Ok, I hate to admit it but you have just made me love Gilda! Keep up the good work dude. Oh yeah and...

FIRST!

I've never gotten to do that before!

Sweet I like it

I can only guess that shadow strike is applebloom and the pony with zacora is probably sweetie belle... maybe

applebloom is best double agent

>>13819471381947

Agreed.

so will you happen to have changlings in this story or did nightmare moon destroy their nest?

>>13906751390675 Interesting question. The changeling threat hinges on the huge amounts of love found in Equestria under Celestia and Luna's rule. However, I think it's safe to say Nightmare Moon's Equestria doesn't have nearly enough love to feed a changeling colony, so I don't see them posing any kind of threat to this universe's Equestria. In the meantime, Nightmare Moon has been waging a war against her own people for the better part of her reign. She defeated Twilight only a year ago, and since then, she's set her eyes on Zebrica and the griffon's territory, since both nations pose some kind of threat to her, however minimal she may think it is. So, to make a long story short, I believe the changeling nest is still out there, perhaps feeding on the zebras or griffons. If Nightmare Moon conquers the zebras and griffons, I imagine her next conquest would be the changelings, but for now, I don't see them being one of her major concerns.

The changelings may make an appearance, though, so keep an eye open.

okay mind fuck i thought apple bloom was shadow strike but could it be sweetie belle???

really enjoying this story, I hope it continues.

>>13974051397405 Oh, it will.

spike is dead, I knew it would happen but it is still sad

lol i like brae brae he is funny and can't wait to see who shadow strike really is

ahh they are getting closer to the cmc being united

yay! CMC bringers of destruction!

>>14455161445516 I can't wait to get to that part.

++=AWESOME!

So Beautiful.

>>14901721490172 Thanks!

so when will you tell us who shadow strike is?

>>14970721497072 I believe that question will be answered in the next chapter.

>>14980071498007yay

So Celestia is still alive?

Okay, princess, you have some explaining to do.

ahh neutral gin do nothing and wait for the opportune moment that is what celestia is doing i am guessing

aww sweetie belle can't you see the reason you can't control your talent is because spoilerspoilerspoilerspoilerspoiler  once you do that you will be able to control it

i was wondering when the changlings would make an appearance

You make me want to cry...

But I really don't know why.

The tears have stopped.

Thank You.

hold up you guys are talking like spike didn't just fucking die!!

You know, sometimes I wish I had Pinkie's fourth wall powers. Not so I could just teleport in and hang out with ponies, but so I could bitch slap Gilda out of nowhere. Many times.

Hello there! You already know who I am, so no use introducing myself. Straight into the review then!

--WARNING: The following review may contain horrible jokes and puns in an attempt to lighten the mood. Viewer discretion is advised--

First impressions: I like it very much. The thought of Nightmare Moon winning when she came back really interests me, so I was very excited when I was given this story to review. In fact, this story was in my read later list. Funny.

Onto the facts now, I guess. Yay, criticism!

Spelling and Grammar: Aside from the rare typo (probably caused by the slip of a finger rather than actual misunderstanding) and the misspelling of "Appleloosa", the spelling was spot on. Paragraphs flowed smoothly and only a single sentence seemed awkward to me. (Well, the single one I could find.) Proper use of indents, capitalisation, apostrophes, the whole sha-bang. Which means the grammar is good too. I'm not sure what else I could put here, so well done!

Characterisation: Pretty damn good, I must say. Each character was very well done. You've matured the CMC, but they're still the same characters from the show, which is good to see. Sweetie Belle's anger management issues is a tad odd for me to adjust to, though. She's such a sweet character in the show. But I guess going through something like that would leave a few mental scars on somepony. Tortured for months, watching her sister die, and losing her cutie mark to necromancy and she only gets PMS. I'm surprised that she gets off rather easily with that.

Ha, I kid! Her character development is well done and believable. But a few PTSD symptoms wouldn't go amiss...

Scootaloo and Zecora both feel like they've been ripped from the show. You'd be great at writing poems, because Zecora's lines don't feel forced or awkward. The dread and terror of the situation never seems to leave the characters, so you've kept the air of "oh Celestia is we gun dy?" and it fits the atmosphere of the story perfectly.

And Gilda is still a bitch as always. Damn, I want to trap her in a cage and send her to a quill maker who is also a tanner that likes chicken.

Plot: Very well paced. You've weaved current events and the explanations of previous events together brilliantly. Plot points are beefed up with nice character interaction and it doesn't feel rushed, slow, or confusing at all. Oh, and bonus points for having the chapters similar in word count!

Miscellaneous:

Sweetie let out a soft moa. The sound of a-

Why did you leave out that "n"? Is he your "n"-emy?

“You tested it on Sweetie Belle first?” the princess asked, her eyes widening a little. “That’s a first.”

Thank you Captain Princess Obvious! Aside from word repetition and my intentional misinterpretation of her meaning of "a first", the line also doesn't sound like Celestia. We know it isn't Celestia now, but such a delicate operation would require Chrysalis to be able to emulate at least Celestia's slightly more formal language.

I... think that's about it.

Overall: Well written and entertaining. 6.472 x π ÷ 4 fengdingles out of 5!

Keep up the good work, Scribblestick!

~Page Flipper, reviewer for WRITE

Image: http://djotter.blossers.net/StorageBank/WRITE01.png

~May your days be filled with laughter!~

>>19849711984971 Thanks for the review!

the misspelling of "Appleloosa"

Gah, I thought I got rid of all those. Do you remember where you saw it? I can't seem to locate it on Fimfic or my word doc.

Fixed Sweetie's typo, working on "Celestia's" dialogue. May throw in some PTSD for good measure. Thanks for the tips!

~Scribs

>>19849711984971 Also,

You'd be great at writing poems, because Zecora's lines don't feel forced or awkward.

I do have some experience with poetry, in fact. Not much, but a bit. Zecora's lines are still infuriatingly frustrating sometimes, though.

(Joke) Alt. Title: The Last Crude Days

>>19850841985084 Well, there's the chapter name "New Appaloosa".

They stored their armor and bags in New Appaloosa’s small hotel

“That’s New Appaloosa,” Apple Bloom explained

after Nightmare Moon destroyed Old Appaloosa.

“We should wait ‘til we get to New Appaloosa,”

There's more than this. Just hit Ctrl+F and type in "Appaloosa". You'll find them. Look in chapters "Zebrica" and onwards.

>>19899831989983 Ahhhh. Looks like I misread MLP Wiki's entry. Thanks for pointing that out.

sweetie belle just learned that spike died :(

Poor Spike we finally learned your fate.

that should be a slight load off of scootaloo's mind

CCCCCCCCCCCcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

>>20464112046411 I totally read that in Sweetie Belle's voice.

Also, your screenname made me smile.

>>20470432047043 LoL

she neglected to pay attention to chrysalis. that is the first thing you do in a real battle. you never disregard an enemy especially one as powerful as the changeling queen.

ooh yay the epilogue is next right?

>>20583242058324 Final chapter is up next.

great story sorry to see it go but allas all things must come to an end. do you have any plans for anything else?

>>20588622058862 I always have plans for other things. Some of them may even be related to this.

I like story! I don't understand how more people don't like this!!!

Image: http://i.imgur.com/KlPrgwY.gif

P.S. That's a good Gif.

I am pleased to announce that this story (despite the tragedy of the Mane 6) is a great adventure story. I cried when Sweetie Belle revealed her past and I had minor flash backs to Fallout: Equestria (I haven't finished it and probably won't) because of the nostalgia associated with looking back at happier times. I was a little worried about the "traitor" chapter because I was worried something bad would happen but like everything I needlessly worry about, it turned out to be pointless. I don't see the problem with Gilda's bitchy nature because in retrospect she cared about Scoots and sometimes we act like jerks to protect those we love. I wish it could have been longer, but it isn't that bad and you redeemed yourself hugely when you didn't kill off my beloved Crusaders. Shame about Spike, but he is second to the Crusaders in terms of being rooted for.

I applaud you friend for writing an enjoyable story, the only negative I could possible give you was that it ended. I am so glad I ignored that voice in my head to ignore the Dark Tag. Thanks for writing!!!!

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