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Mist

Joined October 2011
118 followers

Sequels

  • Advance
    The age of technology has hit Equestria. Ponies everywhere are connecting in ways they never felt imaginable. In this world of constant digital connection, Apple Bloom is learning that things change as you get older...

    17,321 words · 531 views · 39 likes · 1 dislikes

Groups

Stories (6)

  • Like Me
    Magic works in strange ways, and seems to manifest in every pony differently.

    9,310 words · 2,301 views · 249 likes · 15 dislikes
  • Bad Habit
    Growing up is difficult sometimes. Scootaloo learns the hard way in a tale of coming of age.
    16,584 words · 1,444 views · 84 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Advance
    The age of technology has hit Equestria. Ponies everywhere are connecting in ways they never felt imaginable. In this world of constant digital connection, Apple Bloom is learning that things change as you get older...
    17,321 words · 531 views · 39 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Just a Scratch
    Sometimes curiosity combined with boredom can get the better of us, Vinyl Scratch understands that.
    4,276 words · 382 views · 23 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Precious
    18,519 words · 181 views · 10 likes · 1 dislikes
  • Яarity
    6,281 words · 674 views · 35 likes · 14 dislikes

Blog Posts (25)

18
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Source

This story is a sequel to Like Me

When it feels like you have no one you can count on, you'll turn anywhere for that little pick me up. Sometimes though, it can be a bad habit to have, and even harder to break when it gets you in deep. Growing up can be tough, especially when you feel like no one really understands you. Scootaloo learns the hard way in a tale of friendship, family and coming of age.

Almost a year in the making, the long awaited sequel to Like Me.

Cover image done by CypressPhoenix

Update 10/17/12: Fixed many errors, and reworded things to help make the story sound less "mechanical" also added an epilogue.

First Published
5th Oct 2012
Last Modified
5th Oct 2012

Comments ( 18 )

#1 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

This is great! :pinkiehappy:

#2 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

MY BODY IS READY

#3 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

I'm about 3/4ths through, and I just wanted to give some criticism before I forget.

“I suggest y’all go home…” He said.

You do this a lot. If you're going to end a line of dialogue with "s/he said," you don't capitalize the first letter of the pronoun.

You split up your paragraphs too much. Let me give an example:

       “It just doesn’t add up Applebloom… How does she overcome two years of depression so quickly?” I asked.

        Applebloom clearly wasn’t interested in the subject. As we came closer to her house, she seemed eager to get inside and end the discussion.

        “She’s keeping secrets, Applebloom… There’s something she’s not telling us…” I suggested.

        She turned to my direction with a sigh.

        “Y’all ain’t exactly one to talk, Scoot…” She replied.

Put Scootaloo's two lines into one paragraph, and put all of Apple Bloom's narration and exposition into another one. It makes it easier to read.

Also, very small, but: it's "goodbye," not "good bye."

#4 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

Just finished. And, uh, bro? You might want to check that ending... I think you forgot to edit some stuff out... :twilightblush:

Anyway, I really liked the story. I was a big fan of Like Me, and was excited when I saw the sequel. Although the ending felt a bit rushed...

I'm hoping for more in this series. I still want to know more about Sweetie and White Star!

#5 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1388711 Like I said, there is a lot of editing that needs to be done. I am not done with this just yet and the ending may be extended a bit after I make some major revisions. I'm kind of surprised EQD accepted it too...

#6 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

are those prereader notes at the end there? regardless, great story. sweetie bells deathnote powers still freak me out though.

#7 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1388848 They were, IDK how they ended up there. I removed them however.

#8 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

Well, I got school now, but I'll read this 1st thing after it!

#9 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

Given the context provided by Sweetie Belle. That last line was heart wrenchingly sad, and made me cry.

However this and Like Me were both great reads, and I thank you for writing them.

#10 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

I've already begun correcting some of the errors in the GDoc, and when I get home I'm going to sit down and read through this again to give one last editing sweep to try and fix a lot of the issues. Also there is a chance I may "extend" the ending a little.

#11 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1390233

That would be much appreciated. The ending feels.... Too open, and I don't really feel like I've received closure. Regardless, a good read.

So Scootaloo had a drug problem, Sweetie Belle and White Star have shinigami-esque powers.....

So what is Applebloom's scenario/cutie mark?

Also: Did Scootaloo's death date/cause return to the previous one? Or will she still die earlier, due to long term system damage from Chemical?

#12 · 94w, 6d ago · · ·

I read the previous one, and I have to say I have high hopes for this one! Love the work so far, Mist! :rainbowkiss:

#13 · 94w, 5d ago · · ·

Not so much a sequel to Like Me as it is a side-story, but still, loved it! :pinkiehappy:

I really liked how subtle Scootaloo's “environmental problems", if you will, are. Scoots' parents aren't abusive in any way, and can barely even be considered neglectful. They're just not very good parents, and you made that clear without being in-your-face about it.

I also liked how this fic provided context to the argument between Scoots and Sweetie in Like Me. Admittedly, though, I think it came too soon—it doesn't seem like Scootaloo should be acting like she has big problems at that point in the story, since otherwise she seemed to be in denial that she had any problems at all.

I can't say I'm a fan of Scootaloo's date of death changing. It contradicts and undermines the concept of Like Me in a way that makes the original fic worth less. It seems like you did it to set up a future story (since the date change is rather irrelevant in this fic other than making the ending depressing), but even if that's the case I would still rather you scrap it and think of something else.

Like others have said, the ending is a bit rushed and could benefit from a few scenes that show Scootaloo's inner struggles with the whole situation. For example, in the final scene Scoots mentions how Shady's charms don't work on her any more...yet in the last scene with them together she was still a lovesick filly. There should've been more transition between that.

I just realized that I apparently never reviewed Like Me. What? I thought I did back when I first read it...eh, whatever.

Anyway, I'm definitely looking forward to more fics in this universe of yours—there's no way we can let you end it here! Keep up the awesome work! :twilightsmile:

#14 · 94w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1392102 There will be a final story.

#15 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1393028

That'll be awesome! Can't wait for it. <3

#16 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

Hi, I just found this story, and it's really good. I don't usually read dark fics, but the crusaders are a favorite of mine. Point of my reading aside, this is incredible writing. If I interpretted everything correct, there will be one story after this? In that case, my only complaint is that I want to know everything, and one more story will make that tough. I especially want to know about Trixie and Big Mac. They both seem very different from normal, and I can't wait to see the next installment. Let's hope it isn't a year this time. :scootangel:

#17 · 94w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1398774 When I get done revising this one I'm going to start drafting the story for the final story.

I suppose I can say now because it's not much of a "surprise" that the final installment is about Apple Bloom. The working title is "Advance."

#18 · 57w, 1d ago · · ·

A touching little tale, I love it.

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