• Member Since 27th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Isseus


Cutie Mark Crusaders Forever!!!

Sequels1

Comments ( 378 )

You know what? Writing even semi-realistic clop is HARD. Writing it about two foals doing all the wrong things is even HARDER. And when the story ends up about 3 miles, two characters and Psychology 101 away from where you intended it to, you know there's something wrong with your head.

Some people who have read Apple Family Way might find this a weird story, but I assure you that they both have a place in my little universe. And there might be things in this story that I left out from AFW because Applebloom was too cute, We'll never know. Well, I'll know but you won't. Unless I tell you. Which I won't do. Probably. Unless you bribe me. With Cookies.

Anyways. The first one to shout Scootabuse gets a cookie. The next 100 get my undying ire for being unoriginal.

P.S. SCOOTABUSE! Mmm... Cookies.

I am intrigued. Saw a couple errors though:

There would be no lessons, no arduos arithmetics, appalling alphabetics, or staring aghast at algebra for two whole months.

It's actually spelled arduous. (Love the alliteration by the way)

The only sounds that filtered into the Clubhouse were the cries of the few crickets that had yet to suffer a heatstroke, and the lonely croons of a jackdaw, trying desperately to find a date

This sentence doesn't have a period or anything at the end.

"Well atleast he notices me... "

Rainbow Dash is a girl, and I think you need a space between "at" and "least".

... I'm intrigued... follow. :trixieshiftright:

1312751 Thanks for the catches. <3

I think you wrote it as realistically as the idea of little fillies doing BDSM goes.
However, I somehow regret searching for the term switch. I guessed correctly what it is, but I soon found myself on some board where a mother stated that she was weekly spanking her ten year old daugther with either a belt or a switch. I was utterly disgusted by her, not by this story, thus proving to me that I'm still capable of distinguishing between fiction and reality.

1314454 Yeah... that's kinda sickening. Maybe next time just ask? Might save you a lot revulsion. Internet is a scary place, because it has people in it.

:twilightoops:

Normally, I keep my rather varied S&M fetishes FAR away from my ponies...but I read over your story randomly browsing my lists of things to read, and this was surprisingly well done! i shall look forward to more, if I must be honest.

1315064 We all have our fetishes and kinks, now don't we? :scootangel:

This is, not my type, but I have honestly never seen anything like it. I am liking this story for it's creativity, I'm sure many people will enjoy it! :pinkiehappy:

1317122 Well at least you're keeping an open mind, which I really appreciate. I'm raising my glass of energy drink to you right now. Cheers! :twilightsmile:

1308218 SCOOTAbUSE
SCOOTABUSE
SCOOLOLOABVUSE
SCOOTABUSECOOKIESFUCKYEA!
CUPCAKESSOSWEETANDTASY
CUPCAKESDUNB2HASTY
IWUNTOCUMINSIDERAINBOWDASH!

Seriously though, where mai cooky?

1318761 Nope. You're in the "ire" territory now. So no cookie for you. And also have some loathing.

:twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:

Someone already was "original" and called Scootabuse. IT WAS ME! MWAHAHAHA

I like it. I guess Scootaloo isn't an innocent filly after all :scootangel:

1319183 Innocent? Of course she is. But she might also be troubled. And a foal. There's a different perspective to things when you're a kid. I'm really trying hard to actually try to portray them as little fillies, not as miniature adults. That's why it's a real challenge to write more stuff, and see where this goes. I have no idea. <3

1319212 Either way, you're doing a good job. I still can see the fact that they still are fillies as opposed to full grown mares. There's no rush, let the creativity flow, friend. :derpytongue2::pinkiehappy::moustache:

With all the attention Sweetie Bell has shown Scootaloo's backside, she'll definitely be the first to notice when Scoots' cutie mark appears.

Also,

WHERE'S MAH MUFFINS?!:derpyderp2:

AND MAH TWILIGHT?!!:twilightangry2:

1319212
You did a good job, portaying them as little innocent fillies. :scootangel::unsuresweetie:
I hope you go on writing this story. It is very creative.
I also have some ideas for it, maybe.
Since they don't know anything about adult stuff, they could play around and have their "It's not pee. Period" talk some more and maybe someday ask an adult about it, only getting akward stares, blushes and avoiding comments out of them. :applejackconfused::fluttershbad::pinkiegasp::rainbowderp::raritydespair::twilightoops:
Maybe letting them explore what it is really about, enjoying it and then being shocked about an adults answer to what it is, but still doing it because it feels good.
My thinking.:trollestia:

Bronydragon:moustache:

1319694 The follow-up is coming. So don't worry your pretty little head.

1319720
Ok. Thanks for the pretty little head. It's just placed wrong. I have a big head with big ideas floating through.:twilightsmile:
I have some stories myself. No clops or self inserts (bad at this), but good ones if I might say so.:twilightblush:
If you are interested in reading them, 1. Flutter-dark fic, 2. A comedy fic sequel and 3. A HiE story requiring the password "fireball".
Go for it if you want.
Ps: Advertising! Advertising all of my stories! :pinkiehappy:

Bronydragon:moustache:

Sadist Sweetie and Submissive Scootaloo? Makes a surprising amount of sense. :scootangel:

I love bdsm and child sex. Lucky me?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
I will definitely be reading more of this.

1319694 I wanna know why this one always ends his opinions, explanations, etc. with Bronydragon :moustache:

When his name shows right next to the comment, stupid really.

1322553
It's a trademark, since I'm not able to give you a trademark grin or something else.
And for the moustache. Moustache rules!

Bronydragon:moustache:

1323963 YO DAWG! I heard you like trademark grins so why not put a trademark grin in your avatar so you can trademark grin when you post!

-BDSM. Check!
-Foal on foal. Delicious!
-Psychology. Mine is fucked up!
-Twilight Sparkle. Best pony!
-Muffins. Of course!

Also:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2qo7dW23R1rrnep7o1_250.gif
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loyr3l81hV1qjngzx.png

Heyooo. I accidentally another chapter. And almost the third chapter too. Will post it later when I proof it and clean it up.

This second chapter is very light-hearted, but foreshadows a lot of what's going to happen in the next chapter. Oh and be warned, chapter three will once again be some of my more trademark evil stuff, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Oh and Hells Bells! If you are gonna thumb up or favorite, leave a comment. Heck, even if you thumb down, leave one. Especially the people who keep favoriting this. Did you know that every time you do that, I get a message with your name on it! If you don't start commenting, I'll post a massive list of all the weird foalcons who secretly like this stuff!

yay, is there gonna be some bondage stuff coming up in the next chapter(s)????

keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

1331623 erm... did you read chapter two?

I like this story. The psychology behind punishment is a very interesting thing that you don't see explored very often. The great thing is everyone can relate to it, I remember going to the corner when I was little. The corner sucked.

It's an interesting twist, because usually it's the top who is more mature, and knowledgeable about where this is heading - seeing as Scoots knew why she was wet, and Sweetie didn't, unless Sweetie has done a lot of "research" without Rarity finding out, maybe after she woke up from that dream? :rainbowwild:

Also - I've gotten into the habit of favoriting stories before I read them in order to make myself read them sooner rather than later - given that my read later queue is now over 1350 stories. :twilightblush:

1332034 Ouch. That's a looooong list to go.

And yeah, Scootaloo is usually the dominant one in the series, and Sweetie sometimes feels like a wall-flower. But as some people who are more into BDSM know, the more dominant you might seem, the more submissive you want to be . And chap three might answer more questions, which you don't even know you wanted to ask yet.

I love how this chapter started out. VERY much what I would expect from the CMC. Damn... I miss being able to play like that. lol Cant be kids forever... we all have to grow up sometime.

Now, get Chapter 3 posted... NAO! Talk about teasing us, building up like that, then just ending the chapter.

Pretty good so far. :) Nothing like what I've read before. Will be looking out for the next chapter! :D

1333208 What would you say if I told you that I already wrote chapter three yesterday? And It's all finished? And all I have to do is push one button and it's posted?

And I won't do it. You know why? That's the whole point. :p

1335973Your EVIL!!! EVIL I TELL YA! lol

1336043 It's spelled "you're", you numbnut. Just shut up and read the next chapter. :twilightsheepish:

Chapter three. I wrote this in one go with chapter two. I almost published it as one chapter, but there were things that felt off for me, and I had to revise. My main concern was Sweetie Belle started sounding TOO mature, and I had to make her seem younger. I know that even really young kids can have really deep and profound thoughts, but I keep having to remind myself to try and see the world through younger, more idealistic eyes.

Also this chapter might feel quite brutal for some readers. I've tried to explain things as best as I can, and would want to remind you that neither of these characters are nowhere perfect. They can be cute, idealistic and kind fillies, or they can have really dark feelings, ranging from fear, anger and hatred to disappointment and grief in a span of a few seconds. That's youth for you.

And if you don't d'aww a few times, you are a really evil, pathological person. Even I had a hard time writing some of the things here, partly because some of this might reflect my own life and feelings at times, and partly because I could feel what Sweetie was telling Scoots about thinking about others, and how we find it so easy to just casually forget that bad things happen to other people, and just pretend everything is fine and dandy and that it's not our concern. Something to think for us (mostly) adults, right?

1308218
I would ask the question, do YOU think your sane? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't :rainbowlaugh:

1336714 The first sign of insanity it usually the inability to notice that one is, in fact, insane. And yes, I use an antidepressant medication, but I have been doing so for years, so I do not believe it constitutes a lack of sanity, merely a psychochemical imbalance in serotonine metabolism, or in rarer cases, in noradrenaline. Whatever the case may be, selective serotonine reuptake inhibitors (or SSRIs) have kept me going pretty well, so I'm not complaining. My shrink also told me that I also suffer from a mild OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and from a likewise mild ICD (impulse control disorder), which are not considered psychological ailments as such (at least, according to ICD, or International Classification of Disease) and are considered personality traits. I personally believe they are the hallmarks of a great artist, of course. :twilightsmile:

And I haven't cut off any of my appendages yet, so I think that's a feather in my cap? :twilightsheepish:

And it's YOU'RE! DANGIT! Don't say "do you think your sane? I don't have a sane. I wouldn't know what to do with one. Instead, ask: "do you think YOU ARE sane?" which would actually constitute a logical question about the psychological well-being of the listener. :twilightoops:

I missed it again?! I always have problems with your and you're.
1336846

I do wonder though, why do people write so much of this kind of stuff when it is bad when it involve humans? I mean ethics takes a back seat outside of reality for some reason. :rainbowwild:

1336960 Is it? I've read loads of similar stuff online for the last 15 years. There are several very specialized writer communities around the web, some focusing on some rather disturbing stuff. Let's just say two kids tying each other up and giving each other spankings is considered vanilla there. :twilightsheepish: So I don't think it's really a taboo or anything. And it's not even illegal if all you do is write about it. It's kinda like if Agatha Christie was sent to prison for being a serial-killer, because she wrote murder novels. Imagination vs. real life.

And remember, what you have inside your head is never nasty, sick or evil. You're welcome to fantasize about absolutely totally anything. Only if you act upon those fantasies and try to make them into reality does it cross the line. So if you get off to a vision of yourself copulating with the corpse of your mother while dressed as a girl scout and drinking Chianti, good for you.

1336846
I noticed something, but forgot where it was, and I'm too lazy to reread half the chapter looking for it. However, like in your comment, you forgot closing quotation marks in a few places, including one that closed a quote inside a quote, which should really use 'single quotes' instead of "quotes".

As for the chapter, all I can think of is that Sweetie needs to learn of less visible ways to "punish" Scoots, and things will get very interesting once either Sweetie discovers sex/masturbation and/or Apple Bloom returns during one of their "sessions". Also, they sure dodged a bullet starting now rather than during school, where Cherilee and others would've definitely noticed the rope burns, if nothing else.

1337345 You're going into the plot of my next chapter. Now shush. :twilightsmile:

1337321
Well...
that was interesting statement, I do get what your pointing out though.
Part of me doesn't want to think this is vanilla somewhere else because then all my notions of this world be even slightly ok anymore have been thrown out the window entirely. I have some pretty weird fantasies myself and some of them manage to terrify me :raritydespair:, I have to wonder what our brain's have against even making the slightest amount of sense. :rainbowhuh:

1337373 Sorry but... Why should it scare you? You're 100% free to think whatever you like. No-one can see into your mind and read your thoughts.And whatever your weirdest fantasies might be, at least a few THOUSAND people will have the exact same things in mind. Maybe not if it's about a specific person, but similar stuff. And they get anonymously together on the web and share their thoughts, which in turn give new ideas and thoughts to the rest of their community.

And it's completely OK! There are no such things as "thought crime" in the world. And if you can't be comfortable with the stuff you have in your head, then who can? You are what you are, silly. Every thought, every desire, it's just you. Does it make you a sick pervert? Hell no.

Only human.

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