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The air rushed past her ears with a howl, the currents cutting at her skin as she dived towards the earth. An irrepressible smile spread across her face as her mane waved behind her in the wind, only to have the smile wiped away as what awaited her on the ground made itself known.
Inspired by this image by tassadoul.
Wow, that ending. 
well you did a good job like fav mustache 
Chuck Norris as of now.
That was really good, and surprisingly emotional for something fairly short. I rather liked it.
Two minor complaints, though; we hardly see any of the rest of the Mane 6's reactions despite them being equally close friends. They were in the hospital once, for what read like a few minutes, before they were thrown out. What kind of hospital has visiting hours that last, like, ten minutes? Also, Rainbow's admission at the end just, in my opinion, kinda fell flat. There was no foreshadowing or building up to it, so it was sudden and didn't seem to have much impact. That scene would have been just as poignant without it, or phrasing it as "I never had a chance to tell her how much she meant to me," or something along those lines.
Praises: I think the flashbacks were really well done and helped build up the atmosphere by slowly revealing what exactly had happened. Rainbow was in character as the stubbornly loyal pony she is, and overall I think the portrayal of emotions was realistic.
Also, not a criticism but a question: Did Rainbow accidentally crash into Rarity, or did Rarity intentionally try to break Rainbow's fall? I guess it doesn't really matter, but I'm curious.
In conclusion:
>>1439244 Hey, thanks for that!
For the complaints:
1) Yeah, I understand that. I just didn't want to focus on them.
2) I think I might change that line to what you suggested. Just as much impact, less flat feeling.
For the Question:
Rarity broke her fall, because if RD had been falling over her, she would have seen and moved out of the way.
Also, before anyone asks why she didn't use magic.... Magic is like a solid wall when used to catch something. The same thing would have happened with magic as it would have with the ground. Splat.
EDIT: Also errant, if you liked this you might like my other works. I do things such as this quite often. If you do decide to take a peek at them, I suggest Something to Remember me by
Well, I was gonna say stuff, too, but Errant over there already covered most of it, what with the flashbacks and the dramatic impact. Overall, the delivery and execution was pretty good. My only complaint, though, is that the rest of the Mane 6's appearance was fairly jarring, and contributed much less than it should have. I get what you're going for, trying to focus on Rainbow Dash, but the others seemed like they were just an afterthought, like they were just there for the sake of it. It wouldn't have been such a problem for me if it didn't pull me out of the story, slightly. The emotional weight of everything prior suddenly disappeared, what with their lack of reaction. It's like, all of a sudden, Rarity comatose and dying in direct proximity of every character suddenly isn't such a big deal. You could have done to involve them a little more, that part just stood out in a bad way.
Also, when Rainbow Dash says,
“Well, basically what happened is—“
it's just the same. The word choice is painfully casual, like she's explaining an Ikea instructional booklet, and wasn't crying just earlier.
Still, 'twas a good story. Keep it up!
Ah, so i see my guess was right, Rarity caught RD, trading her life for Rainbow's.
Someone put up this GIF of getting slammed with a box of feels on my story.
I wish I had it with me, for that is what your story has done to me.
Beautifully written. I can see how you made the featured box.
well, according to the FAQ:
How should I use category tags?Basically, don't have two conflicting tags on your story. For example, a story cannot be both Sad and Tragic, as they are just completely different genres. Use your common sense!
What are the different categories?Sad: These are stories whose primary purpose is to make the reader feel depressed or sorrowful, yet are not "tragic." This is a tag that is pretty exclusive to the fandom.
Tragedy: This tag should be reserved for stories that are more dramatic in nature, in which the main character is brought to ruin through some tragic flaw or weakness of character.
According to Wanderer D (warning- this links to a pretty big rant on the subject)
Sad = The story is sad. The point of it is sad. Sadness is the theme or at least a major theme of the story. If the whole thing is sad, there is no room for Tragedy. Because Tragedy comes from the buildup to it, which can have sad moments but not the whole story.
This blog post has more information on the use of tags.
If you think about it, would you describe Romeo and Julilet, or Macbeth as sad?
Not to say that it detracted from your story (Which I would like to point out that I enjoyed), but I do get a little OCD when it comes to rules. (Which explains why I have so few friends
)
>>1439634 Heart of granite... I make it a point to make those crumble. Might I suggest reading some of my other stories, more specifically Something to Remember me by.
And if my stuff doesn't do it, I suggest theswimminbrony's The Things We Leave Behind.
Seeing the comments, I thought that this was gonna make me cry or something, but no. Really a good short story, but a little cliche, if I do say so myself.
>>1439662 Hmmph. Challenge accepted. But you better believe me, I'm a tough nut to crack! I can watch an orphanage burn and be... reduced to a bit of sniffling, if not a full out mental breakdown. But! I've not cried at a story yet, and I shall not anytime soon! Mark my words... with pen, preferably, because highlighter is dumb and markers bleed through.
Heartlessly,
~Plyxe
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