Telling Tales

by James Washburn

Chapter Two - Love and Madness

Chapter Two

Love and Madness

In the beginning of everything, there was a garden. In that garden lived all the vices, virtues and emotions of the world, in a time before there were ponies to have them. Of course, all the vices, virtues and emotions still looked like ponies, because they were all ultimately for ponies. Anyway, one day (“I say one day, it was always day in the garden”), Boredom reared his great ugly head.

"I’m bored,” he said.

And perhaps it all would have ended there, if Agreement hadn’t piped up.

“Yeah, I’m bored too.”

Then Peer-Pressure said, “Well, if you’re going to be bored, then I’m bored too.”

Soon enough, there was a small crowd of them, all complaining of boredom. It might have turned ugly too, if it hadn’t been for Imagination.

"Don’t worry, everyone,” she said, bouncing along, “we can all play a game!”

“What sort of game?” they said.

“What about Hide and Seek?”

Now, of course, none of them had ever heard of Hide and Seek, so Imagination had to explain it all to them. One pony stays and counts, everypony else hides, the latter has to hunt down the former, you all know how it goes.

They all thought that sounded like a pretty swell idea, so all the vices, virtues and emotions decided they’d all play Hide and Seek. Naturally, they needed a seeker, so at random they chose Madness. So he stood facing away and started to count.

One, two, three, four, five.... ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty...

“MADNESS!” shouted Imagination. “You’re not taking this seriously, are you?”

"Fiiine...”

So he counted, and all the others ran off and hid.

“Ninety-nine, a hundred! Right, that’s it, I’m coming for you!” said Madness.

He turned, took a step, and tripped over Laziness who hadn’t even bothered to find a place to hide. Just over there, Daydream was sleeping up in on a cloud, so Madness had to pull him down. Misdirection cunningly hid behind a sign saying ‘Misdirection isn’t hiding here’ which had Madness flummoxed for a bit, but he got through it in the end. Bravery was quite easy to find, since he refused to do anything so cowardly as hiding, and since he went everywhere with Courage he found two at once.

It was tough work and it took a while, but finally, Madness found all the other vices, virtues and emotions, from Abnegation to Zoophobia. Well almost all.

All except one. Try as he might, Madness couldn’t find Love. He looked high, and he looked low, but she was nowhere to be found. Finally, it reached the point (you know how it gets) where it had gone on too long. Madness was getting sick of searching, so he turned to the others.

“Look, has anyone seen Love?” he asked.

There was silence for a moment.

“I have,” said Betrayal, slyly. “She’s in the rose garden.”

Of course! thought Madness, triumphant at last. He tramped along to the rose garden, which was dominated by one huge rose bush. Now, he was certain he’d find Love hiding in that bush, so he tried to sidle his way in to find her.

He tried to slip a hoof through the thorns, to grab her but OW! He caught himself on one. It was razor sharp, the size of a lion’s tooth. He drew back and tried again, edging a hoof in through another... OW! Sonofa-! This was going to be tricky. He tried again, but OW! And again, (OW!) and again, (OW!) and again (OWWW!) but he just couldn’t get through those thorns. And he was getting pretty frustrated now, pretty angry. In fact, he was furious! He grabbed a pitchfork in one hoof (“Well, it was a garden.”) and thrust it into the rose bush.

There was a scream, and Madness leapt back in fear. The other vices, virtues and emotions rushed over to see what all the fuss was about. Slowly, Love walked out of the rose bush, blood dripping from her eyes.

“Madness, what have you done?” she said.

And everyone could damn well see what he’d done. He’d put out her eyes.

(Tales felt the audience just drop. He knew the punchline, though)

He was lost for words. All the others just stared at him. After a time, Madness stepped forward.

“I... I...I’m so sorry,” he said. “Please, forgive me.”

“Forgive him?” said Disbelief. “He put your eyes out!”

“Hangin’s too good for him! Burn him alive, I say!” said Overreaction.

“What if he goes on a rampage? No eye will be safe!” said Panic.

But, Love paid them no heed. She forgave Madness, because Love forgives all. But Madness wouldn’t accept it. To allay his conscience, he pledged himself to her, that he would always be at her side to show her the way.

And that’s why, even now, love is blind, and guided by madness.

* * *

The audience groaned and laughed in roughly equal measure. Tales grinned to himself. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He’d show them yet.

Another funny one to ease them in? Why not.

“So you see, some stories are about the big things,” he said, pacing to and fro. “Love, death and suchlike, but other stories are more... close to home. Like this one, which is maybe a little bit more... relate-able...”

Comments

[Rarityshy]

"Don’t worry, everyone,” she said, bouncing along, “we can all play a game!”, reminds me of a certain pink pony
That ending, of the story not the sashay into the next one, was wonderful. I understood the love is blind but not the guided by madness even though it makes perfect sense
Ciao

[Themaskedferret]

Oh argh, that was awesome and terrif an terrible all at once XD I'm hooked

[Firebirdbtops]

I thought the moral would be "beware of madponies with pointy things, they'll put your eyes out."

[Esle Ynopemos]

I can't help but picture Tales' voice as being the narrator from Bastion.

[FashionablyHospitable]

111...

Such a fortunate number of upthumbs. It would be a shame if someone were to... RUIN IT.

[CrystalWaters]

4186120
No! This story needs more upvotes.