But all he can remeber

*remember

Ain't looking good if you can't spell your description properly, mate.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png

You need to let the readers know what you're doing a crossover with.  You also seem to be missing some commas and apostrophes.  The repetition of the title is a little distracting.  If you need a page break try typing "hr", bracketed by these symbols [], instead of the quotation marks.

Arrgh! I know not of this "Mass Effect" of which ye speak. Tis confusing to an old sea dog like meself.

I don't care much for the story either. It goes by too quick. There's no time to feel the thrill of battle. There's no time to get the blood pumping. You don't feel the danger or the peril that the character has.

Nay, tis not something that I be liking.

Yaargh! The Crimson Brony has spoken!

>>13700471370047 Thanks for pointing that out fixed

>>13700581370058 Thanks for the advice unfortunately I lack a Proofreader and college work does not give me much timeso I'll go over it again to find these mistakes when I have time

>>13700781370078 I meant for this part to go by quickly it was mostly to get the beggining out of the way so that the main story can commence, also if you want to find out about Mass Effect then do a search in google.

Hmmm... Feels a bit fast paced, but I want to see where this is going. You get a thumbs up and a favorite. For now...

Okay, let me see:

It seems you forgot to use some periods, but nothing major.

Ah, the disclaimer is a bit unneeded. We know you aren't the owner of MLP or Mass Effect.

Keep safe and keep writing!

>>13702751370275 My apologies for these errors my lack of a proofreader and my overload of college work leaves me little time to re-read things thank you for your understanding and courtesy

>>13704161370416

You're welcome!

I thought u meant the Shepard from MW2 oh well

>>13706951370695 Sorry to disappoint

>>13706991370699 blahblahbloop

>>13706951370695 The name of the story is Mass Effect: Equestria, and yet you thought the main character was General (not Commander, General) Shepherd from MW2?

Son, I am disappoint.

So, I'm not going to bother with the story. Why?

1)Your description just told me everything.

2)It *really* bugs me when people use numbers incorrectly. Unless it is an insanely complicated number, or it is spoken in dialogue, always spell out your numbers.

3) I've read other Mass Effect fics, all of much better quality. (I especially recommend "N7-Operation: HARMONIZER")

4)Sorry about the cynical comment. As a rookie member of the TWE, I've been mucking my way through fics that should be sent to the moon, where the moon is then banished to Tartarus, and Chuck Norris eats it. Your story is not even close to bad, compared to the stuff I've read. However, it isn't worth reading at this time.

-Winter Storm

TWE Rookie Member

>>13714161371416 look I don't care

Commas are your friend

Keep people in character (for shephard pick one and stick with it)

Not too bad

...I don't get it.  Is this Shepard the human?  A pony equivalent?  Human Shep turned into a pony?

Shepard never questioned Discord's answer.  Or his appearance.  Aliens are one thing, Darwin's Mr. Potato Head is another matter entirely.

Conspiracy theorists:  This story is Shepard's ryncol dream after drinking Demoman under the table.  Y/N?

i'm really confused.

1. when in the mass effect universe does this take place? (after 3 i presume and shepard survives(is he part reaper now?))

2. how did he get here? wouldn't other members of his team and stuff know about the ponies? i mean joker would have to fly the normandy and shepard himself would tell the aliens about the ponies

3. i didn't understand that whole giant red laser blast and then shepard turned into stone. did shepard get hit in the blast radius or something? plus what was that red blast? was it a reaper laser, because if so and this is YEARS into the future of me3 or something (like 10 or so) wouldn't he have already succumbed to the indoctrination and not be so nice? and if it was the normandy with the thanix cannon then it would be a yellow-orange laser.

to be frank i might just be reading into the lines a little bit too much, but w/e these questions will more than likely be answered in future chapters

>>15127251512725 The future chapters will eventually answer these questions and more but University has me swamped right now

i like mass effect, and i like mlp. cant wait to see where this story goes, hopefully it goes somewhere entertaining

follow and favorite for you, good luck with university

This is pretty good but I only have one question

Why the Buck would people dislike this?!