In the middle of Winter, Ponyville finds itself subject to a nasty blizzard, courtesy of the weather team breaking schedule. Ponyville's Post Office is closed for the night, courtesy of one Ditzy Doo and her daughter Dinky, but before long the unicorn Twilight Sparkle finds herself trying to have a package delivered to her parents in Canterlot.
Fearing for the unicorn's safety, the scatterbrained pegasus agrees to see her to Canterlot personally, but only if they bring along another friend of hers.
Chapters (1)
I enjoyed that, though I was kind of disappointed, you started to tell the Carrot Top/Derpy meeting story then didn't.
I'd suggest ending with the final delivery of the package as a wrapup.
The ending made me smile. This was an enjoyable read, but here’s a few things that could make it better.
>But there was no time to watch it, even for a fleeting moment.
‘fleeting’ is just a bit too much prose.
Here’s a helpful guide for the future: http://derpy.me/PurpleProse
> she instead focused on the task at hand.
Awkward phrasing. It should be ‘she focused on the task at hand, instead.’
> The blonde pegasus's eyes refocused on the earth pony staring at her from beyond the open doorway.
LUS http://derpy.me/EznGuideLUS
>She blinked twice in confusion.
Tell. I’ll refrain from linking you to the same guide a third time. Your readers want the play, not the script. Any time you’re about to tell the reader what somepony is feeling, stop, and show them instead.
> don't let any strangers in, and don't go peeking into anyone's letters, okay?"
anypony’s* Not sure if you’re using pony vernacular, though.
> You'd think more ponies would be interested in seeing where all those trails lead. But the last time I visited, it seemed like everypony there was completely uninterested in seeing what lay beyond its furthest walls.
Using the same descriptor twice in a small proximity is generally a mistake. It disrupts the sentence flow and makes for very awkward phrasing, that aside from giving the appearance that your vocabulary is so small you had to use the same word twice.
There were several others, but they were all recurring problems, and you requested only mild criticism, so I just posted one of each.
I like that Ditzy calls her, ‘Muffin’