• Published 18th Sep 2012
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Faith and Doubt - defender2222



After everyone fails to heed to her warnings about Cadence, Twilight gives in to her darker thoughts

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The Truth

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”

-Virginia Woolf


This is what it was like to be in Ponyville:

The sun was warm and the first hints of summer were making themselves known to all the ponies that called the hamlet home. No one wanted to be stuck indoors and those that were forced to stay under their roofs had opened their doors and windows to let mother nature in. Ponies of all shapes and sizes were taking advantage of the beautiful day to take care of little odds and ends they had been neglecting.

And yet, for as wonderful as the day was, there were still things that were off; elements of life that seemed out of the norm and left more than a few citizens scratching their heads and whispering when they thought no pony was listening.

Lyra had sent a letter to Bon Bon telling her of awakening in some cave under Canterlot clutching a bridal bouquet.

Derpy swore she had spotted Celestia and the royal guard milling about Sweet Apple Acres.

Carrot Top had spotted Rarity rushing about town with a ream of paper held tightly in the grip of her magic, knocking on doors and begging for a chance to talk to whichever pony was home.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake had been pushed out of their home by Pinkie Pie, who had locked up the bakery and refused to let any pony inside.

And had any pony looked up in the sky, they would have spotted a great alicorn stallion watching all of them, his face expressionless as he gazed upon all before shooting up into the clouds.

Of course Twilight Sparkle didn’t notice any of this. She merely moved through the town, a smile gracing her features as she looked over the checklist she had made. Spike rode on her back, flashing slight smiles at all the staring ponies that gathered on the streets to watch them.

“Uh, Twilight… “

“I hope we have enough bits for all these new mirrors. Remind me to give Doubt a piece of my mind for breaking all of ours.”

“Twilight, maybe you should have just stayed at the library and let me do all the shopping.”

Twilight glanced over her shoulder at the baby dragon. “Why would I do that, Spike? It’s a nice day and all.”

“Yeah, but we are kinda causing a scene…” Spike gestured to all the ponies that were staring in awe and shock at the dark alicorn. “I don’t think word has spread just yet about the, uh, new you.”

The librarian laughed. “Right…right.” She cleared her throat, stopping her trot so she could address everypony. “It’s just me, Twilight Sparkle. Nothing to see here, move along.”

Everypony on the street just continued to stare at her.

“Well, that worked out well,” Spike said dryly.

“Meh, give them time,” Twilight said. “They’ll either get use to me or…” her horn flashed black and she chuckled at the gasp that ran through the crowd.

“Was that really necessary?” Spike asked.

“Probably not but it was fun!” Twilight said with a giggle.

“You are enjoying being evil way too much.”

“Not evil, Spike. Playful.”

“Evil.”

“Mischievous,” Twilight offered.

“Evil.”

“Do you want me to banish you to the moon?” Twilight asked.

While any other being who heard that would have trembled, Spike merely laughed. “I’d give you 20 minutes before you joined me up there, begging me to let you stay because you were going nuts from boredom.” Spike’s voice went up several octaves as he clasped his hands together. “Oh Spike, I was so lonely! Can I stay in your moon castle?”

“When did you become so cocky?”

“I’ve always been cocky… I got it from you.”

“Hey!” Twilight exclaimed in mock protest. Spike merely flashed her a grin and the dark alicorn rolled her eyes. “Very funny, Spike.”

“I thought so,” Spike said, chest puffed out.

“Alright, all of ya, git!” Twilight's eyes widened in surprise as the crowd dispersed, revealing Applejack. The farm pony continued to shoot glares at those that wanted to stick around and stare at Twilight like she was the second coming of Celestia (which, all things considered, might have been an accurate statement). “I said git!” She stomped her hoof and the last remaining hangers-on quickly dispersed. “I need to talk to my friend.”

“Is that what we are? Is that what we ever were?” Twilight asked. Applejack flinched at the cool tone with which the former unicorn spoke to her. It was so casual, how Twilight dismissed the title, and it left Applejack feeling like her heart had been bucked.

“How can ya say that, Twi? Of course I’m your friend.”

“Really?” Twilight asked. There was none of the anger in her voice that had been there the night before. Just sadness and finality.

“Of course!”

“Then why, Applejack? Just answer me that… why?”

The farmer took a step closer. “I’m not going to apologize.” She could see the anger begin to flicker within Twilight again and she hurried to clarify. “I am not going to say ‘I’m sorry’ because I don’t know the real reason you are upset. I’ve gotten bits and pieces from the others but I want to hear it from you. Until I do I can’t say sorry because if I do it will be a lie because I’m not saying sorry for the right thing!”

Twilight watched as Applejack leaned down, gasping for air. ‘Amazing… she can ramble almost as much as Pinkie Pie.’ Twilight smiled, only to force herself to scowl. ‘No… I can’t do that… if I do that then I am letting them win…’ The argument sounded weak to her ears; most likely because it wasn’t Doubt whispering truths to her but her mind lying to herself.

“Now I know that you are bigger than me now… and a lot stronger… and you could banish me halfway around Equestria… but I don’t care. We are going to talk about what happened and I am not going to take no for an answer.”

“Is that so?”

“That’s right,” Applejack challenged, moving closer to the dark alicorn. “And if you send me blasting off into space I’ll just have to make me a lasso out of stars and pull myself right back here and try again!”

“You want to know why I am really upset?” Twilight snapped.

“Darn tootin’!”

“You want the truth?” Twilight snapped, lowering her head down so she could glare at her former friend.

“Been sayin’ that for the last five minutes!” Applejack challenged, pressing her face against Twilight’s.

“I’m afraid, ok!” Twilight shouted.

Spike and Applejack could only stare as the mighty alicorn fell to the ground and wept, covering her face with her foreleg and sobbing till her body trembled and her sides ached.

“Twi…” Applejack whispered.

“I… I saw how excited you got to meet Cadence… how thrilled you were to be part of the wedding and be a part of the royal court…” Twilight sniffed. “And… and I thought back to how we met. I was sent here to help organize the Sun Celebration all of you were taking part in. You remember, Applejack? You were making the food along with the rest of your family?”

Applejack nodded, reaching over to stroke her friend’s mane, only to find her hoof slipped through the glowing energy trail.

“Our first interaction was because I was sent by Princess Celestia… you first knew me not as Twilight but as Celestia’s student. And then… then… you girls figured out I knew about Nightmare Moon.”

“I remember all that, Twi. I just don’t-“

“It was all a lie,” Twilight whispered. “I thought back then, “Wow, these 5 mares want to be friends with me. Me! Twilight Sparkle! The bookworm, the egghead, the worrywart! They actually want to be my friend!”. I… I was so happy. So many ponies wanted to know me back in Canterlot because I was Celestia’s apprentice or the Captain of the Guard’s little sister. They didn’t care about me, they cared about what I represented. But you girls saw me for me.”

“Of co-“

“But you didn’t… did you? You didn’t want to be my friends because of that.” Twilight trembled as more tears fell to the ground. “You were only my friends at first because of circumstance and then… because you saw what I had to offer.”

“The gala,” Applejack whispered.

“Yeah, the gala.” Twilight’s tone turned utterly bitter. “It’s funny… I keep thinking about it and I realize now that if only one of you had said it… I would have given the ticket to you.”

“Said what?” Applejack whispered. “You said ‘said it’. What is ‘it’?”

“I want to go with YOU.” The words left her mouth like a cannon. “All of you wanted to go to the gala to have fun or make money… but the fact I was going too wasn’t even a thought. Did… did you even think about what you’d do with me when you were dreaming about the gala? Or was it all about you? In your fantasies… was I even there?”

Applejack lowered her head in shame. There was no need to answer the question.

“Of course not. And then two days ago, the way you were all fawning over ‘Cadence’… I realized that none of it was real. You weren’t my friend because you liked me. You were my friend because of what I offered, just like the other mares in I’ve met. The perks, the benefits, the prestige. That is what mattered. Other than Spike… I’ve never had a friend that liked me for me.” The baby dragon weakly rubbed his hand along his friend’s neck as she cried.

“Twi,” Applejack said softly…

…before punching her in the shoulder.

“That is the dumbest thing I ever heard!”

“What?!” Twilight practically screeched, too shocked to be angry at the dismissal of her worries.

“Twilight,” Applejack sighed, rubbing the back of her head. “I am sorry. I am sorry that we ever made you think those horrible things… ever made you feel even an ounce of doubt in us… that we gave Doubt an in. I’m sorry you thought for even a second that we were using you.” She settled down next to Twilight, feeling rather small next to the alicorn’s body. “Did I make mistakes when we first met? Heck yeah! We all did. You wanted to go running off to take on Nightmare Moon by your lonesome, Dash thought you were a spy…” Applejack shook her head, laughing as she remembered that trip to the Everfree, “and I’ll be the first to admit that I could have picked a better time to perform one of them trust exercise things than when you were hanging off a cliff.”

Twilight managed a weak smile.

“And yeah, we all screwed up durin’ the whole gala thing. We were all focused on our dreams that we didn’t think about you and how we were treating you. But we realized we were wrong and we apologized and… and I have worked hard to make it up ta ya.”

The alicorn stared at her friend, her worries and fears warring with her common sense. It had been so easy just hours ago, believing the worst in her friends. Her anger and fear had let her rage against them without an ounce of guilt. But now, staring at the farmer… Twilight felt herself crying for an entirely different reason.

“Twi…I am your friend because of what you offer us… but it ain't titles or prestige or any of that hooey.” The farmer stared at Twilight, praying and hoping she heard her and truly listened. “Most ponies… they look at me and hear the way I talk and they think I’m stupid. They think I’m simple and all I’m good at is buckin’ apples. And when I met you I saw this smart, talented unicorn who knew the Princess and could do amazin’ things. She had been to Canterlot and had more of that fancy learnin’ then I’d ever had and she would talk about things that I couldn’t even begin to understand.

“And… and she wanted to be my friend. This wonderful, funny, smart mare wanted to be my friend and I just couldn’t believe it…” Applejack looked down, dragging her hoof through the dirt, not minding in the slightest that she was lying there in the middle of Main Street. “So yeah Twi, I screwed up. Do you know why I was excited about the wedding?”

“You wanted to have all of Canterlot eating food made by your family, to drum up business. Just like why you wanted to go to the gala.”

“Yeah, that was a part of it. But, and I can’t speak for the others, I was doin’ it because it was your brother and your mentor askin’ us. Some of the most important ponies in your life were askin’ us to help and I wanted to make ya proud. And I got so concerned about making the wedding the best for you that I stopped focusing on why I was doin’ it and I was just… doin’ it. Not for you… not for me… I was just doin’ it. And I’ll regret that forever.” Applejack placed her hoof next to Twilight’s. “And… I just wanted you to know that.”

“Applejack…” Twilight said, tears once more falling down her cheeks. “I-“

“I know…me too.”

The two sat there for quite some time, hooves pressed together, Spike laying on Twilight’s back and the life continuing around them.

~MC~MC~MC~

Luna looked at the grand hall. So many memories… good and wonderful and happy… and sad and painful. So many regrets… and so many great moments.

It was now called simply The Castle of the Royal Sisters. All the ponies had come there, to seek the aid of the princesses, to offer their thanks and ask for blessings. Beyond the main hall had been the Tower of the Sun and the Tower of the Moon, which held many of the artifacts the two had held in the highest regard.

Luna looked at the rubble that had once been the Sun Tower and wondered if Celestia had ever dug through there to retrieve any of the mementos Luna had buried underneath the stone during her rampage.

“The best days of my life… and the worst.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

Luna turned before looking back at the tower, allowing the interloper to come stand next to her, his wings folding up against his side. She felt no anger, no rage… it was like meeting an old neighbor whom you’d forgotten about.

“Hello Luna.”

“Hello Doubt.”