock Infinite logic requires manipulation of time and space ("That would be a blessing, wouldn't it?"), which Twilight undoubtedly can do. She's explicitly changed history, gone back in time and can change objects' appearances. So she's the one opening the tears and going through.

    Now, here's the important thing. She remembers being a pony and all that malarkey, but her friends in universe B, or the "Humaniverse", don't. Why?

    Because, put simply, Twilight doesn't exist in universe B. No one knows who she is, meaning she has to make friends with her old friends anew. Her friends meanwhile all slip into the versions of themselves in universe B, accept their memories and manufacture new ones to iron out inconsistencies, but since Twilight doesn't have a pair of shoes to slip into, she makes her own. Booker DeWitt has no trouble slipping into universes where he's already dead, remember.

    What does all this mean for Equestria Girls? Well, nothing, for now. Until we see it, we won't know for sure what logic it's operating on, but all the same, I'll hope for nosebleeds, incongruities, static hazes, somepony not rowing, and half a dozen fabulously broken character builds.

    0 comments · 128 views
  • 81w, 2d
    Whoda thought...?

    When they first saw the concept of bronydom, who had as their first thought 'yep, that sounds like the kind of thing I would get involved with' and then proceed to get involved with it? I don't know if that would be a reasonable line of thought.

    1 comments · 63 views
  • 85w, 6d
    Twialicorn?

    We can't be having with that. We already figured all this out about eight times over. We already ran the simulations (so to speak).

    It is odd how many people called it, though. I mean, I didn't give it a thought until season 3, but apparently it was a thing long before. Which is, y'know, odd.

    0 comments · 94 views
  • 93w, 5d
    Instructions in case of emergency

    The large storm known as Old Thunderhead is moving south. It is the duty of every Equestrian citizen to be fully prepared for his arrival. Already, Emergency Weather Divisions are assembling to deal with this imminent threat, and all preparations are being made by Her Majesty and her government to ensure damage is minimised. You can assist these preparations in the following ways:

    - Remove old or dead trees from public areas. In storm conditions, they may break or collapse, causing damage to ponies and property.

    - Stone and brick buildings should be reinforced with girders (available through Royal Engineering Corp depots) to ensure they remain safe and stable.

    - Window panes should be removed or boarded over (preferably both) to reduce the risk of flying glass. Shutters will not suffice in this capacity. Plywood boards can be obtained from any Royal Engineering Corp depot.

    - Carts, wagons and other vehicles should be secured or moved inside to prevent damage to them and reduce the risk of them becoming an airborne hazard.

    - If your place of residence is not within four minutes walk of a civic shelter, prepare a basement or outdoor bunker (see attached pamphlet).

    - Maintain an optimistic outlook. All preparations which could reasonably be made are being made, and undue worry in the circumstances is counterproductive.


    When the storm arrives, follow these directions to ensure the safety of yourself and loved ones.

    1. Upon hearing the storm siren, make your way immediately towards the nearest civic shelter. Do not stop to secure personal belongings, but do ensure insofar as you can that everypony who should go to your nearest shelter does

    2. Once inside the civic shelter, take the register, which can be found hanging up beside the door. Ensure that all ponies on the register are present in the shelter.

    3. Shut doors immediately upon hearing the second storm alarm, even if not all ponies on the register are present. The safety of those inside the shelter is paramount.

    If you are unable to reach a civic shelter in time, take refuge in a basement or private bunker. If possible, take food and water down with you. but do not stay above ground after the second storm siren. If a basement or private bunker are unavailable, take shelter in stone or brick buildings. In this case, try to stay in rooms without windows.

    Do not take shelter inside wooden or half-timber buildings, as they WILL collapse under storm conditions.

    If you are caught outside, unable to reach a civic shelter, personal bunker or a stone or brick building before the second storm siren sounds, do not panic. Make for heavier cover. A rocky outcrop, a hollow or depression not below the level of a river or stream or being used for drainage or irrigation, any will do in an emergency. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to outrun the storm. You will merely be caught in the open.

    Remain calm until the storm passes and the all-clear sounds. Medical personnel and members of the Royal Engineering Corp will be on hand to provide relief and assistance to those in need. It is possible that some ponies may die. Statistically, it is not likely to be you.

    3 comments · 127 views
  • ...
 77
 1,985

Tall Tales didn't intend to be in Ponyville for long. It was supposed to be a brief stop on the way to the storytellers' gathering in Connemara, and nothing more. How was he to know he'd be offered the opportunity to show southerners real storytelling? More to the point, how was he supposed to refuse? And just what does this pink pony want with him, anyway?

Now he's shanghaied himself into performing, and must use all his skill to stay on stage, on target, and within the bounds of sanity. So gather round, pull up a bollard, and listen to some proper Equestrian folk tales.

Or watch one stallion go slowly mad in public. Either way, you're in for a treat.

First Published
8th Oct 2012
Last Modified
9th Oct 2012

Thanks go to The Descendant and Cloud Wander for their help in checking this story over. I'm forever in their debts.

All the stories told herein are at least based on traditional stories, some more rigidly than others.

I think you may have accidentally turned on underscoring in the second half of this chapter.

EDIT:  Wait now I am doing it how strange...

I also really enjoyed the story (and stories held within) though after finding out that this is using the Pinkie is a gypsy sort of background I would have loved to delve more into that though it is not necessary for the story.

Tell it in two parts? lol

>>1406363

Ahah, I knew there was something I'd missed...

Also, I didn't actually intend it to be 'Pinkie is a Gypsy' background, just that she'd seen them telling. But hey, point of contention.

It was an honor and a pleasure to be involved with this project, Jim! Best of luck!:twilightsmile:

This is just wonderful. I found every chapter a delight, and the entire storytelling vehicle was so well executed. What a treat to find here in ponyfiction land. :raritystarry:

The story of Sir Kay, very nice.

These are definitely worth reading, you should check them out

That was great, I love me some good stories.

>>1451702

Sir Kay? I always heard it as Gawain. Every telling's different I suppose...

>>1450896

Well, thank you awfully!

I will forever think of you as a professional story teller now. Because you've earned it. :ajsmug:

Thanks for sharing this with us. It's one of the better stories I've read!

I can't wait to see where this goes. I've always been a fan of mythology, I can't wait to see your Equestiran version :raritystarry:

"Don’t worry, everyone,” she said, bouncing along, “we can all play a game!”, reminds me of a certain pink pony :pinkiehappy:

That ending, of the story not the sashay into the next one, was wonderful. :raritystarry: I understood the love is blind but not the guided by madness even though it makes perfect sense

Ciao :raritywink:

>>1452308

As I remember hearing the story (KKUP, listener sponsored public radio, YAY), it was the story of Sir Kay, Arthur's stepbrother.  Could be wrong though, It was more than a few years ago and I didn't bother looking it up.

Edited to say; I did a little research, turns out I was wrong. Turns out is is Gawain's story.  Learn something new (or old) everyday.  Apparently Sir Kay was kind of a dick.

Professor Sunshine Lolipop the Sardonic. :pinkiehappy: With a name like Sunshine Lolipop I'd be pretty sardonic myself.

Firstly, "left with his swag" :rainbowlaugh: The imagery that was in my mind made me laugh out loud, for that I thank you. I also want to thank you for a truly delightful story. You sir, have a knack for storytelling that is uncanny; I had never heard someone use nervy before. I'm not quite sure what I think about it. Regardless, I could continue to shower you with superlatives, but I believe I will just finish with one, Stupendous :raritystarry:

Ciao :raritywink:

>>1453590

Funny you should say that, I actually am. Me and a friend of mine won a storytelling competition this year, in fact. We did it all this summer. I just figured it was time to combine my two life-eating preoccupations; pony and storytelling.

>>1454202

Nervy? If you say so. Thanks very much for your kind words!

Hmmm... the Story of the Wawel Dragon. Nice, I like it even more, because i'm Polish.

>>1455724

I always liked that one too. The dragon was taken down the proper way. I.e., with high explosives, rather than one guy with a fancy sword.

I stumbled upon this last night when I was bored. I can honestly say this easily cured me of that, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I think the other comments have covered why this story, or stories in this case, is/are good. Therefore, I will simply say that this made me laugh on numerous occasions and I look forward to seeing more from you in the future.

>>1456200

Well thank you, I'm glad I could save you from boredom. I honestly wasn't too sure about bits of it, but I'm glad it has your stamp of approval!

I'm now imagining Rarity doing a perfect Cockney accent :duck:

>>1456997

Oh my god I didn't even realise I'd done that this is the greatest thing I have ever written.

Well now, good and proper storytelling.  Reminds me of my own story telling days.  I recognized quite a few of these, though the Wawel Dragon one was new (and really good.  I'm going to remember that one).  While the notion that Southerners can't tell a story rankled a bit (we have our own story-telling traditions here, thank you very much), I really enjoyed the way that you spun these tales.  Well told, and truly appreciated.  If you ever feel like telling a few more, I'd love to hear them.  Heck, if the mood hits, I wonder if you could tell a few of the Brer Rabbit stories with Angel-bunny.  I think that it might fit very, very well. Bless.

this was good, i just read it all in one go

>>1459479

Well, I didn't mean it as a snub towards southerners as a whole, just the south of Equestria, where things are a little more... modern, for want of a better word. Headcanon strikes again!

Oh argh, that was awesome and terrif an terrible all at once XD I'm hooked:derpytongue2:

*Facepalms* typical twilight.

I thought the moral would be "beware of madponies with pointy things, they'll put your eyes out."

>>1450896 You ought to give it a plug Ponydora, look at how few views it has and it truly deserves far more!

A beautiful piece, it reminds me of my own times as a storyteller.

>>1468229

You did storytelling too? You mean I'm not the only one?

This was perfect. Just like the original.:pinkiehappy:

>>1466573

Typical? Thank goodness. I'd worried I'd got 'em wrong.

>>1470732 Heck no! I was part of a local group and we even did a short tv piece way back in the 90s. I haven't done it in many years but I still love being reminded of it.

What's your story? :raritywink:

>>1474368

A friend of mine got me into it. We performed as a duo at Young Storyteller of the Year 2010 and 2012 and won both times. We've been all over, performed at Whitby folk week , West Country Storytelling festival, Festival at the Edge, Beyond the Border in Wales. Met a lot of the big names. It's been an experience, to be sure.

>>1474383 Oh wow. That's amazing, so you still do storytelling? Meeting the big names is always awesome. I freely admit OI was purely small town stuff, I enjoyed the company and never did any sort of competitions, though I always love seeing them. There's the local Telling Tales fest I often try and make it to as it's great fun.

>>1474396

I'd like to, but I'm at university. Opportunities are sadly limited. Here's what we look like on stage, for the record.

Goon Show ref in the desc for the win.  :pinkiehappy:

>>1474406

Which one is you? Also I am jelly, I love stories, and wish I knew where to find all of you amazing people that tell them!

>>1496515

I'm the one in the eye-gougingly horrible shirt. I call it Vera.

It was a pleasure to read these stories, thank you.  :derpytongue2:

>>1455725 I tend to use high-energy particle beams for dragons... :rainbowkiss:

I enjoyed the stories very much!  It was nice to read something that wasn't an emotionally over-wrought death-fest of misery and pain where gods and demons were mercilessly beating the ponies with Prozac until they killed themselves.  :trollestia:

Seriously, some people are terribly mean to the poor ponies!  

Great story!  I really enjoyed it :twilightsmile:  The Dragon of Canterlot part is actually ponified version of Polish legend about Dragon from Castle Wawel. It is really nice to see my country legend pony-style :twilightsmile:

>>1583162

Me and a friend performed that story way back when, so I figured I should ponify it. Glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsheepish:

These are pretty good.  Keep em coming.

This is the best thing.

I love your retellings.

Great job with all of the storytelling.  I liked the youtube video of you doing it live too.

I can't help but picture Tales' voice as being the narrator from Bastion.

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