An obvious plagiarism of Raising a Human in Equestria.

Not to discourage you, but someone else did this not to long ago...

It's dangerous to go alone! Stop taking this!

>>13834881383488 >>13834961383496 >>13835571383557

While I may be bias (due to loving whats being done with Raising a Human in Equestria) but I give it a read and then say my peace.

>>13834881383488 I had no idea, sorry, but I think I can get mine to be a little more original than as is it is. Thanks for letting me know.

.>>13834961383496 I had no idea, sorry, but I think I can get mine to be a little more original than as is it is. Thanks for letting me know.>>13834961383496

>>13835571383557 Thanks for giving me the link. I'll look into it.

moar... and i mean RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>13838631383863 Okay, since you so obviously didn't know, I will actually try it.

Thumbs up for having an original picture right off the bat

You know, the concept is FAR too interesting to just have one of. I am glad to see this type of HiE is starting to get more attention. Maybe it will become a new subgenre like that of the Chess Game, or Ponies on Earth or whatever other HiE styles there are.

>>13834881383488 How is this plagiarism? He didn't steal another writers work. You can't put a patent on an idea. This entire site is made up of rehashed ideas, with different takes on the same scenario.  

Ah! I understand your pain! Of having an idea and then it turns out that someone else has already come up with said idea. I too had an idea for a story. A human gets sent to Equestira (alright THAT parts not new or uncommon), by Discord (I don't think that one's uncommon but I've only seen one like this) and is turned into a diamond dog by Discord and then goes on to have his own adventures on the story path set before him... of course it turns out that someone wrote a very good story like that. True there are differences between them... however it's hard to want to post what I have knowing I'll be "competing" with Rust and his wonderful story... I say "competing" because I know there'll be people who'll dislike it just because "Rust did it 1st!" (I'm pretty sure his name is Rust... right?) ...so don't worry that someone else has done your idea too! Great minds think alike no?

Didn't read the whole thing, and frankly I didn't want too.

Two main reasons being your style of writing and your pacing.

For your style, this link could be very helpful.

The pacing is just too fast. Character's go from being bored to happy to sad to curious in the space of a mere few lines. Everyone is immediately straight to the point, which isn't all that believable. The first scene was only two lines, nothing but the most basic descriptions!

To add to those two points, the grammar isn't all that great.

Big Mac asked his grandmother still crying.

There is nothing connecting still crying to the rest of the line. What you're doing is just lazily throwing an emotion onto the end of the sentence without properly connecting it.

It should be more like:

Big Mac asked his grandmother, tears still running down the colt's face.

And finally,

"Last one there's a rotten apple!" Johnny challenged as he ran faster.

"No fair! Yer legs are longer then mine!" Applebloom yelled out laughing.

Quadrupeds are much faster than bipeds. A Jack Russel puppy can easily outrun me, and my legs are a couple dozen times larger, if not more. Why do you think we domesticated horses in the first place?

I have no problem with this story, but I do think it's bullshit you got a featured spot with only 20 or so favorites.

Like I told you back on my story, keep doing what you're doing.

Personally I'd love to see more stories like this.

Though I do have a small suggestion. You might want to change his name, it might help with the people who have read my story so they could give this one a fair chance.

It would be funny if he ends up romanticaly involved with Diamond Tiara later on.

Okay I read this and I'll keep this civil as I can. First off, you have to get an editor plain and simple. I'm no grammar Nazi by any stretch of the imagination, however this was riddled with errors. Secondly, yes the pacing and the story is far to erratic. Slow it down and show us what's in the story, do not simply tell us.

I felt nothing when it was announced that Mrs. Apple had died. And that's because you had Granny Smith treat her death like an after thought. If her own mother doesn't give a flying shit about her dieing I sure in hell won't either. Another thing, how the hell does a new born human crawl? That made zero sense. I think you have something good here, but right now it's just a diamond in the rough. I don't know if you rushed it or not, but please consider trying to polish it up, while you still have the chance. Anyway good luck to you sir, and wow a featured spot?

While I do love the idea, and will follow alonh with this story, you look like you could use some constructive criticism:

¤ Double-check the story when writing; try to fix as many grammatical/spelling errors that you can.

¤ Find an editor, a reviewer, or a critic to tell you what you're doing right. Trust me, it helps.

¤ Slow the plot progression down! Taking a story as quick as you did can be good in some places, but not here.

¤ Try not to put notes in the story; save them for the end with a "A/N:" tag.

¤ Finally, don't be afraid to critique your work as you go along, instead of doing it all at once. When I write, I proofread every paragraph as it's writ.

ABOVE ALL, HAVE FUN WRITING. ;D

>>13840831384083 THANKYOU! That's why I try to hurry this stuff up fast. thanks for understanding

>>13840991384099 That actually helps dud thanks. I'll make sure to fix it up next chapter, if I have time I'll redo this one.

>>13841421384142 Well sorry. But this is actually a dream come true for me, (Yeah I know I have low self esteem)

>>13843311384331 No, I'm happy for you, and I'm going to let you finish...

But I've gotten two stories featured and have over 210 followers.

>>13841541384154 Really? I thought Johnny Appleseed was kinda clever. I seriously think I should keep the name. but I'll think about it.

>>13843261384326

My advice would be to focus on this one before even thinking about the second. The first chapter is arguably the most important, because its the one that gets read first, so its the one a reader will judge if they want to continue reading or not.

>>13841651384165 HUSH NOW QUIET NOW!

:>>13842281384228 I know thanks for the suggestion.

i won't read this one right away, but perhaps in a little bit i'll definitely come back to it.

i'm definitely all for more "raised by wolves ponies" HiE.

I say slow the pace down a little.  no need to rush .

also mrs apples death was just....well there wasn't any real emotion to it.

A death like that should be handled delicately....just saying

Personally i think this is better than "The other one" Keep going

Interesting so far, keep it going!

>>13843311384331 The reason I'm butthurt is that my story got 76 favorites today and has better ratings, yet it's not featured.

But, hey, congrats mate.

heres a like for you

just try to slow it down next time

Blatant copy of a specific story.

Aside from that. Rushed as all hell.

Pacing? What's that?

It felt hallow.

Back to the drawing board with you.

>>13844941384494 Thanks again and yeah I don't get that,

>possible copy of an existing story

>hints at humanxpony shipping

>misused semicolon in synopsis

Have a thumbs down.

* Notices your first story on FiMfiction got featured.*

*Crys a little on the inside*

Whelp lets give this a read!

Edit: Alighty then! First I would like to say that Johnny Appleseed was clever. And 2nd It wasn't bad at all, there were a couple of spelling errors at the beginning And it was a tad fast, but you said that already so no biggy. I really don't see why there is so much hate really. I mean yes it was done before. but i say, So?

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_future.png

People are on here to write what they want and hope people will like it. And I hate when people just say its bad for no real reason. So what i have to say to you is. Don't stop writing this story it is pretty good so far and I'm interested. Also as you are well aware of humanxpony relationships are A-Ok in my book!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

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Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

>>13846511384651 Don't you think that is a little mean to say that? I mean it is one thing to not like it because it isn't your thing. But to just say it like that is just rude and uncalled for. I'm sorry but damn, you are a Brony are you not? Be nice!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Mr_Cake.png

why is this featured.

._.

I'm a bit disappointed with myself, frankly. I just can't get into this. And it's really difficult not to think that his name is ripped from mine and Flame's story.

I guess the factor in a story that really wins me over is cleverness. I don't intend to be mean when I say this but, I don't see any cleverness in this one.

There's loads of ways to do the 'human grows up in Equestria' thing, but, well... not all of them are that good. It's unfortunate, but it's true.

Oh well, not much one can do, anyway. I wish you luck though, don't think I dislike you because of this.

While Raising a Human in Equestria has reader interaction.(wich in my eyes is EPIC!) I will still give this a fair chance.

I'll put this on my to-read list.

>>13844941384494

Every newly published story gets a little time in the Box, that's just how it is, has nothing to do with 'getting Featured' in the ordinary sense.

I feel like ponies wouldn't wear real fur. I mean, that's like taking the entire race out of character. But then again, you did call Derpy Ditzy...

>>13851111385111 That must be a very new addition. My most recent story hasn't been featured.

fav'd .. and just ignore the haters telling ya it's been done before, just do it YOUR way and it'll be unique ..keep it coming.

i put this into my "read later" list. i rather wait for more updates than dive in now and wait afterwards

>>13840701384070True, but this is an almost exact carbon copy of Raising a Human in Equestria. The only difference being Raising a Human in Equestria spent more time in the baby years building the character up. They even got the exact same name for the kid, Johnny Appleseed (Though in RaHiE, his formal name is Johnathan Apple).

Anyways, I can hope that you truly didn't know about it (as I didn't until it got featured, and haven't seen hide nor hair of it since), and that you can take this down your own unique path. Here's wishing you luck on your fic.

Also, how the hell did you get your story featured in a DAY? Not that I'm complaining. I actually feel sorta sorry for featured story writers. True, they get more views and people can enjoy their hard work and help them with mistakes they may have made, but it puts more pressure on them to try and update a little more frequently. The usual case being lots of people read featured stories, and some of them are the type of people (and I will admit right now, I tend to do this myself. It's a bad habit, but like the old saying goes: old habits die hard) that will "beg"(you know, leave a comment offering to do anything to help the author get their next chapter out as soon as possible) the author for a new chapter soon, or PM them and ask why they haven't updated in a long time. I personally dread the day that I might get featured. Doubt it's going to happen. Grammar is great, but I doubt my storylines are that good.

Anyways, sorry i rambled at you. But this has pretty good potential, and I can't wait to see how lil Johnny Appleseed (with his coon-skin cap har har) grows up. And I seem to have noticed you basically skipped past the Nightmare Moon part. My question is: 'why you do this?' Meh, not a problem. Tracking now, and good luck.

>>13838891383889 I agree

read later, maybe ill get to it after this site stops featureing stuff and i read the rest of the 600 stories i also put on read later

>>13840701384070That being a synonym for "Ripping off one another's ideas"?

oh come on guys every second story is in a way a copy form another.

So din´t fuck him up because he wanted to write a story with this thema.

Because it is basicly impossible to not copy an other autor.

So and now to the Fic.

Good work so far keep going

>>13840701384070 Actually, you CAN patent an idea, but you CAN'T patent a fanfic, because you're using someone else's product in the idea.

I only have this to say...what was I smoking and how come this story is starting to taste like swag?

there seem to be an awful lot of these stories floating about

>>13856271385627

....

why does this keep coming up?

Honestly what do readers want? there is so little a person can do that hasnt been done before. Unless the man is a super genius the chance of his story avoiding tropes, genre specifics, and used ideas is Zero and i dont care who what writer you point me to on this site, or EqD. anything they have written has been done before.

>>13859051385905Good point.

I hope Johnny and Twist have a good "date" hehe.

Hmm not the first time the idea was presented that way, but hey more variety is good for the setting. We have plenty on standard Humans-in-Equestria and Ponies-on-Equestria fanfics, so why not take a stepped further with the setting of a child being raised in Equestria. And to others that claims "Oh he just ripped from the story XYZ", just calm down. 90% of fanfics these basically copies the ideas (of some form) from older materials and made them better with their ideas. even though the guy in question may or may not read the old material said in question, let the guy developed more chapters before we act with silly assumptions as such, things get interesting with creativity after all

Anyhow best wishes to all and best regards,

Honestly I assumed when I clicked on this story that it was someone giving their own take on how Raising a Human in Equestria would go. I was gonna point out that the story felt very rushed but you pointed that out already it seems.

I'm gonna reserve judgement until I see where you're going with the adventure tag.

Interesting. The same concept as Raising A Human In Equestria. I certainly hope you plan on doing something new with it. I have nothing against similar concepts, or ripping off ideas from other authors, that's inevitable and sometimes for the best, but you could've at least given him a family other than the Apples. I mean, come on! So many choices!

In West Apple Acres, born and raised; on the orchard is where I spent most of my days.

>>13862621386262 Thankyou! I was going to make a reference to that but I decided "nah" .

>>13848101384810  Yeah, gave this a skim over... I cannot see how it got featured.  The idea is far from original and it's not even an interesting take on the idea, nor is it a rehashing of a concept that is at least constructed all that well.   The dialog is hokey and often agonizingly dull or feebly melodramatic.  The pacing is, as many have noted, teeth-gratingly eratic.  

There are many far better stories that I would never find if they didn't show up on EqD, and they frequently have hundreds of positives.

>>13863891386389 Are you kidding?I would have died laughing if you put that in the story.

Unless human soldiers come in the end and fuck shit up

i'm not reading

I like it. Please do continue it.

>>13840831384083

Er, already a story like that.  In fact, it's one of the two that kicked off Chess Game of the Gods...  Haven't read this fic, yet, though.

>>13851111385111 Mine wasn't featured, and it was approved on the same day.

OK, I plan to check this out later but I have a few comments/questions right off the bat concerning the synopsis/picture, the answers to which may influence whether I read this.

1: If he was "Born and Raised in Equestria" why is he wearing clothes?

2: How is his situation any different from Spike's and therefor why would he be treated any differently than Spike is?

>>13846511384651

I've seen enough coincidence to doubt the 1st.

I can't argue the 3rd.

But as for the 2nd, how is a non-pony who is raised as a pony, getting shipped with a pony, any different from Spike x pony shipping?

Who's the dude screaming between paragraphs?

(I actually laughed alot more than I should have about that... My humour is a little dry at the moment)

>>13840831384083

They totally do think alike.

>>13868151386815

I hate when this happens.

Actually, sometimes.

They have to pull it off just right.

If there is a constant foreboding over it, and the author sets it up correctly, i'm all for it.

But, if it's all sunshine and rainbows and then it's all HOLYSHITTHEY'REHEREANDTHEYHAVEBOMBSANDGUNS!

Then, fuck that shit.

Nice...

Huh, this chapter is ALL over the place. I understand this is prolly more like Chapter 0 than 1, so I'll just track it for now. Judgment reserved for when you finally get the ball rolling, since your writing isn't that bad...

>>13878231387823 The difference would be Spike is a dragon, a well known creature throughout Equestria. While Johnny is a being that no pony has ever seen before. Besides it was only Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon treating him bad. Diamond Tiara likes to antagonize Apple Bloom as it is, so it's only natural for her to pick on her brother as well, who will forever be a blank flank.  

>>13892111389211

I see. Again, haven't read the chapter, just the synopsis.

If it's just bullies, that's fine. A bully is a bully.

But as for Spike, he may be a member of a known species, but the average Equestrian knows next to nothing about dragons other than that they are terrifying and aggressive. Yet Spike is accepted.

The human may be completely unknown, but that also means there is no negative stigma. And having been raised by poniesm there is no "human like" behavior to set him apart.

And that still doesn't answer the clothes issue.

>>13892311389231 Well if you think about it. they would assume he needs cloths due to no fur and if winter came around the human would die or get really sick. so it is implied without saying really.

>>13892451389245

Yes, ponies use clothes too. For style and for warmth. And they could be easily adapted to his form. But the majority of the time he, like they, would either go nude, or wearing very minimal covering, if anything.

>>13892581389258 Yes they would. And i do agree that there should of been a scene explaining that. But at the same time, we can apply that logic ourselves. Thats all I'm saying.

no offense, but this is the most disliked featured story i've ever seen!

not that it's a bad story or anything, it's quite good

Hmm, I liked this chapter alot actually. you did pretty well in my opinion. keep up the great work!

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Dayum he's tall for a kid his age :O

MAKE HIM FINDS ANOTHER HUMANS LATEERS!! WHY IS I CAPS CLOKCING>>

>>13880761388076 no I want this kid to be bullied fuckin hard by these ponies all of his life so when the soldiers come he fucks them all up

Death to ponies

Pony X Human... oh that's not going to end well...

I like the story but I'm not looking forward to that.

Well I'm not anyway. My dick properly has other ideas.

>>13878231387823

It's not different from Spike x pony shipping, and my views on that are exactly the same, hence why I wrote a Rarispike anti-ship story a while back.

Oh quick tip while writing repace the XXXXXXXX With this -  

[hr ]

(with out the space from r to brackets)

this creates that long dash in everyone elses stories. Enjoy and Good Luck!

"THAT'S BECAUSE YER NOT A PONY! Ya can't get one unless yer a pony!"

Twist X johnny? REALLY?

Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbf18gMZgz1riqme8o1_250.gif

"THAT'S BECAUSE YER NOT A PONY! Ya can't get one unless yer a pony!" Applejack retorted.

Im confused, why did AJ said that. was she there?O-o

Johnny was close to falling asleep when he heard Applebloom's voice in his head.

'THAT'S BECAUSE YER NOT A PONY! Ya can't get one unless yer a pony!' Her voice echoed in his head.

Im confused.

>>13892311389231 Well like I said only DT and SS were treating him bad, so the acceptance isn't an issue. As for the clothing, I thought that was self explanatory. You'd have to think a pony would realize that without fur, scales, feathers, or a tough hide, that the human would require protection. Imagine how delicate a humans flesh would feel to something as tough as a pony.  

Let's also not forget his exposed genitals. Ponies may go around in the nude but their privates are never in plain site. A mare's tail covers hers, while the stallions would have a sheath. It's only in primates that, that area is clearly exposed. But even in apes they're so hairy and to add that they are uncircumcised, makes it that much more difficult to notice. There's no way they'd think it's okay for him to walk around with his man hood flapping in the wind.

I know none of this is actually mentioned, but I'm willing to fill in the blanks when it's required. However the author maybe shouldn't have skipped over the realization that the human needed to wear something. Only problem I have with the clothing is that it's farmer style clothing. That's something they wouldn't have known.

>>13840991384099 fixed them, and chap 2 is up

1) Twist's dialogue is written wrong. She has a lisp, not an alcohol problem.

2) Use horizontal lines instead of 'OOOOOOOOOOO' and the like.

Other than these two complaints, this is a good story.

It's better than the last chapter that's for sure.

And I can already see that the ship with Twist wont happen... unless you make him start liking her but after the way he acted in this chapter it wouldn't make any sense. Plus, 7 year olds don't think about romances this deeply, they just don't. Right now Johnny seems more like a 15 year old with the way he talks and thinks.

I still can't make up my mind if I should follow this or not, I think one more chapter will make up my mind.

Also, you get a plus for the picture.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YER NOT A PONY! Ya can't get one unless yer a pony!" Applejack retorted.

'Oh there it is again. Even my own sister has to bring it up.' Johnny thought. He looked down the road and saw that the farm-house wasn't too far. "Can we just go home? Maybe you can talk ta Applejack or Big Macintosh."

>>13897181389718 youll get your wish soon enough dude, I planned it out long ago.

>>13901271390127 I fixed it, no worries

>>13909871390987 You fuckin' legend,

I've been looking for this sort of stuff for along time

>>13896761389676 I've seen more