Okay, friend. I like the direction, and all. Good story to say the least, but one thing clear, use italics for letters as well as journal entries if those will incorporate into the story, and there should not be an intermittent comment in the story like the rules say. Un-bold the author note and just a little lesson in Ye Olde English,

1. Thy is "your" when referring to the person.

2. Thine is "your" as in ownership.

3. Ye is "you" at the beginning of a sentence.

4. Thou is usually "You're" but I'm not sure.

5. I don't know much upon the -eth suffix, but it could be past-tense as far as I'm concerned.

That's about all I think I know, I'm not sure on any of these but there's always Wikipedia

>>13507141350714 actually, the "thy, thine, ye, thou, ex..." is best expressed in a chart:

Nominative Objective Possessive

1st sing I Me My/Mine

1st plur We Us Our/Ours

2nd sing Thou Thee Thy/Thine

2nd plur Ye You Your/Yours

3rd sing He/She/It He/Her/It His/Hers/Its

3rd plur They Them Their/Theirs

>>13509471350947

I knew that someone had the right idea, anyway thanks for the information.

>>13510121351012 oh... I just remembered... the "-est" thing...

apparently, in early english it was added onto verbs used by the singular second person (thou) but only on the present or past tense. For example:

to know: Thou knowest, Thou knewest

to make: Thou makest, Thou madest

to be: Thou beest (or "Thou art"), Thou wast (or "Thou wert", but was originally "Thou were")

to do: Thou dost ("Thou doest" in non-auxiliary use), Thou Didst

and the rule also affected "shall" and "will" as well (Thou Shalt, Thou wilt)

PS as a side note: a common abbreviation for "Thou" was "Þͧ" or "Þu" much like the origin of "Ye" was actually an abreviation of "The" as "Þͤ" or "Þe"

beirirangu

I read it and I still dont get it. But I appreciate the notes. I'll look into them in a bit. Thanks.

ThemBananas

I have taken your advice and re-done a little of the story. I have removed the bold on the 'letters' as well as removed the 'intermittent comment'. Then I tried to streamline the story together.

Again, thanks for the advice.  

As for the Elizabethan English... well... thats gonna take a little more practice before I'll dare to use it.  

  A continuation of a Spike/Luna?  You bet I'm tracking this.

Just one thing, I know what you were trying to do, but maybe you should have made use of "A Canterlot Wedding" instead.  The canon in "Luna Eclipsed" really seemed to chain you down in what you could do with Spike and Luna.  You need not be a slave to canon.

hmm... tracking this

Perhaps a bit to loyal to the actual episode for your narratives own good. But it was all well done. And I like this ship. Lets see how far can you go.

This is MallaJong. I apologize for the fact that I am commenting without reading it yet (I will soon, I promise).

First off, I am so grateful for the fact that you have continued the story. I promise to promote this story to the fans of Spike's Luna (one way or another). Thank you for providing a continuation. I am happy that you produced a chapter.

I'll comment once I read it. Thank you again! :)

Definitely tracking  

Wow... thanks everyone. ... I'll try my best not to disappoint.  

Lets see here ...  

Dragon Master Spike

I know using 'A Canterlot Wedding' would have made it easier, but there is a reason behind me using 'Luna Eclipse'. Long story short, there is another story out there titled 'Spike's Luna' which was written during the events of 'The Great Galloping Gala', and with permission from the author, I am continuing from said date. Pushing it after the wedding would have left too big a time gap.

Also, I do not see it as a slave to canon. I see it as a challenge. To see if I can keep the story going from another point of view, having the freedom to place anything anywhere I want, to create a whole new story, while having its initial barriers to have to weave through. Kinda like 'Back to the Future 2' movie.

Rennes le chateau

My response to your statement is similar to the one above. Thank you for your support. I will try to put up another chapter A.S.A.P.  

HushHushEverypony

Well, I did say I would try to continue where you left off. And thanks. It was certainly my pleasure.

Btw, glad to see ur back.

Kzer

Thanks. I do appreciate the support.

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/311/676/31d.jpg

Story I mean.

A rather enjoyable read. Please, continue.

Minor formatting quibbles: If a quote is followed by a dialogue tag, use a comma:

"Hello," Spike says. <- CORRECT

"Hello." Spike says <- INCORRECT

Also, while more a matter of preference, italics tend to be used for thoughts rather than speech.

Overall a good start though.

I am taking a wild guess that Celestia may know the situation of spike and luna with that wink of hers

AgonistAgent

Thanks for the info, I'll keep that in mind for the following stories.  

Herpidty Derp

That bit will be confirmed later.

Lovely. Just lovely. Kinda short and not much happened, but it was cute.

That authors note...so many grammar mistakes, the horror.

Alfamaxis

TQ  

Rennes le chateau

Only part 1. More in the coming chapter

For The Plot

In the 'author's note' alone? Where?  

>>14559781455978

I didn't notice the "Part 1" on the chapters title.

What I find... awkward of this story, is that most stories take place at a time when Spike has grow up a bit. It gets funny when I think about how small he must look at the side of Luna XD But don't worry about it. I'm jut thinking aloud.

Keep it up.

Noticed an error.

Does my little Spikie-Wikie know something about this?

I don't think Rarity is suppose to be calling Spike "Spikie-Wikie" just yet. The events of Sweet and Elite occurred before the events of Secret of my Excess, which is where Rarity first uses her nickname for spike.

Rennes le chateau

No worries. And thanks a lot.  

Lord Discord

True, it is the first time its mentioned in the series, and yes, I am aware of when it was used, but who is to say that it is only in 'Sweet and Elite' is that term FIRST ever used.

I can't wait the next part!

I LOVE IT! Keep it up! i am so looking forward to chapter 3, Its gonna be SO AWESOME!!!

Why is all the dialogue in italics?

KenshiDash  MusicGuy77515

Thanks guys. I know its been a while since i last posted, but I'm getting there. Sorry for the long wait.

Breakfateschain

I thought it'll stand out from the normal text. Are you not in favor of italic dialog?

Awesome! I hope I am not being rude because I didn't think I would like your writing style, but I started reading and I do like it. And your story is awesome by the way

sabotsailor

No problem. I'm just glad you read through it and I'm very glad you liked it.

Thanks a lot!

Cool story bro!

>>15242451524245 its ok.  good work takes time.

.... How am I just now finding out about this? Oh well good so far, although I thought that Spike had dropped the formality before?

>>15302801530280 You... DO know how to reply to comments, right? And also, italics aren't used for normal speech. It's sorta the rules for English. And the tense keeps shifting from present to past -tense.

kingtiger666

No, not really, but I get by.

And yes, I've been told about the italics.

I'll keep an eye on that on later uploads..... which should be soon.... hopefully....

1) Pick either past or present tense. Stop using both.

2) Remove those italics in the dialogue. Italics are for emphasis, thoughts and spoken quotations, and nothing more.

So u want me to go and change the italics from the previous chapter(s)? Sorry, too lazy to do that. The fact that I already stopped using italics is good enough for me.

And yes, I was already told about the shifting tenses....There is no need to repeat. If you read it in the lastest chapter, then I apologize....

It's sweet, for sure. But i think,  the last  paragraph was unnecessary. Anyway, i wish you good luck with a new chapter. Thx for the story

Hey thanks for the vote of confidence. Tho yeah, you're probably right... the last bit kinda killed the class there eh?  

Hmm, that last part. Is this going to turn into a clop fic? If so, I'm all for it.

Even though the chapter was good. It had a good narration and stuff. But it just felt like ... a filler to the story. Hollow even.

>>16946531694653 Yep, the lastest chapter is gooder than the last one. In fact, it's probably the bestest chapter. I wondered if you were really that lazy, but then I realized that you just weren't very smart. Of course, when you replied to my comment with insults, and, due to your inability to use the reply button, I never read it, I put together a sandwich and watch episodes of Justice League.

kingtiger666

If you thought that my earlier comment was an insult, then I apologize for it was not meant as an insult, just how I feel about it. And if the 'gooder', and 'bestest chapter' crack was an insult as well, then I have to say it was a cheap one. Also, if you believe that I am not a smart person, then well, so be it. After all, that's just your opinion. The reply button? Yeah, I don't know how to use it. It just comes out numbers. I guess its the post number. But like I said, I'll live. And if you judge the contents of the story from my latest comment on your comment, as well as the fact that I do not know how to use the reply button, well, its your loss really. Oh and lastly, I was watching Iron Man - Armored Adventures myself earlier.  

Rennes le chateau

Yeah, I know and I promise to better the next chapter.  

The Dragon Warlock

Nah... dont think I wanna turn it into a clopfic.

MORE!!!!! AND I REALLY LIKE IT))))

AND THE END IS GOOD)))

Well, truth be told, I don't think I like the third chapter. It was lazily done. So I'm currently re-writing the whole thing (just the 3rd chapter).

Thanks all for the comments as well as the criticism. Oh and the insults as well, (if there was any). It all helps.  

You probably don't care, but when you hit the reply button it puts those numbers in on purpose. After you post the reply the numbers turn into their name and in turn they receive a notification, which makes everything easier

>>17002211700221

Not to be rude alright, but yeah, it didn't bother me at all, tho I agree that you are right, that it makes it easier for others.

So I'll try it with this post now.  

Firstly, I didnt realize that the reply button was that simple. Guess I over thought the whole thing. Thanks For The Plot for clearing that up for me.

As for the story, its been edited so its not as lame as it was before. yeah, even I called it lame... well, live and learn. I hope you all feel that its better now.

Thanks guys.  

>>17007431700743 Yay i'm helpful

MOAR!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE MOAR!!!!!!

This style better. Long delayed but, got to give it to you. You didn't constrain yourself to the episode so much that it made this all the better.