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Cheerilee has a terrible little secret, one that she knows may cost her her job and reputation; she knows that it will be discovered one day, and she knows what that means.
But she just can't stop.
Contains linguistic sadism, grotesque grammar, bad teaching and Cheerilight.
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The first chapter made me think I was in for a hilarious romp through the fields of frivolity.
The second chapter showed me the meaning of the Dark tag.
Can't wait for Chapter 3.
This is the naughtiest thing I've ever read. Without doubt.
1519916
It appears that I've applied analogical reasoning too freely.
Fixed. I'm surprised that that's the only error.
edit: There's going to be more.
I'd like to imagine that I am capable of a great variety of writing styles.
This includes the style of sleazy pornography, of course, but why on earth ought I to waste my foray into it on actual pornography?
That would just be an utter waste, wouldn't it? The only shame I have is that I wasn't able to fit in a joke about the Tamil hermaphrodite character. The third chapter isn't my best work, and I do apologise. I swear, for some reason I can't write a comedy without it turning into a soul-scarring experience.
In any case, I assume some people want an explanation of various things. I originally had a far more comprehensive bit going on, but it was eaten up; here's a more cursory bunch of trivia that might be useful to the confused.
Dysfluency's Lowlands Unicorn is French. Cheerilee mispronounces it badly; the sentences themselves are just cuts of nonsense along the lines of j'aimerais manger le foin quand il a poussé.
Dyslexia's Highland Unicorn is German, its Loshadrillic is Cyrillic, its Stalliongradski is Russian and its Ostlesan is Ukranian. Worthy Prose is a pun on Dostoevsky's name, Ostlesan is a mash-up of ostler and Odessa and Loshadrillic is a mash-up of лошадь and Cyrillic. The Russian is so butchered as to be untranslateable by one as unskilled in the language as I; ask a Russian to read it and tell me the results.
Dysaethenia's Bovi-Equine is Indo-European, its Windwards Griffonian is Mandarin Chinese and its Riverwards is Yu (Cantonese). Cheerilee uses butchered syllables from the latter to describe the characters, expressed in faux-Hanyu Pinyin to represent her terrible accent.
I don't think I've encountered a fic before in which I had to expend conscious effort to move past the palpable depravity of it, like I had to in this chapter. It's no doubt one of the most appalling things I've ever read, and I love it.
Pure evil. I'm speechless.
You seem to be very fixated on grammar structure and foreign languages
The concept for this would never have occurred to me
You think that's bad...
Try teaching a conlang as a real language!
Esperanto! Klingon! Elvish!
I didin't understand what was going on until the third chapter. I'm so dumb.
1554181 You're not the worst. I still don't think I entirely get what's happening.
1550570
This, very much so.
I read grimdark. I think it's funny, or maybe sad, or maybe just has some cool pictures. I don't wince when Trixie dies in the snow, Scootaloo gets raped, Pinkie gets addicted to drugs, or Fluttershy is forced to eat her own intestines. But, this is honestly the first time I've ever been tempted to downvote because of content.
This. Hurt.
That you kept bringing the idea back to his potential, and then that he's going to share his notes.
I'd hope that Twilight and Cheerilee get their comeuppance, but I'm not sure anything bad enough could happen to them.
This is the most perverse, obscene and evil story I've ever come across, and it is about grammar.
1554320
), Amit has ventured into the murky bowels of BDSM, foal abuse, etc 
Step 1: Cheerilee finds bad grammar, mangled diction, etc to be perversely erotic
Step 2: Instead of constructing a safe, happy Cheerilight clopfic around this premise like a normal person (
I've seen some fucked up shit... but this...... oh fuck this......
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/299/5/7/what_has_been_seen_meme_gyjcjk_by_arandomerishere-d5j1imw.jpg
IT WILL NEVER GO AWAY!!!
What did I just read
Oh my god, you brilliant motherbucker! This... this is just gold. It's... it's like the most depraved clop ever written, only minus the clop material. It is glorious in how absurd it is. This is pure madness and I love every word of it.
I recognized the French, German, Russian, (nice use of Cyrillic by-the-way) Mandarin, and Cantonise. Shamefully, I was uncertain of the Ukrainian.
I am fascinated by this one, and I do hope for updates soon.
Calling it, this is the new Cupcakes. Except the errors are intentional.
This..I have no words. Good show.
Disregarding diphthongs, diacritics, and orthography.
that is my fetish how did you know
This addiction Cheerilee has is now legitimately distressing.
1554783
I am agreeing with you, so hard, right now. This definitely makes you realize exactly how much faith you put into your teacher, how royally they could mutilate your future through your education. And the worst part is, you wouldn't even know it. Now I wonder if they have standardized testing in Equestria.
On a related note, the elementary school language curriculum is now a gateway drug. Stalliongradski is mescalin and Snips is a veritable fountain of Devil's Ether. Twilight is a teacher, a dominatrix, a drug dealer, and a wizard, all at the same time. We're making good progress, here.
So...let me make sure I'm mentally working this right. Twilight...is co-starring (with Cherrilee) in a fanfic which is a parody of something which is essentially a fanfic...of Twilight. Only instead of bondage and vampires (I think? I don't know...the closest I want to come to fiction about vampires in love is Buffy)...they're misteaching children languages that they'll probably need to know.
This is absolutly delightful. We get an evil version of Twilight, and to a lesser extent Cheerliee, without having to slog through any of the gore or sexual abuse or anything that normally makes this kind of thing take a turn for the hilariously absurd. Granted, the concept is hilariousy absurd on its own, but if one takes the concept on its own terms, one isn't distracted by absurdity within the confines of the story.
And let me just make sure I got it...the joke/point of having her read Not!Russian in Not!English was that she was phonetically sounding out letters and phrases that aren't pronounced phonetically, such as if someone who didn't speak English pronounced the "k" in "knight," yes? I don't know, I make a point of avoiding anything which can't be tied back to Latin or the Germanic languages.
1559415
I could explain, but I could also show:
становящийся is pronounced 'stanovyashchiysya'.
Now, consider what a person with no knowledge of Cyrillic might read it as: 'ctahobrwnncr'.
'ktahobrwn-n-kr' is a phonetic transcription of the sounds Cheerilee's making. She's stubborn about it because only a person so ignorant in the language as to think that Cyrillic is just a different style of Latin could possibly read it like that; she's stubborn about it because reading я - ya - as 'r' would be a move that only an ignorant tourist would make. It symbolises the complete abandonment of her linguistic knowledge and life experience in pursuit of the hedonistic relief of mispronunciation.
Right, that last idea seems really silly when I give it words, but it's totally legit I swear.
Oh...oh, now that makes sense. Well...insomuch as anything here makes sense, at the least. Thanks for explaining, never even once occured to me that someone would try to read Cyrillic that way. And now I'm certain it does, and that's...remarkably depressing.
I always find that the most impressive dark material is generated without strong reliance on carnage and depraved sexuality, and that while both of those things can be important contributors to a dark fic's atmosphere, their overuse can lead to a final product that feels at times absurd and seems to misunderstand its subject material at its core. Dead Space 2 is a good example (though as a game I still like it), as are many of the Cupcakes clones and attempted sequels on this site. Carnage is is like salt: I'm not interested in eating it on its own, but it can sure help the flavor of a meal. That was a creepy simile.
But to me, this is a psychological torment fic done exactly right. It, above anything else I've read on fimfiction, demonstrates that torment and gore/abusive sexuality are separate components to a fic and that the former does not need the latter to succeed. It is to fimfiction grimdark what Slender was to the video game horror genre. And it's absolutely brilliant.
And to choose linguistics as the central theme was the cherry atop this fudge sundae of deliciously dark chocolate evil.
Thank you for writing this. Sir, I tip my hat to you.
oh this is wonderful, pure depravity, and while i enjoy gore and sex as much as the next guy, it's eye opening to see a story offer a more fundamental form of sadism. Pure, unchallenged desecration of a students mind!
It's so...wat. Reading Cheerilee's pronounciation...goodness. It took me two re-reads to figure out it's supposed to be Francais (fancy 'c' not included).
You and your word 'play'
This... This is perverse.
I love it.
1556008
you good sir have the greatest name ever, i personaly prefer plato of the great greek philosiphers but socrates is a very inspiring man as well.
also
cheeralie doing sick love what wrong i is it is and
(what cheeralee is doing is sick and wrong, i love it)
I must confess to a certain degree of bafflement on my part. Everyone else seems to find the piece genuinely disturbing, but I thought it was fucking hilarious. Is everyone else just being really sarcastic?
1646111
It's probably a uniquely adult fear.
1647668
But I'm an adult...
1651496 Good. I need one.
I'm a Chinese and I laughed my ass off.
cks mouse"
天神干鼠 literally means "heavenly god dries mouse" but it can also be interpret as "heavenly god f
人 means "others" when used as a single character, but its literal meaning is "man". So 马人 means horse man(or maybe centaur?)
1655969
I'm actually Singaporean and speak some bastardised creole of the language; the intention was to say ‘Celestia fucks mice’ and present it as a greeting. I'm glad someone got the pun.
In any case, I was trying to insinuate that Cheerilee was teaching Snails that 人 meant ‘pony’ and 马人 meant ‘people’, which would be, of course—if we were to assume that 人 signifies a person, in the naturalist epistemological tradition—absolutely wrong.
1656012
天神 is not Celestia. It means "Heavenly god".
1656103
What do you think 'Celestia' means, or is?
1656204
塞莱斯蒂亚？
1656313
I'm afraid that to the greatest extent of the average man's comprehension, Celestia isn't an Eastern pigweed stopper built of Classical Chinese conjunctions any more than Kennedy is a willingly direct Buddhist nun.
I was fine with this until you got the foals involved.
That was too far.
I've read some odd porn before; tons of bondage, candle wax, whips, and chains. I've read some odd horror stories before; tons of blood, guts, gore, and mutilations.
And then I read this. Wow
.
This fic left me feeling way more disturbed than "Cupcakes" ever did. Just the idea of someone getting their perverse jollies off from the act of knowingly miseducating children and possibly ruining their grasp on information that may be vital to their futures is fucking terrifying. What makes it so much worse is the fact that you wrote it very well. I would love it if this was a terribly put-together jumble of words, because then I'd feel justified in hating it. But, dammit, it's not. You did an excellent job, sir/madam.
So, uh, kudos for writing a story that's going to give me the strangest nightmares. I look forward to reading more.
I was all set to call this my new fetish until you got to this chapter. Here is where you earn that dark tag. Miseducating the young like this has the potential for very dire consequences. What happens if one of them becomes important or famous enough to go to another land and unintentionally cause an international incident by saying something vaguely insulting to the wrong person? Moreover, what happens when they go on to receive higher education, and find out that everything Cheerilee taught them is untrue? Isn't she putting her job in danger if what they're doing is so wrong that there are actual laws against it?
I don't have kids myself, but this kind of thing is the sort that keeps me awake at night. How can we be sure that what our teachers are doing is actual education and not indoctrination? Ever seen that video of the kindergarteners being taught to sing praises to Obama? What high school educated kid knows that Stalin killed millions of his fellow countrymen through starvation simply to drive up the price of wheat so that he could prop up their failing economy?
I'm getting off track here, but you see where I'm going with this. We trust our teachers to educate our young on facts, and Cheerilee is doing the opposite of this. It's no wonder that she's having feelings of guilt, she stunting her charges' growth; actually perverting her cutie mark and special talent. This is going to come back and haunt her. All that being said, I'm still looking forward to reading more, if only for the hopes of seeing some Cheerilight. Not nearly enough of that ship around.
2131005
So you're basically snorting cocaine with shredded glass in it?
2131513
The literary equivalent of it, yes. I... have a problem...
This is so delightfully evil!
This was... <shiver> Ooohhh....
As a teacher myself, I can't say I've ever actually wanted to do this. But I find it so very understandable.
At first I was a little annoyed with the occasional pronoun confusion in the prose, but whether or not it was intentional, I find it quite thematic in the larger scheme of things here. Myself, I've never had any interest in gore or grimdark stories (beyond a small desire to know their plots without reading them). That sort of stuff really grosses me out. So I'm very interested to see what people are saying here about this relative to stories like Cupcakes.
This story is just so wonderfully filthy, so perverse and exciting, I hardly know how to respond to it. This is like making the Marquis de Sade a permanent member of l'Académie Française. The very thought gives me goosebumps.
This should be featured on Equestria After Dark.
2395115
wh
why didn't i do that fuck
(probably because i'm not sure if its foalcon)
fuck it, brb
Wayt wuts goin ahn h3r3
i doenst git ths stry