My reaction at first., but it's pretty awesome. Keep it up!

This so-called "black tide" is really The Smooze, isn't it?

I guess if it starts singing, then we'll know.  

Excellent story so far! However, in the future, you might want to try posting the chapters individually over time instead all at once. Also, ! Hopefully there'll be mane-6 interaction. What I see happening is she'll end up bringing up the humans accidentally, and shenanigans ensue. And I'm fairly sure there will be, seeing the characters listed.

>>187419187419

My original thought was that I was going to write the whole thing, then post it all at once... opted not to, because, well... One, this will end up being fairly long, and two, I'm a feedback junkie

Also, and more realistically, I was having tons of trouble making the opening chapters work. I knew where I wanted to take the story, just didn't know how to get there. I really wanted to make sure I'd have the beginning of the story solid, even though I'm not 100% happy with it, rather than getting started, getting people reading it, and then scrapping it because I was getting tired of the headache I got from banging my head against the wall

I finally realized that I was over-explaining things   Once I cut back a bit on that, things flowed more naturally.

@Zobeid I didn't even THINK of the Smooze, but that's actually a pretty funny thought!

really like the story but I would maby make the chapters shorter

Guh, I will read this. Sounds intresting. But not now *yawn*

I really like where this is going, and I really like Erin. She jumped about seventy spots on my 'best pony' list when she threatened to buck anyone who laughed. She's a live one!

I think the chapters length doesn't matter, You are putting in the Perfect amount of detail.

This Story is very well made and I would be surprised if you didn't want feedback, it makes writers appreciate they're work more.

You are doing a great job and i hope to see more of your writings, Good Luck.

Tracked

good tension you are building

Oh you will just have surgery to put sensors on your body, nothing more.

>>187563187563

I disagree. I like long, well written and paced chapters.

Allright, this really looks good. Awaiting more.

Awesome story! Can't wait for more!

A very enjoyable story. Wish it was a bit harder Sci-Fi wise, though of course with magical ponies as an integral part of the story it's not really an issue.

Awaiting for more.

Folks, check out this awesome sketch by Easteu. Not only is it the first fanart I've ever received for my fanfics, but it looks awesome to boot!

Edit: Now in color and looking better than ever!

Image: http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/038/c/c/sunflower_sketch_2_by_easteu-d4oy2ni.png

Well i just read that it won't be posted on equestria daily

im extremely sad, this was a good story and i would love to read it, um is your username the same where your posting it, can you post here where i can find it.  like i said ill be looking for this... i wish you good luck

>>204192204192

I guess that it too close to the conversion bureau stories,

They are not posting anymore of them.

However, I want more, I like your take on that idea.  

I feel this just made the plot extremly good, for those of us who like science it was even better, although my friend said to me he didnt want to read it because it was more about humans than ponies, i tried to tell him it gets realy good in next ones but he wouldnt read anymore, i hoped it was just him.

I really like this story, the concept is really interesting and I see a lot of potential. I'm eager to see where you take this.

I am a bit nervous about the comments the other two volunteers who backed out made. I seriously hope this doesn't end like Avatar.

wow im looking froward to reading more ^^ keep it up

>>193829193829

Ooh, I was just looking through my tracked fics and noticed the new title image. It's awesome!

>>221840221840

I agree! Easteu did a fantastic job, and I think really captured the essence of the story.

Still re-writing the first three chapters, but I decided that I would continue writing new chapters concurrently. I want to keep the story going, especially now that I've finally reached the point (PONIES!!!) that I am most excited about writing.

Also, FYI, writing AJ's dialogue is hard for me. If it comes across as too corny, and you have recommendations, please let me know. In addition, spellcheckers and Applejack don't get along very well.

Yay, an update!

...I've got nothing.

>>

me too.

Great story.

I Love You man, I've been waiting for this story to update. Very good chapter, although some people when they hear voices in they're head put in italised to make it look like a thought. but i don't know im not a good writer, Thanks for the story...i will be waiting...watching...

Goddamm, I always sucked at constructive critisism.

Well, I have no Problems with AJ's accent, but I'm german and can't really tell. Oh boy. I just wonder...

1) Eri is full of tecnologic stuff. Maybe Unicorns can notice...

2) While she isn't connected to the lab (like right now), will all data be saved for later transfer?

Keep going, Hoopy!

I'll say it again, Erin is a great character. Very human, fallible without being exaggeratedly inept to further a plot or create artificial tension. "'Wonderful', he says," probably won her another couple ranks on my best pony list all by itself, and I really respected her for not stealing that apple. I feel like I'm in there with her, too, when I read - there's something I can't quite put my finger on in your writing that totally draws me in.

Of course she'd start meeting members of the Mane 6 immediately. Call it a geas, ta'veren, or simple narrative causality, but I think it's no coincidence that interesting things are naturally drawn to them. Probably a side effect of the Elements.

(Specifically in reply to >>222330222330) AJ sounded good to me too.

>>223733223733

Imagine the shenanigans if Twilight picked up on it and got her hooves on all that tech. I know I'd be scared. And yeah, I'm pretty sure one of them mentioned data storage previously. They certainly would have set it up that way, since they were planning for possibly having to communicate only through larger windows.

I'm a little bit interested in the 20 minute mute button that we heard about earlier, where it is, when she might use it. It has me curious.

A very good chapter. The flow of the story is absolutely irresistible, I dived into it and nothing could distract me. Of course no small part of it's charm is how relatable and believable Erin is.

AJ's accent is perfectly fine, as far as I can tell.

The only problem I see right away is, like with every good story, that it seems too short.

i re-read all of the chapters for the 4th time, i love this story. i check to see if it updates every day. then if it doesn't i re-read it again.

Sir

I love this story

Must Read more, it's killing me

Sorry about that! Next chapter has been delayed due to crazy work stuff, but should have it out by end of day on Sunday

Thanks for a ETA on the next chapter, i really like this story. I will be waiting

"No, yer a freeloader,"

It was nice to get an idea of how her enhanced abilities actually stack up against Equestrian ponies. It's a frightening idea that what they thought would give her a significant advantage turns out only to put her on par with a trained athlete. Still, even that's not half bad - I'm sure she's thankful for what she's got!

Great story so far Hoopy! I eagerly await more chapters.

Like so many people have commented so far, Erin has been a great character so far.  Your representation of the Mane 6 has been exactly how I would have imagined them to react.

The only question I had in my mind was the source on the initial reconnaissance information. I am assuming by the way it was written it was some kind of UAV device, and this amount of description works well with the story as we really don't need anymore information regarding this. It does raise the question of, is there now a large amount of human technology floating around Equestria that Erin may have access to, or may have been discovered by someone?

Great reference to the pinkie sense! I never considered it at all.

Yes very good chapter, i hope i don't have to wait long for the next one.

Please don't keep me waiting forever, This si a very good story and I Want MOAR

This text is delicious, can't get enough of it. Reading every new chapter makes me genuinely happy.

Everypony seems to be perfectly in character, and with Pinkie it's no small feat as far as I know.

Ever sent this to EqD? I don't see any issues, and it sure would push the views. For such a great story those are way too low.

Again, I want to thank everyone for reading, and for feedback! It really makes my day. Also, hearing that the Mane 6 (that I've introduced so far) are in character is VERY important to me. If I ever deviate from that in your eyes, please don't hesitate to let me know!

>>266713266713

EQD rejected my entry, unfortunately.  There were some grammar and punctuation errors in the first three chapters, and they found the pace to be a bit slow (too long to get to the ponies, as I recall). Plus some other issues, mainly with the science behind "ponification", which is a word I completely and unashamedly stole from the Conversion Bureau stories

I'm currently re-working those chapters, which looks like it will reduce it from the intro plus 3 chapters to a slightly longer intro plus two chapters, thus getting to ponies a lot faster (hopefully without losing story elements!). Work on that is going slowly, though, as I want to keep writing new chapters for all the folks that have read it so far.

>>264717264717

My goal is to get at least a chapter of about this size (between 4-5k words) done every week. This is pretty easily do-able, at least when I'm not working crazy overtime

>>264255264255

I have an idea that I have for that, but I'm not 100% sure if I want to work it into the story or not... I guess we'll see!

>>263014263014

Heheh, yeah, I was kind of building her up a bit, to make it seem like she was going to be a Mary Sue, then I yanked the rug out from under the poor girl's hooves

All according to plan

But you're right, being able to keep up with Ponyville's top atheletes is not something she should be ashamed of. She just doesn't know yet that they're basically the best around.

Also, as a side note, the spell-checker in Word HATES the Apple family dialogue!

>>266952266952

How do I respond to people instead of posts?

Anyway, grammar and spelling is easily fixed I guess. About the "too long till pony", maybe some jumps into equestria would work, or an insight at the team wich observes "Ponyworld" once they find it.

Wow, this was a fun read. This is actually one of the most interesting scifi stories I've read here on Fimfiction. I love the sense of desperation among the humans and personally I didn't mind not getting to ponies until later on. Might be cool to try to explain more about how some of the technology works, particularly the portals. This is really good though. I want moar!!!!

>>240300240300

...Seriously? If it comes down to the human race, our species having no choice but to murder another to survive, we should die?

Hell with that. At least if I'm regretting xenocide I'm still alive and able to do so. Humanity can do incredibly evil things and get better- just take a look at our old enemies from WW2 now! Extinction, on the other hand, is kinda harder to recover from.

Besides, why would we drive the ponies extinct? All we'd have to do is launch an overwhelming first strike against Canterlot. Local deities, obliterated in nuclear fire, local magic superweapon, vaporized along with them. All hope of effective resistance effectively destroyed while still leaving a more than viable population of ponies to continue the species. Sure, they'd hate us for the next century or two or maybe even longer, but what could they really do?

Well, new post is up, a bit early (my self-imposed deadline is a chapter by end of day each Sunday). This one is a relatively long one, second longest so far, but I'm fairly happy with it. Some new OC's, though hopefully not so many that it gets annoying.

>>270627270627

Just click on reply at the post you want to reply to, then type. If there's another reply you want to make, then click on that post, and it will automatically add the post wherever your cursor is.

Thanks again, everyone, and as always, feedback is welcome!

yay

"Magic?"

"Magical magic"

"Magicaly magical?"

"Black magic"

"oh..."

Great chapter, can't wait for more. i will wait though.

i wonder why twilight was looking at her funny, possible defect in her pony body that noone noticed.

the book she was reading, reading her mind...

And Celestia/Luna observe Project: Sunflower with Twi, wich is why she was shocked.

Try hiding tec from immortal, magical alicorns...

It's so fascinating to see Equestria from this perspective. I've probably already said that. She's going to be floored yet again when she starts to find out exactly how much of that book was literal, I think.

IT'S BEEN A WEEK!!!! I WANT MOAR ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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xiGtXWlXSKeIkltZOxCt2474nacrCJAUSlXwqSpJ/qEp+E4VPC/1HI1EE1psI/MNSIl0ngVNOrQoEapIr7xAkGcazxX66B1YPK7VaRlUnyn8o6xh3NZuc8/n+LEc56p9HklaztmByypTf7R0HBEgKTuJ37/ALxnPVcnTzKJWIxOn9NufqX+zcKU62rISn3QAqUxSsb1nNPMe8cn05j22Hn0rUJh1YkCJ0Udhruh/Mt0wzyuM6LK+fHaYYtUs8oz2P6XHJsSG8wHxePcWarnwn9I1+XNt0/DL7o23f4iwFXSKGi1fwkfyiLqTdINBKq8oabu/OFnv94Qqu78YAkSbpEs7pvv8UiFCuPrEwN133+YpNeVEZF3xiQXnxuzDZX4QaC7ozFTOqfDK9kFVJkJ3fGM3q2ImONWRIqMoAvPYi90V3H6fiKgUd8PSLrARhvOHC861v8AMMhyRcuMOA8Xnd84VIu78Jw0Xxu+PhsvZDBzirre78RXBusSqv3uxDJQAw3nuiRF5wwm67r/ADDkxP6EzZu78IuM3nAAdIsMDIvIpxy3+v1gxgMWlxKVIUFJORFQay5Z0+8PQEENTsxZ7Lw87vmIjZN3yhmN00wwU9s6hvWnLWNSBQmV+c4egzulMIlt1xKctYqluK+8Rynsgeld1i9j9MsPPK7N1DhIBoZ5Z+UU1olHLlNV2Yd4pUu3WJUKn77YH4jFpbE1qSndPaeG+LDPaS/1GJkd2GxBBH/JD1aLZKXE6IaxCgVjvJ3TGuBsJAvlEuG0Bhmkq7NklSgPjOslIPxSB8JH5RVRpAFRCVd8ZoIIWnmhUlDy8ousYlR2ecY3cunVPnObrT9GcOlpopFABs312QQYzUfrd74CYTEFKDM38ou4fHpba13lhCE5qJkBWXzlzlGmPbPl9GsL8Q+8cD6yW5aTxQlMdsrzICo7LofpLhnndRp9tapTkDUyFZTzjl3Wpg5aSeGRcCHEqzBBQkEc9ZJjXDrJz8mriwKxz9eESk8PeEUSkyM5ihBiwhtKtikEnORKfHaL3xu5nQdAvBTCCK93cfnfrBRB9OcZrQelGm2koU4kFP8ANL2gw1pxgmjqPEy95Rl2BAXd+8vX6X+Kx5PD0nd84S/S/wAQz0lQYmF577/MQNmt8LsRLKGR6bz43ZhJXXdf4hBdzj2yGCyuu6EKeHvC36R7VgDwTdd8OTd37wkrpv536x6+cAQJOVIkSbpETaqDlwu+cPTK5fKESRN5R4G6bjf3hUm/PhDQb84oPE3S73wiryhSb8IYTdOMIGG/KW+/WEc+E8j7R6c7F3uhHT3TyO7dx+f0hB1boCoDReBmZTw7Q/8AwmQjBadwX6fSOJbyS6U4lHJ2aXB/1ULMv8Y4wVxuLW10Zw7jfxts4RaP5kuMkDzEV+tXHf6FhdKMJ1wlMiJym1iEpKSSP7riW6cTlWLCmcYltJUtQQkZqJAA840PVqUODEY7/wBNwhppRpNpmesd4BdU4OOqncI+cdI6eexiwHCVEmSUJkEzNBJO/KprHf8ApWpOjdGYDApI1nHWGjkJhC0OPqkSc1CRzHflugB/W4P4uB5vf5Exh04Zb7rbDICnXSQkE90SE1LVLJKRUy4AVMabr90gWRgXE1IdcpvBSkERZ6mcOl5WIxgqBq4dB2juh13zK2wf5YyuO8muOXzjRMYTAaDaStwF7EuUCtUKedIHe1ATJpsT2EJFJkk1FjrifJ7uCbCdysQdaX9LRE/OMR0j0qcVi3sQomq1NtidEstKUlAGwTkpZltVA/t5VziMuXV1FY8fW667gtOYLTA/T4pjs3tUqQlZBJlmph5EjMbQNVQzKZRjtLaCXgcT2DiisKBWy6QP4iBLWCgKdogkTlmCk0qBmFY8yBQvVcQQttW1LiapPnQjaCRtjqPTrEJxehmscBJTYaxKZHIK1Uupnt7i1iW8DdFbmcLvjyZ1tc0ypu87MFuj2D7fHMN5oww/UubtbvN4dNP8XaL/AOGIxuGxuycbroviDg9E4jSCkzcxALqAf7sg1hUcldw0/wDcMTxzd205qM9KHU4zBuOYU67uCfUpIE59rhyUuty/xILiOOuDURyDpZi0YteMSgJc7bUew6jOc20pDgSQJAlHeMyBntjfdXJ/R4kYcmacU3rTnniWhNw83EHW/wCGfDF6a0N+h0yhgICm1vEtJImlTWKBGpq/uSFhSJTFAN8bal1WN3jvGuZtPzKQoVpqqpvyO8cdkfUnWL06GisMh8tF7XdDeqF6kppUqc9VX92UpbY+WcakDEkJEgHCAJzAAWQJHbzjv39oZIOj8OCdWeJFdx7J2UNmCf8A9LJ/+Cr/AK4/7UGNEdemFxBCMVhlNIUQNYqQ6gT2rEkkAbwkx87LRI5gy3GLuh8A9iHAywhTi3O6EpE+EzuFakyA2wG7r1mdGW9HoTi8KgJZUoIdZTRCdaeq42MkVABSKGYNDnjMP0mZVmSj+YS9RHR+t/EjD6DDCzNbnYNDiptSHFHlJpXmI4KlQlnE5Q46VhnkqqkhXIg+xidKrpHL2nCg6ySUnYRQjxEFsJ0sfbzIc/mAnvlMSuvCDQs/xvAYUG6br/MCNBaeTiQZDUUjNMwTWciDu9oK61+kBH3su98evZd7pw2cKVXYgIoN033+I8m8rvlCa1z4z3QoVc+fCGFVj4U12C/SJUnK/lEOGPcT/KPbyvlEvn63e+EEybzhs4VIhDFAhVd8ojWbsXLzeoRR0lpFDKCpxWqAOMzPKQNTX2rsgCxP39Z8rz4QI010oZYmnW11yI1UV8zkJboymm+mTjusls9mjn3lDiRlnkIzBVC0H0b0lP8A4RR/uuH/AMzUVuq99Ok9APYFZBW2FsjeAoFbKvBUwP5IsdJf/KCP91w/+ZqMD/Z/6QdhpIsEyRiWynh2iO+g+WuP6ooBnU70cViNLtBQkMOS8sbi0e749oUesanrU6Sdtp3DsJPdwy2m+BW4tC18qBsf0mOj6E6Lt6NxGlMcuQQ6rtQcyltKC67lUTcUun+FMfOOA0mrEaTbecqt3FIcUeKnATKXPZugDr/9pI/wMH/tHP8AKmCX9nZwHRz4nUYtRI2yLTEvY+UDf7SaZsYP/aOf5UxluoPpenDYxeGdISjFSCScg6meqP6gojnqwBVwmHIbCSKpKknPNKlIJHCaTWGLSdl8o6R000CnDOurcbKsG+ouFaQpRwz65dprSmUNrI1tcUCioGQKYyOI0AfiZcQ6giYkpIUB/wA2qrmCOUcvJx3e46sOSXqs4+mRnlKOsLbLfRMBWZwQy/8AskU/5hGF6NdGHNIvBpCSGkmT7tdVKZ95CTOSnFCgllOdJV3fWvplIQzo9qUyUuOJT+xpogtpy/csJkNyFbM64pcZbU8mrZjHP8BopT7jWHB72IWGpic0oM1OqH8raVnyjrPT7Q+IdbwzWFY7RttwLWkOIRRtMmk981GuQr+gb4zvVRokrxL2IUCBhx2CJg/6xzVW6a7k9kP6lQL6VdZjqe1daxbqAp1SGGm04cpLaJNhZLjS1HWWlas8iBQxfHjrHtPJd59C+K0VpHs2+zwEnm323UrViGZJS2ZqSJGc1pKkHgoxY66OjiXWcPipVwzqQ5WX8FxSUqmRWitQznQa0czR1qaV24tf/Sw3/ajqXVn0lOlMFiMPjFdo4kltwkJSVtOpOqZJSEz+NNB+0HbGsmkZfV/qvn/pOwlOkHQ2lSUB4yCpTHeqDLjOXCUfUHTjpHhMFh0OY1Gu2pwISOzDnfKVGclUyBrHz5pvoutL2IU+6S4wrUII7ylNhICjuSpOqocFDOOw9dSEHDYUOJ10fqqp3/wXvnCt9ToNa61NCH4cKTywrdOMbfQnSJjF4Zbmj1NKIHwmaNVexLqQnWTPfI8JxxJoNpo0Eo3DVlXhLOCXRnpAcNj2XTJIJDL2QHZOkAKUTISSvVVrbtbjETPd00uGp0w3WB0gx2Ixqhj+44ySgNgSQ3kTqCZmFUOtMlQlUiUA2nJisd362+hTT2KZfWNUPILBWKSdQCtonfrJDia/3URxfpB0aXhFSVVJ+FVZE7juMt/GKpSbm0CXd93eyH611u98UUK5xZSqn5hbKzS9ofHdi6lYMhOR4g0MuMdIbcBAIqDlyjk61Dj6/KN/0Vx3asJBzRQ0O3LLgYaRwKhQqGC87vdKF8/WER8+PvStmPT4w29sLKAKmEPcTyFeQETC/LnfrEWBbOoKe2yJtTh7brH2g0D0wjigBMkADMmUhFHTGlk4ZrtHN8kgVJPy+0c5050jexJkTqtzogZcCd5rDkDTad6doRNGHAWrLXPwjkJ96tZ5Rh8Xi1uq1lqKjvJsCIFKMJrxQJqwkLOEgDrOl+tfCu6CTo9KHw8GGm9YpR2es2UFVQ5rS7pl3d2Ucy0PpNWHfafR8TTiXE80kHypKKcegDtPWH14YfGYBzDYZt9K3dVKi4lAAQCFKAKVqJJkE5ZExyPQ2LDWIZcVOTbiFmVTJKgoymRWQ3iKUORnAHYesHpW1p5ttGEQ6j9PruK7UNp1ppBATJxUzJJOzzpHIiZDPLI04eN840XV5jltY1tKQFB3uEGWXxTE8iJQL07gS084mXd1zq12Ty8JwB07oT1/uMISzj21PpSJB1Eu0kP74UQF0/dMGlZmsaRfTvo2ohamGtY1M8JWedZIkTHz6U34y94UbLvKGH0Diuu3DqP6bAJSzJOql15Oo2gUA7NtPxHKQUUD2KYJvUQohRWtZ13HFHvOrP7lEeFBQASAlSOBJSZz3U+cdo6IY9TrCCTM6oJMzOZ3zHrPxhGJs9N1YLRS2xhsQnEFCyp4hjU7d4qKlzDxUUhSqHVySmmyOQhsUmZyAA2mlBHSOnOF18IqRALakr4EAyIkBxn4Rh9HIKZr4lOyks9meyktsTldTbTDRWdFykpRmZ1AGzaCTtPCNT0V6Tp0fi0PBtRa7NTTiG5FRSZKSe+oAkLG8UUrkQKm1EylnypFdTgGZMsqCu/Mxz/+l3tpZudj/T/TrWOxBeYaeb12glwOpbGsps9xSdRxU5pJSZy+FOcGusLrDa0gyy20y+gtvdoS6loJI7NxEhqOqM5rGzfWOflUz9ftD2wTf3hzktnifmROHZ0yIrI5E7CON8YKsIDzZSrIgpmBUToSJZVrAb9KTn4ZQa0KwohQIr4eHsYWrtVsazTXTxOK0cMM7h8R+qShEnAGC2MQ1JQWCXQoJKhUynqqIrCpYbxjRQ6lIMt2YFZVEqbD6xnlsKrTORGRqc8+UFtG4pSCDq8NmzPKNd2pkkcu6T9G14RyU5oJkk/I7jnSBbDkdt6U6EGIQpJTRYmJy7qthEcYxmBW0tSFJqkyNRs2w4jKPKrBbonjy06AfhV3VfI+EBkqul7IsYUnkd/mRBstOpi+N3uhQfvA7QGKLjCSRUd1R4iX2ME+yO722U+cNJLy+8KIRKeHtfD7QpTwn5QE/9k=

...If you wouldn't mind that is

Heh, sorry. Life has been kicking me around a little all week. This next chapter is making good progress, but won't be out for another day or two

I should be able to get back on track this next week, though, and hopefully even a little bit ahead. That's my plan, at least

This is a great read thus far. The scenario is well established, the story is progressing nicely, and the original characters are quite engaging. I look forward to more.

Couple of days late (sorry!) but here's the new chapter. I'm already started on the next one, so hopefully I'll be able to get back to my "new chapter every Sunday" release schedule.

yay!

This is one of the most creative human in equestria fics i've ever read.

Just spent a good chunk of time reading this from the introduction to the current chapter, and I consider it time well spent. This story is interesting and entertaining and I do hope to see more asap.

And Hoopy, I find your characterization excellent and while the science of the sci-fi aspect is not terribly 'hard' you've mostly left such things vague enough that it doesn't really matter. All in all keep up the good work.

Well, Dang

Curse you Cliffhanger, even if its a low lvl cliffhanger, not like life or death

ugg look at me ramble,

anyways great chapter, time to cry my way throught the week, orrr!!! i could do something productive for once...naa

This is one of those stories that makes me want to jump for joy when it updates.  

It's funny that Sunflower seems so hopeless at (almost) everything she tried.  So much for building the perfect pony.

I'm hoping we'll soon find out what Twilight noticed about Sunflower before.  Hmm...   What would puzzle her so much despite no other pony even noticing?

Oh boy. No getting around this one. I look forward to seeing what little detail was missed in the ponycrafting process.

>>322569322569

my personal guess?  Earth ponies are generally believed to have some level of magic(hence their ridiculous level of skill for dealing with plants so that seeds become sprouts in seconds) and she lacks that.  I imagine twilight sensed the lack of magic, and it confused the heck out of her.

On Sunday would be nice. My final exams are next week, I need to get that off my mind sometimes.

About this part... I can imagine the lab guys watching her jobs...

New chapter. It's great to be back on schedule!

>>324139324139

Now I know why Joss Whedon would always deliberately change things up when people guessed stuff ahead of times

Great chapter, but i can't help but wonder what happened to the bits she was given back on earth. the ones she had made for her.

yay

> Simultaneously, the pen lifted itself off of the clipboard and scribbled a quick signature.

> Twilight’s horn glowed again as she picked up and started fiddling with an old-fashioned quill pen.

This makes me wonder why Twilight doesn't have a fountain pen.  Surely she'd be the first on her block to get one.  I estimate pony tech at roughly the 1880s level, which would indicate metal-nibbed dip pens for most folk.  Early fountain pens (including stylographic pens) existed then, but they were often unreliable (and leaky!) and didn't become widely popular until the early 1900s.  On the other hoof, battery powered flashlights arrived to our world in 1899, but ponies apparently have them as we saw in Read it and Weep.

>He’s been with me since he hatched, such a sweet little guy,

I recall seeing where Lauren Faust had posted some speculation about this.  Her idea was that Princess Celestia raised Spike through his first few years as a hatchling, during the same time when Twilight was studying under her.  So, that would explain the more sibling-like relationship they seem to have developed.

The interaction between Sunflower and Twilight was very good in this chapter.  I like how Twilight explained her sense that Sunflower had no magic, yet is still missing a lot of clues and heading in the wrong direction.  I look forward to more!

And yes, I'm worried about where this is all leading, with regard to the impending invasion of Equestria by humans.  It's a dark cloud hanging over this otherwise cheery and fun story.  I know there are a number of possible ways that it can end well, but I can't help thinking about the more obvious ways that it can end badly.

>>338136338136

who is that responding to?  I'd guess it might be responding to me, considering I posted (as a guess!) almost exactly what the issue was with Twilight a while back...

EDIT- a quick check reveals that was in fact what you were responding to.  Heh.  I guess I'm just that cool?

Very good chapter, I love how Twilight is researching a "cure" for Sunflower, to try and fix her lack of magic.

The next time the researchers have a radio window, it's going to be excruciatingly awkward, that much I can tell for certain. And if the "re-magic" spell actually works, well...

>>338230338230 As I recall, she's saving those as a last resort, in case some accident of manufacturing makes their counterfeit nature obvious.

>>339228339228

Yup. She's got those stuffed away in a drawer in her room, but is afraid to use them.

you should have a part where she compares them now...My idea

Unpredictable complication concerning Sunflower and magic, exasperated by a unicorn librarian's curiosity and need to fix. I enjoy. Keep it up.

Great chapter and great story... Can't wait to see more, seems very interesting.

Oh man if Sunflower would have instead said "Uhhh...Herald! Yeah thats it! Herald...uhhhhh...FLOWER!" I would have burst out laughing.I love this story!Good job and keep it up!

Time for another update! A bit later than I wanted, I apologize. I do most of my writing and cleanup on the weekends, and an emergency at work yesterday took a 12 hour chunk out of the day So, if it's a bit rough, I blame work

Anyway, enjoy!

And, as always, comments/feedback are very welcome!

Uh oh. Something magical, probably insane, and sucking the life out of a wide radius of the Everfree. And now it has something totally unaffected by magic. This can't end well...

Well, at least Erin's having fun.

Dude, the ending is really interesting!

Something funny occurred to me...  The one who's actually come closest to guessing Sunflower's "secret" thus far is Spike.

Yes, Spike.  She is, in fact, a spy.  

Good stuff as always, can't wait for moar!

This is a really good story! (I guess I don't really have much to say besides that, so WOOHOO!~ )

Ok, this has been an interesting read. Erin is a really well written character and overall the story flows well. I know I have to be patient but I can't wait until Erin's secret comes out (oh like she'll make it the whole month without it coming out).

An all-engulfing black mass that spreads death wherever it goes? Well damn, where has Erin seen that before? (And it has voices... oh dear. Let's hope this one doesn't start singing.)

I swear, humans can't spend a week on another world without either trying to take it over or awakening an ancient evil. (Or both. I'm not ruling out both yet.)

lol... great chapter, and faithfully awaiting more.

>>374295374295

Hey, if Disney taught us anything, it's that villains are awesome singers.

New update! A new OC! A few background ponies, which I have wrangled into my story!

And I just barely made it before midnight. My time, at least!

I hope you enjoy. As always, feedback is very welcome

Also, I changed the date of the Iron Pony competition on the last chapter. I suddenly realized that it made more sense to have it later in October, what with the Running of the Leaves, and all. I'm used to the leaves turning super early, living in Minnesota and all...

Edit: TOTALLY was going to do an April Fool's update, with the shadowy thing in the cave breaking into song, but opted not to

"how would Rainbow Jack," hahah rainbow jack, that's just adorable.

Besides Rainbow Jack another great chapter, keep up the great work!

yay,,,what is the cave creature?

"Rainbow Jack"?!

I don't suppose you'd all consider that to be a really lame, hidden April Fool's joke, huh? No? Dang...

Great story thus far, Glad I decided to read it!

"a mint-green unicorn with a two-toned green mane", seems she's met Lyra. Are you planning on going with the usual human obsessed fan version? Because that could lead to some rather interesting conversations and questions.

Great story so far, looking forward to more!

  And here we go! My largest chapter yet. I was so sure that it would end up smaller after editing it, but I just kept adding details. Hopefully, it hasn't gotten too unwieldy

  In any case, I feel slightly better about the delay, as this is about twice the size of my normal chapters. Still, I don't want to miss next Sunday, so I'll be starting the next chapter right away tomorrow evening!

  Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoy this chapter

  Oh, and for anyone who may think I'm pushing Marigold's supposed cuteness too far, check out this image I made using GeneralZoi's pony creator:

Image: http://i.imgur.com/ptO1m.png

  Go on. Tell me she's not adorable. I dare you

  (yes, I make images like this for all my background OC's, it helps me to keep their appearance straight)

>>441777441777

D'awwwwwwwwwww.

It's always tough waiting for your updates. Your characterization is excellent and the story concept is a great for an HiE fic which are usually mired in unending cliches. Erin is a wonderful protagonist who is really easy to connect with and is neither male nor a brony which puts her in rare company in this genre.

Really the entire thing has been an amazing read from beginning to end (current) and there is so much stuff coming up that the waiting is a killer. There's really not even a lot for me to critique about the story yet. Makes me happy to know that there are at least a couple HiE fics that are high quality.

Edit: Just please for the love of Celestia don't go conversion bureau on us

Getting an update to this story is always a delight.  It's among just a handful of my top favorites.

I'm curious what was actually different about Erin's hooves.

Fantastic chapter. Not sure if I ever commented on this before, but I have been following this story for a while now and check it daily for updates. I seem to have failed to add it to my tracked stories or my favorites, something I am going to fix in just a moment.

I never once thought that you were pushing Marigold's supposed cuteness too far, but I can't say I don't appreciate the image. She's adorable.

Just a thought about the whole eating meat problem: With the level of nanotechnology humanity in this story has access to, it should be a simple matter to just grow our meat in labs. Heck, we're already making lab-grown meat TODAY, and will apparently have our first artificial hamburgers within the year.

Of course, there is also the ethical dilemma of whether or not to bring the livestock with anyway. Bringing them with would lead to interesting complications when interacting with the inhabitants of Equestria, but leaving them behind would doom them to certain death. Not really an easy answer there.

Finally, I want to second Shira on the request that you "don't go conversion bureau on us".

>>442643442643

Ponification (I give up on spelling this) can be done well but I hate when it is forced, it takes the 'H' right out of an HiE fic without exploring any of the deeper issues as to why someone would give it up. Which is what makes HiE fics awesome in the first place.

In short, preach it Brother Humanist

>>442643442643

Can I add a "third" to that?

I really enjoyed this chapter. I am glad you took the time on it and didn't try and rush it out Sunday night.  I have to say though that I thought chapter 11 was a little dry compared to the rest of P:S so far.  We had the unknown antagonist at the end, but it didn't feel like much happened. I am glad to see that you are again picking up the pace with chapter 12. I am eagerly awaiting the encounter with Celestia and what Erin's reaction will be to encountering an alicorn (and hopefully seeing that she actual has the ability to move celestial objects? ).  I also keep having this idea pop up in the back of my mind that maybe someone in Equestria could help with the black tide back on earth.

Also the whole "bringing livestock to Equestria" problem ... brilliant! I had never considered that before, but man that could sure turn into a can of worms.

Great chapter! Your post on Sunday will make up for there not being an episode

First of all, your worries are unfounded - this is great. I wish the chapters were longer so that I have more to read. Second of all, your worries are unfounded - this is great. I've not spotted a single typo is there are any simply because I've been too engrossed in reading to notice any. Third of all, your worries are unfounded - this is great. I love Erin as a character, and she's a pretty nice person to boot. I can't wait to see her interaction with those idiotic bureaucrats up in Canterlot, no to mention her opinion of Celestia. Forth of all, your worries are founded - this is bad. I've run out of chapters to read. (insert erotema here) When's the next update?

TL:DR This is one of the best HiE fics I've ever read; it's in second place, and pushing for first. My only issue with chapter length is that I'm running out of things to read much too quickly for my insatiable appetite for words - and your spelling and grammar perfectly fine as far as I've noticed. Read'em all in one shot: Favorited/Tracking, thumbs way, way up.

Edit: An erotema is a rhetorical question... I eagerly await Sunday.

She Is NOT adorable

Great chapter...What is this creature...i wonder.

So can she control her senses? That would be cool to be able to do that.

Good stuff so far!

I enjoy the Conversion Bureau stories. I think it's a neat premise, and a great way to do OC's and self-inserts within a consistent framework.

HOWEVER!

I do have some problems with the basic concept. Primarily that I can't imagine that most people would go through with being "ponified". The only reason Erin agreed to it herself was that it could be reversed. Well, that and she'd get super-powers. Can't ignore the super-powers.

As for what is in that cave, wait a few more chapters. You'll see then, I don't want to spoil it

There won't be much "thing in the cave" for the next chapter or two. I have to make sure the timelines are synched up, and Erin's timeline is actually lagging a little behind the "thing's" time line at the moment.

As always, thanks for reading and commenting! It really helps keep me going