Absolutely LOVE the story, except for the fact that the school bully has the same name as me, lol.

Holy junk...this fanfic is sexy

8th or 9th time I've seen that picture used as cover art. Yesh, that must be popular.

Sonuvabich! Well I guess someone finally wrote it before my lazy ass...

Anyway, really good start.

Definitely want more

pretty damned intriguing, just need some clean-up grammar work.

The summary was all I needed to read.

Image: http://t.qkme.me/35oqwt.jpg

I'm out.

>>13229911322991

Second time by the same writer, too.

Check the profile page.

Not a bad start. Definately looking forward to more

A great storyline, a mediocre execution. Something I noticed consistently was this:

"Shut up Seth".

"Oh we got a bad ass over here".

"I'm not going to take your B.S. today".

"OH really what you gonna do".

"Just knock it off".

"Or what"?

Speech mark: "

"Hi there!"

Quotation mark: '

Yes. 'Advice'. That's what this is called.

See the difference? I'm really bad at explaining stuff.

Image: http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/10/4/128991649687606467.jpg

Can't wait to see more of this.

Yes you can.

Oh, I guess your right.

Anyone get the reference?

But in all seriousness keep up the good work.

>>13233111323311 It's one of the asdf movies, of course!

...Throw The CHEEEEEEEESE!!!!!

>>13233251323325

Alien attack

Throw the CHEEEEESE!!!

Image: http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lva9l9a8Qx1r09zs6o1_500.gif

This premise... it pleases me immensely.

Please, do carry on.

Ok, so he only had one friend, tried to beat up a bully, got a huge meal from a cop, got beaten by his dad, and oh hey! Lets make it so he becomes an alicorn. That's in no way an over used plot where a depressed teen with no life to become an alicorn.

(facepalm)

No. Just no

"Teenage protagonist's every day life is hell.  Suddenly, they are transported to Equestria, become an alicorn and (presumably) save the day from returning antagonist.  Oh yes, and the protagonist's name matches the writer's username."  (no, mr. writer, changing your username doesn't fix things)

>>13233721323372

"Teenage protaganist's every day life is hell."

Story of my life

>>13234371323437

Story of the author's life.

Hm. Well, this is a bit... Meh.

I just had to read the description.

Well, this is definitely something I've NEVER read before. Nope, can't remember the other two dozen times I've seen this. Bye.

lol depressing nerd.

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/2187822469248781769216847.gif?1320350270

Enough said

find out he is a pony... screams

but that big of a reaction i did not expect

>>13234781323478

Then in am similiar to him

interesting

My only gripe is that this seems to be going down the road of your character is the only good human and all other humans are evil/bastards please don't go down that road I really don't want to have to thumbs down you

Both a train wreck and a brilliant ride. Fix the numerous spelling errors, brush up on your grammatical abilities, and this story could be the next Griffin the Griffin.

The only reason I'm not rating this is because it utilizes the same pitfalls that I know turn people off from my one of my own HiE stories.

This story is so close to being another bad story.

You need to keep in mind that he was about to shot himself and had cried 20 minutes ago,PLEASE dont forget that!

Dont make him just be fine when he goes to equestria, At the end of the day he is sill a very traumatized child with social problems.

Just givin an opinion, It CAN be a great story...But can easily fall into the trap like so many others...Dont be one of them,

How in the world did this get featured?

I mean, don't get me wrong, it is far from being genuinely bad, but it is fairly average. The grammar could use a big upgrade, the story-telling itself is rather plain, both the dialogue and the progress don't flow naturally and seem extremely forced and hurried. I don't know, it could be you have great plans for the future chapters and were in the hurry to get the "boring" part over with, but it could use a lot of improvement.

Also, something funny you've been doing... take this sentence for example:

"Oh my are you all right"?

Why are you putting the question mark, or any other marks for that matter, AFTER the quotation marks? I have never seen anyone doing that in my life.

Keep on trying! I'm going to keep an eye on this one. For now, I won't rate it.

This is everything my 2 fics make fun of.

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/036/290/grammarnaziinvalidargument.jpg

The fact that this got featured jibbers my flibbers.

Well. This has been used god knows how many times; I'm intrested to see if someone can actually pull it off.

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My grammar nazi head is smoking. Seriously, not only has this been done over a dozen times (probably, I'm not looking for stories like these), but also you use the same name for the main character as you use for your username, leading me to find this a self-insert. Alicorn self-insert. I'm surprised this got featured. I'll read on to see if this story can get better. Another thing, SLOW DOWN. The story itself feels rushed (because it is).

>>13239561323956 I can only hope that you are a creature made of hate and sin, so the Orbital Friendship Cannon will flay you where you stand.

The story is good, I like the idea, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. The grammar Nazi part of my personality is acting up, needs some polish and a proofreader. Other than that... HAVE AT EM'!

"When we were done, we got back into the car and drove towards my car."

you might wanna double check before you post so these things don't happen. Otherwise, great story

Dude I am with you 100%. I would freak the fuck out,then i would shit bricks!

What I like - Non-brony/someone from a universe without MLP gets transported to Equestria and is related to the princesses, may have always been.

What I don't like: EVERYTHING ELSE.

Namely:

1) Aww, boo hoo, someone's leading a moderately bad teenage life, welp, time to end it all.

2) Alicorn OC. ...again. Why? Because fuck originality, that's why!

3) Bad pacing.

4) The flow was choppy at best.

5) (and this is by far that most grievous offense) Horrible fucking grammar! Holy hell that was atrocious.

Image: http://static4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/+_bc1dd7ccce25d0c4ac4b9957b264cb18.jpg

An alicorn oc self-insert fic got featured? What is this I don't even... Unless it's exceptional (which the thumb ratio doesn't indicate), this sort of story should never be featured. What happened here?

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png

No.

No.

No.

>>13238781323878

Far from being genuinely bad?

I could go on all day talking about why this is terrible, but I really don't want to waste that much of my time so I'll try and keep it short.

-Zero originality points! Teenager's life sucks, he goes to Equestria and becomes a pony. Becoming an Alicorn really doesn't help.

-Pacing. Too fast! Slow down and take in the view, and describe some thoughts and feelings.

-Punctuation. Did you even go to school? There are dozens of places where commas and other marks are needed, but completely forgotten. You add in periods, exclamations and question marks after you close the dialogue for fuck's sake!

-Descriptions? Lacking to completely omitted. You could really benefit from reading this blog post. It's not entertaining to read I did this, then I did this. This happened because of this, unless there is a point to it.

-Dialogue (if you can even call it that!) is terrible. You write like you characters can express themselves only through speech, having no emotions or expressions. Robots? Nay, just terrible writing. Add in some tones, facial expressions, body language, etc.

-Characterization. There isn't any. Everyone is just a cardboard cut out of what they're meant to be.

My final advice? Get rid of this and start again. Get it pre-read by someone who knows what they're doing and take their advice. I am actually at a loss as to how something can be this abysmal, not to mention being able to reach the feature box.

...Unless it's a troll fic. If that's the case then I have only one thing to say to you:

Seriously?

Thumb. Fucking. Down.

-Sparklight

This is very promising, but IMHO, I feel this could use a slight re-write, just to make everything flow more smoothly.

Premise is WAY overused, but hey, I'm interested.

Ponies are NEVER worth visiting....

You'll just get annoyed by pinkie, and on top of that, a rainbow-colored attention-whore () will "try" to make you jealous...

Pony-ville is worst town...

The grammar is pretty off, but other then that, this is a pretty good story. Keep 'em coming!

>>13240381324038 overreaction much?

It's not THAT bad, sure it's not an original idea, but..

you know what I got nothing.

still, I think you're overreacting.

It's a good fic, just fix your grammar. Like when Celestia said, "Luna do you hear that noise". It should be, "Luna, do you hear that noise?"

The fact this got featured really jimmies my rustles.

>>13233721323372 The way it is written kinda sucks as well

Very good so far, keep going!!!

I'm flabbergasted as to why this would get featured. From the writings so far I have perceived a typical alicorn self-insert pity story. Not exactly the greatest, although it did indeed pique my interest.

Carry on, good sir!  

P.s. Please consider checking the story with a dictionary/spelling check/thesaurus, the mistakes are simply awful!

>>13240381324038

Excuse me, sir, but you seem to have lost this, I am hereby returning it to you:

No.

This should never have been featured.

>>13234371323437

cause living in a first world country sucks sooooo much.

So.... I was going to read this. My intrest was in the palm of your meaty man hands. Then..... the reviews.I think i'll still try it to give you the benifit of the doubt. It takes courage to post something that everyone could hate. So good try!

>>13240381324038

I sorta agree with you.

>>13243421324342

Courage or stupidity?

>>13243571324357 Why not both?

This has great potential as it's popularity has shown, but you need to fix about.... two hundred grammatical errors and flow breaks, and some spots where logic seems to take a vacation.

This could be an amazing story with just a little more effort. :)

This is easily one of the worst upvote-to-downvote ratios I've seen from the featured box in a long time. And looking at what's been said above, I buy it completely. The ratio, I mean, not it being featured.

eeeeh, I'll give it a shot.

>>13233451323345

At least I turned my depressed, angsty teen into something original - a plate.

"Life in Rarity's Kitchen".

>>13243821324382 I always thought the ratio of ups had to be high in relative to down like 50 ups to 3 downs for it to get featured.

Anywho, actual comment...

A fic like this getting featured? Alicorn and a whinny teen in Equestria? This intrigues me... a lot.

Oh great a crappy fic gets featured when a bunch more deserving ones don't.

Yay.

Why is FiMFic so cruel to the kind and kind to the cruel?

I look forward to reading this

Thumbs up, faved and tracked.

So I just finished reading the first chapter.  This story is... well it's pretty bad off.

Your grammar needs a lot of work.  There are countless places where you should've used a comma, or you split up a word that didn't need to be split up ("friend ship" vs 'friendship').  I can't stress how important it is to have good grammar in your story if you want others to enjoy it without getting distracted by the errors.

The pacing is way too fast.  You go from school to home to Equestria in less that three thousand words.  With that many major events I would expect, at the very least, eight to ten thousand.

Work on your show vs. tell.  It turns people off from a story when all you say is 'I did this, then this, then this. The end.'  Put some descriptions in there, man; and I don't mean taking paragraphs to needlessly describe an object or character, either.

Lastly, the premise is lacking.  We've all heard the story of 'teen has a shitty life then magically gets sent to Equestria', and it's fics like this (unfortunately) that give the Human tag a bad reputation.  Hell, there are so many over used cliches in this story, there's nothing that makes it stand out from the others.  To add insult to injury, you decided to make the protagonist an alicorn.

This story is currently a 1/5, and in my opinion, it needs way too much work if you want to salvage it.

This getting featured... well, I'm happy for you. It's nice to feel recognition.

But, and this is a big but. This getting featured has a negative impact for you. It implies that you did well; in contrast to other fics, I don't think you have.

Please, go over this and edit it; do yourself a favour.

I stopped reading after the blacking out part.

How long have you been writing and how long have you been a complete social outcast at school? They are the only types that write these horrible FUCKING emo stories. Ok, I started this comment without the intent to hate on you, but your story just completely pissed me off.

So I'm just gonna walk away now, and listen to some music.

Also, if you had any balls you'd reply to some of these unflattering comments.

Yep, I gotta stop talking.

Dude, you SERIOUSLY need an editor.

Let me know when you find one, and THEN I'll read your story.

If I was to give any criticism it would be this:

1. SLOW DOWN.

The pacing of this chapter seems a little too rushed, I'd like to see more interaction in the human world.

2. Grammar.

Please fix your grammar. Put commas where they should be, full stops in the right places, question marks, etc.

3. Speech

Please make it obvious as to who is speaking and when, there's nothing I hate more than writers who dosen't make it clear as to who's talking.

Other than that, it's really good!

I'll read this later when there are more chapters

This is brilliant, keep it up.

I havent read it yet, but why does this have so many dislikes?

Gosh.

I am usually pretty serene about how FIMfiction popularity works, except I'm always prepared to snark about it.

I'm a lil' lost for words now, though.

You see, I've written two 120,000 word pony novels (well received, though watch out, they're cloppy because I like using that as a wedge for characterization). I've had some very good reactions- haters too, but that's okay- and neither ever got close to being featured, it's all purely word of mouth. Sometimes I help/encourage ponies with their stories and that brings a few folks in.

I recently started a third novel, and I knew I was bringing it to FIMfiction, which is the best ponyfic site ever (yes, including EqD). I decided to put in a little extra effort. Not only did I write three chapters to launch with (rather than just one, for that one shot you get), I worked on a picture of Applejack cuddling with adorable, very pregnant Rainbow Dash, because that's part of the story, and I got it pretty damn show-accurate, too. I timed the submission so it would hit during a reasonably trafficked time. I've got a pretty big and devoted fanbase, some of whom are other writers, some of whom are EqD prereaders, some of whom are writing fanfics based on MY fanfics.

I did all this (and I'm still cranking away on the new book) and it got me about halfway to the top of 'Popular Stories' for more than a day. And I'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong. Brought some new readers in, and they're happy, and I'm happy to have them.

Two completed novels, three chapters at once honed to a fine sheen, a custom original show-accurate cover picture showing a joyous very pregnant Rainbow Dash, and an established reader-base, and I did not get into the feature box for even five seconds, far as I know. My time is done- you only get the one shot at a first impression, and that's part of life.

This is in the feature box, and it's about a tragic HiE going to Equestria to become a goddamn alicorn, and it has fifty-three downthumbs and is apparently a grammatical trainwreck. And this is in the feature box.

Is this really how this stuff is gonna work?

MOAR! I DEMAND IT!

Looks promesing, a fave and a watch

It was Pizza day at school my favorite day of the week because it was also friday.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png

MGHRRRRR

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png

Ok, where do I start?

I consider my writing to be very cliché, but this is like... fucking blatantly cliché! The character is so off the spectrum, I can't relate to him at all. I should be able to considering we're both introverts who enjoy video gaming, but I feel absolutely no connection to this guy because he is incredibly artificial.

I haven't even finished reading the chapter, but from what I'm seeing in the comments, I really shouldn't bother. I mean, an ALICORN, seriously?! Celestia's tits, dude! What bath salts are you using?

That brings me to the events themselves. The only one that didn't feel completely engineered was the scene with the cop. The kid's suicide attempt was so obviously intruded upon that I am incredibly aware of your presence as an author. I feel like I'm watching a poorly directed puppet show.

I'm not even going to go into grammar because >>13240381324038 hit all the major points. You seriously need to learn the English language before you do this. Hell, bring this (in non-pony version if necessary) to your fucking English teacher, and maybe he or she will explain to you why I'm ranting and what you can do to stop me. I'm sorry to say this, but I feel like you've never read a decent book in your life. Go fucking read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, Brave New World, The Once and Future King, and any other classics. You know what you'll find? Reading those will be hard as shit because your vernacular is fucking puny.

And holy shit, the writing style!... There isn't one! You suffer so much from the "telling instead of showing" disease that I can smell it on you. You know how to fix that? Fucking get rid of any of these that aren't in dialogue: am, are, is was, were, being, been, become, became. You know what you'll find? It'll be hard as shit because you don't know enough English to get rid of them.

People who are good with grammar and structure can be very good editors.

People who are good with creativity, originality, and philosophy can be very good writers (with the help of an editor).

You suck at both! I'm not saying you lack the ability to write, but you need to fucking work at it before you go publishing shit like this all willy-nilly.

And to whoever the fuck upvoted this... shame on you. Half the reason writing sucks on this site is the poor readers.

I've got shit to do, so I'm out. Fucking. Fix. Your. Shit.

>>13246341324634

Welcome to the daily life of every talented ponyfic author who isn't SSnE.

>>13230531323053 Glad to see you like Shy the Mafia btw.

>>13240381324038

List of steps leading up to this comment:

-Saw this story in the feature box. Read the title and thought it sounded bad. Went for it out of curiosity.

-Saw the amount of dislikes. Decided to see the comments.

-Saw your comment. Thought that you might have been a bit harsh.

-Decided to read it myself....

-...Found myself thinking back to your comment and agreeing with everything you've said.

Just keep in mind that this person has feelings like everyone else. Words can hurt a lot.

>>13247051324705

Oh, don't worry about me nopony's better'n me at workin' the grass roots. It's an earth pony thing. I have NO reason to cry. That pony is one of MY readers. (he's prob'ly too busy writing chapters the size of my books to keep up, mind you)

I am beginning to just a tiny bit, though.

Something's really broken. I just begged another featured story to please, spell YOUR TITLE correctly if you're gonna be featured.

Something's really, really broken, and I'm not sure quite what can be done about it.

>>13246801324680 >>13246341324634>>13240381324038>>13245071324507>>13242501324250>>13240281324028

It has come to my attention that you all do not know how the feature box works.  It is not run on magical fairies of choosing.  You derive you know based on the stereotypical assumption of up and down votes.

Does it help.

Yes.

Does it help a lot?

No.

As long as the story has just one more up vote than down, it can be featured.

Other than that its all about the views. You who actually read this story are to blame for this stereotypical garbage being featured. Alas i am too, i read it as well. most i jumped around a few paragraphs

>>13230531323053

Weak...

>>13247421324742 So it seems we have a flaw in the system, no? I mean, the fact that this fic does have more upvotes than downvotes shows a serious problem in and of itself, but maybe we should be compensating for that somehow.

I mean, sure, it's fine that the occasional mediocre story gets on here, but when this manages to land in spot #4, something desperately needs to change!

I've seen worse.

>>13238781323878

Because the feature box is not a measure of quality, merely popularity, which is in turn measured by a view/rating ratio.

A 1100 word story consisting simply of the word "BANANAS" could get featured if every viewer, within its first, say, 5 hours of debut, gave it a like.

And that's how it's been since forever.

And because it's poor form to leave a comment on a story that doesn't have at least some relevance to the story (I'm looking at you, EqD comment system gone to the dogs), dear author:

I am not going to read your fic. Do you know why? Because it's a self-hating brony-in-Equestria wish fulfillment story? Yes, but do you know <i>why</i>?

It's because this plot is extremely unoriginal. It's because I have zero reason to care about this plot. I can pretty much predict every single event in the sequence of your plot, and if I can't, well, I strongly doubt that your sequence would be any more interesting than what I can recite from my unfortunate run-ins with this kind of story.

This isn't a story meant for readers. It's a story meant for the author. And I cannot have any part of such a thing, by virtue of its very nature.

Perhaps, if you want to publish something that gets good recognition, write something that someone aside from you can appreciate.

>>13247201324720

The thing that's broken isn't really something that can be fixed.  Like >>13247421324742 just said, the feature box runs on an algorithm that combines likes, dislikes, views, and (if my memory serves me right) favorites into a heat rating used to rank newly published stories.  The problem is that initial view counts upon the first publication of a story are based on a variety of factors, many of which are outside the author's direct control.  People tend to read shipping, sad, and crossover stories more than dark or adventure, longer opening chapters usually mean fewer people have the initiative to open them, and above all, most people have much lower standards for fan fiction than you or I.  It's immensely frustrating to see people showering praise upon stories like this when we put so much unrecognized time and effort into our own work, but it's the law of the land.

My current WiP was only featured because it's a BioShock crossover that was featured on Equestria Daily, and because I was lucky enough to have a friend design a unique banner for the FIMFic banner.  Chromosome, one of my good friends who's a fucking fantastic author, probably wouldn't have half the followers and favorites he has (all of which he sorely deserves) if his first big story hadn't been another EqD feature during a time when EqD was the main source of pony fan fiction, and if his second big story hadn't been an HiE that was originally published on SS&E's account.  You could spend all day analyzing how stories get popular.  After doing it for this long, I much prefer just writing as well as I know I can, and hoping for the best.

Okay... the story... is a mix between cliche and somewhat original idea that needs work.  There are many mechanics that need to be addressed.    Giving Celestia and Luna a brother... that is a human... being abused... think of what happened when Cadance was added.... That's basically what you did.   You cannot pull a stunt like that without doing it well and unfortunately it isn't done well enough.  Grammar wise it's barely within the lines of acceptability.  Character development is done, but far from enough to make the readers like you.  If you're going to make him an abused boy, freaking describe at least in part what the abuse does to him (describe the pain and humiliation, don't skim over it), cut the random event with the teacher, it would've made him more tragic and if he turns to suicide, how did he turn to suicide?  We want to sympathize with the character, so draw every ounce of sympathy you can get.  And the reaction to being a pony?  Lame.  AHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHA seriously... is that what a normal person would do?  He's not illiterate right?  More likely there would be questions, streams of random wht the hell is happenign to me thought. Then you also have to somehow explain why would Celestia and Luna send their brother to the human world and let him be abused?????  I'm sorry that a lot of what you got from this story was rage and I know that isn't pleasant.  Still, before you post the next chapter or the first chapter of any of your future projects, read some more books and think about what do I want, how can be achieved and will everybody like it?

And people... it's not this guy's fault that fimfiction.net's freaking featured system is rigged so that weird stuff happens so I suggest taking the ragecomments not related to the story and put them somewhere else.

No. Why? How?

These were the questions that first popped into my mind after reading the description. It told a story that we've seen many times before, a teen who has an unusually terrible life gets randomly teleported to Equestria where everything's just fine and dandy. And apparently I'm supposed to sympathize with him because...what? He's attempting suicide? CLICHE TO THE MAX! Not looking up for you there. But, I decided to give it a look and see what the fuss is about.

Oh good, he's an alicorn too and the random brother of the two most powerful beings in Equestria. Good going bro. Strike two. Then there's the grammatical issues...with gives you three strikes.

Congrats on the feature, bud. But I mean that extremely loosely. You're going to need to spend a lot of time and editing to make this even close to what the usual standards are. I'm just imagining how I would feel if I wrote a very good story only to see this one making it to the feature box while mine only has 5 thumbs-up. It's...not fun, I'll tell you that.

But I digress. Popularity is popularity, even if it's the bad kind.

>>13247421324742

I am perplexed why you would actually include me in your audacious remarks...

I merely remarked upon the fact that the mechanism behind features is undoubtedly faulted.

But alas, as we all have seen on the side facebook app, this might be considered an extreme

offense to the administrators of the site, so I will "shut myself up".

As for the story itself, I do believe in authors growth and also that constructive criticism is

better than just plain old negative ranting. History has seen many authors shunned just

to have them ascended to genius posthumously.

>>13247981324798

That is all true, but it is also thanks to that, that many previously undiscovered talents are discovered.

I happened to stumble upon an awful atrocity of a story, but when I checked other stories that

the author had posted, I found a brilliant story that was levels above the "crap" that ended up being featured.

I won't say anything about plot until next 1-2 chapters, I've seen enough stories starting with overused plots, which turned to pretty good fics, free of standard HiE corruption of boringness and repeating this same intro/story again and again with minimal twists. But why thay have to be allways depressed teenagers? it seems that fate hates/loves sad pepole.

That last part seems pretty blunt to me. Dialogue at medium level, overextended, without additions, almost pure phrases, that's something I don't like, it needs more expressions, and descriptions. I've even lost track who says what, so i had to re read it one more time.

Honestly it's like standard hie allicorn fic, I have no idea how it landed in feature box. Acceptable level, but it's still a mystery, especially because landing there wasted rating pretty hard, ppl are usually giving downvotes here much less often than upvotes, unless fic is terribly bad, and that one is not. I guess you've get them for landing on fb with something standard like this;)

...I took a shoer to get myself clean...

shoer.

shoer.

shoer.

Fucking shoer!

20. Fucking. Facehoofs.

Well this is as generic as generic can be.

Boy with a horrible life wants to kill himself.✓

Boy becomes a alicorn.✓

Boy is somehow related to Tia and Luna.✓

Yet despite how generic it is I found it entertaining. This story follows the same setup for about 60-65% of all other HiE's, but something made this one a little different. I don't know what, but it was enough for me to see what happens next and what happens in chapter 2 will decide if this story really deserves to be featured or not.

>>13247091324709

You're welcome!

>>13238071323807

So..

In other words it's a rollercoaster plummeting into the ocean.

I don't know whats your problems guys. Serously not everybody can be a all pro fanfiction writer wiht 100% perfect grammar. I for one liked the story so far sure it's rushed sure it's have some unoriginaly things in it (human turned into alicorn/abused children/etc <---but still like this consets) maybe in the next chapters (hope fully the guys keep writing becouse I like the story so far) the caracters and the dialoge will be bether. But so far dude keep up the story I am realy intrensted howe will all of this work out.

>>13248701324870 I have to agree with you on two things, one is that his story is the worst of its kind. And two is that your Elements of Love certainly does deserve more favorites and thumbs up.

>>13250161325016

Our problem is that this story is horrible, its about some whiny teen who should kill himself.

Multiple times.

With a spoon.

>>13250161325016

The problem is that there are much better/original fics on fimfiction, and this one mysteriously get into FB, which attracted ppl who are sitting on this site for long and have read many fics like this one. For now it's unoriginal, especially that part with depressed guy (like 60% of HiE starts form sucide attempts, or at least from hero bored with life/depressed/mocked in school). Repeating old plotlines with human kidnapped by one of princesses and then becoming some hero/alicorn/pony with uber powers doesn't helps at all. If he would write it with more original approach, it would get much less downvotes, and don't blame grammar, more than half of stories here have problems with it, and lot of readers aren't native speakers, so they don't care unless it's written in broken english, maybe only few grammar nazis cares.

Oddly enough, I saw this feature coming.

Kill me now.