A Winning First Impression
The Study of a Winning Pony
Chapter 1: A Winning First Impression
I was ambushed.
“Let’s bang.”
The surprise attack caught me at a moment of vulnerability. I was in the middle of drinking from my cup of punch when the sudden and crass nature of Cloud Kicker’s proposition caused me to choke on the drink. The punch caught in my throat, and I immediately started to cough violently as the liquid burned my esophagus.
My assailant grinned at me and my suffering. “Aw, I was hoping to get you to do a spit-take. I’ll have to try harder next time.”
I wanted to reply with something snarky at Cloud Kicker, but that is a little hard to do in-between coughing fits and your eyes watering. My cheeks also seemed to be burning. Ugh, the stuff had even gotten into my nostrils. I could hardly breathe. At the rate I was going, my tombstone was going to read: ‘Lady Twilight Sparkle, Favored Student of Celestia, Element of Magic, Redeemer of Princess Luna, and Sealer of Discord. Savior of Equestria. Killed by a cup of punch.’ Not exactly the way I wanted to go, but a distinct possibility based on how I felt at the moment.
“Hey Cloud Kicker,” said Rainbow Dash as she flew to my defense. She put her hooves on her hips, and hovered down so that Cloud Kicker could see her scowl. “I thought I told you my friends were off-limits!”
“Relax boss.” Cloud Kicker placed a hoof on Dash’s chest to push her back, and put some distance between the two of them. She gave Dash a mischievous smile. “You know my rule about not banging your friends. I was just teasing her a bit, that’s all.”
Yea, totally just teasing me with the attempt at equicide. I let out another set of deep-throated coughs.
Cloud Kicker pointed a hoof at me. “She looked like she was getting bored with the party, and was standing over here all alone.” She wrapped her lavender foreleg around my neck, and dragged my head next to her body before I could react. “So I decided to liven things up for her with my typical Kicker charm.”
It had been true that I had not exactly been living it up here at one of Pinkie Pie’s frequent parties. Pinkie had not exactly left me with many choices about coming to the party as she dragged me from my good book on ancient pegasi culture and history. What was this party for again? A few dozen ponies milled about talking with one another, enjoying the concession table, and were playing the party games Pinkie had set up. In all honesty, the parties all blended together at times. I think this one had something to do about a promotion or two at Ponyville’s Weather Service. It would explain the higher than average number of pegasi at this party.
Anyways, even if I wasn't having as much fun as I would've liked, I didn't need Cloud Kicker’s brand of fun to help me along. I worked my head out from under her leg and stepped away from the offending pegasus. My attempt at an intimidating glare was undermined when I had to turn away to let out another painful cough. She seemed completely unconcerned as she ran a hoof through her two-toned blonde mane.
Rainbow Dash scrunched her lips as she contemplated the situation. She nodded her head after she seemed to have come a conclusion. “Alright, just make sure to walk the line.” She pointed a hoof directly at Cloud Kicker. “It wouldn’t look good for the local weather manager to beat down her newest assistant weather manager, but don’t think I won’t do it if you cross the line.”
“I know the score boss,” Cloud Kicker said with a salute.
With that taken care of, Rainbow Dash turned to me and she gave me a small frown. “You okay there Twilight? Looks like she got you good there.”
“M-huh-y...s-surrr-huh-vival is-s-s a.... dis-eck-tinct... possi-ibil-l-lity,” I wheezed out before I was sent into another coughing fit. I was starting to catch my breath again, and I rubbed at my eyes with a hoof to get the tears out of them. Dash looked unconvinced with her raised eyebrow. “No really. I’m ok. Nothing to worry about.” I cleared my throat and blinked my eyes a couple times.
“Let me get you a cup of water Twilight,” said Cloud Kicker with way more cheer than I thought was appropriate for a mare that was getting enjoyment out of my suffering.
“How magnanimous of you,” I said flatly. She gave me a wink as she walked off to the concessions table.
I shook my head in irritation, and turned to Rainbow Dash. “Is she always like that Dash?” Cloud Kicker belonged to Dash’s circle of friends and co-workers, and I honestly had not interacted much with her. She had hit on me both times-or at least-I think that’s what she’d been doing. It wasn’t really a field I had a lot of experience in. In any event, I did not want what she had offered. “Doesn’t it get annoying to be around her all the time? Given you are her supervisor and all.”
Rainbow Dash placed her hooves behind her head, and leaned back casually. “She’s cool - we’ve been friends since Flight Camp after all. Cloud Kicker just needs to be reminded where the boundaries are every so often.” She thumped a hoof to her chest. “Hey, if her teasing really bothers you, just come to me and I’ll straighten her out. Sometimes she doesn’t know where a pony she just met’s limits are.”
I looked at Cloud Kicker as she worked at pouring a cup of water. She was also taking the opportunity to talk with another pony who had become the target of her attention. “So is…that type of thing normal for her?” I thought it odd that Dash would single out one specific pony as one who was not allowed to interact with us.
“Egh, banging a lot of ponies is her thing,” Dash said noncommittally.
I raised an eyebrow. “Uh, how many is ‘a lot?’”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Pft, I would need an abacus specifically for her to keep count of something like that Twilight.” That caused both of my eyebrows to rise. “If I had to guess, she’s probably gotten to half of Ponyville by this point.” I was hoping she was exaggerating. She had to be exaggerating for comedic effect. Right?
Dash shrugged her shoulders. “And as long as she isn’t trying her moves on my friends, I honestly don’t really care what she is doing with other ponies. I may be her boss, but what - or who - she does in her own time is her own business as long as she does her job. Which she does.”
I did not have to forcibly remind myself to close my jaw. “That’s ugh…wow…ugh, yea.” I gave an awkward chuckle. Suddenly the back of my neck where Cloud Kicker had touched me crawled a bit. The things you learn about a pony that changes your opinions of them…
I needed a change in conversation. Luckily it looked like Cloud Kicker had become distracted at the concessions table by a stallion. I decided not to think about what they were talking about, and Cloud Kicker’s ultimate goal. “So, uh, how are things with Pinkie Pie?”
“It’s pretty cool,” said Rainbow Dash. She looked to the other side of the room and grinned at Pinkie Pie. The pink party pony seemed to be in the middle of trying to get half the room into a song and dance number about cloud pushing. “We’re having a lot of fun right now. With pranks and hanging out and stuff. No big deal.” From what I had heard it had taken quite a bit of doing to get Dash to take a hint about Pinkie Pie’s feelings for her. And some ponies said I was socially oblivious.
“I’m happy to hear that Dash.” What is something nice to say in a situation like this? “I hope it works out between you two.”
Dash grinned at me. “Pinkie and I are pretty awesome together. Don’t worry about it. ”
Worry? Why would I worry? I suppose there is the fact that all of us being able to use the Elements of Harmony depended on our bonds of friendship. A couple of my friends being in love with one another should not interfere with that. Love is just a more friendly kind of friendship, right? What is the worst that would happen? Well, Dash and Pinkie could end up breaking up. What would happen if their break up was so bad they would not be friends anymore? Would they be able to use the Elements? What if something attacked Equestria and they needed the Elements but they did not work anymore? What would Princess Celestia say? What would we do? What if I was dooming all of Equestria by letting her friends date one another?!
Calm down Twilight. Keep it together. You do not want another episode like with the the Want It, Need It spell. Just count until you calm down like that book on stress suggested.
I had counted to the prime number of five hundred forty one when I heard, “Twilight? You ok there.” I noticed that Dash was waving her hoof in front of my eyes.
“Yes, nothing’s wrong,” I said in a higher pitch then I had intended. Dash squinted one of her eyes at me. “Why would anything be wrong? Because nothing is wrong, right? Certainly nothing that could threaten all of Equestria and ponykind.”
Her slanted eyes suggested she was not convinced all was well. Even if everything totally was. “This isn’t one of those things where we are going to need to get Spike and write to the Princess to calm you down, is it?”
Seven hundred eighty seven. “No, no, I’m good,” I said. I gave her a reassuring smile. At least I hoped it was.
Dash did not seem to be buying it as her face scrunched up at me. “You sure? Because you are acting weird again”
Nine hundred ninety seven, there, all calmed down now. “Of course I’m sure. No need to write to the Princess. I just got distracted…” Change of topic, change of topic, change of topic. I glanced desperately around the room with my eyes desperately and I saw my opening to one side. “… By how Rarity and Applejack were doing with one another.” Clever pony. Just take those contingency plans for love potions and spells you just came up with, and bury them out in the woods in your mind. You’ll know where to find them if you absolutely need them…
I pointed a hoof towards the pair as they glowered at one another near one of the walls in the room. They had been like that for awhile now, ever since the two of them had a private conversation about being fashionable versus practical. At least the conversation had been private before the two of them had steadily and progressively raised their volume with one another. It had ended with the two of them agreeing to disagree, loudly. Afterwards, I had tried to talk to the two of them to resolve what I thought was a growing friendship problem, but I had been immediately stonewalled from helping deal with whatever was the problem. The two of them had insisted that they were fine, and that they were enjoying each others company. I had felt increasingly unwelcome and decided to excuse myself.
Rainbow Dash turned to see who I was pointing at. Her mouth moved from side to side in contemplation. “Oh, they just need to get on with it and bang already.”
That thought churned around in my head for a moment. I received back an error. Processed it again and came up with- “Wait, what!?” I barely kept my voice below a shout. Only those ponies near us turned to look at us in confusion.
Dash sighed in exasperation. “Bang. You know? Sex? Sleeping with one another without the actually sleeping. Come on Twilight, you’re supposed to be the egghead around here.” That statement had a little more snark that I entirely liked.
I frowned at Dash. “I know what banging means.” That fact contributed to why I nearly choked to death on punch earlier. “What I mean is that they are spending a lot of time together, but they seem so angry with one another. I thought those two had gotten closer when they got to spend some time together at the sleepover in the library.” Ugh, I hope Dash did not construe that the wrong way.
Dash seemed ready to say something when something caught her eye. She turned to see Pinkie Pie hopped her way over to the two brooding ponies. “Hiya girls, howya doing?” she said in her usual cheerful mood.
“We’re fine Pinkie,” said Applejack in a gruff manner as she pulled her hat further over her face.
Rarity puffed up her mane a bit with a hoof as she turns her head up and away from the other two. “Yes, just fine darling.”
Pinkie rubbed a hoof under her chin. “Are you two sure? You both seem to be all grumpy wumpy today. Want to play one of the party games? That’ll cheer you two up!”
Applejack sighed. “It’s fine Pinkie.”
“But-“
“She said she was fine Pinkie,” interjected Rarity firmly.
“I-“
“Ah can speak for mah’self just fine Rarity,” said Applejack.
“Ok, but-“
Rarity humphed. “I just thought it would be fine if I confirmed to Pinkie that we are fine.”
“Could I-“
Applejack glowered at Rarity. “Ah think she is more than fine at figuring things out on her own Rarity.”
“Fine then.” Rarity somehow managed to seem more disinterred in what was going on then she had already.
“Fine,” confirmed Applejack, and she tipped her head and hat to look away from the other two.
Pinkie Pie looked between the two in confusion. “Are you two sure you’re fine?”
Rarity turned to Pinkie for the first time. “We told you, we’re fine.”
Applejack frowned deeply at Pinkie. “Right, fine.”
Pinkie Pie started to open her mouth when Rarity stopped her.
“Fine!”
Pinkie turned to Applejack with a hanging jaw.
“Fine!”
“Okie dokie lokie,” said Pinkie Pie in a pitch that was an octave or two short of being a squeak. She slowly proceeded to back away. She looked like pony dangerously close to being caught between two angry dragons.
I tilted my head at the scene. “That was painful.”
“Like I said, they need to bang already.” Dash shuffled her wings. She looked across the room and frowned. “Heh, if you don’t mind, I think I need to talk to Pinkie Pie.”
I looked and saw that Pinkie Pie was now by herself to the side of the room. She seemed dejected as she fiddled with a couple pieces of some board game. “Yea, of course. Tell Pinkie I enjoyed the party if I don’t get the opportunity,” I told Rainbow Dash.
“You know you can depend on Ponyville’s most loyal pony.” Dash saluted with her usual bravado.
“Hey Rainbow,” I said right as Dash started to fly off, and she halted to turn back to me.
“Yea Twilight?”
I asked what I'd been wondering about since I got to the party. “So um, I don’t see Fluttershy. Have you seen her today?”
Rainbow Dash looked at Cloud Kicker as she seemed to be wrapping up her discussion on some plans for later that night. Plans I was trying really hard not to hear or think about. Dash frowned when she spoke. Based on Dash’s demeanor, I guessed that she disapproved of Cloud Kicker hitting on everything with four legs more than she originally let on. “Yeah, I’m going to guess Fluttershy isn’t going to be here.”
“Oh.” I sighed in disappointment. “I see. You better see to Pinkie then.”
The Element of Loyalty looked at me with concern for some reason. “Just try and have some fun at the party. Alright?” Dash seemed torn as she looked back and forth between Pinkie and I.
“Yea, I’ll make sure to do that,” I said. “Have fun with Pinkie. She puts so much work into these parties I sometimes wonder how she even gets to enjoy them. So make sure she does.”
Dash gave me a final shallow nod, and flew over to where Pinkie Pie was. The party pony’s spirit rebounded immediately upon seeing her marefriend. The two of them seemed to get right into it as they began setting up the board game Pinkie had been looking at earlier, chatting it up excitedly all the while looking at earlier. Good for them.
I, on the other hand, seemed to be batting zero with conversations today.
I sighed as I was now left alone again. I did not particularly feel like jumping into the spiked pit trap that seemed to surround Rarity and Applejack at the moment, and I got the sense that it would be best to leave Dash and Pinkie to their quality time together. I did not really know any of the other ponies in the party, and without Fluttershy it seemed I was going to be a fifth leg no matter where I went. I could deal with being alone in the library. That was normal and preferable when I was doing my studies. Alone in a crowd. At a party none-the-less. It was… uncomfortable. Old memories from school resurfaced.
“You want to know what a crime against ponykind is?” I nearly jumped when I heard Cloud Kicker tisk-tisking at me from behind. I spun to face her and saw that she held a cup of water on her wing. She smiled at me and offered the cup. “A cute-as-a-button librarian like you being all alone. We really need to get you a stallion or marefriend.”
My cheeks burned as I lifted the cup up with my telekinesis. “That’s… not necessary.” It really was not. “I’m just not looking for that type of relationship in my life.” There was just not much point to it for me.
Cloud Kicker gave a short laugh to my face. “Now that’s a lie. Nopony doesn’t need a good banging every now and again. Even Dash has a good marefriend to bang around with now, and she’s the most sex-disinterested pony I’ve ever known.”
“Call me Nopony,” I snarked back as I tilted my cup slightly towards her for emphasis.
Cloud Kicker shook her head as she smiled at me. “No, no, no. I know for a fact your name is Twilight Sparkle. I couldn’t forget the name of a pony as adorkable as you.”
I really hated when somepony undermined my snarkiness. By hitting on me on top that. And really, adorkable? That wasn’t even a word. “Whatever,” I said, not letting her get a rise out of me. I was wise to her ways now, and I was not going to let her get to me anymore. I drank from the cup of water.
“So, think you can get me into a banging session with Princess Celestia?”
I choked on the water, and spit the contents right into Cloud Kicker’s face. I went into another painful coughing fit as I was mortified by what she had just said.
“Yes! A spit-take!” She pumped her hoof in excitement, completely unconcerned with the water that was dripping off her face. “I knew I could do it!”
I was so happy that I did not have to deal with Cloud Kicker on a daily basis.
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I couldn't possibly imagine why this scenario seems so familiar.... *liarjack*
This is good stuff. I was waiting for this come out just to get a taste, but I'll have to read the ones before this, which i am doing presently.
That first line: "Let's Bang." Killed me. That's just a great way to start off a story.
*edit: before featured*
Cloud Kicker, banging, victory, comedy. Seems legit.
Also stars Best Pony.
Awesome start, ill be waiting to see where this goes.
This story seems to show good promise.
I'll follow it and see how it turns out
HUZZAH!! The winningverse continues to grow!
Love it! MOAR!
My gosh... poor Twilight.
I think someone should get Cloud Kicker drunk and wake her up alongside one of Dash's closest friends with no memory of what happened.
Of course, we would know.
And then send her into a panic attack overdrive.
Or worse yet, wake up with Dash herself.
Wait, this is your FIRST fic
This is great, Liked Faved Watched!
Great start! Very much looking forward to more.
Huh? Winning Pony side story? Approved by Chengar?
Must read.
Ahh haw haw haw haw haw haw. Laughing about all but the romance.
So very Twilight, think we can get Tara Strong to do some voice overs?
And Twilight, you should know better than to tempt fate like that with that last line. Tsk tsk.
There is no way i wont read this.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-tJaMEyvPCV0/T2ZQwHoZPGI/AAAAAAAABRk/OdFAkAboRZQ/s400/OhBoyHereWeGoRainbowDash.jpg
Oh, you had to say it, Twi. Let the trolling begin...
Love this. Favorited and have a thumbs-up.
Both characters (Cloud and Twilight) are bang-on (giggle). Keep up the good work. Like everyone else, I can't wait to see where this goes.
And more awesome InuHoshi art! Win to the max!
Could have used another read through before posting but otherwise...fun little story. I think my favorite part was when Twilight tried to change the subject from the potential disaster of two elements of harmony dating....to Applejack and Rarity.
I also look forward to seeing how Twilight ends up getting assigned to studying Cloud Kicker, since she seems determined to not write the princesses about...this...oh. my. god. Is this you trying to tie into the chapter of Winning Pony with Luna?! Is THAT why Luna wants her to study Kicker? Because she's INTERESTED?! ... you magnificent bastard.
If only you knew, Twilight, if only you knew...
omg lol this is hillarious cloudkicker's personality is totally the best headcannon
That, was awesome.
And Twi, you'll end up respecting Cloud Kicker after you get to know her history a little better.
Particularly if you get the full story about her and Fluttershy.... 
Couple typos here and there, but very well overall
Oh, how wrong you are, my dear Twilight...
1363562
The "Winningverse."
That is now a thing.
1365044
Oh, you know how this fandom likes to set up silly fanon universes and continuities that seem totally incomprehensible to anyone outside the craze.
This is the same thing, I guess?
I always thought Cloud Kicker was really pretty
1365105
Winningness changes you man, it changes you
"Silly" ain't quite the word for it.
A guy of my stature should not twinge like a scared dog during a viewing of <episode goes here; Winningies will know the one>. Winningverse is to blame.
It's going to take me days to get that raw-nerve reactionary twinge outta my system, and then TLATOAWP will update and my emotions will be flayed again, repeating the cycle. And I'll read it, cause it'll be more than worth it. It's been muddlin' whole tracts of my headcanon. It's makin' for a whole chunk'o' tangent headcanon.
-stepping outside the "totally incomprehensible...craze" I revel in for a moment...-
Yeah, I'd really recomend TLATOAWP, on its merits that it's freakin' brilliant, than goes on to display something even more. Not many fics really sink their teeth into you to the extent or depth that Life and Times does. On merit of that alone does Study of Winning look to have excellent prospects, and this first chapter gives a solid perfomance up to what could be expected of it. Will follow this with keen expectations.
1365044
Well, I do seem to remember Chengar using that term in his blog entry that led me here, so it is in fact an canon thing, I just thought the term needed to be used more
Twilight being asked to study Cloud Kicker you say?
i1078.photobucket.com/albums/w498/skyenee/84126-captiondis_gon_b_gudspike.jpg
Dat foreshadowing
Haha, going from not knowing why she should feel worried, to being on the verge of a panic attack, in a matter of seconds. That's our Twilight.
...adorkable is too a word... *mutter*
This has much potential! We already know how good Cloud Kicker teasing Blossomforth can be. Adding in Twilight promises a touch more prudishness, a tad less embarassment, and a whole heckuva lot more nerdy overanalysis. Looking forward to the next chapter.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
poni.tylian.net/_images/f0c845d4eeea29ecda90399c8a7fac5f/13%20-%20awesomeface%20cheerilee.jpg
Wait, this was approved by Chengar? WOW, I just had to read to this...and it was splendid! This is really good, and I seriously can't wait for the next chapter. I'll give you a watch and a fav...and since I'm feeling generous, I'll give you a thumbs up too.
So... its a satellite story to TLaToTWP ... and an instant featured?
GOOD JOB CK! o/
AAAAAAAAAW YEAH!
1364373>>1365932>>1365950
Tempting fate detected...
..Tactical Murphy inbound! 
1365192 And another one falls to The Winning Pony's irresistible charm. Hooray. What's that, twenty for the day?
1366718 Seems that way. That's how I found it. The Winningverse. It's impossible to resist it. You could even say ... futile.
Oh you. So much winning this measly single star is insufficient
And look who's number 1 on the featured board.
omygoshomygoshomygosh
Looks good.
Edit: Ha! I knew this universe had a name.
1363745
Yep, this is my very first story, and I hope everyone enjoys it. I plan on one heck of a rollcoaster for all of this in true Winning Pony Fashion. Chenger and Comma have given me a huge amount of help also.
1364373
InuHoshi's art is fantastic in my opinion. I really hope she will do some fanart of my stuff also!
I'm certainly working to keep all the ponies in character, and let the hilarious inevitabilities happen when Cloud Kicker and Twilight interact.
1364434
Twilight does tend to not think things when she is on the panicked side of things. Poor Twilight is looking at potential disasters to both her left and right at the moment.
Maybe…
But I will say Twiligth getting her assignment will be covered in the next chapter. Also that I plan on fully revealing all the facts involving Luna and Cloud Kicker by the time the end credits roll. Luna may or may not have plans…
1365105
Yep, the Winningverse even has its own group page now. I would highly recommend reading The Incredibly Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash, and the Life and Times of a Winning Pony. They are both great stories in their own right, and the latter runs more or less concurrently with Study.
1365210
I hope to live up to your expectations! I have been working with Chenger to create a story that will very much be in the spirit of Winning Pony, and live up to its standards.
1365256
There is very much a Winningverse. We even have a group page to keep track of all the stories.
1365710
Cloud Kicker is a background pony for the show who Chenger has given some... personality to with The Life and Times of a Winningpony. If you haven't read that story I highly suggest it. Cloudy is all over the place in the show, and if you have a bunch of background ponies in the background, you can pretty much count on her being there.
1365839
Oh, I plan on playing up Cloud Kicker and Twilight's dynamic as much as I can for all the reasons you said. Trust me, there are plenty of fun and games to be had in the future.
1366718
Yep, this story is pretty much running concurrently with Winning Pony, and should add some insight into some of the things happening in that story in addition to adding a lot of things on its own.
And believe me, I am thrilled to see it featured. I've put a lot of work into this story, and I really hope everyone enjoys it!
1367499
Wohooo. I really hope everyone is enjoying the story. Plenty more great stuff to come, I promise.
Oooooooh I'm excited.
Could use a Metonym or a Synonym for bang perhaps. But as a whole, I liked it
Cloud Kicker is best background pony, and having Twilight be the straight mare to her shenanigans is too good to pass up.
So... Getting a look at CK from an outside perspective. Gonna be...Interesting. Might help confirm if she's someone I can actually form anything beyond contempt for.
I Would Love To - Steve Vai
I still find it bizarre and funny how sexual Steve Vai's stuff can be. It's like he writes his stuff specifically to be the soundtrack to an '80's porno.
Oh god, this is going to be a lot of fun.
Oh god how i wish she would have said
"We'll bang, Ok?"
Oh and Rainbow Dash! Youve been shipped again for the millionth time whaddya think about that?
oi44.tinypic.com/2ezjmtf.jpg
Aahahahahaha!
1363546 Twilight is pretty cool too