With the Ponyville Circuit coming up soon, Rainbow Dash thinks it would be a great idea if Derpy decided to compete in the race. However, something like that poses its own set of problems.
Chapters (1)
LunaUsesCaps
Joined 7th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Hallowed · 28k words · 107 20 · 4.1k views
- silveredchaos · 6.2k words · 35 5 · 1.1k views
- Bad Horse · 9.4k words · 139 11 · 6.2k views
- LittleBoyBlue · 3.3k words · 52 2 · 1.4k views
- Lev the Lurker · 1.9k words · 62 3 · 1.7k views
- tatony · 1.9k words · 91 3 · 2.5k views
- BaroqueNexus · 1.1k words · 150 77 · 3.1k views
Featured In8
- Dare to Derp!414 stories ·535 members
Derpy tales743 stories ·1,207 members
- Project Derpy Hooves214 stories ·354 members
The Cloud Kicker Fan Club and Winningverse Group188 stories ·1,599 members
Twilight's Library6,255 stories ·4,834 members
- TheAlmightySage's Selected Stories72 stories ·9 members
Meri's Favorite Stories1,559 stories ·70 members
Stories on Goodreads28,595 stories ·492 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.146 seconds
Total duration
993 users online
56,203 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Very nice.
Pre-read comment:
Looks leigt, right Derpy?
*nods head* Derp.
When you see Derpy wearing an eyepatch, you just know she's getting serious.
Excellent story, and i quite like the way your Derpy and Cloud Kicker interact.
Tagged for reading soon
Oh my god.
That was badass.
Liked and faved. I know it's not likely, as this story stands out spectacularly on its own, but I would totally read a sequel with Derpy's perilous mountain climbing adventure.
Well...that's a motherly thing to say, especially in front of Dinky: back-and-forth banter is one thing, but six-year-olds aren't exactly masters at decoding sarcasm. Also, point of reference: Dinky is light-blue/lavender--Sparkler's the pink one.
Hospitals are tax exempt.
Kind of confusing word order here.
You do this a couple of times.
The above aside, this was a pretty good read. Watching everypony (
) bounce off of each other was quite hilarious, and I cheered when Derpy went back to help Embers.
this was beautiful
but did she keep the eye patch after the race
could you mention it when she said
could you say eye or un blocke eye or something
Silly Derpy, numbers aren't math! You must be thinking of arithmetic.
In before featured.
That is a really good quote. I like it.
Reference alarms going off, but I have no idea what it's referring to.
I liked it! There were times that you wrote hands, or everybody though. Control F should take care of that.
I know you can't see me, but I'm giving you a standing ovation.
Rainbow Dash is best civil rights activist.
And I love your portrayal of Derpy's "issue" - it feels natural, and it's completely believable.
Also, Spike... the Pegasus? Dafuuu?
Awesome.
Just one quibble:
the 'I' is unnecessary.
Other than that, it's a solid read.
A decent story, but there are two things that completely threw me for a loop. First, did you seriously just have Cloud Kicker steal from a little kid? Second, a moon tax? I mean, seriously? I just cannot even wrap my brain around that.
I had really liked that story
Has some Fridge Logic issues, buuut...I like.
1495378
Mmm, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic comes to mind.
----
Aneighway! This story's gold.
Quite a good read. Rather liked Derpy's inner monologues. The Honoring of old principles was a very nice touch seeing as the pegasi are supposed to be militaristic in their history. Was kind of hoping there would have been a scene for Redheart at the event prefferabbly with Cloudkicker tossing up some one liner for a good laugh and to loosen Derpy up just a bit. Got jumbled around a few time while reading but still a pretty good story. Thank you for you work.
1494943
From personal experience, six-year-old children can and do pick up on that kind of sarcasm. There is a whole world of difference in facial expression and tone of voice between playful sniping and genuine anger. They are as far removed from each other as from the center thrice to the utmost pole. There is no way that Dinky has failed to notice the real affection behind the pointed words. From the two ponies closest to her in all the wide world.
Excellent story, I'm really glad that it was recommended to me by whoever it was that did so. If only I remembered who...
Very nice, I really enjoyed this.
The only thing that threw me for a loop: Your Cloud Kicker is quite close to the Winning-verse CK, but there are notably differences. I had to stop reading a few times and remind myself "No this is not the winning pony!".
I'm not sure what you could do about this though.
1640342
Oh, I had not realized this.
In that case: Way to go, well done!
Maybe you could point it out in the description for future readers?
This was fantastic, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Great job!
It was a grate work, I don't particular like the Winning-verse, it has some bumps here and there, The Life and Times of a Winning Pony started and had a good over all run but, that ending was not my cup of tea. But I digress.
This story is well told and well paced, it would have made a bit more sense if Derpy won the race and then went back, you know out of the heat of the moment and as an athlete it would have been more respectful if she would finish what she started, both for herself and her opponent and another rule of thumb in spots is that your brain seems to run on autopilot and muscle-memory takes hold, adrenalin floods your brain and any thought that may cross your mind comes to you more like a broken sentence, like this: "Must run. Fast. Fast." and a lot of "Um"-s, your blood can go in only one of two places your head or your body and in the end your body ends up with the bulk of it (and that last one is from personnel experience).
But that is my thoughts on it and I meant them to be constructive. I still liked it.
4813225
This is a really old fic I wrote way before LTWP was as big as it is now, which, believe it or not, was actually based off of GSphere's cover image I used here—a depiction of Derpy that made me think of Qordath's universe, which is why I chose to write it like that. To tell you the honest truth, I stopped following the story a very long time ago and have yet to finish it.
4815834
Whether you read it or not it don't mater, I just have some standing issues with LTWP, its resolution specifically. That is that and this is something else, you did a grate job on this fic over all and I really liked it.
Okay, I was gonna say, if this isn't at least inspired by the Winningverse, I'll eat my hat. <.< There's just so much extra stuff going on around the edges of this; it was so distracting. To say nothing of Cloud Kicker. I just can't help but think how cynical this vision of Equestria is. It was really off-putting. Plus the fact that Derpy gets a whole one aborted practice session before the race. At least she didn't win, though it looks like she easily could have.
6796247
lol anything i have ever done
surprised at cynicism