You spelled "their" wrong in the story title.

You also spelled "challenger" wrong in the second chapter's title.

This looks like a good fiction. I will read it later. (Read later #490 (I have too much in the pile))

*Sees Tater on front page*

Has Tatergasm.

Lets do this!

whoa... wait... there was a sequel to 'When Duty Calls' and i didn't know about it?

*insta fave*

there goes my time again. tick tocking away. time well spent!

>>13391971339197

*Facehoof*

I knew I should have waited on posting

Wait a minuet... you... you... you made a sequel!? Epona and Gaea I must read.... *thirty minutes later*  An Apple Knows Their Own? Nice to see the happy ending for Scarlet and Mac. Though I do wonder why Cheerilee left him in the first place?

OH GOD FINALLY

I'VE BEEN LIEK WAITING FOR THIS

>>13394631339463

You know you can fix it, right?

>>13399841339984

Doing it right now!

I love this story!

This is a sequel?

>>13408331340833

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7728/When-Duty-Calls

Nice simple story. Read the first one before reading this and enjoyed it as well.

I take it there's going to be another?

Love it. You're portrayal of emotion and characterization are, as always, very good.

A few suggestions, though.

Typos, typos, typos. Seriously, love your stuff, but you have more typos, missing words and stuff that looks like you changed a word and didn't use backspace than something that has a lot of typos, missing words and stuff that looks like they changed a word and didn't use backspace. Get a prereader and/or let it sit a day or two and reread it carefully.

Speech patterns. You could stand to use a few more contractions. It is understandable that Scarlet wouldn't use them, being born in Canterlot, but the Apple family southern drawl has bushels and bushels of them. Ex. Instead of "I do not" try "Ah don't" or instead of "Mah sister and Ah are not" try "mah sister and Ah ain't" (I know that ain't being grammatically correct, but that's how they talk)

I also have a minor concern. The mane six's kids are the exact same in name and parentage as the characters created by someone whose name I can't remember at the moment. The cover picture looks almost exactly like his style of drawing as well. I think he might have left the fandom, but you should still give credit where credit is due. If I'm wrong and it's just a coincidence, or you and he are in fact one and the same (consider my mind blown), or you have permission to use the characters, then just ignore this paragraph.

Applejack, her husband, Sorin’

Pumped my fist in the air in celebration at this part. Glad to see you're a fellow SoarinJack shipper.

"Scarlet took a moment to look over the stallion. He was big, muscular, and actually stood at least a foot taller than he."

I think you mean "her."

Also, there are several times throughout this chapter in which Sweet Potato is referred to as "Tater" and "Tatter."  I assume it's only suppose to have two tees.

What disappoints me is that we didn't get a heart-to-heart between Fluttershy and Scarlet.  Of course, I don't expect Fluttershy to be anything but accepting, but her perspective is just too unique to be cut out like that.

Northern Lights... I know that name...

This was a good followup. A few typos here and there but the family relationships seemed right and in character.

>>13409301340930 already found and read.

That Celestia! She can't help be manipulative, can she? Even when she is trying to be nice and make her subjects happier she can't help making a Xanatos Gambit of it.  What's the bet that she had manipulated Applebloom's visit to see Cherilee?

>>13413241341324

You're right I forgot to mention Songdogshuffle for her OCs. She was the one who came up with Scarlet Gala. I've added her in the description. Shuffle and I have been going back and forth about the story for a couple of weeks. She was in fact one of the first people to read it. I have certainly gotten her blessing to use her characters.

I don't doubt the errors I'm finding new one everyday. I'm going through once a day and making corrections. Strange, some sentences look fine in G-docs and then when I import it in the FIMfiction.net they just pop out at me. Also my prereader friend has pretty much abandoned me.

>>13419941341994

Hmmmm... you raise a good point. Maybe the ending needs a little more meat to it. Thanks for the catches too, I'll get right on it later today.

>>13427611342761

"I'll never tell"

Some guys just can't handle losing.  Some guys are such total losers that they become obsessed with the unobtainable and dangerous.  The graveyards are full of 'em.

Well, that didn't strike me as an ending, more as a kind of prologue.  I think we're going to be seeing more from Scarlet Gala Apple in future.  At least I hope so.  Well done at creating a very interesting OC!

>>13431861343186

>>13419941341994

I'm in the process of editing as I write this. To be honest I'm not happy with end after giving myself a few days to walkaway and come back to it. Dragon Turtle raised a very good suggestion.  I'm planning on at least getting a conversation with Fluttershy and Scarlet in there.

In this chapter you called the farm green apple acres

>>13466961346696

Fixed

Hope ur aware that Octavia and pinkie are not sisters. Clarified by the people of the show. Just an FYI on your mistake.

>>13497381349738

I know. It's head cannon of Songdogshuffle. Yeah, you're right. It makes storytelling easier though.

dude, you need a pre-reader and editor bad. Might i sugest my pal Tyrell the dragon. he takes his pre-reading seriously and i'm sure, if he's not to busy, he'd be delighted to pre-read for ya and point out all your mistakes so you can fix them.

In some places you used hand or foot, well is not wrong but the fandom is used to hoof instead of those  

any idea when you will post next update?

>>13897301389730

Do you mean edits to this story?

nope i mean the post so everypony can read it. since the last one was over a week old now, just wondering how long it will take till the next one?

no need to give a exact date soon would be nice

>>13905591390559

Here's my blog post from yesterday. In it is all my recent updates

Nice story, found it searching at random i like!

>>15128971512897

Thanks for the stumble upon, glad you liked it.

This is a sequel, check out my page if you would like to read more.

This awesome! And looks like it is a little canon of yours and there is another story mmm ima read it!

I enjoyed it. I believe you are a talented writer, and I am glad you wrote this.

High Score is smitten with her haha, do I smell a sequel?