Cobalt Swirls 8 4 34

Joined August 2012
88 followers

Cobalt Swirls's Stories (8)

Sleep Tight, My Love
Spike's thought's and feelings as he spends time with Rarity in her final moments.
2,112 words · 5,269 views · 488 likes · 12 dislikes
Little Princess
Applejack visits Applebloom.
2,561 words · 1,565 views · 152 likes · 3 dislikes
I'm Still Great and Powerful
After accidently injuring Trixie, Rarity does everything she can to help her through her recovery.
6,230 words · 401 views · 31 likes · 0 dislikes
From Lylat, With Love
The Star Fox team makes a jump to the Meeza system, home of the planet Equestria.
11,380 words · 757 views · 52 likes · 4 dislikes
Friendship in C Minor
7,666 words · 372 views · 22 likes · 1 dislikes
The Fleeting Angel
3,634 words · 387 views · 23 likes · 2 dislikes
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
8,742 words · 484 views · 25 likes · 5 dislikes
The OC Story
1,067 words · 232 views · 15 likes · 2 dislikes

Cobalt Swirls's Blog (4)

15 2

232

The OC Story by Cobalt Swirls

Source

Comedy

Meet Jargon Von Invincible, the greatest Gary-Stu to ever live, and join him in this satirical one-shot adventure for total control over Equestria. Will he take the throne for himself? Will he survive the perils and challenges? Will he conquer all those before him? Of course he will, it's an overpowered OC story.

First Published
24th Sep 2012

Last Modified
24th Sep 2012

Stats

Comments ( 5 )

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Evil Homer

#1 · 38w, 1d ago ·

Honestly, it's too short. You had a good startup and premise but shot your wad too quickly.

I love satirical Mary Sue stories that don't take themselves seriously but felt you could have done more with this.

DancesWithBaglez

#2 · 38w, 1d ago ·

Well done, good sir. Stories like this give me the warm fuzzies. For your efforts, you shall receive a mustache and an Octavia plot. :moustache:

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_plot.png

NATOstrike

#3 · 38w, 1d ago ·

Evil Homer is right... way too short.

The first paragraph had me laughing my ass off. This is comedy gold, why did it have to be so short?

legionbrony

#4 · 38w, 1d ago ·

Lol, it IS too short. We need to bask in Jargon's invincible-ness longer! :pinkiehappy:

Wisher

#5 · 38w, 1d ago ·

So epic :rainbowlaugh: I love how you added some very subtle elements of real OC trainwrecks, like awkward grammar mistakes ("the wall of the dining hall blow apart") and, of course, the compulsory Skrillex mention. Perhaps that's the reason why it's so purposefully short and seemingly rushed?

In any case, :moustache:

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