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EvilNaab 1010

Joined September 2012
10 followers

    EvilNaab's Stories (10)

    • The Evil Never Sleeps
      She saved Luna couple of times and now once more she provides her the solution and something more as well

      6,163 words · 266 views · 34 likes · 4 dislikes
    • Twilight's Desires
      It's hard to be alone
      3,657 words · 410 views · 26 likes · 5 dislikes
    • Spitfire's happiness
      Dash/Fire
      8,116 words · 424 views · 14 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Luna's Secret
      Luna was hiding something from Celestia for so long and she is scared to say anything, but things happen
      4,977 words · 240 views · 10 likes · 2 dislikes
    • The Banished One
      3,174 words · 141 views · 10 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Nightmare's Last Curse
      4,741 words · 175 views · 7 likes · 2 dislikes
    • Twilight's Nightmare
      3,426 words · 464 views · 6 likes · 10 dislikes
    • Acceptance
      4,555 words · 98 views · 4 likes · 7 dislikes
    • The changeling who wanted more
      8,516 words · 605 views · 6 likes · 39 dislikes
    • The Untold Words
      3,453 words · 33 views · 1 likes · 4 dislikes

    English is not my native language, but i hope it's readable and you guys will enjoy it if not i'm sorry about that. i'll appriciate any comment.

    Dash meets a new arrival to the town who have some unusual wings and she will get to know the story behind it.

    Not the best title and description. :/

    First Published
    17th Sep 2012
    Last Modified
    17th Sep 2012

    Comments ( 7 )

    #1 · 35w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    You didn't need to tell us English wasn't your native language.

    We could tell from reading the story.

    #2 · 35w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Hey, if you want any help with all of the phrasing or stuff, you could always get somebody to edit your work after you write it.

    Just join a "New Writer" or "In need of Editor" group... you could also just shoot someone a private message and ask them to proofread. These look like really interesting stories, and it sounds like you have great ideas :pinkiehappy: but are not able to portray them how you want to in english.

    I really like the ideas, and hope you can succeed! :twilightsmile:

    #3 · 35w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1292874

    Thank you, it means a lot to me

    i was thinking a lot about if i should upload it or not because i was afraid  about what will people say about my english, i hope some one will want to preread my other stories and do those what you mentioned.

    #4 · 35w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    You have some grammar mistakes, but its ok since english isn't your native language. i like the concept of the story. :pinkiehappy:

    #5 · 35w, 23h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    I thought this was good even though there was grammar mistakes

    overall good job

    #6 · 35w, 20h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Two stories? By the same author? IN A ROW?

    :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

    1) You have a lot of the same formatting issues in this one as you did in the last (or next? I guess the other was published second). "Quote marks" are for spoken words, italics are for thoughts. That's the typical formatting for English fiction.

    2) Dash's instant attraction to Sky is a bit obnoxious. Real relationships take time to build.

    3) Pacing. Slow down and build the world and its characters.

    Hope this helps! :twilightsmile:

    #7 · 34w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1292744 There's no need to be rude

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