When Rainbow Dash makes a startling revelation to Twilight Sparkle, it sparks a serious discussion about painful events in the past, what the future holds, and self-realization and the nature of destiny.
Also available on deviantArt at http://fav.me/d4ivifh
Featured on Equestria Daily a while back and was pretty well received, but I didn't know much about FIMFiction until recently, so I decided to try releasing it here, too.
This story carries a lot of personal significance for me. It wasn't very easy to write, but there were some things I needed to say. I guess that's the essential driving force behind its creation. As such, with that kind of investment in it I'm always a little nervous about how it comes across. I'm still new and pretty inexperienced as a writer, any comments and feedback are appreciated.
A sequel expanding on the hints of events mentioned in here is currently in progress. It will be much longer and much more complex. It'll be released once it's fully written and all revision and editing are complete and it's sufficiently polished up for reading by the general public.
This was a very good read. I personally enjoyed reading it a while ago, and when I saw this published here, I wanted to put in my two bits. And now I can drop it in my favorites.
I read this a year ago on DeviantArt and loved it. That feeling has not changed. Great story!
me too bro
You know, I've seen this story in a lot of places, and however many times I read it, I still get chills. So, great read!
Goodness. This was one of the first stories I ever read when I first got into the fandom; kind of took a little trip down memory lane with this one. I wasn't that familiar with the mane six and the other ponies, but it didn't stop me from reading through it and taking in every bit of it. I enjoyed this story and it's nice to see it here where I can track it down easily. You've put together a fantastic story and you can bet I'll be reading the sequel when it comes out.
This seemed familiar, and now I know why. If it was on EqD and DA that'll be how I know it. Still, a good read either way.
One of my favorite stories to date.
Albeit I might be a little biased since you mirrored my headcanon RD almost perfectly.
Still excellent premise and well-written.
a gold star,
and this special gift.
I've got to say, you did an excellent job with the dialogue between Rainbow and Twilight. It sounded just like them, but... you know, more mature, more fitting for a fic like this.
One thing bothered me, though... what was this "war" they kept talking about? I know it's not really necessary to go into details about it for this story, but still, the whole time I was reading this I was thinking about the possibilities of why there was a war.
But anyway, like I said, great job. I rate you six out of five mustaches.
It's a lovely story and strangely in-character. Yes, Rainbow Dash is the sort of person who would throw themselves in front of a bullet for anyone and, inevitably, it is the hero's fate to die before those he or she defends. Of course, that seems to be a deal that Rainbow is happy with.
Of course... Twilight's warning is prophetic and perhaps a foreshadowing. Knowing the future often changes things radically. I can really see Twilight Sparkle spending months, maybe even years trying to ensure that Rainbow will be magically protected when that day finally comes. Maybe she might even end up trying to take Rainbow's place. No greater love hath a man... or a pony... after all.
I read this. Then I spent a good thirty minutes briefly thinking about my life. There was some crying somewhere in there too. Also why has this not been featured yet?
>>13366971336697 As I understand it, a story getting into the featuring system depends on a combination of views and faves versus total time a story is up for. I guess it'd need more of those things to get featured. I'd be thrilled if it did, but that's really up to the community.
Anyone who wants to try to spread the word and get this some more views, I wouldn't object to, but I'm not out to try and force my way on there. ;)
I am glad it helped you to reflect on your own life, by the way. I've gotten that response quite a bit about this story.
Thanks. The sequel still has quite a bit of work left to do, but I like how it's turning out so far and I think it should be even better than this story.
Glad to hear that it has some lasting power!
>>13403961340396 I know it takes time to get to the featured list, i was just being silly.
Hey, I remember this story. Love it, and its really well written, but it feels like an MLP fiction in name only. Curious to see where you take the sequel.
You might want to fix this bit of text though.
Her mane was almost the same color, just the teensiest shade darker, more tan, and her cutie mark was Rainbow Dash explained. a dark grey raincloud.
a dark grey raincloud.
Thank you! The text is fixed.
I have gotten a few comments from people on their feeling that the story didn't need to be in an MLP format to be told basically as-is. I agree, actually. That was one of the difficult points of writing the whole thing as one conversation - there's not a whole lot of worldbuilding external to the characters that's really possible to use to set a firm definition that this *must* be Equestria. It was also sort of hard to do with the characters themselves, at least in the way some people see them written here, because they've departed somewhat from how they may have been in the series. That's deliberate, though, not the result of just writing different personalities into familiar names. I had to make my best attempt to extrapolate how the experiences they describe may have changed them, particularly Rainbow Dash. It's resulted in sort of an odd mix - I've had people disagreeing with my assessments of those changes tell me that Rainbow Dash feels out of character, but on the other hand even more who tell me that after thinking through the kinds of things she talks about, they feel like she's absolutely dead on for what they'd expect her to be! It's an open field for contention, I suppose. I just tried to do the best I could.
The sequel has much more dynamic to it for these things to emerge in, so I suppose feedback from that may tell me less ambiguously whether I'm succeeding or failing.
Read this a long time ago on dA. Faved it then, and I'm faving it now. Excellent story.
For what it's worth, I don't think Rainbow Dash feels out of character, given the circumstances she talks about having lived through. Under those circumstances, I think its a fair intrepretation of her character. Not the only one, but a fair one. It's just the conflict that feels out of place, because we have no context for it outside of Rainbow's point of view. As you said, there's no reason why this story MUST be equestria. Change the names and drop any reference to them being ponies and I could see this as a conversation in virtually any war story.
Still an excellent story though and I'm looking forward to the sequel.
Do you know how ridiculously good this story is? I don't think you do. I think I'm going to write a review. A glowing one. All my like, take it ALL.
Well... Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
>>13779591377959 Absolutely no problem. I thank you for writing it in the first place.
>>13779591377959 If you're interested, here it is.
Thanks for the kind words!
For anyone waiting for the sequel, you can read about its progress in the journals I've written on my deviantArt journals. (http://wdeleon.deviantart.com/)
You can also see my MLP fanart there in the gallery, too, if you're interested.
Oh, I remember reading this before on deviantart! I loved it then, and still love it now. I think you did a really good job getting Rainbow's thought processes across - it really seems like something she would think about (if this series took place in a more mature world, of course). Wonderful job - this really should have more likes. Also, looking forward to the sequel you mentioned
I remember this!!!! :D :D :D
Excellent. I still like it.
And a point or three for the Marcus Aurelius quote.
I'm another one of those people who read this quite a while back (in my case, when I started reading FiM fanfiction).
Still just as awesome as I remember it.
The characterization, the atmosphere, and many more things are just so well-done. Have a long-belated like and favorite!
I ain't never been a soldier but I can empathize with the view points in this story. I have been to some bad places and letting go really is the best medicine. Whether your trying to move past a horrible past or just get back up on yer feet, letting go is hardest part but it is what you gotta learn to do. I applaud you for this story and award you a few staches