Chapter 9: Delinquency
Princess Luna couldn't help but to murmur to herself as she sat in the corner of the yellow room, wondering aloud about what had just happened. The murmurs didn't form any coherent words, but instead were mostly just the sounds and grunts that she made as she wondered audibly. If a psychiatrist would try to explain it, the stallion or mare might say that it was the sound of pure confusion that was not limited by actual language. Instead of forcefully jumbling the thoughts around and jamming them into a language structure that was both rigid and stale, the sounds that she made were the pure music of her mental organ as it played its wondrous tune.
Because of this type of analysis, Luna hated psychiatrists.
When she first left the dream, she had been thrilled and excited about the first venture into an animal's mind. In fact, if her memory served her correctly, she was many leagues more excited by this dream than any of the others that she had been into—including Zecora's. She couldn't explain it really. Maybe it was because Luna had discovered that other animals—while not sentient—were capable of complex and vivid dreams. Maybe it was because there was a thrill to the danger that the dream presented, and that because she was always in constant action, she got an extra dose of wonderful adrenaline. Maybe it was because she was much closer to the savagery of an alligator than the more refined nature of ponies.
It was that last thought that had put her into this state.
For her entire existence she had thought of herself as a refined, dignified, and regal mare. Sure, she liked to let her mane down at times, and sure, when it came to these three traits, her older sister definitely took the cake, but Luna tried her best to present herself with a certain degree of decorum. She realized that she was far more rambunctious than her sister, but she never thought that it was a bad thing. Indeed, she thought that this brought out a much more creative side of her, and was the major reason why spending every sunset creating her masterpiece of a sky was so thrilling.
However, what if she was wrong? What if there was nothing regal about her? What if the Luna that she was now was just a fraud—a phony—and she was actually something much more barbaric? What if the monster from a thousand years ago was her true self, and she was now only denying what she really was? What if the Elements of Harmony didn't purge the curse of Nightmare Moon from her, but had actually forced their will upon her mind, leaving nothing but an easily managed princess behind? What if... what if she was a mistake?
Such thoughts tended to put ponies in corners, and also tended to make them think.
It also made Luna vow to herself. Softly, she whispered, “Never again am I going into an animal's dream. Too much thinking afterward.”
Finally, after contemplating her existence for much longer than she had ever wanted to—she wasn't entirely fond of philosophers either—Luna brought herself to her hooves, and began to make her way back towards the small crack in the window that she had used to enter. Readying her spell, she prepared to turn herself back into a mist, and fly off into the sky. Luna ignited her horn, and—
A soft mutter broke Luna's concentration. “I must find the... answer...”
Looking back towards the bed, Luna saw that Pinkie Pie was still half snoring, half murmuring to herself. While now there was a little bit of green to break the otherwise uniform color, the pink pony neatly blended in with the pink and magenta floral covers. So much so, that it was nearly painful to the eyes to look directly at the massive concentration of pink.
As Luna approached the bed, she let a small smile form on her face. “Why the heck not? I was planning on viewing your dreams earlier. Might as well get what I came for.”
Finally at the side of Pinkie's bed, Luna lit her horn, bent down, and—making sure to avoid the alligator-shaped obstacle—touched Pinkie's forehead.
In the various dreams up to this point, Luna's consciousness had been taken to many wondrous places filled with some of the most exotic of locations. From pirate airship battles to rap battles, every dream fit the pony—or in Gummy's case, alligator's—outlook on life. Fluttershy was a much more timid pony, and so her location was much calm and relaxing, while Rainbow Dash was much more athletic and excitable—her various locations and activities showing that aspect very well. There were some exceptions to these rules, but they were mostly minor, and even with them, Luna was always fascinated with where the mind could take her.
Apparently, Pinkie's mind decided to take her to a dimly lit room, with nothing but a table, two chairs, and a single lamp in it.
It was strange in every single way imaginable to her, for everything she knew about Pinkie Pie and the way that the pony tended to be extremely excitable all went against what Luna was looking at now. She expected to see the pony prancing through a land filled with candy and race cars. She expected to see the pony in a winter wonderland throwing snowballs at the fabled yeti. She expected a tale where she and another pony were connected at the waist, making both ends the top half of two different ponies. Luna expected something grand and amazing.
Luna did not expect to enter the dream to see Pinkie Pie sitting at one of the chairs, looking over several folders worth of papers. Yes, Gummy was with Pinkie, but he was also very subdued. The two were sitting there looking over these papers—the mare with a hoof to her chin while the alligator just stood there blinking—as if their entire lives depended on it. Considering that neither seemed to be under any pressure, Luna doubted this dream consisted of the apocalypse.
Pinkie's voice broke Luna out of her thoughts. “I don't know, Gumster. Could be any one of them...”
Gummy slowly blinked.
As if she knew exactly what he just blink-said, Pinkie looked back down at the papers on the desk, and murmured, “No... I can't discount her, even considering her background. She has a motive as well.”
Motive? Motive for what?
Pinkie took another few seconds to look at the files in front of her, as if one of them would suddenly jump out and reveal some hidden truth. Alas, files do not jump, and so she was stuck at where she was in her question. Luna wished she knew what Pinkie was trying to figure out, but the mare wasn't giving any sort of indication as to what she was thinking. Believing that the files would give some information, Luna approached the desk, and looked over the mare's shoulder.
Sadly, it was then that Pinkie swiped up the stacks of paper, and closed the file. Looking back to the only door into the room, Pinkie sternly said, “Bring in the first suspect.”
Instantly, the door opened, and the most peculiar creature that she had ever seen in... well... alright, the living apples probably were the strangest things, but this was a close second. The creature was a biped—that much was certain, but there were so many things that were just off with it. While the creature had two legs, it didn't seem to have any sort of feet—the legs ending in two stubby curves. While the creature had two arms, it didn't seem to have any hands or fingers—both arms ending in simple curves as well. Finally, while the creature had a head, it didn't seem to have any sort of visible neck—and that wasn't even mentioning the fact that its head was as tall as the rest of her body.
If Luna had to take a guess, she would assume that the creature was a female, for the blue dress that the creature wore reminded Luna of the various outfits that mares wore every so often. In fact, blue seemed to be a theme with this girl, for not only was her dress blue, but her eyes were two of the bluest she had ever seen. Add in the very blonde mane, the white stockings, and the black buckle shoes that went over her... stubs, and it made for an interesting picture.
Oh, and she appeared to be able to fly without any wings.
Slowly, as if she had said a bad word in front of a teacher, the girl floated towards the side of the desk opposite to Pinkie. A frown on her face, the girl's massive blue eyes were downcast onto the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the entire room. Finally, when she got to the chair, she lowered herself down, and sat at the desk—her eyes still looking down.
Pinkie was the one to finally break the ice. “It's good to finally meet you, Miss...”
“Utonium,” the girl barely whispered. “My name is Bubbles Utonium. Umm... you can call me Bubbles though...”
“I see, trying to get friendly with the detective here,” Pinkie said as she leaned her head forward onto her forehooves. “Very suspicious.”
Any further words that the girl was going to say were forever lost to the fear that welled up inside of her just then. Eyes wide open, Bubbles looked up at Pinkie, the mare currently smiling with a knowing grin. The two only kept their eyes locked for a second or two, before Bubbles quickly looked back down at her lap. In fact, if Luna wasn't mistaken, she could've sworn that she saw the girl lower herself a little bit in her chair in a subconscious attempt to escape.
Pinkie either didn't seem to mind, or didn't care, for she continued to probe the girl for information. “So, Bubbles, where were you last Tuesday, around... say... 5pm?”
Bubbles—while she still attempted to hide herself with the edge of the table—thought back to the time. Instead of a quick response, the girl took quite a while to bring the information to the forefront of her mind. Suddenly, Luna saw the moment that Bubbles remembered the memory—the girl's huge eyes lighting up slightly in remembrance.
However, instead of telling Pinkie what she remembered, she softly said, “Umm... I... uhh... I don't remember.”
Pinkie had apparently seen the the flash of insight too, for she planted her forehooves onto the table, and leaned even further forward. “Are you sure you don't remember, or do you just not want to tell me? Hmm?”
If possible, Bubbles hid further in her chair from Pinkie. “Umm... I...”
“You better think very carefully about what you say next, young lady. Keep in mind that libel is a very serious crime here, especially when it comes to fanfiction.”
Fanfiction? What is that?
Bubble's eyes flew open at those sentences. Sitting up a little bit in her chair, she said in the loudest voice she had made yet, “Please! I promise I didn't do anything! I have an alibi! It's just... umm...”
“Umm?” Pinkie mocked her.
“Umm... it's just...” Bubbles slumped back into her chair again, “...embarrassing.”
Pinkie slammed her hoof into the table once more, and with a righteous fury in her voice, she shouted louder than ever before. “I don't care if you were playing dress up with Buttercup, you better spill it, or I’m calling the officers in here now, and throwing you in the slammer for the night! Capisce!?”
The entire time Pinkie yelled, Bubbles shifted herself in her chair, but otherwise was expressionless. That was until Pinkie's final expression, to which she closed her eyes, and yelled. “Mojo Jojo and I were playing Monkey Madhouse!”
Pinkie blinked. “...What?”
Who?
“Monkey Madhouse is a really fun board game, but none of my sisters like the charades involved in it. Also... umm... Mojo Jojo is lonely a lot of the time in his observatory, so every other Tuesday, I go there, and play with him.” Bubbles smiled a little bit finally. “We especially like the charades that involve us flinging—”
“I don't need to know!” Pinkie interrupted as she closed her eyes. Taking a second to gather her thoughts, the mare leaned back into her chair, and sighed. “I don't suppose you have any sort of proof. Hmm?”
“Well, I think Mojo Jojo has cameras set up all over his observatory. I could ask him if it's alright if I can—”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” Pinkie once against interrupted Bubbles. Slowly, she took a deep breath, held it, then released it in a string of words. “I'm looking forward to seeing those tapes. Until then, you may go.”
Nodding in reply, Bubbles stood up from the chair, and once again floating in the air, made her way towards the door. The girl didn't even take a single look back before the door before her opened without warning—some force on the other side somehow knowing exactly when to open it—allowing her to float through and into the darkness of the room beyond. It was only another second longer before Luna saw the door slam shut, leaving Pinkie Pie and Gummy alone to reflect on the conversation that Pinkie had just had with the frightened girl.
As soon as the door closed, Pinkie sat back in her chair, and sighed heavily. “I don't even need to see the video to know that that girl is innocent.” Looking towards Gummy, Pinkie sighed once again. “Oh Gummy, what am I supposed to do now? Bringing in this suspect didn't yield any useful results at all! In fact, if anything, I’m even more confused than I was before. I mean, Bubbles and Mojo Jojo? Crazy! Anyway, what should I do, Gummy?”
Gummy blinked slowly—his two eyes out of sync.
Pinkie nodded. “That's true, but I don't think our department has the budget to acquire enough antimatter to fuel such a device. Besides, even if I could calibrate the dials like you suggest, I think we might form a crater the size of the Everfree Forest in the process. Definitely a no go. Sorry Gummy.”
Gummy blinked again.
Pinkie leaned in her chair slightly. “So, what do you think we should do, Luna?”
Personally, I believe the most prudent action would be to call in the next suspect.
Leaning back forward in her chair, the mare finally allowed a smile to form on her face. “That's the best idea there is! Thanks!”
No probl... wait what!?
Not bothering to reply, Pinkie yelled out. “Bring in suspect number two!”
The door opened once again, allowing the next suspect to enter the room. While Bubbles timidly floated into the room when she came entered, this next suspect literally was hopping around as she came inside. It was the same species as Bubbles, but that was where the similarities ended, and all of the massive differences began.
For starters, while Bubbles was wearing a cute little blue dress, this one was wearing a violet jumpsuit with a hood and mask—somewhat similar to how Lyra had been dressed. The only exceptions to the violet motif being her boots, belt, gloves, the inside of her billowing cape, and the bat-like symbol on her chest. Those were a much more yellow hue, allowing them to stand out in stark contrast to the rest of her outfit. A fiery red mane stuck out from beneath the pointy-eared mask, accented heavily by the otherwise muted colors of her outfit. Finally, the last point of major interest was her eyes. Those massive eyes—though not as disproportionally large as Bubbles'—were a bright green hue, and were curiously devoid of any pupils.
It weirded Luna out a little.
Still hopping around the desk, the girl began to excitedly talk at a mile a minute. “Why was I called into an interrogation room? I mean, I know I fight crime and everything, but I usually just catch the bad guys, not do weird interview things to help with the trials or anything.”
Pinkie followed the girl with her eyes. “Batgirl...”
Batgirl ignored her. “Unless I’m here because I’m in trouble, and I’m the one that is supposed to be thrown in jail. But that doesn't make any sense! I’m not a bad guy. I’m a good guy! I know I am! I asked Supergirl and Wondergirl this morning and everything!”
“Batgirl...”
“I mean, I look cool and everything! Cool looking people can't be bad guys! Well... alright, so Mr. Freeze looks pretty cool, and he's not really a nice guy, but that's the one exception! See? I’m cool! I have a cape! Whoosh! Cape!”
“Batgirl!!”
Startled by the sudden scream, Batgirl tripped over her own two feet, flipped through the air, and fell flat on her flank. Looking over her shoulder, she still retained her bright smile. “Yes, Pinkie?”
With a hardened glare at the superhero, Pinkie used her rear hooves to push the chair across from her out from the table. “Sit.”
“Oh... fine,” Batgirl pouted. Slowly, she got herself back onto her feet, and after brushing a little bit of dust off of her flank, she sulked around the table. Finally at her chair, she heavily fell into it—the sound of a loud thud sounding off as a result. She sighed, and after she looked away from Pinkie, she crossed her arms across her chest, and continued to pout.
It didn't appear to slow Pinkie's interrogation down at all. Instead, it only seemed to give the mare newfound suspicions. “Do you know why you're here?”
Batgirl looked back around at Pinkie, but continued to keep her arms crossed. “No, I don't! I mean, like I said, all I do is fight crime, look cool, or do both at once! I’m a good guy. Good guys don't do bad things!”
Pinkie leaned forward, and rested herself on her elbows. “Even the mightiest of heroes can fall.”
“Not me though!” Batgirl exclaimed, leaning back as she did so. Unfolding her arms, she pointed her right thumb at herself. “I can't fall, because I’m, like, super buoyant and stuff! When you're as happy and buoyant as me, you can't fall!”
For her part, Pinkie never moved. “I’m sure that's what Harvey Dent felt as well, before he turned into Two Face.”
That line must have struck close to home in some way, for all of the peppy gibber jabber that Batgirl was spouting constantly suddenly dried up. For a second, her face was that of complete blindsided shock. However, once that second passed, that face shifted from shock, to a solemn acceptance—most likely of the situation she was currently in. Still, even with the apparent acceptance, Batgirl still had all of the body language of a biped in defiance—crossed arms, crossed legs, and her body was leaned back.
Finally, Batgirl spoke with a voice that was more normal than she had used since she first entered the room. “Shoot.”
Now with her prey cornered, Pinkie happily took her time to ask her first question. Scooting her chair forward, she took a few seconds to make sure that Gummy was happy where he was on the table. Pinkie apparently got her answer with a blink of his eyes, for as soon as he did this, she turned back toward Batgirl, and asked, “So, Batgirl, you're a powerful force for good. Correct?”
Batgirl continued to recline in her chair. “One of the most powerful.”
“But not the most powerful. Superman, Son Goku, Doctor Strange, and so many more are more powerful than you. In fact, I would suspect that even a certain Twilight Sparkle is more powerful than—”
“Hey!” Batgirl leaned forward suddenly, once again slamming her hands on the table in front of her. With a face much more angry than a second before, she pointed forcefully at Pinkie. “Don't put those heroes, or me for that matter, in the same sentence with that horse! She's no better than some street magician that does card tricks.”
Pinkie leaned forward as well. “So is that it? Couldn't handle playing second fiddle to a cute little pony? Stress got to you, so you decided to destroy her reputation with a graphic clopfic? Hmm?”
Batgirl didn't back down. “Never!”
Slamming a hoof hard on the table, Pinkie shouted, “Then prove it!”
“When it was submitted online, I was grounded, and had my computer taken away.”
All of the force that Pinkie was throwing at Batgirl was blunted right there. “...What?”
Really?
“Yup. Grounded. I didn't have access to the internet at all.”
Pinkie blinked for a few seconds, before slowly saying, “Really? A badass like you... was grounded...”
“Hey!” Batgirl leaned back, and once again crossed her arms. “Remember, there's a teenage girl behind this mask.”
“...Get out.”
With those two words, Batgirl's mood instantly shifted. She once again became her bubbly and friendly self. With happiness spilling out with every single word, she reached forward with her hand, and forcefully shook Pinkie's hoof. “Aw, don't be all mad! You did a really really good job! You even had me convinced for a second that I did it! I’m sure you'll find out who wrote the nasty icky fanfic. Until then, make sure to keep your chin up, and if you find out that he is still on the loose, give me a call, and the Super Best Friends Forever will come and help you out! Until then!”
In an instant, Batgirl zipped herself out of the room—the door closing behind her. Immediately after, Pinkie began to grumble to herself about the case she was tasked with. Slowly, she reached for a drawer in the desk in front of her, and with a forceful pull, opened it. Pinkie reached in, and after sifting through several things, pulled out an unlabeled bottle of clear liquid. Sifting through the drawer some more, Pinkie eventually pulled out a small shot glass.
Pinkie carefully used her teeth to uncork the bottle, and with a heavy sigh, used her hooves to carefully pour a generous amount of the fluid into the small glass. Filling the shot glass to the brim—a tiny bit of the drink spilling slightly onto the table underneath. Pinkie quickly righted the bottle, and after she corked it, took the glass in her hooves. With another sigh, she lifted the glass, and downed the entire thing in a single gulp.
Pinkie let the liquid stay in her mouth for only an instant before swallowing the contents in their entirety. Obviously feeling a burning sensation, Pinkie closed her eyes in pain, breathing in a large amount of air from her nose. She held the breath for a second, before she slowly released it from her mouth in an attempt to alleviate the painful sensation.
She finally opened her eyes, and after slamming the shot glass onto the table, said, “I picked the wrong week to stop drinking water...”
Pinkie kept her position for a little bit longer, allowing the feeling of the... water... to flow through her. Eventually though, she put the bottle and glass away, turned towards Gummy, and with a frown on her face, said, “I might as well bring out suspect number three, huh?”
Gummy snapped at a fly flying across his face.
“That's true, and I agree. Considering his profile, I also think it'd be a good idea to pull a Rarity on this one. Might persuade him to give up more information.” Pinkie looked towards the door, and yelled, “Bring in the third suspect!”
Just as the door opened, Pinkie whispered to Gummy, “Just please don't think badly of me, Gumster.”
For the first time today, the creature that walked through the door did it in a somewhat normal way—granted his steps were heavy with anger. He was wearing blue pants that were way too big for him and a black shirt that was perfectly sized for him. Over his shirt, he was wearing a plaid jacket that he decided to leave unbuttoned. Further, he had rolled up the sleeves of the jacket up to his elbows, so that his forearms were left bare. Add in white shoes, and his outfit, while still strange by pony standards, was much more normal and average looking than the Batgirl's.
His face was... interesting. His head was very angular to say the least—the sides of his head went straight down, with his chin forming with perfect angles made from the sides of his face. Strangely, his hairless skin on his face was covered with bumpy imperfections, though Luna had no idea what might have been causing this. His mane was a jet black color, and while it was cut much shorter than Batgirl's and Bubbles', it still came down to just above his shoulders.
As soon as she saw the boy walk in, Pinkie waved a forelegs across the table to gesture for him to sit down. “Terrence, my sweet, lovely man, how are you today?”
Not responding to the first part of the sentence, Terrence sat down on the chair, and crossed his arms. “Whatever.”
With a gentle smile on her face, Pinkie got up from her chair, and began to slowly walk around the table. “Come now, don't treat a lady like that. All I asked is how you were doing. Is that too much to ask?”
The entire time, Terrence looked away from Pinkie. After a second, he shrugged, and mumbled, “I'm doing alright.”
“There, was that that hard to say?” Pinkie giggled as she asked. Passing behind Terrence's chair, she casually brushed her tail against his back as she walked. “So I hear you don't like fictional characters... do you?”
Terrence looked down at Pinkie. “Imaginary creatures.”
Pinkie seemed to at least partially ignore the response, for as she sat herself down on the floor next to him—a pleading look in her eyes—she looked up and asked, “Why is that?”
He shrugged. “Just do. Probably started because my annoying little brother has the worst one out there, but they're all bad. Hate them all really.”
“Oh dear...” Pinkie trailed off as she thought to herself. Slowly, she lifted a forehoof to his leg, and with gentle strokes, began running the pink appendage up and down his leg softly. “Is that why you'd be so mean to Twi-Twi?”
Terrence looked down at his leg—more at the hoof running along it than anything else—before he looked up at Pinkie's eyes. “What?”
“Twilight Sparkle. You wrote a really mean clopfiction of her and Princess Celestia, didn't you?”
That caused the boy's eyes to open wide in shock. “What!? No! I didn't!”
Suddenly, Pinkie jumped up, and with a very unmanly squeak from Terrence, landed on his lap. He was too shocked at the recent turn of events to react as Pinkie slowly got herself comfortable on his lap—her legs straddling his midsection now. Slowly after she got herself situated, she slowly began to run a forehoof teasingly along his shirt-clad chest.
With the voice of the most powerful seductress, Pinkie whispered, “Come on... you can tell me. It'll be our little secret.”
It was then that Terrence had finally had enough. Forcefully, he shoved Pinkie off of his lap—the action eliciting a startled squeak from her. The shove sent the touchy-feely mare tumbling to the floor and onto her back with a thunk. Looking up with wide eyes, Pinkie looked on as Terrence glared at her with fury in his eyes. Luna was not exactly proficient with romance and seduction, but even she could guess that Pinkie's attempts were not entirely successful.
Terrence stood up on the opposite side of the chair he was previously sitting in, and with a hardened glare, pointed at Pinkie. “A few things. First, you are a horse. Ew. Second, Twilight, as girly as unicorns are, is not an imaginary creature. Just fictional. I don't have anything against fictional creatures. Third, if I wanted to get rid of her, I would be direct and maybe hit her with a stick or something. Fourth, I don't write anything. Ever. Writing is lame.
“Now if I have proven my point enough, can I go now?” he asked with crossed arms.
Shakily, Pinkie stood back up onto her hooves—a look of both scorn and slight disappointment in her eyes. She didn't respond to his question immediately. Instead, she looked at herself, and carefully brushed off any dust or dirt that might have gotten onto her bright pink coat. Satisfied that she was clean enough, she looked up, and with her own glare, said, “Yes... yes you may.”
Terrence turned around, and made his way towards the door on the wall behind him. Upon reaching it, he gave a few hard knocks, the door opening once again by a mysterious force on the other side. Without even looking back, he stepped through into the darkness, and slammed the door shut behind him. The slam caused the now lonely mare to finch from the sound, though otherwise she remained completely stoic.
Before she could do anything though, the door opened back up again, with Terrence's head popping through. “Hey, Pinkie Pie.”
Her ears perking up, she turned around, and looked into his eyes. “Yes... Terrence?”
Terrence pointed at Pinkie one more time. “Gross.” Pinkie didn't even bother to react this time as he slammed the door closed. However, she did sigh depressingly as she trudged back towards the long abandoned chair that Gummy was standing next to.
“I don't get it,” she mumbled to herself as she hopped onto her chair. Circling a little bit to find the most comfortable spot, she sat herself down on the hard wood. “I just don't get it. None of them did it. Bubbles didn't do it, because she was with Mojo Jojo. Batgirl didn't do it because she was grounded. Terrence couldn't have done it because... well... I don't think he is capable of romantically writing himself out of a paper bag. If they didn't do it... then who...”
With that, Pinkie brought a forehoof to her chin, and thought long and hard about the case before her. Luna had to admit, if Batgirl's and Bubbles' alibis held true, then they definitely couldn't have... well... uploaded anything to this inner net rope thing. Terrence, as Pinkie rightfully put it, didn't have any sort of intellect or the romantic feelings to pull off such a thing. In fact, if these were the only three suspects in the case, then it appeared that this graphic sexual story came from nowhere.
Pinkie picked her head up from her hoof. “Unless...”
Unless?
Pinkie quickly pulled out a piece of paper and a quill, and with a flurry of head motions, began to write out some sort of message. Despite her best attempts, Luna wasn't able to read whatever the mare was writing, for her large poofy mane was in the way. It didn't take long for Pinkie to finish the note, and after it was done, she folded it once in half, and handed it to Gummy. Somehow knowing exactly what to do, Gummy quickly snapped the note into his toothless maw, and scampered along the floor towards the door. As he approached, the door suddenly opened a small bit—just large enough for him to fit through. After he ran through the gap, the door closed once more, leaving Luna and Pinkie alone in the room.
Being alone with the pony that apparently could either see, hear, or guess what Luna was saying was a little unnerving. Thankfully, that didn't last very long, for as soon as the door closed did it open again. Gummy was once again running along the floor on his way back to Pinkie, but he had also apparently brought a friend.
Pinkie smiled. “Twi-Twi. Good to see you!”
“And good to see you too!” Twilight smiled back as she used her magic to levitate the note Pinkie had just written into the room. “I got the note that you gave to Gummy. Apparently you wanted to see me? You find out who did it?”
Pinkie kicked the chair across the table from her. “I believe I did.”
“Good, and thank you!” Twilight beamed as she trotted over to the chair that was offered to her. Carefully, she hopped up on the hard wooden seat, and after circling around like Pinkie did before, she sat herself down. “So... who did it?”
Pinkie leaned forward. “You.”
“Me?”
Her?
Pinkie leaned down for a second to pick up Gummy, and place him on the table next to her. “Yes, you. You wrote the clopfiction.”
As if she was thrown into an oven, Twilight instantly began to sweat. “Wh... what? That's... that's silly! I wouldn't—”
“Not only did you write it,” Pinkie continued, “but you were the one that submitted it online, but when you realized how bad it would probably look to both you and your 'precious mentor', you couldn't handle the consequences, so you blamed it on someone else. The only question I have... is why did you write it at all?”
If Twilight was sweating before, her pores were now like tiny little fire hoses. Her eyes now nothing but pinpricks, she quickly looked around the room for any way she could get out other than the door to her right. However, there was no way in or out other than the single door, and that was controlled by a mystical force that seemed to let whatever Pinkie wanted in and out of that room.
Twilight finally broke.
With flailing forelegs in the air, Twilight cried, “I wrote it because I love her!”
“What?”
What?
While Luna and Pinkie were stunned beyond words, Gummy was not nearly as stunned, for he quickly leaped for Twilight. With quick movements, pulled out two sets of hoofchains, and quickly shackled the mare's forelegs together with one side of each. Twilight at first was surprised, but she had apparently resigned herself to her fate, for she didn't attempt to resist at all as Gummy shackled her rear hooves to her forelegs—preventing any attempts the mare might have at running away. Finally, Gummy flipped himself onto Twilight's head and put a small inhibitor ring around her horn.
That all done, Gummy attached a leash to Twilight's neck, and with a small yank, began to pull the mare away. She never resisted, and with her head down in absolute shame, she walked out of the room. As always, the mystical force opened the one doorway out of the room. Twilight stopped for a second, and with one last look back—her eyes showing nothing but despair—she turned back around, and walked out of the room.
All Pinkie could do was shake her head and pull out the bottle of water in the drawer. Not even bothering to use the glass this time, she lifted the bottle to her lips. Just before she began to drink she murmured, “That mare is messed up...”
Luna lifted her head away from Pinkie's, and with the most confused of faces, looked at the pink pony below her. She was no long murmuring to herself, but was instead now drooling fairly heavily out of the sides of her mouth. It was all Luna could do to turn away, and begin to make her way towards the window behind her. However, even so, she couldn't help but to shake her head in a mixture of both disgust, shock, and shame.
“Surprisingly,” Luna said as she magicked open the window she came from fully, “that isn't even the strangest dream so far. Not by a long shot.”
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Alright now my previous comment is correct
This is easily the FUNNIEST chapter from any fimfic I have read read.
Good 'un, ugugg93.
oh god
my lungs, they hurts
Are you trying to kill me, ugugg93?
...my sides! This was a great chapter, and a wonderful look into the 4th wall breaking dreams of Pinkie Pie. I really love this story. I can't wait to see the next dream Luna enters into.
All of my yes! Nice shout out to Faust. The fic in question was called Faithfully?
>>>Finally, Gummy flipped himself onto Twilight's head and put a small inhibitor ring around her horn.>>>
Oh noes! An inhibitor ring! Nothing can ever get it off! *Twilight sighs and lowers her head... the ring slips off her conical horn* Oh, well, except gravity.
For some reason this sentence feels wrong, but i can't tell.
Unfortunately, i have no reaction gifs nor pics for what i just read, so have something really funny to make up for it:
i514.photobucket.com/albums/t342/damiano014/h52D45F74_zps9279dac6.jpg
Also, i didn't know tara was batgirl Super Best Friends Forever, thanks for that lovely bit of trivia.
I was waiting for raven to up, that would have been great. Also, am
I supposed to know who Terrance is or is he just a guy?
2102065
All characters, including Terrence, are Tara Strong's characters. I think Terrence was in Foster's home for Imaginary Friends. The brother I think?
So Tara Played Terrence, now that I think about it that makes perfect sense.
Little known fact, every single one of these shows that I mentioned (obviously including MLP) were shows that Faust and Strong worked together in. That is what determined what characters I picked. Sure, I could've done the Iron Giant (Faust) or Fairy Oddparents (Strong), but this felt much better
2097395 It ended well for all but dream-Twilight. She kinda got arrested and sent to death row.
2097477 Thank you! I appeciate the wonderful praise
2098730 ...Yes.
2099090 I tried to keep the 4th wall breaking to a minimum. I don't like fics that are super in your face about it, yet it is part of Pinkie's character. Therefore, I stay low-key about it.
2099314 Honestly, I just made up a random fic. There was no reference to a fiction at all. Of course, who many clopfics of Twilestia are there out there?
2101078 Except for the fact that it is designed to be slightly twisted when put on, so that it "catches" on the grooves of the horn—kinda like a bottlecap—which keeps it on. Because it is a screw, it makes it nearly impossible for a unicorn to get one's own inhibitor ring off, though it is possible. Also... it's a God damn dream. Deal with it
2101313 I looked at the sentence, and I can't see whatever you are seeing. That said, yes she is. I was kinda surprised as well... very happily surprised.
2102065 Terrence is Mac's brother from Foster's home for imaginary friends. I didn't do Raven because Faust had nothing to do with Teen Titans.
2104129 Hoofbeat 2 is a comic, so nope! I just made up a random fic, but how many of them involving Twiliesta are out there? It is referencing all of them combined.
2105759 The end is the best part! I think...
2106360 Yes. The dumbass.
2108066 ...How?
2109831 I just had to troll about those things. Inhibitor rings are one of those plot devices used in 'serious' fics without too much thought most of the time. They're just a conveniently lazy contrivance to stop Twilight or Rarity's magic (90+% of the stories with inhibitor rings feature one or both of them as the main characters).
In a dream is one of the few places one can get away with it. Because it's a dream and doesn't have to make sense. ESPECIALLY when it turns into a clop dream! Then all kinds of weird kinky stuff can happen! Like this one time I was in bed with Celestia and Luna and they were restraining me with their... uhm...
*clears throat and adjust collar nervously before continuing*
The other legitimate way to use the rings is to give a feasible explanation of why they work and why a unicorn couldn't simply pry it off. (note: usually when a story describes these rings, the are described as 'rings', smooth, no grooves. And usually with no mention of some spell or whatnot that makes it impossible for the unicorn or a friend to remove. Thus, my annoyance with them in serious stories.)
2109914 I can both agree and disagree. On one hand, they are typically used as a plot device (along with a lot of other things, but I won't get into the dismemberment of Rainbow Dash's wings), and are poorly described, and lack a lot of the creativity on how they really work. Of course, the stories that TYPICALLY use these kinds of things like this are the ones that I wouldn't read anyway (because they usually aren't very good).
However...
It completely makes sense to exist. If they didn't, how would you EVER be able to incarcerate a unicorn for any length of time? Even the least magical of unicorns can do telekinesis, which is enough to get out of a lot of prisons—a few creative uses of telekinesis on the tumbliers of a lock for example. The only way you could keep a unicorn imprisoned would be to weld them into a cage, and even then it would be assuming they couldn't teleport like Twilight can. If you follow my blogs at all, you would know that I am a D&D finatic, and while high level, antimagic shackles exist, so why not an antimagic ring?
However, let's assume you want to get creative. Fine. Give them a ring that doesn't stop their magic at all. Instead, it is trapped with a spell so that if magic flows through the horn, it instantly triggers an electrical shock to the recipiant (or a stunning flash of light; whatever). If the unicorn is imprisoned in an evil nation, make the ring instead send a superheated blade into the horn, chopping it off.
TL;DNR: Inhibitor rings are overused yes, but do make sense in their world. However, there are creative ways to do the same thing.
2110107 You could always give unicorns antibiotics to knock down their midiclorion count.
(yes, I was hoping you'd respond just so I could use this.)
2109831 Tara is pronounced TEAR-uh, Terrence is pronounced TEAR-UH-NCE, think about it.
2110573 If you thought that was a twist ending, then what do you call this?
2110688 Midiclorions, while bacteria, have traits more similar to viruses than actual bacteria. Therefore>>2112669, because they can't be "killed" in the traditional definition, it wouldn't work.
2112669 Well, it makes sense for the others too! BUH-BULLS and BAT-GURL... hmm... alright I'll shut up now.
2119661 I WIN THEN!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYYAYAYAY
I don't even know...
2119916 Pretty sure the race to the bottom...
2119422 Then I'll use an antiviral cocktail containing acyclovir, cidofovir, efavirenz, imiquimod, interferons, nelfinavir, and podophyllotoxin.
(YOU CANNOT WIN AGAINST THE POWER OF SCIENCE!!!)
2123569 I use a friendship virus.
2123636 Drugs ruin friendships all the time.
After Bubbles and Batgirl I was like, "Alright, time to bring out Timmy, Raven, and Ben!"
Having been born in the 90s, this chapter has earned every ounce of my yes.
4th wall destruction to the extreme!
whats the third guy from
2190051 Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends.
images.wikia.com/mlpfanart/images/e/e7/Luna_clapping.gif
You promised no more shipping
you LIER