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primalcorn1 1232592

Joined November 2011
534 followers

    primalcorn1's Stories (12)

    • Would it Matter?
      Twilight does some thinking

      4,932 words · 10,185 views · 370 likes · 8 dislikes
    • If You Hear Me, Let Me Know
      As Steel grows older, he begins to question the circumstances of his adoption
      57,631 words · 4,504 views · 367 likes · 8 dislikes
    • A Little Piece of Heaven
      Follow the story of Rainbow Dash and Spitfire (Prequel to Family Mares)
      19,283 words · 4,333 views · 310 likes · 7 dislikes
    • The Older I Get
      Will I get over it?
      1,835 words · 2,024 views · 187 likes · 3 dislikes
    • The Fears of Yesterday
      43,149 words · 5,666 views · 436 likes · 12 dislikes
    • Family Mares
      34,875 words · 10,980 views · 647 likes · 30 dislikes
    • Tick Tock
      2,899 words · 982 views · 80 likes · 1 dislikes
    • I Am Stretched On Your Grave
      1,153 words · 1,335 views · 147 likes · 8 dislikes
    • Nightmare
      11,608 words · 480 views · 44 likes · 1 dislikes
    • The Artifact
      19,559 words · 531 views · 49 likes · 2 dislikes
    x

    Scootaloo didn't know how to react at first. However, it didn't take long for her to figure out. She relaxed, closed her shocked eyes, and returned Lightning's kiss. After what seemed like an eternity they pulled away. Scootaloo was on the verge of tears.

    "Wow, am I really that out of practice?" Lightning joked. Scootaloo lowered her head. "What's wrong Scoot?"

    "I'm...sorry. For manipulating you like I did. If you don't want this, then we don't have to-"

    "Scootaloo, I do want this. I've wanted this as long as I've known you. At first I was scared to ask because I thought you'd reject me, then I was scared to ask because I knew you wouldn't. I'm sick of being too afraid to do what I want. To pursue the mare I want." He lifted her chin with his hoof. "I'm sick of being so close to you but still not being close enough." Scootaloo smiled, though only briefly.

    "Lightning, I'm scared. For you, and for us. Somepony came back to town today who would love to see us torn apart just to spite me." Lightning gave her a confused look. The only ponies he could think of who would do that were Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara.

    "Umm, who is that?"

    "Jade." For some reason she couldn't explain, she felt weak against her father now.

    "What?! What's he doing here?" Lightning was stunned. He knew that if he was back in Ponyville Scootaloo's life was not going to be easy.

    "I don't know, but there's more. He has a son. I have a little brother and I just learned about him today." Scootaloo began to cry. Lightning wrapped a wing around her and pulled her into him. "What if Jade is hurting him like me? I have to get him out of there, I have to-" Lightning cut her off with a hoof to the mouth. He wrapped his wing tighter around her and let her cry on his shoulder. When her sobs ceased she looked up at Lightning and kissed him. "Th-thank you. I...n-needed that."

    "I'm here for you whenever you need somepony. I promise, I'm not going anywhere." Scootaloo buried her face into Lightning's shoulder.

    "Thank you." She whispered. The new couple just sat like that for close to an hour. Eventually they knew they had to go their separate ways for the night. The goodbye kiss ended up becoming far more than a peck on the lips, and both of the young lovers enjoyed every moment of it. When the kiss finally broke (for the fourth or fifth time, they weren't keeping track) they parted ways. Both of them were feeling mixed emotions of excitement for what was to come between them, and fear for the adversary they knew would make every moment possible a living hell for them.

    When Scootaloo flew through her window, she noticed with pleasure that her friends were still asleep. At least, she thought she did.

    "So, that was some intense kissing you guys were pulling out there. I wish I could get in on that action." Sweetie Belle said without opening her eyes.

    "Yeah, Ah was worried the two a ya were gonna need some protection in a minute or so." Applebloom added.

    "Were you two watching the whole time?" Scootaloo asked.

    "What else are we gonna do? While yer out there suckin' face wit yer coltfriend, we're suck in here with nothin' ta do."

    "And not even a toy. I'd make out with Applebloom, but she's not as willing to experiment as I am." Sweetie Belle had always been more sexually open than Scootaloo or Applebloom. She had a long history with mares as well as colts. Applebloom was far more reserved.

    "Look, all jokin' aside we're happy fer ya Scoot. He's a good colt fer ya."

    "Yeah, and it's about time you two got together. You've been after each other for years." Sweetie Belle and Applebloom hugged Scootaloo.

    "Thanks. I feel bad about the way it happened though. I...kinda made him do it."

    "Scoot, you can't make somepony assault your lips like that. He's gotta want it REAL bad." Sweetie Belle reassured her.

    "Yeah, how could ya make somepony suck yer face like that?" Applebloom asked.

    "I convinced him if we didn't get together soon our friendship would fall apart."

    "Scootaloo, you know you're right about that don't you?"

    "No, I don't. Can't say I'm going to complain about the results though." Scootaloo smirked. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom snickered.

    "Now I do believe it's a little late for the three of you to be up." Spitfire's tired voice scared the hay out of the three schoolmares.

    "Sorry mom. I-"

    "I watched the display with Lightning. We'll talk about that after your friends leave tomorrow." Scootaloo gulped.

    "Umm..."

    "Wait, you were awake?" Sweetie Belle asked.

    "Yeah. Mom sense." Scootaloo was not looking forward to having that particular conversation with her mom tomorrow. "Get your flanks in bed."

    "Yes mom!" The three mares said in unison and returned to their places with a speed that could only be matched by Rainbow Dash after three miles to increase her velocity. Spitfire turned and walked back to her bedroom.

    Rainbow was awake when Spitfire returned.

    "Get them back to bed?"

    "Yup."

    "Even after seven years we can't keep those fillies under control."

    "And now there's a colt involved. This is gonna be interesting."

    "There's been a colt involved for the last four years Spitfire. It's about time they kissed each other already."

    "You know Rainbow, when I got involved with colts at her age, I never understood why my parents hated it so much. Now that I'm a mom-"

    "You don't get how they allowed it at all." Rainbow didn't show it as much as Spitfire, but she hated seeing her daughter with colts just as much."

    "How we gonna scare the hay out of him?" Spitfire asked as she crawled back into bed.

    "Hmm...How about the Axe?" Rainbow's eyes lit up.

    "Nah, neither of us look brutish enough to make an axe look threatening." Rainbow sighed sadly.

    "Weather manipulation?"

    "He's a pegasus pony Rainbow. He can command weather just like you and me." Rainbow let out another sad sigh.

    "We could always just make him really uncomfortable. Like..."

    "Giving them a similar display to the one they gave us?" Spitfire kissed her wife.

    "Sounds like we have a plan." Spitfire said.

    "Wanna practice it? I won't be asleep anytime soon." Rainbow winked. Spitfire rolled so she was on top of her wife.

    "I guess we could perfect some moves." Rainbow and Spitfire smiled.

    In Scootaloo's room, three young mares sighed as the telltale giggles and moans of "Gold digging" permeated through the cloud ceiling.

    "Scootaloo, your parents have the most powerful sex drive I have ever encountered. It's two in the morning."

    "Ah see where Scoot gets it from." Applebloom and Sweetie Belle giggled. Scootaloo blushed madly.

    "Lets just try to get some sleep." Scootaloo didn't want to have that conversation. Not that Scootaloo was going to get any sleep. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom probably would manage, but Scootaloo had far too much on her mind.

    "So Scoot, what are you going to do about your little brother?" Sweetie Belle asked. Scootaloo shrugged.

    "I don't know. But I'm not going to let him stay in Jade's care any longer. Nopony deserves that."

    "How are ya gonna git him out? Spitfire said she wasn't gonna let ya anywhere near Jade."

    "Just 'cause she told me not to do something doesn't mean I'm gonna listen to her."

    "Scootaloo, you've never disobeyed your parents before. And this is Jade we're talking about. The stallion who nearly drove you to suicide. Do you really want to get involved with this?" Sweetie Belle was incredibly concerned for her friend. She was beginning to act out of character.

    "I'm not giving up. I'm going to get my little brother out of there. He's going to be a part of my life." Scootaloo was determined. Nothing was going to stop her from removing Steel from Jade.

    "In that case, yer not doin' it alone." Applebloom said. "I'm helpin' ya."

    "Me too Scoot. You're not getting anywhere near Jade on your own." Sweetie Belle added. Scootaloo looked at her friends. She couldn't have asked better friends.

    "Then we'll do it as...THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!" Scootaloo couldn't keep a straight face at the memory of their foalhood 'secret society'. The three mares burst into laughter. With the tension of the day removed, the three young mares finally realized just how tired they really were. It wasn't long before they were all asleep.

    The next morning, Rainbow and Spitfire flew Sweetie Belle and Applebloom back down to the ground. Knowing they could walk themselves home (and having no desire to carry a pair of fully grown young mares any farther than necessary) they flew back up to have a conversation with their daughter concerning the events of the night before.

    "So, mind telling us why in the hay you and Lightning were sucking face on a cloud at around 2 in the morning?" Rainbow asked her daughter.

    "Umm..." Scootaloo blushed and noticed that her wings began to spread. She snapped them closed.

    "I thought you told us he DIDN'T change his mind about getting involved with you." Spitfire said flatly.

    "He didn't...not then. He came to the window. He asked me to follow him. I did. And then...he's never been so direct." Scootaloo became lost in thought. She didn't notice her wings as the slowly spread to their full length.

    "Scoot. Wings." The last thing Rainbow wanted to see was wingboners on her daughter. Especially when they were from memory, not fantasy.

    "Look Scoot, I know you're getting involved with colts. You're starting at the same age we both did. And we were just as active as you were with Lightning last night. Just-"

    "Be sure not to get any MORE active." Rainbow finished Spitfire's sentenced. "Okay?"

    "Deal." Scootaloo said.

    "One more thing." Rainbow added. "About Jade." Scootaloo swallowed.

    "You are not to get involved with him or your brother in any way." Spitfire and Rainbow were very practiced at alternating speaking roles in conversation. "We know you want to get to know your brother and that you definitely want to get him away from Jade, but we won't let you put yourself in harm's way over this. We have a local guard outfit already on their way to investigate. They'll figure out the details of their family relationship." Scootaloo nodded, but never quite lifted her head. Guilt consumed her for her inevitable disobedience, but there was no way she was going to be kept from her brother.

    "Can I go see Lightning? I know you probably would prefer if I didn't, but we-"

    "Go ahead, we won't stop you. Just, less face sucking today, alright?" Rainbow said.

    "Deal." Replied Scootaloo as she walked towards the door.

    When Scootaloo landed at Lightning's house, she was alone. She didn't notice the deep blue body on the roof of the cloud home as it began it's dive toward her. It wasn't long before Lightning completed his decent and tackled his marefriend. Scootaloo was taken off guard by the assault, but opted not to attack back when she saw who it was. She laughed and kissed her coltfriend.

    "Hey Lightning. Were you expecting me?"

    "Nah, I was actually just about to fly to your place."

    "Yeah, about that. My parents watched us last night." Lightning froze.

    "How much?"

    "The whole display." Lightning's wings, though only seconds ago spread wide from the ecstasy of being so close to his lover snapped tight against his body in fear of her parents.

    "I'm bucked aren't I?"

    "No, they're just gonna scare the hay out of you like they did to every other colt I've introduced them to." Lightning eased up very slightly. At least he could almost feel sure they wouldn't kill him.

    "I say we head to town. Enjoy the day." He wanted to forget about the possibility of future destruction at the hands of Rainbow and Spitfire Dash. Scootaloo could sense that he was scared witless and laughed.

    "Sounds like a plan."

    As the young couple walked through Ponyville they received some strange looks from other schoolponies. Lightning had a wing wrapped around Scootaloo's back, so everypony knew they were together. Nopony beyond Scootaloo and Lightning's friend's ever expected it to happen though. It was then that Sweetie Belle and Applebloom saw them.

    "How's the happy couple?" Sweetie Belle asked with a smile.

    "Yeah, now that they're actually willin' ta admit that they're a couple." Applebloom teased. Lightning and Scootaloo blushed.

    "Well, you know. So far so good." Scootaloo said and nuzzled her lover.

    "I think she'll grow on me." Lightning teased, to which he received a kick in his flank. The four young ponies laughed.

    "Scootaloo? Scootaloo is that you?" Scootaloo froze. She hadn't heard that voice in years, but it was still fresh in her mind. Scootaloo felt rage fill her heart as she turned to face the mare that had given birth to her.

    Comments ( 30 )

    #1 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oh shit.

    #2 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    "Be sure not to get any MORE active." Rainbow finished Spitfire's sentenced. "Okay?":rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

    Nice history! Looking forward for NeXT part!

    #3 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Hokay, since logging in so I could Bypass the spam filterer (it also Filters people who's Cruddy portable browser won't show the Emoticon, FYI) ate my first review, have another.

    I like this fic. Its plot is good enough that I don't mind the OCs (generally Lordly-B-Gone) and it flows well. However, you do have a tendancy to refer to name things too much. For example: Cloud house. You use this term every time you refer to one. However, this is unnessesary. Once you've mentioned that a house is, in fact, a Cloud house during the narrative, you can assume that readers are going to remember that, so you can Drop the cloud part. Then, if you feel calling it a house is getting repetitive you can mix it up with Synonyms (for those in the audiance who don't know what that means,it refers to words with similar meanings.) Home, Abode, Dwelling, All valid words. Repeated phrases tend to break a reader's immersion and just rephrasing a scentance can make the difference between a Four star fic and a Five star. My Two cents delivered, I away to more Fics. Watched as well, because I like this fic enough that I want to remember I was reading it

    #4 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Oh damn!:pinkiegasp:

    Shit just got real. :twilightoops::twilightoops:

    #5 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    RAGE ENGAGED!!!

    btw loving this fic.

    #6 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>88759

    I'll keep that in mind, thanks for the pointer

    And if you're reading this I hope you read Family Mares

    If you didn't you're probably lost. This be a sequel

    Ice
    #7 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    0_0 shit just hit the fan AGAIN (cleaner is getting pissed off)

    #8 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Awesome! Here's to hoping that she's gotten better, unlike a pagasus with the same name as a certain Necromancer in Tales of the Abyss, who would LOVE to ah... EXPERIMENT on a talking winged horse that is dragging his name through the mud! (GO JADE CURTISS,  ALL THE WAY, WOOOOOOO!)

    ~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria

    #9 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    "What if Jade is hurting him like me? I have to get him out of there, I have to-" Jade cut her off with a hoof to the mouth.

    Wrong name?

    #10 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    So, her mother then? I wonder if she's there to apologize, or to get really pissed. Onward to the next Chapter! :ajsmug:

    Seriously though, you have a style if writing that I can't get enough of. Keep it up! :pinkiehappy:

    #11 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Dun dun DUN!!!

    #12 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I loved this chapter! I cant wait for the next one, and all hells going to break loose now that shes encountered that mother of hers.

    #13 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    When will Scootaloo's mom just divorce that dick? Seriously, in this day and age women should know that they don't have to take that crap. Unfortunately too many don't.

    #14 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>89077

    yeah but in family mares it said she was very much dependent on Jade and how she can't take care of herself

    #15 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I am feeling such a variety of emotions simultaneously! D''awww, fear, humor, anticipation, more d'aawww... >>88770, you are a genius! This is even better than the last one! Bravo! :moustache:

    #16 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Ah yes, finally the mother is set into play. In Family Mares she really didn't have much part in the story when she actually had a nice base to make a character on. Now we get to finally see this base built! Lets see how well this goes, considering this is you Primal. I expect top-notch characterization like always!

    #17 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Shit is getting real. I really want to know what scoots mother is like. Last time she didn`t even get a description...

    #18 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>88857

    Yeah, quite possibly

    Thanks for the heads up

    #19 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I have no intent for spoilers here, but expect a major character out of Aerial Crestfall (Scoot's birth mom) I intend to have her be a large part of this story

    Ice
    #20 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>89271 wait she has mom.....oh yheah she was mentioned twice? in the last story

    #21 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>88863

    everything he/she said! LOL

    great work!! you can make a bad day good!

    #22 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    MOAR, MOAR, MOAR! :rainbowkiss:

    #23 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    scanners reported in....they said....."murmers"

    WHAT DID THEY SAY?!?!?!

    "shitstorms a brewin...."

    WHAAAAAT, OH BUCK WE'RE SCREWED

    #24 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Love your stories, this is becoming an excellent sequel to Family Mares. Fanatic balance of humor and drama!

    #25 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>89335

    I'm a he, and thanks!

    #26 · 73w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>89608

    ok, what he said

    #27 · 73w, 19h ago · · ·
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    i like this sweetie belle she's awesome

    #28 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·
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    Woooooooo-hooooooooo~! This is your captain speaking. Our ship, The Scoota-Lightning, has set sail for Awesome Island. THAT IS ALL! :rainbowdetermined2:

    (Oh, how I love puns! :twilight blush:)

    I love Sweetie as this wild, slightly offensive character you've built for her (sorta like ----> :rainbowwild:?). I feel like that's exactly how she would/will be after she gets over trying to be just like Rarity all the time. :raritywink:

    Sex really drives shipping, huh (it's the co-captain :rainbowlaugh:!!! Did you get it?!?!? No?. . . ah, well. . . it was a pun, see?. . . . :fluttershysad:?)? Well, it does for a lot of the good ones, anyway. I don't say that as a good or bad thing (good for me! :trollestia:), I just feel like it's true that the sex life of characters can be a really vital part of story development and characterization.

    OH SHIT! THE CMC IS ABOUT TO STRIKE AGAIN!!!!! :applecry::scootangel::unsuresweetie: (ugh... why do they all look concerned except Scootaloo, who in this case has the most to be worried about?)

    >>89194 I'm glad we're seeing the other end of the Crestfall family (meaning Mommy). In Family Mares I was practically begging to hear more about her and it didn't happen, now that it will I'm going to have a lot to analyze in the next chapter :pinkie happy:! Time to put on my nerd goggles and get to work! (I should get a pair of funny goggles, call them that, and put them on when I geek about things, that would be totally worth it!)

    Really though, Corny, excellent job on capturing the teenage romance (you know, how it's romance, but not romance), the parent's caution (I loved their seriousness, in stark contrast to how they usually treat Scootaloo. It seemed exactly how good parents would react to it all (and boy are Dash and Spitfire good parents!)), and the natural slight awkwardness that happens when your parents get involved in your personal life. Time for chapter 5 and some Mommy exploration! :twilightsmile:

    #29 · 68w, 5d ago · · ·
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    holy shit CMC :applecry::scootangel::unsuresweetie: are back run its the end of the world

    #30 · 68w, 4d ago · · ·
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    You dont plan on maknig the rating of this mature, do you?

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