Kinda late, will read up on it tommorow

Edit: Interested, TaviScratch is indeed a very familiar concept as >>13289791328979 pointed out. But you do have my interest. Tracking.

TaviScratch? Familiar starting territory ...

>>13267831326783

>>13289791328979

Yep, familiar beginnings, unexpected endings, or so they say...

Very promising start :3

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_cake.png

>>13304151330415

I hope to provide a very promising continuation

Expect an update in 7-8 hours or so

Holy hell yes. This sounds amazing, will read shortly.

An update in 8 hours? Please make sure that you don't rush the story. A good story is better than one that updates frequently.

>>13307881330788

I know. I just have the chapter almost finished.

As for the pacing, it will be... um... not rushed, and not slow, but realistic, concerning the atmosphere and the setting.

Aw man, this is absolutely 100% relevant to my interests.

TavixScratch and... JAZZ!

And you're doing a great job with it so far, I'm loving the mood you're setting up and the time period you chose. Nice flow to it, and I'm liking your portrayal of Octavia.

...Baw, I'm so totally excited for this!!

>>13310671331067

Thank you! I'm glad you like it!

A new chapter's coming soon, if you can stand some 3-4 hours~

>>13310851331085

Oo, perfect... I'm off to class right now. That should be right about when I'm getting back!

...I'm counting on you!

>>13311011331101

Haha~

Mhmmmm... that's interesting... for Tavi NOT to feel that Classical music didn't have expression, not done from the soul... as well as Fillyfooling to be a crime.

>>13311981331198

I'm glad I piqued your curiosity.

>>13312391331239

Pairing, not unique. However the story we are having with this pairing would be unique...

At the end, Tavi needs to learn how to play Classical from the soul...

>>13312441331244

We'll see...

Wow. I managed to write this faster than I'd expected

Likes? Faves? Comments?

... Seems a bit too quick to be honest. Didn't get to learn that much about vinyl and well... yeah. Too quick.

>>13313391331339

I'm just giving the setting; that's not the plot yet. And Vinyl and Octavia's past will be revealed later. Besides, in real life (at least in mine) things always happen that quick.

>>13313491331349

What we had with Tavi last chapter gave us a good setting and introduced us to her very well. Vinyl however... didn't really get that.

>>13314851331485

You see, this is not the kind of story that goes like:

1) Give backround info

2) Write a dozen senseless time-prolonging chapters

3) Make Tavi and Vinyl fall in love

4) ???

5) PROFIT!!

This one is a work of light noire, which means that additional details will be released through supporting characters, global events and so on. The story was meant to happen like this:

1) Make Tavi and Vinyl fall in love real quick

2) Light stuff happens

3) Dark stuff happens

4) SHOCKING REVELATIONS!

5) ???

6) ???

7) ???

8) PROFIT!!

I see your concern, but you shan't worry: you'll get all the details.

>>13315101331510

... Yeah, I wasn't saying that it was a story with 'dozen senseless time-prolonging chapters'. I'm just objecting to the fact that you introduced us to Octavia very well, but Vinyl only got a small section and then we have Tavi jumping in and the two falling for each other. I mean, there is a difference between 'quick' and 'too quick'

>>13315171331517

Well, even though our views differ, I will be sure to take your opinion into consideration in the future

>>13315471331547

Really? I'm just a random guy...

>>13315531331553

I always listen to all the feedback my readers provide and try to improve accordingly. Without the readers' help, I wouldn't have achieved half of the skill I possess now.

I was a little confused as to how Octavia wound up in a Jazz bar/club, maybe having a small line or two leading into it would be nice. But i'm just being picky. Good work

>>13316221331622

Oh, she wanted her life to change, simple as that. You know, sometimes you go out in the streets, walking aimlessly, roaming about town and then end up in some place? That's basically it

>>13316541331654 Ahhh fair enough

>>13316991331699

>>13315681331568

Good to hear!

Well, the setup and invoking of jazz at the end are enough to keep me invested in this piece so far.

>>13318681331868

I'm very glad to hear that~

A new update will be up tomorrow evening (GMT)

You've done very well on this. The emotion and imagery really paint a picture of a 30's era Manehatten. The situation you've put Tavi and Vinyl into is interesting to. Looking forward to more.

Good chapter, I quite enjoyed it!

Great atmosphere you set up, and yeah, definitely feeling the 30's era! Sort of generally dismal, but little pockets of shininess, kind of. I like how you're portraying the jazz as a radical fringe deal, and sort of connecting it together with homosexuality as a marginalized thing. You got a lot going for this, I think.

One thing I would suggest--when you're describing what the characters are feeling, maybe try not to just straight up say exactly what they are feeling. It's generally more effective to show how they're feeling through a more round about way, either in how they're acting or behaving or something. Or even just describing the emotion without exactly saying it. It makes the reader feel it, rather than just know it.

Now, I know you're trying to be brief at the beginning here, but just something to think of as you're writing or whatever.  Still... short and slick little metaphors or a quick expressive note on specifically how they're behaving and their physical gestures can still be quite brief (in some cases, maybe even more streamlined), and could maybe add a lot while keeping with the pacing. (But... they usually take a fair bit of time to come up with, when trying to write them!) But I think it's something that could really take this to the next level.

I'm really stoked to see where you're going with this! There's so much potential for drama with the two of them and this setting, you know? (Um... yeah, of course you know!) But yeah, liking this a lot!

The fic keeps going strong. I definitely like the natural dialogue and insight of Vinyl and Tavi here.

>>13329001332900

Thanks~

>>13336291333629

One thing I would suggest--when you're describing what the characters are feeling, maybe try not to just straight up say exactly what they are feeling. It's generally more effective to show how they're feeling through a more round about way, either in how they're acting or behaving or something. Or even just describing the emotion without exactly saying it. It makes the reader feel it, rather than just know it.

The thing is, I usually do that - but in this story I decided to roll with a new perspective, which lets me, as an author, get inside the character's heads, thus reading their thoughts directly. Called omniscient or something.

Now, I know you're trying to be brief at the beginning here, but just something to think of as you're writing or whatever.  Still... short and slick little metaphors or a quick expressive note on specifically how they're behaving and their physical gestures can still be quite brief (in some cases, maybe even more streamlined), and could maybe add a lot while keeping with the pacing. (But... they usually take a fair bit of time to come up with, when trying to write them!) But I think it's something that could really take this to the next level.

Yes. That's very good advice, that I sometimes forget to follow But hey, I'm improving! Honestly!

Thank you for your feedback. Detailed opinions and criticism is what I need and, at the same time, what most readers, however awesome they are, fail to provide

>>13340411334041

Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it!

>>13349111334911

No prob! Yeah, it's all kinda the stuff everybody knows... and the hard part is just sort of trying to always think about it...

And yeah, I'd say even with an omniscient point of view, you should still stick to more of a show don't tell kinda way of describing, in general! (Just because you're allowed to see exactly what they're thinking doesn't mean you should say just exactly what they're thinking... ? Maybe? Okay, I don't know...)

My reading list is already so large as to be ungainly. And yet, here I am adding more to it....

I'm intrigued. I shall be watching this. A quick proofread might benefit you in the future (I'm noticing a few grammar mistakes here and there), but there's nothing glaring, nothing that makes it difficult to read.

>>13351131335113

Well, I'll try to use both show and tell in neccessary proportions

>>13354681335468

Thanks! As for now, I'm trying not to bug my proofreaders with this fic but if it grows popular, I'll find a separate proofreader.

I got a fever and the only prescription is more tavi/scratch

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_smile.png

In other news being a fan of old films this had me at the first few words and didn't disappoint.

>>13362721336272

I'm very happy to see such a devoted fan of Vinyl/Tavi and noire!

>>13365731336573 same to you, I would have said this in my last comment but, I could tell you had watched old movies, specifically the good noire kind by the way you wrote the description of the town and it's inhabitants. the tone good noire narrating gives to a scene can be breathtaking (take this fic for example). I hope this updates soon, I really want to see where it goes.

...

here have vinyl staring at Tavibutt

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_plot.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png

>>13366281336628

I'm totally laughing under the floor because Vinyl staring at Tavi's plot is exactly the scene I'm writing right now

Oh... Spoilers, I guess?

Expect an update in 5-7 hours

This is looking very good.

>>13378651337865

Thanks~

>>13367601336760

I just started reading this and i get a new chapter THAT soon?

Its not even christmas, easter, new year, turnip day my birthday.

The story is great, you were certainly not talking verbal diarrhea when you said that this fic would be your best.

>>13379001337900

Yay for impromptu presents!

Also, I reeeeeally hope for it to be the best!

A cheer from my favorite pony, to let you know that this chapter is aboslutely, mindblowing.... ahh screw it I LOVE IT.

>>13379531337953

I'm really happy right now  

Thank you~

Ya know me, always there to gloat in my own ego provide help.

>>13356841335684

Hmm, looking back on my comment I think I may have seemed to say mostly what I didn't mean to say. It's not hearing what they're saying inside their heads that I was talking about, I think that part's fine. I think that works quite well, and is quite a streamlined way of handling that, and is a lot of fun. All I meant was kind of the parts where you say "Vinyl was happy. She was truly, sincerely happy." That's the kind of stuff I feel not directly mentioning the feeling would improve upon it. Just wanted to clarify or something...

Anyway.

"Who in Equestria plays jazz without a shot or two?" So much approve.

And great chapter, I can't get enough of this!