Ten targets, ten potions, and one pony to get the job done.
Consider my ego well stroked.
Yes, and then prepare yourself for the blog I'm about to make.
Explicit Misanthropy warning? You're not going into some sort of troll-mode, are you?
Because I don't like to have my time wasted.
Can't wait for MOAR! Insta-fav.
Woooo! A PER story! I fu*king love the PER!
You are WELCOMe.
All right, I'll give this a try. Let's see him convert someone.
Then I love you and Banana King.
Its a TCB story, they all have said misanthropy... and since its PER, there has to be misanthropy... right?
This is getting an up vote just because you have coined the term The Downvote Brigade, and, from the number of downvotes, they already know. Write another one, I like to watch them foam at the mouth.
Soon, I have others to write.
I have been converted to full on misanthropy now, thanks to the Anti group, so BRING ON THE HUMAN HATE! Fix those savage bipeds. Lets see the transformations BEGIN!
More ponies = more hugs! FOR HUGGING!
Its like the Slenderman, he has a lot of arms that are long made for giving extra big hugs.
Krasnyj is spelled properly. This pleases me.
For a second, I read that as penis.
LES DO DIS
sounds like somebody did inform the downvote brigade.
Eh, a few fuckups with grammar, sentence fragments and structure, but it's got promise. I love the idea of a "painted equestria" in an underground fort! So silly, yet... practical.
You know maybe, just maybe, there wouldn’t be a downvote brigade, if you wouldn’t portray a bunch of terrorist as the good guys. Or at least show us the bad sides of the PER. They aren’t supposed to be the shining heroes; they were introduced as pony counterpart of the HLF. Instead they became a bunch of glorified freedom fighters despite the fact that they are forcing people to accept their way of live. For once I would see the not so nice sides of the PER. Like Johnny Ponylover finding a crying person with two children hiding in a closet and the man/ woman begs him to take only him and spare the children. Just saying…
Anyway, not much happens in this chapter. It’s just an introduction to the main characters and a set-up for the plot. Too bad that we didn’t learn that much of the protagonist. I was expecting a backstory that explains why he joined the PER. But all we got was one line about how the PER convinced him off-screen while he was on the way to Equestrian. How did that happen? What did they say? What was his reaction? His wish to join the PER set not only the story in motion it also gives the character more personality. Was he eager to join them, because want they said made sense to him or did he sign up half-hearted and isn’t entirely sure that this is such a good idea? By skipping the recruiting scene you wasted a lot of potential.
The overall plot about the ten potions for ten people looks promising. Hopefully it isn’t reduced to find target, splash target, find next target and repeated the same process. Obstacles, conflicts and emotional drama are what makes a story interesting. If it’s to easy for them to reach their goals it’s just boring.
You know to much... also it is an introduction and yes not a lot did happen in it. But thats why its going to have many chapters with emotion (hopefully) in it. I really cant say much because most of it is half baked and needs to finish cooking before I brown it and serving it to the whole family... god dam I have got to stop cooking food or answering a comment on an empty stomach. But yes there will (hopefully) be all those questions answered in the coming chapters.
Also I get the idea of the PER being terrorists but why can't I have them in a possitive light, I've seen stories where the HLF are the knights in shining armor. So why can't I have the PER in the way or the way I want them to be portrayed.
There’s nothing wrong with portraying them in a good light. It’s just hard to sympathize with them in a setting with operating Conversion Bureaus. Everybody who wants to become a pony can go to a Bureau and get it done. The only thing the PER does is ponifing people left and right without even asking. They aren’t help, they making things worse for both species to get along.
The PER reminds me of one of these groups that want to cure homosexuals. Both think they are in the right and doing people a favor. Both reject the idea that you can be happy without being a pony/ straight. Both think that people who are happy as humans/ homosexuals are either lying or in denial. The only difference is that people who forcefully ponify other humans are supposed to be sympatric while people who would blow-up an Anti-Gay vaccine at the Christopher Street Day are evil.
The HLF, on the other hand, isn’t any better. The stories that portray them as heroes often turn the ponies into complete monsters. Ten-Rounds for example turned them into the Borgs with Celestia as Hive-Mind. Other stories show that they ponies are completely willing to wipe out humanity if they don’t convert. In such stories the actions of the HLF are mostly justified and they can be seen as good guys.
In other stories, like the original TCB, where the ponies haven’t actually threaten them and they just want to blow up Conversion Bureaus “because it’s wrong” they are clearly the bad guys.
What does that means for the PER? To put in a nutshell: To make them sympatric you have to come up with a justification for their actions. Instead of forcefully ponify random passerby, they could help people who want to become ponies but can’t. Like people living under a dictator. They could smuggle in the serum and smuggle out the new foals. Or they could focus on the HLF instead of attacking mostly civilians.
But enough of my rambling I’m going to wait for the next chapters before my final judgment. Maybe I’m going to like the story after all.
I see what you mean, hopefully I'm not just going to have them as the HLF with the potion instead of guns... kinda why I put in the 'Ten Targets' thing in the synopsis and had something 'special' in store for him. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
What is a TCB story? and a PER story?
English is not mi native language, so I don't know what it is.
TCB= The Conversin Bureau: The story you are reading.
PER= Ponification for Earth's Rebirth: A group of ponies that the main character joins. They go around forcfully ponifying people.
HLF= Human Liberation Force: Basicly the bad guys in this story.They go around killing people who aline themselves with Equestria and they destroy bureaus.
Conversion Bureaus: Place where you can go to turn into a pony.
>>13927111392711 Oh wow thanks for clarifying it
I am attracted to this fic, MOAR!!!
How nice of you to say.
Ok i would like to apologize for my asshole comment its to early for me to judge this story ill give it a chance and who knows maybe i might like it
Apology accepted... I guess, I mean I didn't see it but I admire your honesty to actually apologise for being mean. But anyhow, hopefully its not going to turn into a 'PER are numbah won, you join us'.
>>19497791949779 I'm not gonna lie you really cant make the PER look like good guys and in my opinion their more like religious terrorists you know people or ponys who really think they are doing the right thing but as it goes on someone might stop and think "is this really right?" that can lead to some great internal conflict
Who ever said I was making them to be the good guys in a world of grey?
>>19499191949919 Grey and Gray Morality very nice
And perhaps, still is being re written cuz my HDD decided to fire itself and be a bitch so I can't recover the files.
>>19499601949960 Ya i derped out their