Freakin' finally!  

  Every single sentence is structured as "Death did this, then Death did that" followed by "Luna did this and then Luna did that."  Pronouns are your friend.

Although it turned out great, i agree with L0n3w0lf. also you seem to ignore my advice? just curious why.

I believe I like where this is going. Do continue.

>>13944311394431 I'm sorry! I was getting impatient with my really slow internet and the weekend just started. We still have to do shooting for our project in school and I wanted to get a chapter out before it.

is good start. i like it.

please continue

>>13935771393577 i know right

finally a darksiders 2 crossover

>>13945711394571 oh its ok. i was just wandering.

>>13959671395967 This awesome person has another but with a custom character (a fith horseman)

Not a bad idea at all, I like the idea of the four horsemen in equestria, specifically the from Darksiders universe.

Still, it needs a good bit of work and proof reading, also, use pronouns, people wont loose focus of who is doing what very easily.

oooh!! ooh!!! I KNOW WHO THE GUY IN THE DARK IS!!! I KNOW!!! ITS THE FIFTH HORSEMAN U MENTIONED EARLIER OMGSHLOLWTFBBQ

be more descriptive with your writing here let me give you an example:

"As Death opened his eyes, he saw what looked to be a ruined castle, chipped and worn, but also stable. As Death studied these ruins, three figures appeared before him."

just a short example you know.

If they're doing a Darksiders crossover, there has to be a Diablo crossover sometime.

>>13966731396673 herp derp. lol.

>>13969741396974 Sorry. Too poor to get Diablo 3.... Also its not too high on my priority list.

>>13969741396974

You can go check out Justice Itself. It's a pretty good one.

Somehow.... Somehow it just seems..... off. I mean, it's good. But just.... off. I can't specify though.... Maybe it's the formatting? I don't know.... Hmmmm.... Lemme get back to you on it. Too fast maybe?

Ok, this fic holds great promise, first chapter was a bit short tough.

>>13987161398716 It's just a prologue. The chapters will get longer and with improved writing style.

>>13993971399397 Okay, I faved anyways, so you have my attention. Have a factoid.

During World War II, on January 18, 1943, bakers in the United States were ordered to stop selling sliced bread for the duration of the war. Only whole loaves were made available to the public. It was never explained how this action helped the war effort.

awesome....tracking

Is it strange that the moment I refreshed the page, the views were 666?

Win.

>>14743561474356 yea... definitely...

Death massecres all his enemies. Predictable, but it certainly beats most crossovers.

Death meets Twillight Sparkle.....oh this is so epic!!!

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because when I meet death I make sure to just say "Hi." It's the appropriate response in all cases right? Yes.

I'm feeling this story and can't wait for more.

-Sturrn

more more more more more moremoremmoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremore

too much sister this sister that......way too much use of it....they have names ya know

but still a good story

This is the meaning of kick flank

>>14743561474356

dude if i got a nickel for every time i got to see 666

i would have death made a run for its money

sample

collecting souls 666

collecting gold 666

needed exp 666

ect.

hell is playing mind games with every one

How much longer? A

>>25848262584826 Ah crap, I COMPLETELY forgot to update this! Sorry, but I promised a new story and this will have to wait until then. You know what though? I want to ask what you guys want me to update first. I'll post a poll soon.