very much yay for your awesomeness!

This looks like a good read. Bookmarked. About 300 stories to read now, and I have to read all of 'em in a few days later on.

Hmm, I like where you're going, and what's up is very well written, but you're 17k words in and we seem to only now be starting the story proper. Are you planning for this to be an epic-length adventure? That would be awesome.

Also, in chapter 2, I'm pretty sure 'desert wizard' should be 'dessert wizard', unless Bon is some ancient spawn of Anubis or something.

>>13796261379626 Yeah, that's the plan. And thanks for the catch. Hilarious as Bon-Bon, Ancient Mistress of the Shifting Sands would've been, it wasn't what I was going for.

Wow, this is really under-rated. Looking forward to more!

Oooh yes, this is Vinyl as I like seeing her written. The story itself has potential as well.

Keep it up, I'll be watching.

>>14470301447030

Will do!

Image: http://i.imgur.com/ny7Lr.gif

^ A good reaction BTW.

>>14470941447094

Well, that's good. I think.

More. I demand more. MORE MUSIC WIZARDS! MORE ARC LIGHTNING! MORE VYNIL X TAVI!

>>14481751448175

AND SO DECLARED THE SUB:

"THERE SHALL BE MORE. SOON. ISH."

First things first, this is pretty good so far. The characters are written well and the banter is amusing, plus I'm intrigued enough by the plot and what happens next. That said, those are sort of the bare minimum for a decent adventure story. It's still too early for me to make a judgment call on how good this is.

At the most I can comment on some of the ideas here, and so far most of the ideas are pretty cool. Vinyl, Octavia and friends on an inter-dimensional adventure? Sure, sign me up as interested. Vinyl as musical mage thing? Also cool. Living amulet thing that snarks in Vinyl's head? Nice. Very amusing so far. Russian Octavia? That is so cool, I wish I'd thought of that. Seriously, did you come up with Russian Octavia, or borrow it from elsewhere? Because that's so damn cool, Russian Octavia is now my head cannon.

Anyway, in the end it's pretty good so far, the ideas here are cool and it has got the potential to be pretty great. Liked and faved, and I look forward to more.

Oh, and cliffhangers suck, and they're a bad habit for a writer to get into. Just saying. I'm already predicting that what Vinyl's seeing is going to be Octavia doing something cool/unexpected. Maybe sword fighting or something.

Oh! and just maybe something worth mentioning, but I have been known to write unreasonably long reviews from time to time and dropping them on unsuspecting authors. If you'd prefer I don't do that then let me know.

I rolled my eyes. Do you have an off switch?

Of course. It’s a very simple procedure. First, acquire a heavy, blunt object. Second, raise it above your head. Third-

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3617-1331535287441.jpg

Also, I NEED

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw302_1298830294413.png

I always use images to convey my thoughts.  

I love how you show that the background ponies are in relationships already. That way it's shipping, but it isn't a shipping story. If that makes any sense.

>>14533171453317

Thanks. I wanted the romance to be there for banter and drama purposes, but I didn't want to make it a focus of the story. That should stay (mostly) on adventuring.

>>14490041449004

I don't mind at all. I love reviews. Praise is great too, but things that actually help me improve as an author are things to be treasured.

For now my feeling on the cliff hanger...   now that is out. I picked this up cus it was a Vinal stroy an well i have enjoyed it so far. The humor is great, to me.  An the off switch line... funnny! Keep up the good work an i can;t , tho will have to, wait for more.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png

Alright, I would like to thank you for a rather interesting hour and a half of reading with a easily sauntered into spot in my favorites list. It may not be coveted, but its all I got.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia.png

Music is the fabric of the Universe? It's like Background Pony... but now there's FOUR OF THEM

I D'AAAAAAAAAAAW at your Vinyl x Octavia shipping.       This story is getting really good. I absolutely love this story so far. It is amazing.

:)  

btw *dessert

This definitely needs more readers!  The ideas you've got in this story are brilliant.  I really love how you detail the characters, especially with how Vinyl's immaturity shows through even during a state of inter-dimensional peril.   Also on the topic of characterization, I like how you portray both couples as being so different, yet so compatible.  I know this is seen with ships already, but I like how you make a point of it while keeping the main focus on the adventure.

This story has had great potential from the start.  Don't let that go!

NEED MOAR STORY!!!

PLS!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!

I'M ON EDGE!!

MAKE NORE NOW!!

>>14931731493173

Image: http://dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw980_40462%2B-%2BSweetie_Belle%2Bbasket%2Bsoon.png

Not sure if you read my blog post or not, but the next chapter should be up some time tomorrow.

Hopefully.

>>14934831493483

WOOT!

soooooooooooo awesome! can't wait for more although it starts a little slow

Holy crap this was a long one. Hope it was worth the wait.

>>15021581502158

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3782-779643399ac4677cfd9624cc8ff29e9c_500.png

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8106-869.gif

I always use images to convey my thoughts.  

... Slightly cheery for someone that just lost a valuable artifact.

Very nice, please keep going. You've gotten a lot better at action scenes, too.

Also: ex-special ops Redheart? I see that cross-promotion.

>>15032771503277

Heh.

>>15021581502158 hmmm let me think on that YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no thought needed!!!!!

>>15029061502906

You know, I think you're right. I went back and edited that scene a bit just now, let me know if it's better.

>>15049811504981

Yeah, it feels better. He seems polite and nice, but less "Hey! You kicked my ass, good job!" then he did last time.

YES. YES THIS WILL DO. HMMMMNNNNN :D

I hate it when stories are under appreciated, I mean, this story, at least, what I've seen so far, I kinda awesome and I can't wait for more

More please!

I've been checking every day to see if this updates, take your time though, quality is of much importance! This is my favorite fanfiction that I've read so far.

>>15834431583443

Thank you, that really means a lot. Work on chapter six has been a little slow so far, but I'll try to double down and get something out soon just for you.

*peeps in*  Hmm, eternal song in everypony?  Crazed gods?  Freaky monsters?  Music powers?  And Vinyl Scratch with a piece of sarcastic possessed jewelry?

Is this like a non-emo version of "Background Pony"?  Which is a great story and all, but just overflows with misery and torment.  SS&E is a hyper-sadist to his main characters.

>>16186311618631

You know, I haven't actually read BP yet, but since a couple people have made the comparison now I suppose I'll adress it.

I would honestly say TES as I've planned it now is less Background Pony and more FO:E or It's a Dangerous Business (NOT in terms of quality, but overall scope). That is, I'm going to try to make the main focus on adventuring, discovery, and exploration rather than deep introspection about the nature of life and stuff. Mostly because I'm not very good at writing that, and because depressed characters are no fun. I can't say the story won't ever stray into darker territory, and there's actually quite a good chance it will at some point, but I do plan, at least right now, for there to be a happy ending.

(Also the Lyra in this story is nowhere close to the Lyra in BP, if that's what you're worried about.)

>>16186701618670  Actually, what I was thinking was that Vinyl would be like Lyra in BP, only with Vinyl's in-your-face rockin' attitude and a whole bunch of crazy adventure stuff instead of 'should I slit my wrists now from the pain of knowing the universe will fade to blackness and cold and everything will be dark and dead forever?' mental anguish.  

>>16187531618753 In that case, you're pretty much spot on. I hope you enjoy it if you do decide to read.

>>16188051618805  I'm sure I will.  As interesting as some of those deeper stories may be, I am getting a bit annoyed at the propensity for them to conclude that the universe is pointless and will end in a black void of eternal nothingness.  Given that our universe does seem to have burst out of nothing, I find it silly to assume that another one, or many, would not simply pop up again.  The very existence of our universe means that something can arise from nothing.  

Ack, I'm thinking again!  Stop that brain!  Happy pony time!  No thinkey!

Good reading, but there were a few places that prove you could use an editor.

all, impressive-looking things normally normally faze me

Replace a normally with wouldn't.

The special types started appearing until later

I recommend didn't start.

That's all I can remember, now get to work on the next chapter.

>>16411051641105 Thanks. I do actually have an editor, but he/she is currently busy. I decided to push this one out early because I felt bad about leaving you guys hanging so long, but the rest of the errors should be corrected soon.

>>16411261641126 Good to know, and thank you!

“Be my guest. Between that thing and Aura, I’ve probably learned more in the past two days than I did in most of school school.” and  "Things that hat want to kill all of us." were the only mistakes I saw. Keep up the great work!

>>16415961641596 Augh. The things I miss without an editor... Thanks.

(Where are you, Skipper? I need you!)

So, I was considering doing a reflection-type blogpost about why the events in this chapter happened the way they did, and my personal thoughts on each party member's developing character, but the question is, would you guys read it? My last few posts have gotten literally zero attention (although admittedly, they weren't too interesting), so I'm just trying to gauge interest here.

>>16418021641802 Hmm, I dunno. I'm really enjoying watching their emerging characterization, and I'm not sure I want to have that experience influenced by outside forces. It's in the same vein as avoiding spoilers.

I really like the world you're building up here. The forest was especially interesting. It reminded me a lot of the forest from Princess Mononoke, and I found myself wishing you had gone into more depth about it just so I could get more of it. And the Stalkers are just plain cool. I would attempt to draw some fanart of that scene where they're fighting the group, but I can't draw worth a damn.

I get the feeling there may be a tabletop RPG world you may be making on the side of this, I don't suppose you have character sheets or anything like that?

Don't take this as a request, last thing we need is for the author to get distracted with sheets instead of writing the story. I want to see more.

>>16439411643941

Ha, funny you should mention that actually. I don't tabletop game much myself, but I actually do have a Google Doc that has sheets for pretty much every semi-original character I've ever written, attributes, alignments, and all. They're not very serious, but I've just found them a good method to organize the essence of each character in an easily referable way.

>>16425551642555

I suppose that's fair. And don't worry, I'm planning on expanding on the Wildwood a bit in Chapter Seven. That's all I'll say for now.

>>16439961643996

I do the same actually, I also reference any overarching tropes my characters fill. TVTropes is such a good resource if you're willing to loose the time you'll waste clicking every link. Its always good to know where you're going and how characters react otherwise the strangest things happen...

>>16443491644349

Oh, believe me, I'm no stranger to TVTropes, and I agree with both its usefulness and its ridiculous time-sucking qualities. If I had a dollar for every night I've been ready to write, only to get sucked away clicking link after link after link...

Stereo_Sub is best pony. This is my favorite story on this website. It is incredibly well written, amazing characters and pacing. You, sir, are fantastic. Keep up the good work!

P.S.

“You know, I think I DM’d a campaign like this once,”

>>16462401646240

You have no idea how much that means to me. Thanks a bunch!

This story is SO EPIC!!!  

THIS is the adventure story I've been waiting for from this fandom!  A bunch of ponies who get roped into saving the world... except this time they have to save the MULTIVERSE!!!  The characters are well-written, the cross-dimensional ties are interesting and sensible, and the reason the big baddie hasn't just taken over is logically viable as well.  I love it!

But there is one thing...

>>>“Yeah, it sounds bad, I know, but we’ve been doing pretty well so far, right? I mean, no one’s hurt, you’ve got a sword, I’m a badass lightning mage, we’ve got a guide... things could be worse.” >>>

  Oh god, Vinyl.  You just HAD to say that, didn't you?  It wouldn't be a proper adventure story if somepony didn't speak one of the 'PHRASES OF DOOM'.  Now they're bucked.

>>> Did you have your own personal raincloud following you around as a child or something? Get a stick stuck up your ass? Parents eaten by dragons? What?>>>

Silly Vinyl.  Fluttershy's parents were eaten by dragons, remember?  That's clearly the reason she's so afraid of them and noted specifically 'could eat a pony in one bite' when listing why she was afraid of them... because she saw it happen.  

>>16530971653097>>16531351653135

Thanks.

It really means a lot to me when you say that, let me tell ya. I'm trying to live up to the incredibly-high standard already set by the greats (Dangerous Business, FO:E, etc.) so stuff like this lets me know I'm on the right track.

Onwards and forwards to chapter seven!

That must be the first time I have read about a hoof picked, well prepared party heading out on adventure instead of an odd band of missfits brought together by fate to save the world. I mean there is no rule against it or anything. Let's see where this is going.

>>16532401653240  You're quite welcome.  I appreciate well thought-out stories.  So many end up derailing at some point, or altering only part of canon while ignoring the effects of those alterations on timeline and characters as so many stories do with Discord and Nightmare Moon, having their first appearances far more devastating to the ponies than the show canon, while maintaining the show canon that Celestia would not be more prepared to deal with these far more sadistic and deadly enemies had she faced such terror the first time around.  Seriously, if either had been slaughtering ponies wantonly in the past, do any of us really believe she would simply have left them to the Mane 6, or in the case of Discord, kept an imprisoned murderous god right where ponies could come into contact with him?  Would Celestia have welcomed back her sister so easily if she'd committed numerous murders of innocent ponies?  Or, knowing the EXACT MOMENT she'd return, allow NMM's release to occur without already having everything in place needed to stop her?  Too much was left to chance were it the case that NMM was violently evil.  Celestia has ruled a nation for over a thousand years herself.  Clearly, she is not that stupid.  Obviously, she did not think NMM would go so far as to kill anypony.  And why would she think that unless the past battle with NMM had not included the dark mare taking any lives.  She WAS immediately concerned with Discord, and even he didn't kill anypony.  Which means NMM had to be a far milder threat than Discord.  It defies all manner of common sense to assume anything else!  ARRRRRGH!!!

*pants in frustration*  I get so annoyed when stories are written without any regard to logical event progression and character action-reaction.  You've freed yourself from that by creating a whole new realm of exploration and using ponies that have fairly wide-open canon profiles.  But you've also had the forethought to note how the things happening in this nexus realm affect the other realms, specifically the sudden appearance of so many powerful villains back-to-back in the Equestria-verse.  THAT is the kind of detail I find VERY impressive.  You can keep the worlds somewhat separated from the meta-canon, and still find a way to intrinsically link them all within your story.  

And then there are all the needlessly grimdark stories.  Gore and horror should be given in small doses, applied when critical to plot advancement, as you're doing here.  I cannot count the sheer number of stories that end up going too far and ruining the narrative with lengthy, horrible atrocities one after another, described with gruesome detail.  Some things are simply best left undescribed!

And too, gore is a terrible cheap-shot for triggering emotional responses, especially when it happens to a beloved character or their family and friends.

Consider this little thing that I shall whip up right now in the spur of the moment, expanding on my flippant reason for Fluttershy's fear of dragons:    "The little yellow foal quivered within one of the puffy cumulus clouds, holding her breath as best she could as the ravenous beast settled upon the nearby cliff and took heavy sniffs of the air.  Heavily muffled gutteral screams, barely audible though clearly nearby, caused Fluttershy to perk her ears.  The voices, though distorted as if coming through a thick wall, and twisted in agony, were familiar.  It was with a barely contained gasp of abject terror and absolute suffering that she realized they were coming from the direction of the dragon... from inside the dragon.  It had swallowed her parents alive.  And they were still alive as its powerful stomach juices, strong enough to dissolve gemstone, quickly liquified their flesh.  Tears of hopelessness poured down her muzzle as the cries continued while the dragon continued to smell for her, completely unmoved by the sounds of suffering from its dinner as the buffered wails became more frantic, primal, and shrill for a minute before becoming choked and gurgling, then suddenly silent.  Dead.  Fluttershy couldn't breathe.  She shook uncontrollably.  She'd just heard her parents die in a dragon's belly.  She'd heard them DIE!!  And the dragon still wanted HER!!  She wanted to scream, to cry out and flee the place of pain and terror, but then the dragon would send her to the same gruesome fate.  She didn't want to die.  Not like that!  Run?!  Can't run!  Can't fly!  Mustn't scream!  Mustn't cry!  She couldn't breathe; she couldn't even take one breath to ease her aching lungs and frantically fluttering little heart, and perhaps it was for the best, as her eyes rolled back and she found a brief escape in the embrace of unconsciousness within the thin protective cushion of cloud while the mountain winds picked up and began to blow the many tufts of cottony moisture away from the cruel carnivore upon the mountainside.

Horrible, wasn't it?

I wrote that in a couple of minutes, almost as fast as I could type the keys.  When you know how to toy with primal fears, eliciting them from an audience is almost absurdly easy.  That's why I despise gore and focusing torment and after torment upon beloved characters.  It's too easy to write, and scrambles the rational thought processes of the reader such that they often miss the flaws in the narrative.  

Here, you're BUILDING our attachment to these characters.  You're giving us a reason to feel for them, while also giving them a chance at hope and not simply throwing Murphy's Law into overdrive, driving them deeper and deeper into hopelss despair until they meet a dismal end and Equestria is plunged into eternal night or torn apart in chaos or enslaved forever in a Changeling Hive or any of a huge number of needlessly depressing fics which sacrifice sometimes good stories initially for a cascading ending of dismal despair built upon a shakey foundation of semi-canon.

Wow... I have practically written a chapter's worth here haven't I!  I usually don't do that unless I'm discussing writin styles with 'The Descendant'!  

You realize this means that, so far, you have written something I consider in his league.  

>>16536631653663

...

*stares in awe*

Shit, dude, why don't you write more? If you can deconstruct something that deeply and that well, you obviously know the ins and outs of writing well enough to do something awesome of your own.

And once again, thanks for the praise.

P.S. We should talk more.

>>16539431653943  That's the problem.  I end up doing that to all my own ideas and it takes me months just to get an outline I feel is reasonably free of flaws.

Then I have to make the character bios...

Aaaaaand after a year without writing a single page of actual story I give up.  

Other problem is while I have a strong ability with technique, I tend to end up writing very dry long narratives.  My vocabulary often betrays me and I'll waste eons attempting to drag the right word out of my stuttering, staccato recall memory.  And, while I'm paying such attention to the plot development, I forget to add details of scenery and action.  I have serious difficulty enriching the narrative for long stretches.  I've mainly stuck with short stories.  I have one little practice scene posted here, the only pony story fragment I've written so far.  But I will be working on a fulll story soon.  I'm planning to start with a simple romance between 2 OC's of mine, which will let me put more focus on shaping the scenery and subtle emotional development rather than having an intricate plot line steal my attention.

>>16546021654602

Sounds good! Can't wait to see what you do come up with when you start.

just read first sentence...Great hook (likes maybe favs). Gotta go and read the rest now.

DJ-Pon-3 approved (already)

Maybe I should get a bug out bag ready. Not for the end of the world, but for those inevitably occasion when Twilight Sparkle's voice will sound in my head, asking: "Valiant warrior, I'm speaking to you from another world. We are in dire need of help, only you can save us!"

Then I could answer: "With overwhelming odds and low chance of survival? Count me in, let me just grab my bug out bag and my ax, then I'm ready to go!"

Also story is really getting started!

Hmm, the stalker's descriptions sounds a LOT like a Necromorph to me... still pretty bad ass. Keep it up!

I had this idea of epic magic bards a few weeks back, for a rpg campaign and sought: a dj with giant headphones would make a kick ass bard. And now you write this here story! Brilliant!

Now Lyra only needs to be a rocker then we have our bard dreamteam complete!

The whole concept of sonarmancer duels seems like a forced plot device to me. But I'll give you bonus points for epic music battle!

Now I want there to be a heavy metal pony even more.

Also I noticed, that in the beginning Octavia sheathed her blade in a leather strap under her saddlebag, then a moment later she picks it up from the ground, without explanation how it got there. I think you missed something there.

>>16594751659475 Oh, doy. I rewrote part of that scene and forgot to check it for consistency. Thanks for that.

As for the duels, what do you mean when you say that they're forced? I do have a deeper and more robust explanation for them lurking somewhere in my headcanon, but I decided to omit it since this chapter was pretty exposition heavy as it was. If you want to hear it, I'd be glad to tell you.

>>16584441658444 I've never played Dead Space, but I just looked up necromorphs and I can definitely see where you're coming from. Honestly, the main inspiration for the Stalkers was something that exists in real life: a praying mantis. I tried to evoke a very insectoid vibe with my description of them, and I hope I succeeded.

>>16597841659784

Lets see if I can explain this. There are "normal" ways for a person to acquire something from another person. Buying/trading, tricking, stealing and robbing. (with stealing I mean use of stealth, with robbing use of force.)

Now with dueling you established another way of getting things, that is not common for most of the readers. (I think, not for me at least.) Now I gained or lost a fair share of stuff betting (I bet you a beer you have too), but I think a situation like: "Oh, I really like those tires on your car! Race your for it!" is just really farfetched.

So it's unexpected, convenient and pretty much comes out of the blue too, thus giving me the impression of "forced".

Even apart from dueling as a use of getting stuff, it seems a bit strange. A contest between two or more people to see who is best, a race, a wrestling match etc is pretty common. But if you make a contest fighting each other with potential deadly force, it becomes strange. I don't think two gunslingers would start shooting each other, just as a friendly competition. Two swordsmen might, but if they are using sharp weapons and no adequate protection while doing so, they loose credibility, and I would expect something like that out of an anime.

Lastly is the name dueling itself, as the practice of dueling (as I'm familiar with it.) was a potential deadly fight between two noble men to settle a debt of honor. I have never heard it used to describe a friendly contest of any sort outside of Yu-gi-oh. I would call it a "Zweikampf" or simply a fight.

But, as I mentioned before, I would give it my suspension of disbelieve like I give it to most animes. (so you train little monsters and let them fight against each other? Alright, seems legit.)

I hope this makes things clear.      

>>16598951659895 That actually makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the feedback. I admit that it was slightly forced, basically a way for Vinyl to show off her powers in a way that would at least make some sense. Hopefully the future battle scenes will be better in that regard.

You wrote "earth pony pony" once.

Let me give my humble thoughts on this chapter and the story so far.

A felt quarter of this chapter was exposition about the realm, the gods, the quest etc. Most of it delivered from an plot item, which seems to serve no other function, then exposition. If you can not convey information while either advancing the plot or characterizing a character, don't do it. Try giving the reader the information some other way, ask yourself if the information is even important at that point in the story. (Show instead of tell.)

I think a map and compass and Aurora could have served the same function as the guide. Map and compass is obvious, and Aurora could have told them things from her personal experience, thus giving it more impact. "There are more thralls than just the shambling one. There are twisted abominations too, hulking creatures with black armor and legs like a mantis. Please, please be on your guard Vinyl! They can hide in these woods, and they hunt down the unwary." Add a few tears and shudders, and the reader gets the instant impression that she had seen those beast in action, probably lost friends to them, and that she fears them.

Which brings me to another thing: Aurora. I think she would work better as an actual corporal being than just a voice in Vinyl's head. She could interact with other ponies, be actually helpful.

I think it would actually work better, if Aurora would be replaced with Octavia. If Vinyl would have found Octavia hurt in the street, got her to Redheart, nursed her back to health, the two of them fall in love etc, and then Octavia reveals that she is a rebel from a dying world, Vinyl's quest would have become personal. Then she would have so much more motivation to go on that quest, save the world of her love, get the girl, you know, hero stuff. (And Nurse Redheart would have been introduced as well.) The reader wood have some much more reason too root for her success too.

Lastly the antagonist, the deathgod Mordred is a rather impersonal, looming threat. (even more so than Sombra)  It's just so vogue, not something you can grab, not something you can punch in the face. Not something you even want to punch in the face, not something you can hate, something you hope the heroes will be able to defeat in the end. You know, its like having climate change as the bad guy. You can fight climate change, but it doesn't make for a compelling story. Now if you have some Greenpeace activists fight a greedy, corrupt owner of the largest energy company in the world, that makes for more of a story. Other example, you could have your hero fight against nature. But how would he go about that? Now if you have Ahab, captain of a waling vessel, on his hunt for the white whale Moby Dick to get his revenge, then you have the protagonist fight nature on a personal, compelling level.    

I hope any of this is of helpful in any way. Cheers!

>>16602081660208

Jeez, what is it about my story that attracts these awesome, long, well-thought out comments? Not that I'm complaining, of course.

This is going to seem like an utter cop-out response, but I'm going to say it anyway:

Don't worry. I have plans.

For Aura and her history, for Mortem and making him someone the readers will hate, and for making the world itself seem more believable. The Guide will serve a purpose as well, although maybe not the one I first wrote it for.

I know that this is obviously a lot of promises without much weight behind them, but if you could stick around I'd be extremely grateful.

Edit: Thanks for the grammar catch. As much as enjoy pony ponying pony, that was not the time.

CLIFFHANGER ONWARDS TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! this one is really amazing and as previously stated, i'm off to the next chapter!

DJ-Pon-3 approved

"Adventure's out there!" Can't wait to read the next chapter!

DJ-Pon-3 approved

CLIFFHANGER SPOTTED ONWARDS TO NEXT CHAPTER

DJ-Pon-3 approved

So much raw power from Vinyl! I would love to see more duels in the future-this one was really good and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

DJ-Pon-3 approved

OCTAVIA! YOU WILL LIVE! YOU MUST LIVE!

DJ-Pon-3 approved

Sorry if any of you think this chapter's a bit lame. If you do, just know that I agree with you, and that the next one will (hopefully) be much more interesting.

This REALLY isn't helping with the whole "I have an essay due tomorrow" thing I got going on.

Ps: Nice twist with the dream, really curious to see where that's going.

Gotta have heartfelt moments to get the sense of how the character feels at times.

Well that felt inspired by Assassins creed. Not a fan of those games. That aside, this was still a slightly... not bad, but certainly not the best chapter yet.

Image: http://thatschurch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/tumblr_maq77ecMHG1qejf6u.gif

Just need to get one thing out of the way first. Stereo Sub is best pony. Ok now to the chapter. Great chapter! It's not lame. You did really well with portraying Vinyl's distress without making her seem like a cry baby or like she was just wallowing in self pity, it seems like she genuinely cares about those dead ponies. Though you did kinda breeze through the part where she remembered that Tavi was hurt. Vinyl didn't even go over to check on her, while I get that she trusts her friends and that they took care of her it seemed a bit out of character for her to barely give Tavi a second thought. Also I really liked the development between Vinyl and Aura. Keep up the great work man... girl.... I don't even know... irrelevant, keep up the good work! is this story going to turn into a really long and epic tale? because i'm not gonna lie... that would be amazing. i don't want this story to ever end. At least twenty chapters...? Plz? Here is a squee face to help my case   Hm I feel like a kissass... Meh you deserve it. If I ever have any serious criticism, believe me, you will get it. Kay bai!

>>18178661817866

Hm, I see what you mean about the Octavia part. I've gone back and added a little bit to that scene now. Let me know what you think.

As for length, the story's currently projected to be maybe around 80 to 120k words, but that's just a rough estimate. I am absolutely awful when it comes to any sort of planning, so it might end up being much more or much less than that, but yeah, that's around where I see it going.

Curious, the dream quite deliberately avoids clarity.  There is nothing to give certainty to the meaning of the events shown.  The few cryptic lines spoken could mean quite different things depending on context and thus have drastically opposing implications.

Meaning, as yet, we still know nothing.

I've learned to expect this sort of thing with many adventure manga.  

>>18183971818397  

In response to your additions:

Image: http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg

Went through this in one go, and it was not what I was expecting. I don't know what I WAS expecting, but I am certain that this is much better. Thought provoking, serious when it needs to be, funny interactions, the clear seperation and use of both music and magic for the purposes they were intended, and the introduction of story elements in a smooth manner. I will be reading the rest of this as fast as you can produce it.

>>18261381826138

Thank you!

Well, now I know I can bribe Redheart with a signed photo of Nathan Fillyan, in his Malcolm Reinholds costume. What mare could resist captain tight-flanks, anyway?

Looks like a story for my Top 5 box.

>>19397261939726

Why thank you.

I can't believe I was holding out on this chapter for so long

I mean, there's a Sonomancer's Guide

You rat bastard

I know exactly why you put that in

You rat bastard

Keep up the good work or I'll kill you

And more of Sonomancer's Guide

>>20683032068303

K

Yeah, I'm a butt.

Also, special thanks to Scootaluna for pre-reading, advice-giving, and general bro-ness. Ehs a cool guy who puts up with my shit and doesn't afraid of anything.

YOU'RE HERE!!! YOU'RE FINALLY HERE!!!!!! *SQUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*!!!!!!!!!!

Damn that's deep.

It updated! Oh my gosh I just love this story! Dat cliffhanger, though ...Actually, never mind, the all-in-all-awesomeness pays for that one!

>>20808362080836

Not a problem at all, In fact, I appreciated the opportunity!

I look forward to being able to do the same for you again for future chapters, and any other stories you might create.

I love this world so much, you have no idea. I love the characters, the conflict.... I love everything!