Perquisition

by Diexna

Chapter 5

Perquisition

Chapter 5

The sunlight was reaching in through the window. Over the hours it slowly made its way up to eye level of the sleeping unicorn. He groaned himself awake. Irritated by the annoying light that burned his poor unadjusted eyes as he opened them.

Crimson was lying in an unfamiliar bed. He felt a bit too warm so he tried to kick the blanket off, until he felt a sudden coldness rushing through his body. He decided to snuggle back in for now.

Now decently comfortable again, he observed his surroundings. His eyes widened with interest as he looked over all the oddities around the room. Everywhere he turned there were strange devices ranging from copper colored helmets with even smaller contraptions attached to it, to odd saddle-bags with even more things stuck on it. They looked like small spider arms. What caught his eye first was the gold painted harness with mounted blades hanging from a wall next to the door, with one of the ‘wings’ roughly buckled while missing a few blades. He focused his eyes as he tried to recall why it seemed so familiar...

“ZZZ...”

The loud wheezing caught Crimson by surprise. He yelped quietly for himself and quickly looked down from the wall to see a blue pegasus lying on his back on a mattress, giving a few lazy kicks into the air as he mumbled something while apparently dreaming.

“ZZZ...”

The snoring had been at the same time as Kickbolt when he was talking to himself in his sleep. He wasn’t the one snoring?

“ZZZ...”

He leaned up slightly to look into the other room, only barely being able to glean anything past the doorway. He could see Sketch’s bright yellow hair hanging over the edge of a sofa. She turned around in her sleep while groaning, showing her face. Her drool encrusted face. She accidentally kicked down a pillow while giving a few loud smacks with her mouth as if she had been eating something. This followed by opening her mouth as she...

“ZZZ...”

...snored really loudly across two rooms.

Crimson smiled. He wasn’t sure exactly what had happened - his memory being a bit hazy, and he didn’t exactly feel very good right now, but he couldn’t help but feel safe. He decided to let the two explorers sleep in, assuming they were the ones that had helped him into bed. He couldn’t help but think that was a trivial matter by now.

He continued to look around the room and all the wondrous things that adorned it. If he hadn’t been feeling so woozy, he would have walked right up to take a closer look at each and every one. He felt an urge to test everything to see what they do. His eyes kept on wandering until he finally noticed something that was within his reach, without even having to leave the bed, standing on the night stand next to him.

“ZZZ...”

It looked like an alarm clock, except it had no numbers or anything that would make it look like a watch, besides the shape of it. One thing that did stick out was the big red button on top of it, calling out to him to be pressed. He slowly brought up a hoof to it...

And stopped. He pulled his hoof back when he realized that he knew things now, things that seemed very obvious. He took another look at the ‘alarm clock’.

That looks like a timepiece.

He knew what it looked like. How did he know what something he’s never seen before looks like?

“ZZZ...”

He shrugged. Things that didn’t make sense now would probably do later when somepony could give him some answers.

His eyes were fixated at the ‘alarm clock’ again, the red button seemed so alluring. His hoof moved closer to it yet again. He touched it, just barely, enough to feel it under his hoof, all that was left was to apply pressure on it to activate the whatever-it-was. He braced himself and pressed the button.

Click.

That’s it? He thought with a disappointed face, having expected more from the strange device. He sunk back into the bed while turning his head around for anything else to keep him distracted.

Clickclick.

He blinked. Was it still doing something?

Clickclickclick.

He quickly turned around to face the device again, unsure what was happening but still happy something was.

Clickclickclickclick.

It wasn’t moving, but there was a faint clicking sound coming from inside of it. He stared eagerly upon it waiting for something to happen.

Clickclickclickclickclick.

The sound became more frequent now, slowly picking up the pace between clicks. He could swear that it was starting to become louder too.

Clickclickclickclickclickclick.

The sound from it wasn’t so slight any longer; it could probably clearly be heard by anypony in the room by now. Getting worried that it might wake up the two explorers who were still sleeping, he tried to shut it off again by pressing the button on top of it again. Nothing happened.

Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick.

Crimson grabbed the clicking device to try and muffle it with the bed covers; it was starting to get obnoxiously loud.

Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

Whatever he had started, he was unable to stop it. He was begging it to stop whatever it was doing while throwing every bed sheet available to him over it to try and quiet it down. Doing so had no effect.

Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

It was loud, as if he standing inside a clockwork store and every single clock was sounding about ten times louder than normally. He briefly wondered again how he could have thought about such a comparison without truly knowing what a clockwork store was, but he was too busy turning the bed upside down to do something about the clicking.

Just as he was about to hide it under the mattress he was lying on, he could see Sketch standing in the doorway, staring in his general direction with dark baggy eyes.

Sketch slowly slouched up to Crimson while looking at nothing in particular, just staring in the direction that was in front of her all the time, all while navigating around Kickbolt lying in the middle of her path -- who was still sleeping -- without even looking where she was going. When she got up to Crimson she slowly moved her eyes to actually look at him for the first time since entering the room.

Crimson grinned sheepishly while holding out the device wrapped in bed clothing to Sketch.

Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

She nonchalantly slapped the device out of his grip. It fell down on the floor without Sketch ever taking her sleepy eyes off Crimson and, without actually looking where it had landed, she stomped at it with one of her hind legs heavily. The sound of glass breaking could be heard beside the clicking as she did this.

Clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick...

It stopped.

Sketch was still staring at Crimson who was grinning sheepishly as self defense. She blinked, slowly.

“S-sorry...?” Crimson said while laughing nervously.

Sketch responded with another sleepy blink of her eyes before she turned around to head back to her couch.

Kickbolt finally started to blink his eyes open as Sketch started to towards the door - past him. He yawned heavily. “Good morning everyp-Oof!” His greeting was interrupted by Sketch kicking him in the stomach before proceeding to the couch. He rubbed his belly while blinking to adjust to the morning light. After a moment he turned to Crimson who was still sitting in the bed, trying to figure out what had just happened.

Kickbolt sleepily yawned again before asking, “Did you wake her up? She can be a bit grumpy if you wake her.”

ö~ö~Ö~ö~ö

“T-that’s used to wake you up?”

Kickbolt shrugged nonchalantly while biting into an apple. “Whaf can I shay? I’mf a heafy shleeper,” he said while chewing, swallowing afterwards. “What’s wrong with sleeping in when in the safety of my own home?”

Sketch sighed. “If you only tried to sleep properly whenever we’re out exploring you wouldn’t be sleeping like this,” she said. “That’s the first time it’s ever waken me up, I swear if I ever have to use that thing to wake you up again I’ll just bang it into your head!” she continued to rant, glaring at Kickbolt while bringing up a hay sandwich to bite into.

Kickbolt leaned closer to Crimson. “Told you she’s cranky when woken,” he whispered.

“Why n-not just use a normal alarm c-clock? And isn’t it... uh... b-broken now?” Crimson asked.

Sketch continued to glare at Kickbolt, who didn’t seem to care. “Because they’re not loud enough to wake him. He had to get that thing specially ordered. The problem is that it has to be manually activated since it’s not actually a watch. So unless he wakes up by himself, that’s the only way to get him up.” She frowned. “And it’s not broken, I think. That’s actually how you turn it off. They do break every now and then by turning them off. A pretty big design flaw if you ask me. Kickbolt even have dozens of the infernal things over in that box,” she ended, pointing towards a tattered old crate lying under a table.

Kickbolt continued to eat his red juicy apple instead instead of listening to Sketch’s ranting. He gave one of the apples to Crimson. “So how do you feel? You had a pretty bad fever all of yesterday. When you first collapsed I had to pull you here to my house. You’ve been asleep for almost two days!” Kickbolt said.

Sketch nodded. “I was able to get the doctor to come and take a look at you, he said you’d be fine with some rest, so we’ve been here watching over you since then.” She pointed to a bucket of water with a rag hanging from it next to the bed. “We had to keep your fever down most of yesterday before you started getting better,” she ended as she brought up a hoof to his forehead to feel his temperature.

“I feel f-fine, I guess. Just a little fever,” Crimson answered.

Kickbolt exhaled. “You know, you scared me half to death when you just collapsed like that!”

Crimson tried to remember what had happened - they had just gotten to town and he was looking around, but then what? He couldn’t remember. Everything seemed hazy.

“Wait... S-something strange happened b-before. I looked at your... wake-up device... and thought that it looked like a clock,” Crimson said.

Kickbolt just lowered his eyebrows, but Sketch seemed to understand what he was trying to say. “You mean, you knew what a clock is?” she asked while leaning forward.

Crimson looked down on the apple he was still holding. “I don’t k-know. I mean, I guess I d-did. It’s odd because I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it before, but I still thought ‘that looks like a timepiece’, but how would I know w-what a timepiece looks l-like?” He raised an eyebrow. “When I think a-about it, I knew about a l-lot of t-things since we first met, things I don’t know how I s-should know about.”

“But you still had no idea about many other things... like you couldn’t even walk at first,” Sketch said. She took out her notebook and started reading some scrabble from one of the pages. “You suddenly appeared at the top of the tower, you had no cutie mark nor any idea what was going on or how you got there. You didn’t know how to walk - or even stand - until we showed you how. You have no memories about your past.” She sighed. “I dunno, you’re a mystery. Some of these things could easily be shoved under the category ‘amnesia’ of some kind, but the fact that you just appeared like that and that you have no cutie mark is what’s weird.” She closed the book. “Also, your stuttering seems to have improved?”

Kickbolt cleared his throat. “What she said.”

Sketch rolled her eyes at the notion.

Crimson sighed. “I’m s-sorry... I don’t know myself what’s going on.”

A few awkward moments of silence passed - besides the occasional noise of Kickbolt chewing his apple - until the red unicorn spoke up again to ask a question.

“So, w-what were you doing in that tower anyway? Where you found me,” Crimson asked nopony in particular.

Sketch, who had been staring at her hay sandwich while in deep thought immediately jumped up in excitement to answer the question. “Why, we’re explorers! The two best the town of Fourtow has to offer!” By now she was standing firmly planted while grinning, and for some reason her hair was blowing in the wind - while indoors.

Crimson could swear he almost saw background lights behind her as she was posing. Apparently the wind was coming from Kickbolt’s wings as he flapped them for effect.

“Your w-wing, it’s okay now?” Crimson asked while turning around in the bed to face Kickbolt.

Sketch, dissatisfied with the lack of attention, returned to her hay sandwich while grumbling something to herself.

Kickbolt stretched out both his wings for effect. “Yeah, don’t worry! The doctor took care of that easily after he’d taken a look at you,” he said, giving his right wing a few lazy flaps.

“How did he f-fix it so quickly? I thought it w-was broken.”

“Oh, the doctor’s a unicorn, he just used some magic to fix it. Apparently I was lucky Sketch splinted the wing or it could have been worse.” Kickbolt replied.

“M-magic? I forgot about that. I want to try using it again!” Crimson exclaimed.

Kickbolt took a step closer. “Actually, the doctor said that part of why you collapsed must have been because of... uh... Sketch?” Kickbolt turned his head to Sketch for help as he scratched his head.

Sketch got back up again to continue explaining where Kickbolt’s memory faltered. “He said...” She gave a moments pause to stare at Kickbolt in annoyance. “He said that you had
over-channeled magic ‘the wrong way’. I’m not sure what it means, but apparently your inexperience with it caused you to become mentally exhausted and... well... collapse,” she said, shrugging momentarily before continuing. “We were worried when it first happened, but the doctor said that after ‘resting your mind’ a couple of days, you’d be fine again. Ah, incidentally that means you can’t use magic until told otherwise.”

Crimson’s face dropped to stare at the apple again. “Oh, I s-see...”

Sketch brought up a hoof to feel his temperature again. “Don’t worry about it, it shouldn’t be that much longer. But you’re still bedridden for at least another day.”

Crimson continued to stare at the apple, until a loud grumble originating from his stomach needed to be quelled. “So you s-said you two are e-explorers, what d-d-did you mean by that?” he asked. Finally taking a bite out of the red fruit.

Kickbolt and Sketch traded a quick look. “Well, I suppose a quick history lesson wouldn’t hurt.”

The next few hours were spent telling Crimson the past century of events, beginning at the earliest documented happenings in Ever City since the appearance of the ponies, up until the current circumstances in Fourtow, why the Explorer’s Guild had started and what they aimed to do. It all ended with how they had finally encountered Crimson inside the tower. Kickbolt had been tossing in a few ‘spooky voices’ every now and then for effect, until Sketch made it clear with her hoof - hard - that it wasn’t necessary.

“Why is it c-c-called Ever City? The name s-seems sort of... bland.”

Sketch chortled. “Hah! I know, right? You’ll have to ask big city pony over there for the answer for that one though, if he can be bothered to actually remember an answer.”

Kickbolt snorted. “I do remember things! And yes, I actually happen to know the answer to that question. To quote my grandfather back when I lived there...” He cleared his throat, and continued in a much deeper voice. “Because it’s all we’ve ever known.”

Crimson and Sketch patiently waited for anything else to be said that would give any further indication for why the city being named as it is, but their staring was met with Kickbolt staring back at them.

Kickbolt shrugged. “That’s all I know, sorry.”

Sketch facehoofed. “Really? That’s it? No incredible explanation for why besides... that?”

Crimson joined in. “I have to s-say... I expected m-more.” Feeling another upcoming conflict on its way, Crimson tried to divert the attention instead. “So, what are all these t-things?” he asked while pointing at the many gadgets around the room.

Kickbolt grinned. “Ah, an eye for detail. This, my friend, is my very own collection of various contraptions for many and different uses!” he exclaimed, standing on his two hind legs to point the two remaining ones to nowhere in particular.

Sketch rolled her eyes. “He means glorified junk.”

Nopony paid any attention to that, Kickbolt was already busy explaining to Crimson about some of the things he’d already become interested in before accidentally waking everypony up.

Sketch groaned loudly.

ö~ö~Ö~ö~ö

“Are you s-sure I can’t bring that claw horseshoe? It c-could come in handy!”

Sketch shot a glare off in Kickbolt’s direction.

Kickbolt gulped. “Uh, yeah, you probably shouldn’t,” he said.

“Aww...”

The following day Crimson’s fever was completely gone, so Sketch had arranged for them to meet with somepony.

Crimson was able to walk almost perfectly by now, although he did attract quite a few looks when passing by throughout the town by being a new pony. That, and not having a cutie mark made him stick out as a sore hoof.

“Is i-i-it much f-f-further?” Crimson asked, his stuttering acting up due to the anxiety.

Sketch pointed a hoof to a stone building in front of them. “Relax, we’re already here.”

The building was slightly larger than the average house - about five ponies high - and instead of being made out of wood with hay or something similar for roof, it was almost entirely made out of stone pieces - each the size of a head - that had been fused together with cement.

Crimson looked around - it looked familiar. Not a long way from where they stood, the entrance to the town where they had first arrived upon was. He shook his head, his memory bugging him.

Did I see something here before?

Before he had a chance to recollect what had happened, Sketch pulled him inside the building.

The inside seemed normal enough: simple yet nice furniture, a counter right in front of them. The wall to the right was adorned with several picture frames with name tags, two of them belonging to ‘Map Sketch’ and ‘Kickbolt’, among a few others Crimson didn’t recognize.

Behind the counter there was an old earth pony mare, a creamy yellow color with a grayish-white hair bun; on the top of her muzzle resided a small pair of spectacles.

“Welcome back, dearies!” the old voice greeted the explorers happily.

“Good morning, Master,” Sketch and Kickbolt replied at the same time.

“G-g-g-good m-m-m-morning...” Crimson stuttered.

“Ah, you must be Crimson! Sketch told me all about you yesterday,” the old mare said. “Don’t worry about me, I wont bite!” she chuckled.

Crimson flushed as he gave a slight nod.

The elderly mare walked out from behind the counter, age reducing her to little more than Sketch’s size. “You can just call me Master, everypony does! I didn’t get appointed that title over years of exploring just to use it as a title.” She proudly pointed at the wall with the picture frames, specifically at one with her own picture showing the name ‘Master’ under it. “If you want to be technical about things, my name is Red Thread,” she said as she turned around to show her cutie mark, a red ball of yarn. Her eyes squinted as she looked through her spectacles, staring directly at Crimson who froze. “But nopony calls me that.” Just as suddenly as she had turned hostile, she seemed cheery again. “So I had a few questions for you dearie, if you don’t mind!”

Crimson never answered, he was still paralyzed.

Sketch stifled a giggle as she walked up to speak, “I already told you about you all we know about him, and that he has no memory of his past, so I’m not sure what you want to get out of this.”

Master cleared her throat. “Sketchy, dear. There are always things to ask about, even if they don’t seem noteworthy at first. Besides, I wanted the three of you here for different reasons!” She smiled.

Kickbolt walked up. “Wait, you want something from each and every one of us?” he asked.

“No no no, Bolty.” Kickbolt winced at the nickname. “I want the two of you to go back to the tower and get me a detailed report of the final floor,” she said. “I can understand why you had to leave without thoroughly examining the entire room, considering what happened.” She nudged her head towards Crimson, who was slowly retreating in behind the two explorers in an attempt to hide himself, which didn’t work out as well considering how much smaller the two of them were.

Sketch frowned. “What, now?”

Master smiled. “Yes, now. I already got your saddle-bags packed and ready!” she pointed to the side of the counter, where two fully packed and ready to go saddle-bags stood waiting. “You don’t have all day, so you better get going!” she exclaimed.

Kickbolt joined in Sketch by frowning. “But-”

“But you don’t have all day! Now get going,” Master threw the saddle-bags at them and started pushing them out of the building, finally closing the door after they left.

She turned around and leaned up against the closed door, squinting her eyes yet again to look at Crimson. She licked her lips at the thought of it.

“Let’s get down to business, you and I, dearie,” she said.

Crimson was paralyzed again.

ö~ö~Ö~ö~ö

The two explorers stood outside the guild with mixed expressions.

Kickbolt shrugged his wings. “Uh, what exactly happened just now?” he asked.

Sketch glared at the door for a moment before turning around to head for the town exit. “Oh, I see what you’re doing, Master,” she said annoyingly. “I’m only letting her get away with this because I’m not allowed to go against her wishes, but I can’t say I’m certain that this is a good idea.”

Kickbolt had a confused expression on his face. “You know what’s going on?”

Sketch sighed. “Yes, and let’s just leave them alone for now, Master would only get annoyed if I were there to try and talk them out of it, so let’s just do what she wants us to do and hurry back.”

So the two explorers headed back towards the tower.

ö~ö~Ö~ö~ö

“A-are you sure Sketch and Kickbolt shouldn’t b-be here for this?”

Master stuck out her tongue. “Phhbt. Sketchy is way too fuzzy about this sort of thing. I admit she’s an excellent explorer when actually out working, reminds me of myself her age. But in the safety of the town she has to consider all the ethical and logical viewpoints before doing anything, never gets anything done! Me, however, I am a mare of action,” she said proudly. “Now... coffee or tea?” she asked.

Crimson flushed. “Umm... I’m not sure what the d-d-difference is.”

“Oh, right. I forgot, dearie, sorry. The whole amnesia thing,” she apologized. “Juice then.” She brought a glass of apple juice and placed it in front of Crimson. “I had a chat with the doctor who looked at you before, and besides what he knew from what Sketch and Kickbolt told him about your memory, he was certain that you had no physical issues.”

Crimson’s eyebrows furrowed. “How could he t-tell without actually talking to me?”

“Unicorn magic, dearie. Wonderful thing that is.”

“Oh.”

Master grinned. “Which is what I wanted to talk to you about, I heard about your earlier incident a couple of nights ago. The doctor recommended that we should find you a magic tutor.”

Crimson’s eyes widened. “A t-t-tutor? For magic?”

The elderly mare nodded. “Yes, dearie. All I ask of you is that...”

Crimson gulped.

Master quickly produced a couple of paperwork, which she waved in front of him. “...you sign this paper! Recruiting you as an apprentice for the Explorer’s Guild!” she exclaimed.

“You m-mean to do what Sketch and Kickbolt does? Explore?” Crimson questioned.

Master nodded again. “Let’s just say I have an... eye for talent. And I want you to be the latest recruit for our little town. Don’t worry, all the details are taken care of already,” she said with a glint in her eye. “All you have to do...” She took out a pen. “Is sign with your name riiiight... here!” she said, pointing to a blank spot on the papers. “The guild can provide you with magical training if needed, which in this case, it is, but we can’t just give it away to just anypony you see...”

“I s-see... So for me to be eligible for what this guild can offer, I have t-to be a part of it.” Crimson deducted.

“Ohoho, a clever one, even better! Don’t worry, all the contract says is that you’re fully aware of the risks that you could end up injured... or worse, when exploring.” She nonchalantly waved a hoof in front of her face. “See, we could currently use a new unicorn around here willing to do some exploring, and you happen to be a perfect fit, dearie!” she gleefully said. “Assuming you’re able to learn how to properly do magic, that is.”

“I’m g-guessing that I would be traveling w-with Sketch and Kickbolt, seeing how there’s only two of them, neither being a u-unicorn?” Crimson asked.

Master grinned. “You are a clever one!” She corrected her spectacles. “Granted, I’m not going to force anything on you, but I’ve given you my options, and I sincerely hope you agree to these terms.”

Crimson nodded. “They told me w-what it is they do... and I have to admit, i-it’s interesting. Besides... I f-feel like I have to repay them a debt for finding me.” Crimson nodded again. “I agree.” He picked up the pen with his teeth and tried to write his name.

Tried to.

“...”

Crimson flushed deep red upon looking at his own awkward scribble. “I-I-I-I’m not sure I can write just y-yet...” he stammered. “I can r-read, but w-w-writing seems different.”

Master gave a small chuckle and crumpled the paper, pulling out a new one along with an ink pad. “For now, I think a simple hoof print will suffice.”

Crimson nodded, dipped his hoof in the ink pad and gave a hoof print on the fresh paper.

Master silently gave a hoof pump. “Wonderful, Crimsy my dear!” Crimson winced. “I hereby welcome you into the Explorer’s Guild of Fourtow - as soon as Sketch and Kickbolt return I will gladly appoint you as their apprentice.”

Crimson smiled. “N-not having any memory made this an easy decision... It f-feels like I have no r-r-reason to say no, there’s nothing h-holding me back.” He blushed a little. “Uh, so what n-now?” he asked.

“Don’t worry, most of the ‘standard entry procedures’ are minor details, we’ll take care of that easily another time. For now, I should mention a few guidelines. Well, one guideline, really.” She cleared her throat. “Everything goes through me: new information, reports on exploration, new findings and all that yadda yadda,” she said as she waved her wrinkly hoof. “Now, let’s get started with your magic training, shall we? Now where is that mare?” She went to the counter and brought up a few papers, correcting her spectacles as she squinted her eyes to read what was written. “Oh, good! Should be any second.”

Just as Master had finished that sentence, the door creaked open behind Crimson.

“There you are dearie, right on time as usual!” Master exclaimed.

Crimson turned around to face a female unicorn standing at the entrance. He thought she looked familiar. Looking on the wall to the left where he stood he could see why - she was on one of the picture frames adorning the guild. Under her picture stood the name ‘Pledgeword’.

(Author’s note: I’d like to thank ARBPW and LysanderasD for helping me with editing and making my story readable. If you liked it, please leave a comment, they’re probably the biggest source of encouragement I’ve yet to encounter. Don’t forget to rate!)

Comments

[Moon_Fire]

they obviously aren't Grammar Nazis
and........

I WIELD THE MIGHTY HORN OF FIRST!!!!!!!

[Kim Kimera Kimes]

300494
And I wield the mighty wings of Second!

I wonder where this story will lead too...

[Moon_Fire]

302951 I wonder as well

[Shattered Skies]

I am feeling a Mystery Dungeon vibe off of this story. I realize it's not a crossover, but there seems to be a lot of similarities. That or I'm just imagining things. Either way, I'm enjoying it.

[thaecrasis]

Tracking now! Also, I weild the ironic fist of fourth (Fourtow)! This is really interesting, and has the potential to be VERY long as it is so open-ended right now... How long do you think you will make his story Diexna? Or are you just thinking up the story one chapter at a time?

[Diexna]

303889

I honestly have no idea how long it'll end up, when I first started I imagined that the current chapter 4 would be the end of chapter 1 or something.

That didn't turn out so well. As it looks now, this story will be going on for a long while.

I have several key points already figured out, some important, some mostly just because I want to try writing it. But as for everything in between, I'm mostly making it up on whim. Of course, I don't just go with any ideas I come up with. I'm picky like that.

And apparently a lot of you seem to be reminded of different dungeon crawler games.
Not a bad thing, it just keeps catching me off guard. Although I like having comparisons like that, gives me something to think about.
I should mention everything I'm writing for this story is ENTIRELY original (you know, besides the pony thing), any similarities just sorta happened. Granted, I play a lot of video games, mostly RPGs of different kinds, so I suppose I have some inspiration from those.

[Kim Kimera Kimes]

The story does draw some images from Etrian Odyssey from my memory. I mostly wonder, where will they go now?

[LysanderasD]

300494

If there is one thing I take pride in, it is my grammar. So, yes, actually, by my own admission, I am.

I am the mechanical prereader for this fic; I make sure punctuation goes where it belongs and tenses line up. I make sure the sentence flows well enough and conveys the intended meaning. If, then, there are mechanical errors, they are my fault, I overlooked them, and I accept blame for them. When I am given a chance to look over chapter six, I will be more observant.

However, I do not alter the author's style beyond superficial changes where rephrasing or reordering existing words aids in the comprehension of the narrative. I am also extremely forgiving when it comes to writing styles, except where writing styles interfere with comprehension. If there is a flaw in the writing style, it's not something I've noticed and I may be assuming too much. If the problem lies there, I will increase my focus on syntax as well.

Understand that the author is not a native English speaker and I will not undermine his creative license, or his style, due to that fact. This is his story, and I will let him tell it the way he wants to tell it, provided all of the periods are in the right place.

[Diexna]

304997

tl;dr: "I'm awesome."

:>

[Jack Ass Knife]

302951 Fist and Second? Totally reminds me of DannyJ's Human.

Anyway. Oh, shit. Pledgeword... Of course.

[Seven Fates]

304149

Won't lie, I found it reminding me more of the Legend of Zelda series than anything else. Especially with the events of the third chapter.

I know what you mean about filling in the gaps between plot points. That's part of the reason I'm stuck with my own story at the moment.

[AzureSkies]

hmmmmm... i smell the smelly smell of trouble, smells like old socks