Epilogue
Epilogue
Claws reached for her as she ran through the forest, ripping at her wings and slicing through her skin. A cruel laugh echoed from behind. It was playing with her, weakening her with every passing minute. Still she ran.
The rain clung to her fur, a cold she couldn’t feel making her shiver. Vines clutched at her hair, twigs snapped at her face, roots reached for her hooves. It was as if the forest was against her, helping that twisted presence chasing her.
She closed her eyes, fighting the nausea welling up from the fatigue her wounds caused her. Her muscles trembled with exhaustion, each hoof beat more unsteady than the last. Breathing was becoming more difficult, her lungs unable to keep up with the demands her body made. But she had to keep running.
For him.
Behind her, the claws descended and she knew no more.
*****
Light blinded her as she awoke. It was warm, cascading down on her like a summer shower. It soothed her. Memories of Hoofington ambled through her mind and she closed her eyes. It would almost be time to get up for the day and work the clouds. Time to fly, free and high.
To see him, though he annoyed her so much.
Smiling, Whisper snuggled against her cloud-pillow, luxuriating in the glow of the sun. It would be a long day of cloud-kicking and weather management, but that was still minutes away. She would enjoy the peace while she could...
“We still don’t know what happened,” somepony said nearby.
Not opening her eyes, Whisper felt her smile fade away. Her ear twitched to hear better. What had happened? Had one of the nimbus clouds gone missing again?
A soft, measured voice replied, “But we do know it didn’t work. At least not entirely.”
Both of the voices were familiar. Now Whisper did open her eyes, rubbing the blurriness from them with a hoof. She froze a moment later when she realized she wasn’t in her room back in Hoofington.
Wood paneling surrounded her, and a subdued hum she hadn’t noticed before rumbled methodically. Other cloud hammocks littered the room, a few pegasi also sleeping in them. A pillar blocked the rest of the room from her sight, but when she looked around it, all she saw was more of the same; that is, except for the two more ponies sitting on the other side of the room, close together.
Ignoring them for the moment, she moved to stand beside her cloud hammock. When her hooves touched the wooden floor, the pain nearly caused her to fall over. As it was, she barely managed to reach out and catch herself on the nearby pillar.
Where am I? she thought, glancing back toward where the sun had shone down upon her. A circular window was set in the side of the wall, and when she looked into it, she saw clouds.
“An airship,” she mumbled, wincing with the effort of standing up.
To her left, the whispers started again.
“What do we tell her when she wakes up?” the female replied.
“We tell her the truth.”
Whisper wandered over to where the voices were coming from, circling the pillar. The two ponies she had seen earlier became distinct the closer she came. The smaller of the two was slowly stroking the shell of a familiar snail.
They looked up at her approach, their faces instantly changing from sadness to surprise.
Quills was the first to recover. “You’re up!”
Professor Search stood in a rush, reaching out a hoof to steady her. “My dear! You shouldn’t be walking about—.”
Whisper grimaced at the pity and gently pushed the Professor’s hoof away. “I’m fine. What’s going on? Where are we?”
“We’re on the Southern Belle,” Quills replied, looking away. “As for what’s going on...”
“I heard you talking. Something about telling me the truth?” Whisper looked imploringly at them, wondering why her friends were considering lying to her. She was momentarily distracted by Swirley sliding up her leg, and she pulled him up to her cheek to cuddle him.
After a moment of silence cuddling, she looked back up at the two. Both of them wore guilty expressions. Whisper narrowed her eyes suspiciously and stuck Swirley on her mane.
“Well?”
Professor Search cleared his throat. “It’s a bit of a story, my dear.”
Suddenly, Whisper noticed there were three other ponies missing. She glanced around. “Where’s Novell?”
“The same place my brother is,” Quills replied bitterly with a look to the side.
Whisper stared at her, finally noticing the younger pony’s eyes were red at the edges. Almost like she’s been crying...
A chill of fear ran down her spine and she knew her face had paled.
The Professor was quick to interject. “They’re not dead, do not worry.”
Quills glared up at the unicorn. “As far as we know, they could be.”
“They’re not,” he replied firmly, staring at Quills pointedly. “As far as we know.”
“If they’re not dead, where are they?” Whisper asked severely, irritatedly stomping her hoof. “What happened when I was out?”
Concern etched over the Professor’s face. “Do you remember what happened to you, dear?”
Painful memories assaulted her, nearly making her faint. She pushed back against the dark thoughts, grimacing internally with the effort. They wouldn’t make her weak. It was done, over with.
Outwardly, she only blinked. “Yes. I was chased through the forest by the Griffons with Rez. But I escaped.” A thought occurred to her. “Rell was—!”
“Fine now,” the Professor said, forestalling her panic with a hoof. “Released and doing well for herself as the new Matriarch.”
“What?” That didn’t make sense. “How?”
“We stopped the war.” Quills sighed. “Halfway through it, anyway. Havoc’s gone... somewhere.”
“The Hippogryphs retreated once we stopped Havoc,” Professor Search continued the tale, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “They scattered through the forest, leaving the Griffons confused and lost. Havoc’s influence on them left and they realized they were being controlled right after.” A twinkle of amusement sparkled in his eye. “Without an enemy to fight, they stopped, their bloodlust cooled. Some questioned the hatred they felt. So the old Matriarch returned the army to the aeries, freeing her daughter and resigning as Matriarch. Rell took over after that.”
“But Havoc isn’t finished,” Whisper guessed. Judging by their reactions, she wasn’t far off the mark.
“We don’t know, to be honest,” Professor Search clarified. “He was sent away and his spell over both the Hippogryphs and Griffons was broken. But as far as the spell working as intended... I can only guess he has been sent... elsewhere.”
Quills’ face darkened at that.
“So, what?” Whisper replied sarcastically to lighten the mood, “Novell went charging off with your brother and Pensive?”
“No.” Quills shook her head and looked away. “They got caught in the same spell Havoc did.”
Whisper didn’t know how to respond to that. She felt herself fall down backwards until she was sitting on the floor, dizziness overcoming her. Holding a hoof to her head, she closed her eyes tightly against the headache already forming there.
Novell was gone, maybe dead, along with Pensive and Scrolls.
So what now? she asked herself. Novell had always been the one to point them in the right direction, the one leading them from one area to another. It had been his quest that she had willingly joined.
What now?
An answer came to her, simple and direct. It was an answer that suited her personality, one that she could do without any help, just like always.
When she opened her eyes, she noticed the Professor and Quills looking at her silently, depression weighing in on them. Swirley’s eyestalks were hanging just above her, as well, that half-lidded stare full of more emotion than anypony else ever saw.
But you don’t have to do this by yourself. You’ve got friends now, Swirley’s eyes seemed to say, even though she didn’t know these two as well as she did Novell. Besides, they need cheering up as much as you do.
Standing up against her pain, she nodded and cleared her throat. The other two stared up at her.
She offered a smile. “Well... let’s go find ‘em.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Croswynd · 13k words · 40 1 · 755 views
- Croswynd · 7.8k words · 12 0 · 532 views
- Croswynd · 6.3k words · 26 0 · 1.1k views
- AkibaWhite · 122k words · 261 13 · 6.2k views
- Croswynd · 4.1k words · 24 1 · 1.2k views
- Void Chicken · 7.2k words · 130 2 · 2.3k views
- Resurgent Wanderer · 12k words · 77 6 · 3k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.131 seconds
Total duration
1,052 users online
2,200,287 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I told myself I wouldn't cry.....
Anyway, hurry the hell up and write the next one already. I expect a rough draft on my desk by Tuesday.
So awesome !
With recent lack of updates, I almost forgot how good your writing is...
However I also forgot your how good you are in making most annoying, emotional, true cliffhangers
Please, please, please feed your inspiration with tasty comments and do not make us wait for the second part too long.
Welp, just plowed through that in a single sitting, and man, it was hopping! Really looking forward to that sequel; you've created compelling OCs, and an intriguing mystery trying to piece together or even understand the same pieces of the puzzle our leads have. Well done!
That was AWESOME
Thank you for the wild ride!
Looking forward to the sequel
Nice way to end it.
Luna almighty, been waiting too damn long for this thing to end so I could read it in a sitting.
Just did so, and I've got to say, this has to be the greatest OC based Fiction on this site. Well, adventure-wise.
My heart out to you, broda.
The little shout-out you gave me makes me want to hug you so darn hard...
I kept commenting because you deserved the support!
Still my favourite fanfic ever, and I can hardly wait for the sequel.
Hell yeah. *fistpump*
Thanks for the shout out. Glad to have been along for the ride, and looking forward to the next one.
3030786>>3030284>>3029634>>3028326>>3027587>>3027358>>3027083
I'm glad you all enjoyed it.
I don't suppose any of you know a good cover artist... because that would greatly speed up my productivity on the sequel, since I need a cover in order to post anything.
Very, very nice.
Been waiting for this and nearly did a flip when I saw that the last chapter and epilogue were here.
3031977
Like personally know or 'I have him in my deviantart watch cause his art is amazing and I know that he is taking commissions' know will suffice ?
3032837
Well, I mean, I'd rather not pay for it since I'm dirt poor, but if commissions are all you know, give me a few names. Maybe I can work things out.
3034808
Well not only paid commissions - for example this guy makes free requests from time to time. And you should check his art - it is surely something.
He wrote in his blog however that he is not taking requests currently. At least until he will finish current requests list and make one or two works for himself.
Anyway.
I think I understand, I'll check my deviantart favs for artists who take free requests, or have not too costly commissions.
No! Novell! We love you!
3035975
People like Novell? I think he's kind of boring, to be honest.
Probably why I got bored with Unmarked, to be fair.
Luckily, the sequel switches some stuff up.
3038012
Glad to be of service
3034808
ok, here we go.
Letters a-c from my deviantart watch :)
this girl does requests if you ask nicely :)
also: this artist and this.
This artist does requests from time to time time, however I do not know if his style would feet adventure story.
This one does live steams regularly and paints requests during streams (but it seems sketches only).
This one draws commisions for very moderate price.
Will add more links tomorrow.
Also I think you will find interesting this blogpost about covers.
Oh, and let me know please if this bunch of links is worth anything and if I should continue. Cause I understand that it is large amount of time/stress to contact unknown people and actually ask them for something, but on other hand I cannot contact them myself as it seems to me that asking for request for someone has less chances that when author of story asks for cover personally.
P.S.: some artists are russian, if you ever need to translate anything to/from - let me know.
3040929
I messaged some of them. Thanks for the list, paul. You're the best.
3036072 - Sure we like Novell! Well, at least I can say I like Novell. He is the "everyman" er, pony. We see through his eyes, and we feel what he feels. We're happy when he's happy, and sad when he's sad.
Also, some of us really like Whisper, too.
Quite frankly, I'm more surprised that this story isn't in the Feature box, and that it doesn't have many more likes, because it should. It's action, adventure, mystery, it's essentially a combination of Indiana Jones, and Lord of the Rings, but with ponies, and not just a retelling of those stories, but its own unique story that is fun. I certainly care about the characters. Seriously, I am impressed with the quality of this story, and I am excited to see its resolution. You are a very capable writer, Croswynd, and you've written a story that is genuinely entertaining.
I do hope you find your inspiration to continue, soon. I am eager to see how this all works out.
Liked, Favorited, Followed.
3066395
People like you give me that inspiration with such lovely comments!
I'm finishing the currently half-done shorter stories I've been meaning to get back to, then I'll set to work on the sequel.
Check 'em out, if ya like.
3066453 - You're sweet, thank you, and I most definitely will check out the stories.
Your shout out made my day. Prepare yourself! Gratification Incoming.
*Also grammar mistakes*
It's taken me three weeks (thanks to some life issues) But man, MAN you have finished epic story here.
I wish you really got featured more because when you did is when I fell upon this story not knowing what to
expect and coming to loving this. (Many other would love it to) I like to thank you for spinning tale of adventure and suspense for me.
Looooking so forward to the sequel.
I"m not a very good critiquer but here I go.
1.Every Character was fresh and new with each their own personality's (And plentiful in fact. I got
what the main characters look like but any side character I couldn't put a face to them),
1a. The scene with pensive and Novell flying from havoc after in chapter 21. I didn't know they fused until havoc said something.
Because I would of love some description on how they looked.
2.Locals were very descriptive (except near the end hippogryph vilage I really couldn't picture what it
looked like)
3. Story to me was top notch always throwing suspense at me ( at some parts they did drag on a bit)
* also these are very ignorable i'm just better with mental images then names*
How you ended it I didn't expect that at all. Makes all that more more exciting for the sequel.
I give this story my highest approval(which probably means nothing) I will now finish and/or start on
your other works because I have free time to enjoy them.
You sir have a good day and keep doing what you think is Awesome.
3046546
Did you receive any positive answers ?
3151346
Not as of yet. One mentioned they'd be willing if I found no one else. I might get back with them.
3145323
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/227/b/5/oh_stop_it__you___pinkie_pie_version_by_nrxia-d5b5ul1.png
Phew, what a ride. What. A. Ride. I mean, dayumn, that is one HELL of a story! But let me start from the beginning...
I stumbled over "Unmarked" back when I was in dire need of some good pony adventure stories. In fact, I think it was good old Ficta_Scriptor that recommended it to me, when I asked around what stories could be considered the best adventure experience here on FIMFiction. Pleasantly surprised by the artwork which allowed me to picture the main characters better, and the fact that this was a completely OC-run story, I didn't hesitate much longer and took to it.
And it was... eh?
Which is not to say that it was badly written, by gods no. Aside from the occasionally forgotten "the", or the confusing inconsistency considering Minh the either Troll or Minotaur, which changed between chapters, "Unmarked" has solid prose. You painted the pictures clear enough for me to imagine, and I could always see what you wanted me to see - or at least I assume so.
The only thing that got me going "eh" in the beginning was, well... somewhat underwhelming stakes. Most of all Havoc. Conceptual not a bad thing, I just got the feeling that the big bad of your story was not given the weight and impact he should have. Or rather, he was he most effective as a villain when he was not there. It kind of is the same problem I have, for example, with Voldemort from the Harry Potter books. Interesting concept, proper build-up and fear surrounding the villain, but when the villain himself steps up... well, it's like the good, old cliché saying: "I thought you were taller".
I'm sounding really negative here right now, don't I? So why am I starting out with calling "Unmarked" quite a ride?
Well, I think it all starts at when the story goes into the Griffin Kingdoms. I can probably not put it into words, but once the party boarded the Southern Belle, something changed in the story. Things got bigger, got more serious. Suddenly, we have tribal barbarians called hippogryphs, antagonistic griffons, political intrigue, and mysterious agendas shifting in the background. Cool locations start to pop up, even more intriguing characters, a believeable and organic change in the dynamic of the group (I was honestly afraid that Whisper and Novell would stay the same throughout the entire story in the beginning, no offense), and to top it all off, a direction from which you couldn't guess where it would go next.
Things got only better from there on out, and once I got to "Chapter 16: Tombfeather"... well, let's just say I completely soaked up that action scene without one breather. I was glued to my screen, reading everything happening in that location (not disclosing it in fear of spoiling anyone who'll scroll through the comments), and when things finally seemed resolved, even more stuff happened! I was stunned, absolutely hypnotized by this tale, until the very ending, which honestly took my breath away. Now that's one hell of a change-up!
So, in short? It took me a while, but before I could realize it, this story had become one of the greatest adventure tales on this site!
Need I expand on anything? Well, I might as well throw in that your main characters are all very well-rounded, a joy to read interact and that Novell is brilliant as a main character going from the village boy to a national hero. Though my personal favorite is still Whisper. That gal is a blast!
So, keep up the good work! I am incredibly enthused to read about what will happen next to this rag-tag group of adventurers!
Stay frosty,
IceColt
Phew, what a ride. What. A. Ride. I mean, dayumn, that is one HELL of a story! But let me start from the beginning...
I stumbled over "Unmarked" back when I was in dire need of some good pony adventure stories. In fact, I think it was good old Ficta_Scriptor that recommended it to me, when I asked around what stories could be considered the best adventure experience here on FIMFiction. Pleasantly surprised by the artwork which allowed me to picture the main characters better, and the fact that this was a completely OC-run story, I didn't hesitate much longer and took to it.
And it was... eh?
Which is not to say that it was badly written, by gods no. Aside from the occasionally forgotten "the", or the confusing inconsistency considering Minh the either Troll or Minotaur, which changed between chapters, "Unmarked" has solid prose. You painted the pictures clear enough for me to imagine, and I could always see what you wanted me to see - or at least I assume so.
The only thing that got me going "eh" in the beginning was, well... somewhat underwhelming stakes. Most of all Havoc. Conceptual not a bad thing, I just got the feeling that the big bad of your story was not given the weight and impact he should have. Or rather, he was he most effective as a villain when he was not there. It kind of is the same problem I have, for example, with Voldemort from the Harry Potter books. Interesting concept, proper build-up and fear surrounding the villain, but when the villain himself steps up... well, it's like the good, old cliché saying: "I thought you were taller".
I'm sounding really negative here right now, don't I? So why am I starting out with calling "Unmarked" quite a ride?
Well, I think it all starts at when the story goes into the Griffin Kingdoms. I can probably not put it into words, but once the party boarded the Southern Belle, something changed in the story. Things got bigger, got more serious. Suddenly, we have tribal barbarians called hippogryphs, antagonistic griffons, political intrigue, and mysterious agendas shifting in the background. Cool locations start to pop up, even more intriguing characters, a believeable and organic change in the dynamic of the group (I was honestly afraid that Whisper and Novell would stay the same throughout the entire story in the beginning, no offense), and to top it all off, a direction from which you couldn't guess where it would go next.
Things got only better from there on out, and once I got to "Chapter 16: Tombfeather"... well, let's just say I completely soaked up that action scene without one breather. I was glued to my screen, reading everything happening in that location (not disclosing it in fear of spoiling anyone who'll scroll through the comments), and when things finally seemed resolved, even more stuff happened! I was stunned, absolutely hypnotized by this tale, until the very ending, which honestly took my breath away. Now that's one hell of a change-up!
So, in short? It took me a while, but before I could realize it, this story had become one of the greatest adventure tales on this site!
Need I expand on anything? Well, I might as well throw in that your main characters are all very well-rounded, a joy to read interact and that Novell is brilliant as a main character going from the village boy to a national hero. Though my personal favorite is still Whisper. That gal is a blast!
So, keep up the good work! I am incredibly enthused to read about what will happen next to this rag-tag group of adventurers!
Stay frosty,
IceColt
This is what an OC named Havoc should be like. MUCH better then the one from the Pony POV Series.
3837013
Yep. There's some editing issues with this part since I originally made Minh a Minotaur before the episode with Iron Will came out.
Wow. This is one of the best-written fics I've read, and it's definitely among my favorites. The way the story was executed was a work of art in itself. You, sir, do good work.
3914013
Thank you muchly! All OC stories don't get on EqD very often for no reason, so I count myself in good company. :P
And now to read the sequel!
What a story! I can only agree with IceColt (3680635 ) here. I loved your characters, that each was unique, had its own personality and was just brilliant. No matter whether it was a background or one of the main characters.
Oi! And your writing style! It was good, really good.
I could continue to spread butter on this story, but... I don't need to. My predecessors have already exchanged the pros and cons of this story, so I really don't have much more to do than to express my approval.
Just shame, that this is not as popular as it should be.