• Member Since 25th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sunday

Yukito


Trixie and Twilight are best ponies! (Diamond Tiara is best filly :D )

T
Source

Rainbow Dash learns that she has a sister, whose current whereabouts and status are completely unknown. It's not even known if she's alive.

Trixie discovers from a doctor that she has a sister who resides in Ponyville, and now has the chance to visit the family she never knew.

If you can't see where this is going yet, I won't spoil anything. Just read on and (hopefully) enjoy! :)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 80 )

Oh yeah, I gotta see this.
*adds to read later*

AW! that was an idea I had javascript:smilie(':pinkiesad2:');... Well too bad I will read it later.

This is promising. Granted the long lost sister card has been pulled with Trixie before, but not with RD to my knowledge.

I won't spoil anything

Kind of blew that with the obvious story art. :applejackunsure:

Actually, my mind is somewhat blown by the idea telegraphed in the summary. No sarcasm, no tricks, :trixieshiftright::rainbowhuh: It frightens me how similar they can be at times.

The Great and Powerful Trixie!!!:rainbowlaugh:

Enjoyable story, though a bit fast paced.

Also, found one error:
Twilight waited nervously in Rainbow’s room. - Pinkie's room, no?

Interesting concept. I will definitely be reading this.
1364988 Where have you read 'the long lost sister card' involving Trixie? This is the first I'm hearing of this.

1365176 The 'Long-lost Brother/Sister' card is a standard. It fits almost anyone.
But I don't recall seeing it pulled on Trixie, either.:trixieshiftright:

*Looks at summary* *See Pic* :pinkiegasp:

1365175

Fixed! Thanks for pointing that out ^_^

Le 1609 word chapter- Meh
Suddenly a 19 908 word chapter appears- WTF?!?!?!

Warmed my heart :twilightblush:
Thank you :twilightsmile:

1365176>>1365262

On fanfiction.net google docs via Equestria Daily and on DA I've seen it before HOWEVER usually Trixie turns out to be Twilights long lost sister not RD.

So.......Rainbow Dash is a homophobic....wasn't expecting that.

Well I enjoyed it, nice making Rainbow and Trixie sisters for a change instead of Trixie and Twilight like what usually happens in most "Trixie has a long lost sister" stories. The only part I didn't like was Dash's homophobia and brief abandonment of Trixie, it came completely out of left field and felt out of character for her. She's the Element of Loyalty, the worst she'd say is something along the lines of "You're a fillyfooler, wow that's... unexpected." or the like since she's prone to speaking without thinking. She'd would of still stuck by her sister she'd just begun to bond with and defend her and Twilight from anyone who had a problem with same-sex relationships.

Tears were shed. Insta like. :pinkiesad2:

This was amazing... I will cancel my similiar ideas

Dash as her sister? It... actually fits rather well.

1365262 1365176
One place I've seen it is in Ciroton's For Want of a Dawn (and other, earlier, fics by the same person). In that case, it was Twilight. (Twilight's probably the most common "long lost sister", because they're complimentary and opposed character types.)

Great story loved it Trixie as Dash's sister interesting idea. I know a story where Trixie is Twilights sister.

Interesting story, MOAR!

In any case, the Trixie-Twilight shipping was totally a surprise, not sure how I feel about that. If you want to continue, you might want more lead in since it feels more like confused Twilight than infatuated/in-love Twilight.

In any case Twi-Luna is much better anyway. :twilightsheepish:

1365688
Clearly you don't expect the unexpected! Why would you expect the reverse? Just because everybody seems to like shipping characters doesn't make either way canon. Besides, it's not exactly homophobia, that seems to be misused a lot. Disagreeing with something in general principle and fearing/being scared of it are not the same. Admittedly which one the author was aiming for is a little unclear to me.

1366288 Heh, heh, heh. Ambiguity: It's not just for breakfast, any more. :trixieshiftright: :rainbowkiss:

I finally finished reading this fic. Another great Trixie story, Yukito. This story will definitely be fav'ed.

I do not know what to think about this one. You did make it so long that it took me a few hours to read and I think you over did it with RD. Plus, I think you are going a tad to fast. I like the concept though.

This story is amazing, though there were 4-5 mistakes I saw. That's like 1 mistake per 4000 words, nice

I liked this story in the beginning but I got a real bad taste in my mouth when the subject turned to homosexuality.
The concept of same sex relationship is a complex ethical dilemma, not something to be simplified as "tolerance" and "intolerance", and negative attitudes need have nothing to do with a phobia, which is an extreme reacting and erratic fear of something reasonably benign (like arachnophobia, and agoraphobia).

You make fun of people that have the "phobia" construct a strawman by giving someone, with a simplified understanding, have to either "learn a lessen" that they quickly accept, or be made a complete fool of. The concept of "homophobia" and "islamophobia" are equivalent and equally flawed.

Not only is this technique disgusting, it is in itself a sign of intolerance and hatred, and frankly I do not think that this should be allowed on this sight, as it is nothing but demagogic hate mongering disguised as tolerance advocacy.

It should be removed from this sight primarily because it is so political charged, and FIMFiction is not the place for political discussions.

1374759

Uh...Sorry if I offended you? Honestly, I don't understand about half the stuff you said, and I don't wanna get into some big debate or argument about anything. I wasn't trying to put some kind of hidden meaning behind this other than "accepting people for who they are" and "family is important" (which weren't really that hidden, tbh), and if you found something that offended you, sorry, but that wasn't my intention.

It is not a question of offending me, it is on the other hand distasteful and not befitting this site or this community to start a discussion of this nature.
This is not a question of having a story with a same sex relationship, clopfic of any kind is not something I appreciate but I can accept that there are people that do.
No the problem is when the whole "gay" thing, becomes a central plot device. In a normal story that touches "relationships" you can change the gender of one of the partners without changing the overall plot. Here you make the attraction become a plot devise.

You make it into a political tool advocating your view, while at the same time ridiculing your opponents, by using several highly manipulative techniques .

I do not think that this kind of story have any place place on this sight. I have reported you and requested this story to be banned for the above reasons.

There is enough places on the internet where you can spread views like this. This is supposed to be a friendly sight not a battleground for LGBT or any other political controversial ideas.

1375219

...So you're offended I have homosexuality in the story? That's what I'm getting from your comment.

Whatever the case, I'm not trying to make any kind of political statment, and I'm not interested in being drawn into some kind of ethics debate. I simply wrote a story, that is all.

Any future comments of this nature will be ignored. Just wanted to state right here that this isn't some kind of secret politcal weapon or whatever.

1375403
I thought I made it very clear that it was not about having homosexual relationships in your story in it self that was the problem, if Rainbow had just said "Oh okay" to Trixie's request the story would have ended very differently.

Pretty good writing overall, and definitely a new premise, but I feel the pace was kind of rushed. Several times, you introduce a conflict (Dash not believing Trixie is her sister, Dash rejecting Trixie when she turns out to be homosexual) only to resolve it in the next five paragraphs. I think you could have done with detailing things a lot more and slowing the pace a little.

You have great potential as a writer, and this is good, but with some more work, it could be much better.

As others have said, a bit rushed. But the elements used are rather original. Trixie as Dash's sister. I can so see the resemblance. :rainbowhuh::trixieshiftleft:

Looks good, but this chapter at least could seriously do with some slowing down.... You can't just introduce two main characters, show a mother dying, and pull two separate long-lost sister reveals in 1600 words without it being the case, well... obviously you can... but you can't do it in such a way that it really brings out the full emotional potential of it all. Hopefully with most of the exposition out of the way the next chapter will be less rushed.

All of that being said, I am pretty interested in the story, I have never seen anyone with an idea like this, the two seem like a pretty good fit though, so I can hardly imagine why...

Dawwwww, that ending.... this chapter was FAR better than the first, I really enjoyed it, but I have to be honest, I dunno about super traditional Rainbow Dash, but it made for some interesting conflict, so that's that I suppose.

The only problem I had with this chapter.... Trixie's magical aura is LIGHT BLUE not purple!!! :trixieshiftright:

1387172

I usually use blue as her aura, but for some reason I wanted to use purple for this story...No idea why, maybe I temporarally lost my mind :S

As for super traditional Dash, I agree (I usually ship her with Fluttershy myself), but I got the idea into my head that the crisis would be Dash disapproving Trixie's sexuality, and it sorta stuck. I also wanted it to be a potential plot point if I ever decide to do any sequels to this (I have plans, but I'm not certain yet).

Great stuff. You really like writing Trixie, don't you? Especially shipped with Twilight. I like it, you do it very well. And this story itself is great, it really is.
1364997 I think that's a joke; there's that picture, and the rest of the description makes it obvious too. Plus, the whole 'If you haven't figured it out yet' line.

this was actually better than i thought it would be. good job.

an interesting story but the whole shipping thing and OC's getting introduced are just a huge waste and very bad idea all around. What purpose do they even serve? Why would you even want to have them in the first place when they only distract from the main theme of the fic to begin with? It's like you are intentionally trying to make your story less

I enjoyed reading the story, but those things seriously put a bad note on the whole thing. Luckily I managed to edit those things off my brain for good as I read them, but they still left a bad taste after I got done with the fic

1399196

Well I put Swift in incase I ever make a sequel to this. If I do, one of the ideas I had would be Rainbow and Swift going on a date, and Trixie being the "over-protective big sister", stalking them and making sure Swift doesn't step out of line. I was gonna put a canon male Pegasus in instead, but couldn't decide which one (out of the very few choices), so I just made one up real quick.

Twixie was in there simply 'cause I couldn't resist :fluttercry: That and if I ever do the above idea, I think it'd be fun to have Trixie dragging Twilight along as she watches Rainbow's date, with Twilight being the voice of reason, telling Trixie she's being silly.

1399611
yeah, but the thing is that that fic doesn't affect THIS one. Those things simply have any room in this tale, and are coming more of asspulls, out of character moments, and idiot balls thrown around to make the characters do what you want them to.

Look, the rest of the fic, I love the tone, the interactions, etc., but those things you are forcing into the story are like stepping on a lego piece in the middle of the night while you go to the bathroom.

I demand more. This content is extremely relevant to my interests. If more is not granted trixie will be angry.:trixieshiftleft:

Ugh... this story is really bland. I like the concept, but you pretty much spoiled it by making it too obvious. It is so incredibly predictable. This could have been a great story, but instead, it's merely decent. The way Dash goes from annoyed to loving, then suddenly hateful due to homophobia, then to accepting... with those kinds of mood swings, she must be either bipolar, in heat, or pregnant. No, scratch that; not even those can describe such sudden and extreme flip-flopping.

I like how you inverted the common trend by making her homophobic instead of a lesbian, but you failed to pull it off believably. I think that's why that political correctness troll was so offended earlier (Sigh... it's that kind of thinking that ruined Derpy's cameo in "The Last Roundup").

I also believe the Twixie ship is completely unnecessary. It seemingly comes from out of thin air and only serves to add (at best) a marginal amount of excess drama. Slapping on shipping for no reason is never a good idea.

I also see quite a few typos in there.

tl;dr version: good concept, mediocre execution
Not deserving of either up or down vote.

I must say it. Trixie was faster.

Good concept, mediocre execution? Bah, until I see something similar I can only say that I liked it. Admitably RD is definitely a flipflop... like Rarity in the show:raritywink::raritydespair:

The homophobia infused hate I can blame shock. But she suddenly loves, then hates, then loves, then something else.

Gotta agree with alot of post here. It was a great story but the pacing and the way it was done was lacking. I could see this type of story taking chapters upon chapters to finish and being really really good through the whole thing.

Login or register to comment