New Story! Just an idea I've been playing with and I wanted to test out.

Not to sure how regular I'm going to be able to produce this but I will try and keep it going at a steady pace if I can.

If you like please click the like button and leave a comment.

I've heard that song before but the name escapes me. Please be a sir and tell me the name.

I like what you've done so far. No real plot yet, but that's because it's only the prologue, I suppose. The spacing and formatting did quite a bit in catching my attention. It also helps set the dark atmosphere.

On a side note, that's one sexy cover art. Mind telling me where it's from?

An intreging beginning.  It's far too soon to form a solid opinion, but I'll be watching.

>>13982281398228

It's "What do you do with a drunken sailor."

First thing that caught my attention was the cover.  I'm sure a few other people will remember it's last usage.

On to the story, I can't really judge this early.  Writing seems fine, if not quite perfect.  What you can do is clean up the punctuation a bit; you're missing commas and some current usages of commas would be better changed to periods for emphasis of a phrase.  I also noticed one instance of "your" being used in place of "you're".

>>13982281398228

It's a variation of "Drunken Sailor".

>>13987021398702 >>13987091398709 thank you very much

That picture drew me in.

Shows how much a worthy cover goes. Very good.

Your use of onomatopoeia and vocal expressions in character speech is off-putting; and you don't have paragraphs :l

Also, too much telling, not enough showing >:v

"Please sir may I have some more?"   Good so far and i particulylike this style for character based stories what seems like this is gonna be like I hope you get more out soon!

For some reason as soon as the music started I was reading this with a sadistic grin plastered to my face.

Interesting and slightly mindscrewy start.

I definitely would love more of this. This chapter left too much of a cliffhanger (if it counts as a cliffhanger) for me to resist wanting more.

This story intrigued me so much I created an account to get updates.

I beg you.  DO NOT let this story grow stale and stagnate.  It's got so much potential.

~ Skeeter

MOAR for the love of god MOAR

>>14115801411580

MOAR

No update this week - sorry

Playing Dishonored and XCOM so no time for anything else

That is interesting.  It's started with enough vagueness that I am intrigued, while with enough information for me to have at least some idea of what's going on.  Also, I just like this sort of stuff.

I can't wait to see where this goes. My guess is she's gonna be suffering from some amnesiac dissonance. A suddenly good Twilight in the middle of an evil Twilights empire. Then again, that's just my two bits. I'll definitely be following all the same.

>>14320531432053

WHEN? WHEN? I cant take it anymore! Dear god when will it update?

>>15676651567665 Sorry been busy with work stuff, update hopefully sometime this week :)

>>15680681568068

Nice to know

Well made any progress? Im still waiting

Interesting, you have my attention sir.

I was not expecting him to cry...

Go on....