"I think, therefore I am."
-Renés Descartes, Griffin Philosopher and Mathematician
A book on philosophy forces Twilight Sparkle to reconsider life and the world around her, especially after making a new friend.
Author's notes: Welp, let's see where this goes. Here's hoping things'll turn out well. Also, please. Please for the love of Luna and Celestia, please comment. I want this story, and I as an author, to improve. I can't do that alone.
I also strongly recommend that you, the reader, look closely at some of my text. There are a few obscure references and multiple-meaning word choices. I leave you to find them out
Random trivia: This story was inspired by my arguments against many well established philosophical concepts in my A-Level philosophy lessons. I cannot in good conscience let anything go as unchallenged fact without bombarding it with doubt. Therefore I have a lot of ammo for this story
Well this certainly looks interesting, Liked and faved. Can't wait to see more.
>>13489491348949 How very INTP of you.
I will certainly favorite this story, and follow it as well!
I have a feeling this is going to hurt my head, because philosophy does that to me. But I can't help it; it's so interesting!
There are a few very minor mechanical errors, but aside from that it's great!
"B-but Twilight!" He complained, had she maybe let him
Should have a period after 'complained', and a lowercase 'h' on 'he'. As I said, very minor.
Thanks for the feedback! Nice catch on the first point, however I don't agree with the second point in your corrections; I've been taught that speech counts as part of the sentence. So,
"Lolwut," he said. "That's confusing!" He continued.
Is correct to my understanding, I'll do some research and see if it's true for international standards.
And I will keep writing, I've even got the next chapter already written. I'm just staving off releasing it until the one after it is done, this way you guys'll get content even if I don't feel like writing that day.
Hmm, I'll have to confront my teacher on that; British and international standards adhear to the particular of punctuation you proposed, which I personally prefer.
Also, I write Twilight so well, I tell tautograms without thinking.
>>13547741354774 Well, here's how I see it:
"Lolwut," he said. is one sentence.
This is where it gets weird:
"That's confusing!" COULD be its own sentence, which would mean that He continued. would be capitalized.
HOWEVER, that would mean He continued. would NOT be referring to his statement of "That's confusing!"
It makes much more sense to have it be one sentence, which would mean it would only have one capital letter unless there was a proper noun in the sentence.
"That's confusing!" he said.
That's why there's a comma, to my knowledge they allow speech in the following fashion.
"My my," she wondered, "what do we have here?""I'm not quite sure," the other mused. "maybe it's merely a mystery?"
"I'm not quite sure," the other mused. "maybe it's merely a mystery?"
Gah. I do agree, however, that it would make more sense as a single quote; the example was terrible on my part, having been forced. This second example is more apt, as it helps set the mood before the sentence's end. This gives a more complex and varied structure, as well as allowing the speaker's last words to be the sentence's last too.
Darn punctuation, complicating simplicity.
Lol, I hate to be a puntuation nazi, but just bear with me while I get it out of my system.
Dat last sentence; it's incorrect. "I'm not quite sure," and "Maybe it's merely a mystery?" are two different statements. So the period between them is correct, but 'maybe' needs to be capitolized.
There, I'm done. xD
ooh a fan fiction based around ideological philosophy, I can't wait to see how this turns out.
I'm happy to see that you're using your interest in philosophy to write the story. Subjects such as this are very intriguing if done correctly, and you seem to be accomplishing just that.
Me too, I have one arc planned out, but the future after that is uncertain. Rest assured, the first arc can count off as a story by itself, but allows more day to day shenanigans than a definite ending afterwards.
This is unbelievably good to hear, I was worried I left philosophy too much on the back-burner! The problem is, in stressful situations, people are not predisposed to philosophy. This can be a problem as the story is a constantly stressful situation for the characters, and therefore finding moments where pondering would be probable is perilous.
>>13584981358498 To be fair, I think that Twilight would, in a situation resulting from research, obsess over the subject, in this case being philosophy, despite her general lack of mental reasoning under considerably stressful conditions.
Indeed, the next two chapters feature her attention entirely focussed on Renic.
I loled when Renic said he was bored as Twilight fell asleep
Mmmyes. I think you'll go far~
I have no idea what I'm doing
In other news, I feel the story's quality is receding. I'm not sure how, but it is. Please, tell me what's wrong, hypothetical reader!
Lastly, I'll be releasing a vampire fic, so @Stonershy -"Mwhahahaha!". It'll be completely different though, focussing on an Austraeoh like journey with my own exploration of vampirism. Fun fun fun. Don't worry about updates; I'll try to release at least one for this story every week.
Lastly INB4 first!
I like it, one thing that might help your "waning quality" is to bring in another point of view that explains things to the reader. this is an excellent chance to do the id, ego, and superego trilogy in a pony's mind but without a normal pony to compare it to, its not as shocking or unique as it should be. If one of the mane 6 helps Twilight and Renic understand that they are different aspects of the same pony and neither of them will "die" if they become one being again, it allows for the different aspects to go through "a day in the life" and play their roles to set the stage for when something unique or challenging happens.
just some thoughts.
Hmm, interesting ideas. I'll definitely bring somepony to contrast with. I also really like the idea of exploring the whole dying thing. I might try out the "id, ego and superego" fun, but the question is, which is Renic?
Renis is the super ego, where Twilight is the Ego, the part of her mind we see and she presents to the world. the Id would be her base desires. governed by the 4 Fs, Flee, Fight, Feed, and procreation. the Id can be more complicated but the idea is that the Id is our most base instincts.
I think I can see why you think the quality is receding due to this chapter being a short intro to Twilight's new "situation" coupled with the brevity. I think you might find the story becoming more engaging once you get her out and about, say, for getting groceries and being talked to. As far as I can tell, the story is still warming up. I hope you keep going until you find out what you want to do with the it.
Just a quick question, will you continue this? Or is it cancelled? I'm just curious since I'm currently sorting out my favorites.