Source
<

Gabriel LaVedier 3623270

Joined December 2011
228 followers

    Groups

    Gabriel LaVedier's Stories (36)


    Zecora is getting close to the Apple Family. Day by day she grows into a figure that could join their ranks. Granny Smith knows best how to handle that. But her solution may, somehow, be worse than what her grandchildren feared.

    First Published
    23rd Dec 2011
    Last Modified
    23rd Dec 2011

    Comments ( 41 )

    #1 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Dear Celestia, how did you learn to rhyme like that?! I could actually hear Zecora's voice during all of her lines, and the rhyming didn't sound forced at all. Damn, I'm impressed. :ajsmug:

    #2 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>83957

    I finished a poetry course last quarter and still had all my notes. Also, I carefully controlled the rhymes and the meter. In fact, I wanted to try working in three specific types of poetry: Ballad Stanza (quatrain of alternating tetrameter and trimeter rhyming ABCB); Venus and Adonis Stanza (six lines of iambic pentameter with rhymes ABABCC); and some useage of trochaic octameter (a line of eight trochees, which are like the opposite of an iamb; The Raven was written mostly in this.)

    Glad you liked it :rainbowkiss:

    #3 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    That poetry course really showed in that fic. It also shows the problem with the typical racist grandma, she has been brought up that way and sticks to it and even if they don't mean to be racist they already have been 'programmed' by their parents to think in these stupid stereotypes. That of course leads to situations like this, the nicer granny smith was trying to be the worse her racism got.

    #4 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>84000

    That's exactly where I was going with it. The horrible part is, you can't hate her. She doesn't mean to be a hideous bigot. Not that shew ISN'T, to donkeys and buffalo and such, but she's not intending it towards zebras. But even "They dance good" "they run fast" and "they like muskmelon" are just that, coming unbidden.

    #5 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>84009

    True words, even 'compliments' can be racist. It sounds a little strange but I think I can relate to the 'they must like melon' stereotype best. Since I'm german most people would assume that I love sauerkraut but truth is I can't stand the stuff.

    #6 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    *Before I finish the story*

    JEEBUZ! Granny Smith's SERIOUSLY RACIST!

    *Aand after I finish, The other half*

    *After I finished*

    *Sputters* WH-b-b-but...-but....Jeez! Granny's STILL a HEEEUUUUUUUGE Racist, Zecora's actually upset, AppleBloom is worried for her, but in the end, I think that Zecora and applebloom are cloer than ever....

    Also, Did Granny REALLY think tat AppleBloom was smitten with Zecora? If anything, i thought Zecora Was so fond of her, because she always wanted to have a Foal, while AppleBloom looked up to her like the Aunt that has a sworn duty to Spoil her Grand/Step Children.

    ...Imma read it again.

    ALLONS-Y!

    #7 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>84044

    Granny thinks Applebloom is smitten with Zecora because... she is. Just my personal ship but I find it cute.

    Applebloom is both being mentored and is engaging in pre-dating. And Zecora is finding more and more reasons to never go home again. Applebloom is a good reason to stay around. She's just going to get older, more mature, and more suitable for marriage.

    #8 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>84035

    Heh. I get that too. I'm pretty hispanic looking and everyone assumes I like hot foods and Mexican cooking. I actually prefer Bristish food. Weird but true. :moustache:

    #9 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>84071 Indeed, everyone assumes that because I'm English I can't cook. My family has Michelin stars in it, for goodness' sake!

    ...

    Ahem. Sorry. Now then. Excellent fic, and I liked the metres you used very much indeed. It just... sounded like Zecora, and Granny Smith sounds like my own grandmother. Especially since my best friend's black (yeah, we've had a lot of awkward moments)/

    #10 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Softcore racism is still racism no matter how you slice it. But you can't blame Granny Smith for trying. Excellent read, this. Take five of these stars.

    #11 · 73w, 6d ago · · 1 ·
    Reply 

    You ruined a perfectly good fic with shipping. And an unusual one at that. But all the same it was well written and incredibly enjoyable to read.

    I'd rather Appleblooms relationship with Zecora was purely platonic, mother daughter type, with Zecora being a replacement for Appleblooms dead parents.

    #12 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>84341

    Mother anda daughter... Dude, that's freaky :moustache:

    #13 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I blame you for this. It's Christmas morning, I woke up in the middle of the night and now I'm reading a wonderful meditation on the nature of racism and innocence and it is ponies. You are to blame.

    #14 · 73w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    The whole shipping aspect is a bit weird and awkward due to the generational/age difference, but otherwise a nice little story. Well done. :3

    #15 · 73w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I love the "old people ate racist" jokes. We have had to correct my grandmother a few times for things like this. Another story that earns my 4.5 of approval. I must say that I am glad that you are a writer with the ability to use proper grammar. I heard Zecora well in most places. A few times the words used seemed like words she wouldn't use. I also noticed the same mistake everyone makes with the apple family, namely adding an s to the end of verbs that don't need them. Most won't care about that though.

    #16 · 73w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Ironically i'm okay with the shipping (If we have alicorn, that are practically the ponies GREAT grandmothers, than i'm okay with it.)

    its a very good story

    #17 · 73w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>85044

    I guess it's just me, but the generational/age difference isn't as big of a deal because I think of Equestria in a sort of older-timey way. And my two of my grandparents were married with, like a thirteen year age difference. That's almost an entire generation. Plus the age of consent was different, and I imagine it's so here. Post cutie mark plus or minus a few years depending.

    #18 · 73w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I like this pairing truthfully (And to lot of you, if you are able to ship spike with different ponies, than you shouldn't bellyache

    #19 · 71w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Even though I want to stab your Granny Smith in the neck with an ice pick, the casual racism (specism?) had my laughing the whole time. Near the middle I started to wonder if it was a test, then decided nope, she's just old. I really love this version of Equestria you've set up, only three more stories and the Utena play to go.

    Oh, perfect Zecora; she's one of my favorites.

    #20 · 71w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>116445

    Thank you, thank you. I'm glad you like it. I really like this Equestria, a functioning bureaucracy/ministry Principality headed by living goddesses. But surrounded by other nations.

    #21 · 63w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Umm Fillyfooler here just asking is the word 'fillyfooler' used in this because if it isn't could you please move it from the group just cause of the rules i set down at the start. Now I know that being a big bad controller will get me no where but I did sorta say only works with the word 'fillyfooler' in them would be allowed. So if there is please inform me, if not please remove.

    #22 · 63w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>293835

    Well, at least you're a kinder, gentler overlord. I actually thought I had put it in here (Granny Smith loves to mention that AJ is a Filly fooler because it gives her normalcy in social status.) If I didn't remember to put it in, I will, in a minute.

    Are you saying only fics with that term are allowed? Because I have one with zero direct shipping and only two characters that uses the term but has no actual lesbian content. How would that be tagged?

    #23 · 63w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>293858

    Ah sorry forgot that, the fic is quite good actually and your other question I guess when I made the rules I really just wanted a group of my own where I could expose people to my fics, then I got members and now I'm sorta just going with the rules so sure go ahead, but not like hate fics please.

    #24 · 63w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>293867

    Ahhh, no. It's actually "The Discarded son." Granny Smith gushes over Applejack's social normalcy in being a filly fooler.

    #25 · 55w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Well thought out and executed to perfection as always! This story really touched me as I had been in a zebra/pony relationship for ten years all while living in the deep south. It's exactly as the vibe your story gives. Well meaning but rude and a bitch to endure so that you don't seem like the ass in the situation.

    #26 · 55w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>513049

    Hard to handle the casual racism because no one seems to realize that they're being evil. The surrounding culture scaffolds the negativity and makes it the bare bones base. I applaud your courage :yay:

    #27 · 24w, 4d ago · 1 · ·
    Reply 

    Painful yet poignantly written. Nicely done.

    #28 · 24w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1727461

    Thank you very much.

    #29 · 18w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Very interesting, this one. Though, something confuses me a bit. On your page you list a story thread as "The Unfavorite-The Nightwatch-Hatred Would be better...-The Unsuitable". But I can't find what links them all. Zecora is in the middle two, but not the others. Bad Apple is in the first two, but not this one or Unsuitable, if I remember correctly. Luna is in three, but not this one, as well.

    P.S. I know I've been making a lot of comments lately. I've been going through most of your stuff, and I like your style.

    #30 · 18w, 17h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1942100

    Hey, more comments is good. They make all this writing worthwhile and there's no substitute for that.

    It's a combination of all the characters, actually. The Unfavorite shows Bad Apple Meeting Luna, starting a branching chain. The Nightwatch has Bad apple injured by the monster of hate and healed by Zecora (She seems to be a go-to; she tends to him again in "Apple Shrugged" but in a private suite in Canterlot). Hatred Would be better... is more on Zecora and Applebloom, which is really about showing how Zecora interacts with the rest of the Apples, but it can also be implied to be a lead in to The Unsuitable where Zecora gets rewarded for her loyalty and skill, with Luna's thanks for her efforts, and a subtle indication they will someday be kin.

    #31 · 18w, 9h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1976128

    Ah yes, I forgot that they show up in The Unsuitable's ending. All I remembered from that one was Luna insulting a buch of nobles with old-fashioned English.

    #32 · 17w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    With what you said regarding your Equestria being a bit "old timey"  what most people need to remember is that up until as late as the early 1900s (circa 1910), the average age for marriage was about 14 or 15 years.  Girls would often get married off as soon as they began menstruating so they could give birth to as many children as possible since, for most families, children were required to help support the family.  Your average family didn't live to be much older than their 50s, and the infant mortality rate was incredibly high.  Plus mothers could easily die in childbirth as well.  So if we're talking this Equestria sees relationships as similar to 18th/19th century views then Zecora/Applebloom is totally fine.

    Aside from all that, I thought it was a wonderful fic what dealt well with the topic of racism.

    #33 · 17w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
    Reply 

    >>1990668

    And oddly... it's not even really about racism. Just the aftermath thereof when the generations are changing. The old words sting even without venom in them.

    And I always thought of the Equestrian age of majority as 16, time enough for puberty to be settled and for schooling to be settled, with the following choice of trade/technical specialties or higher education.

    #34 · 7w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Nicely done. That was a clever way to explore an uncomfortable but very real issue.

    Also, Zecora and Applebloom are cute together. :pinkiehappy:

    #35 · 7w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>2368706

    Glad someone else thinks so. It's a hard ship to find, even harder than DiamondSilver. Or Scootabelle.

    #36 · 7w, 9h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I loved this :heart: It was painful to read some parts and associate it to real life, not  in a bad way, I mean in a really awesome way :pinkiehappy: Plus I love Zecora x Apple Bloom :heart::heart::heart: There simply isn't enough of it!

    Thanks for a great read!

    #37 · 6w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>2377456

    Thank you. Life is often painful. But it must happen and be endured. And yes, Applebloom and Zecora are a cute couple.

    #38 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I loved this fic. Zecora doesn't often get represented well on this site, but you nailed it, and the hurt she experienced felt real; she wanted to be happy and knew that Granny Smith wasn't being intentionally racist, but it was nevertheless there. I hope a sequel is in the works, as this pairing is wholly unique and masterfully written.

    #39 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>2397069

    It is hard to manage in large doses. Between the rhyming and the limited number of things they can do (it's a jail bait wait after all) it is best used in the background. See: The Unsuitable, Dames of the Tea Table- My Fair Fair, Pets of Ponyville- Chapter four, Revelatory Filly Skydance.

    #40 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Applejack and Big Mac are spineless who need to learn that just because granny is older doesn't mean she's above enlightenment.

    #41 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>2476838

    If she wanted to she could banish them from the family and not lose a night of sleep over it. She banished her own firstborn son. She's fairly ruthless.

    0 5132 15132
    Anonymous comments currently disabled. Please register to make comments