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Dennis the Menace 31889

Joined December 2011
1,845 followers

    Dennis the Menace's Stories (3)

    • Arachnophobia
      It was here, in my room. Somewhere, skittering along on its eight spindly legs.

      5,564 words · 8,625 views · 1,356 likes · 19 dislikes
    • My Roommate is a Vampire
      Silly Octavia, Vinyl's not a vampire, right?
      54,401 words · 29,522 views · 3,635 likes · 99 dislikes
    • The Girl with the Lyre Tattoo
      Ask no answers and be told no lies. "Who are you really, Lyra?" She wouldn't answer.
      60,964 words · 5,633 views · 829 likes · 38 dislikes

    Spiders. Oh, how I hate spiders. And yet Luna insists on keeping one as a...pet.

    Just a little fun story to keep my skills sharp, so don't expect it to last very long!

    First Published
    25th Sep 2012
    Last Modified
    9th Dec 2012

    Comments ( 837 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    This is wonderful. :pinkiehappy:

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Very funny, hope it continues! :yay:

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Oh yes you have princess :D

    I like where this is going.

    Dennis nice work. I await the updates. :P :moustache:

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Oh spiders they're not so bad.:pinkiecrazy:

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Poor Celly. :pinkiesad2:

    I have the distinct feeling that Luna adopted Atticus because Celestia is afraid of spiders. :trixieshiftright:

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Celly,  it just takes one innocent pass with a vacuum and them spider confetti.

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    HAHAGAAAAA SPIDER SPIDER GET IT OF AAAAAAAHHHHHH

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    What's so scary about spiders...?

    I mean they aren't cuddly, but they aren't EVIL, silly filly Celestia. :pinkiehappy:

    This is a pretty funny story, I hope it continues!  :twilightsmile:

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 2h ago · · ·
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    Intriguing.:pinkiesmile:

    Awaiting further releases.:fluttershysad:

    #10 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    hahahahaha! that was awesome!

    if had i choice i would say; include others, like twilight, that would be absolutely hilarious. they don't need to be major characters of course, just occasionally be involved.

    #11 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    :rainbowlaugh::yay::rainbowlaugh::ajsmug::derpytongue2::rainbowlaugh::raritywink: This story compeletly made my day, I'll seriously be awaiting more of this awesomness love it!

    #12 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    Uh oh. Luna broke Celestia. We need a Psychologist in here! @_@

    #13 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    Death incarnate, wrapped in scary? Sounds about right. Ugh, little monsters.

    #14 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    why ever thing is bigger and eight

    #15 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    Ha, I wrote a chapter once where Celestia's only scene was to have a horrible flashback of "Spiderses" as she's severely Arachnophobic

    #16 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 1h ago · · ·
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    I freaking love spiders. And this little freakout is brilliant. Insta-fave. Make more chapters, please. :3

    By the way, this is just a suggestion, but, make Atticus intelligent... seemingly 1 step ahead of Celestia's every move. Make it a true war between bitter enemies, until it gets "castle shattering" out of control...

    #17 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 45m ago · · ·
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    This is very promising. I do so enjoy you're writing style.

    Also

    I gazed back intensely, narrowing my eyes, not daring to blink, for if I did, he would have shot onto my face in an instant.

    My cousin used to have a Goliath Turantula a few years ago. So I know that feeling very VERY well.

    #18 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 38m ago · · ·
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    Reminds me of another story: A Giant Huntsman Spider Scares Ponies

    #19 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 31m ago · · ·
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    "Death incarnate, wrapped in scary."

    If you ask me, that's a pretty badass description of a tarantula! :rainbowdetermined2:

    There's nothing wrong with me, is there? :pinkiecrazy:

    #20 · Chapter 1 · 34w, 10m ago · · ·
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    Also, MOAR :flutterrage:

    #21 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I enjoy a good game of brick tag:moustache: *launches brick* YOU'RE IT!:pinkiecrazy:

    CDR
    #22 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Oh you have got to be kidding me.  I've thought about stories where the mane 6 get their minds swapped with their pets.  And mabye the royal sisters too.  But the problem was that Luna didn't have a pet.

    Thanks to you, now she does.  He he he.


    *After reading*

    Oh my, this is hilarious.  If I ever do get to writing something about mind swap with pets, this is definitely going to make it glorious!  I tell you, I won't be able to stop laughing.

    #23 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I want a brick now

    #24 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I guess you've been reading "Hyperbole and a Half".

    #25 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Don't worry Celestia, you aren't the only pony who hates spiders.

    #26 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Whatever are you people talking about?

    How could you not love this face? :scootangel:

    #27 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Bwahahahaha!!! Oh, Celestia!!:rainbowlaugh::trollestia:

    #28 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Oh, Celestia, you just have to establish clear boundaries and rules for luna's pet.

    Y'know, perfectly reasonable things like "if that thing ever touches me, I will use the sun itself to swat it away."

    The death of the whole world would be worth it.

    I used to fear spiders. I turned that negative emotion into the much healthier alternative called "seething, burning, passionate anger". When I find a spider in my room, I spray it with rubbing alcohol before immolating it.

    What I'm saying is: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

    #29 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    i feel with celly here, i am severly arachnaphobic, and i couldnt even be in the same room with one, especially a taranchula *shudders* and after that face hugger thought...

    (note to self, i would rather fight an army of xenos than a taranchula or facehugger)

    you nailed my fear perfectly, too bad i read too far into stuff so now i will be paranoid thinking this story is a bad omen

    #30 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1337877 EVERYTHING! :raritycry:

    Another fanfic by Dennis the Menace? I must read! *realizes I'm going to Choral society... ASAP* ... Heh. *clicks read it later button* Looking forward to it.

    EDIT:  Why, Fluttershy, WHY?! What were you thinking?! I feel for Celestia; spiders scare the shit out of me. Kill it with a brick, Celestia!

    #31 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    It sat on her head as she ate her salad

    I DEMAND THAT SOMEONE DRAWS THIS IMMEDIATELY

    #32 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Oh, what sordid stories we write.

    Celestia's afraid of spiders...

    Luna gets one for a pet...

    Celestia's about to be the first alicorn to give birth to kittens.

    Epic story. Can't wait for the next one... Even though I have to. :pinkiehappy:

    #33 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1337877 Yes. Yes they are.

    #34 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I hate spiders. They are EEEVIL.

    #35 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I have a "pet" spider living inside my double-paned window, dutifully guarding her little egg sack. I've fed her a fly or two, but she usually doesn't seem to need my help, since I don't have a screen in place. Also, the sort of people who kill any spider they see automatically lose a few levels of respect from me. Not much worse than mindlessly killing something simply because it exists. And that's coming from someone who once woke up to a spider biting my face.

    Anyway, pointless tangents aside, amusing story so far.

    #36 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Spiders are natures stalkers.  They are there even though you cant see them and when you do see them they are just lurking about in some dark corner.  And on occasion they decide to just 'drop in' on what ever you are doing and ruin your day.   I dont like spiders, but I like this story.  Please, keep the creepy crawly comedy coming. (Say that five times fast)

    #37 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Wow this is amazing please write more i shall await updates :pinkiehappy:

    #38 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1338693 I would like to explode that picture 9002 times make whatever references wanted here

    #39 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

    #40 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Atticus.

    Rhymes with abacus.

    I saw what you did there.:pinkiehappy:

    #41 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Sounds like the reaction my sister in law had when she walked into my computer room and saw Annabel.  (Mexican red-knee that I'm watching for a friend)  I look forward to more.

    #42 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Like spiders... but I love this. :rainbowlaugh:

    #43 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Celestia, you're not the only one.. :twilightoops:

    People think I'm psyco when I see a tiny wolf spider and I back up like, 10 feet.

    "Just step on it!"

    Oh, hell no, I'm NOT getting any one of my limbs near that.. thing.

    #44 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    You know what's more fun than spiders? A brick. A brick is so useful. You can use it for all sorts of things. Like crushing spiders.

    I literally lol'ed at that line :rainbowlaugh:

    #45 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    the pets have been doubled! Oh Celestia what were you thinking :trollestia:

    #46 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Aww, how bad could it be it's just a... wait... tarantula?

    OH DEAR GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!:raritycry:

    #47 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I feel your pain Celly.

    Oh God I'm not going to be able to sleep after reading this.

    #48 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Awesome.  The immortal sun goddess, who's lived thousands of years, probably fought countless wars to establish peace, beloved monarch of Equestria, has arachnophobia.  Genius.  And the brick bit was hilarious.

    I personally think that spiders are supercool, but hey.  Whatever.  It is what it is.  "It's just a spider; I should really just relax."

       Lovingly,

                ~Plyxe

    #49 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    What is that I see? An "incomplete" tag? Oh, happy day!

    #51 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I was no afraid
    Looks like you're missing a t tthere, want one of mine?

    I think I've gone insane.
    Oh, Celestia you silly filly! :pinkiecrazy: Everypony's crazy. It's the sane ones you have to watch out for.

    And remember: we have nothing to fear except fear itself... And spiders

    #52 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    What the fuck? It was my personal headcanon Celly hates spiders and the you go and make a fanfic about it.I can't stop laughing:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

    #53 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Spiders, snakes and other things are weird pets. Also awesome story. Let the war being.

    I think I will leave this here:

    #54 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Oh dearest Celestia, with that beautiful revelation I believe I have something you should hear.

    Remember, Tuesday we drain the blood of virgin chickens. Wednesday we anoint ourselves in said blood. Thursday is dry cleaning night for the robes. And Friday, Friday is poker night.

    #55 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This is fantastic. The writing carries emotion so well and the descriptions are perfect. I'm seeing everything through Celly's eyes. On top of that, the subject is hilarious. Definitely following this story.

    Two mistakes: "Isn't he not adorable?" and "I was no afraid of spiders".

    >>1338693 Awww...

    #56 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    #57 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Blunt force trama. Fun.

    Is when I hit favorite

    #58 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This Is flippin hilariouse

    #59 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This... Won't end well.

    #60 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    funny. reminds me of the time i was playing my ps3 and a spider was stairing at my tv for 6 hours. it looked so cute ontop of my ps3 :rainbowkiss: more

    #61 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Only Luna can like having a spider for a pet.

    #62 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Little did Celestia (or Luna) realize that "Atticus" was, in fact, Shredder, Chrysalis' tiny cousin, sent to instill fear in Celestia's heart, rendering her incapable of ruling and ensuring that the Changelings would take over Equestria! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :pinkiecrazy:

    #63 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Giant Arachnids?! It's Happening Again! Call In The Troopers And Lets Start This War!!!!

    In an Ironic note, I could have been Luna's pet...I'm a snake.

    #65 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I love that this is one of those fics where people are gonna be I hate spiders or spiders are awesome. I vote for awesome, hell I have a star-spider in the bed of my pick-up truck.

    They make good pets kinda like how fish make great pets. They are passive and fun to watch.

    #67 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #68 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Quick note.

    Isn't he not adorable?

    "Isn't" is a contraction of "is not", so "isn't he not" comes out to be a double negative. I think what you are going for is "Is he not". Anyways, funny stuff, would like to see a sequel/more chapters. :P

    #69 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #70 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I feel for you, Celly. I really feel for you. In fact—OH JESUS CHRIST KILL THE FUCKING THING!

    #71 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    As a native Australian I can say that I have a healthy respect for spiders.:pinkiecrazy:

    #72 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    "Death incarnate, wrapped in scary."   I have a new favorite phrase.  :pinkiehappy:

    #73 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1339474

    Fuck. You.

    #74 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    How I feel for poor Celestia. If she wasn't crazy she might have banished it to the moon already........:rainbowderp:

    HOLY FUCK!!!! APOLLO 18!!!

    #75 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #77 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I started reading the thing, enjoyed it, and wondered "who's writing this ?"

    Dennis, that's the second story where you deliver, you've more than earned the watch !

    #78 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I love the "bricks and spiders" part at the end. Bravo. I can't wait to see where this goes next.

    #79 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    #80 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Luna has a spider named Atticus. My new head-cannon.

    #81 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This was a wonderful present for my sixteenth birthday.:pinkiehappy:

    #82 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    aw come on  Celly spiders are awesome be happy for your sister and her pet

    can't wait to see this continue

    #83 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Don't worry Celly, we're ALL going crazy! :pinkiecrazy:

    ~ Scare

    Afraid of spiders huh? Have to remember that for next time we visit...

    ~ Timid

    #84 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Brick Tag?

    SHE STOLE MY GAME IDEA!

    Funny so far.

    Its nice to see Celestia go a bit nuts for once.

    #85 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    It's funny because I have a pet tarantula.

    #86 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Uhhhgggg, spiders. They're wrapped in eeeevvvviiiiiillllllllll… :fluttershbad:

    #88 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1339474 My feet were on the floor before I saw that comment.

    #89 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1338870 YES

    SO MUCH YES

    #90 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    That last part reminded me strongly of Hyperbole and a Half.

    #91 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    The supposed fun here gets crushed by the words of fright. I may not be arachnophobic, but this is only serves as a serious insight into the mind of someone who is seriously afraid. There is no comedy here. It's not tragic or funny, not even scary. It is just someone being afraid.

    #92 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1338693 They're so adorable, I've had on sit on my head before.

    #93 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Awww yeah! Atticus is headcanon for me now!:twilightsmile: I used to have a spider named Amos...I think it was actually a she, and she had babies.:applejackunsure: Iiii'm not entirely sure.:unsuresweetie:

    ...spiders are so scary. I have a love/hate relationship with the bastards.:pinkiecrazy:

    #94 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Celestia and I share feelings, I have crippling Arachnophobia . I hate those things. Good read though:twilightsmile:.

    #95 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    "Heehee, he's in my hair."

    Spider in space.

    Spider among the stars.

    I once read a book by the name of "Arachnophobia".  I consider it one of the worst mistakes in my life (maybe not, but still it was a pretty bad one.)  That was when I was in 6th grade.  I'm in my 5th semester of college, and I still haven't completely gotten over it.  (The effect isn't nearly as bad anymore as it was.)  Interesting story.

    #96 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I think I know where you got your inspiration, Dennis.

    :ajsmug:

    #97 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    A pretty funny story, but it doesn't feel pony-related. You could replace the princesses with two human characters on Earth and it would be no different.

    #98 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Perfect pet for Luna! :huzzah:

    I've never really understood a fear of certain creatures (spiders, snakes, etc.).

    They are living creatures, just wild, like a fish or a bear.

    You know a fish doesn't want to be near you if you are bigger than it.

    You know a bear might try to scare you off or attack if you get near it, but otherwise it won't do it out of nowhere.

    Well a spider will either:

    A - attack if it thinks you can be food (generally very poisonous spiders only)

    B - run away (or more precisely, put something between you and it to hide behind, but being small and not very smart they sometimes mistake your foot or hand for an inanimate object)

    Personally, I always catch & release spiders in my house, and not cause I don't want them there (I could care less) but because inside a house they are more likely to starve to death.

    Hmmm, maybe my attitude towards spiders (& other creatures) is tangentially related to my fav. pony being Fluttershy...

    :yay:

    P.S.

    I feel jipped out of a 'Best Pet' song between Fluttershy & Luna.

    #99 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    If the picture attached didn't make my own relatively light arachnophobia kick in. Scrolling down the comments has me shuddering in revulsion and fear.

    Me and celestia are going to go play with bricks together:pinkiecrazy:.

    #100 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 6d ago · · ·
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    This reminds me of A Giant Huntsman Spider Scares Ponies, which was honestly made by the captions. Although both diarchs are afraid of spiders in that one.

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