An engineer who is haunted by the loss of his family saves three strangers from a band of thugs. Upon learning more about them he grants them permission to stay at his home as long as they need to. As time passes though they begin to notice things about his behavior when he thinks no one is around. Between his sorrow, his alcoholism, and his drives in the middle of the night they learn that to some, when you lose the closest people in your life nothing else seems to matter. Will they be able to help this man rise above the ashes and move on from the pain and rage that consume him?
Rated Teen for violence, gore, language, adult themes, and sexual situations.
Image cover done by Kiyoshii. http://kiyoshiii.deviantart.com/
Elements of Harmony Vector provided by SpiritofthwWolf. http://spiritofthwwolf.deviantart.com/
Hey guys, thank you for taking the time to read this. Its my first fanfic so don't be too harsh lol. Anyway tips and sugessions are always helpful. Again, thank you for reading.
“I plea the 5th!”
I laughed
Also sorry about taking so long.
From what I've read so far its quite good though the only problem I could see is Eduardo seems slightly.... Over powered might be the best word but other than that I don't see any problems.
84102 Thanks for the insight man, glad you're enjoying it.
great
Glad to see you love your Supras too man.Fancy the Top Secret twin turbo V12 powered one?
I just love it when I get to meet guys who also have the knowledge of cars.
84884 Hell yeah man. If its fast I like it, if its reasonably priced I love it.
84894 Glad I appealed so someones taste.
I'm still writing more chapters but for now this should be enough while I come up with new ideas.
Not bad, keep it up.
i like this story i think i'll watch it btw interestin g take on ponies on earth stories
oooooh, interesting story
84978 Yeah too many human in equestria stories so I thought going the road less traveled and putting my own spin in there. Stick around theres more coming.
85068 These comments make me
.
84926 You know it.
fantastic
Wow, the ending... Gotta say, that sounds pretty rough! In the beginning all the car-mumbo-jumbo had me somewhat confused, as I'm not that much into cars, but it's nice to see that, that isn't the main focus all the time. You're writing a good story, keep it up and at the end you should have something to be proud of. Glassed over and out.
-Glassed
89341 Thanks for the comment, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
After reading the top of the mornin to ya line I now read AJ'S lines with an Irish accent. A promising story you have here!
how you update so fast!? i like this i will await *dramatic pause* MOOOOAAARRR.
91195 Glad you're enjoying it brony.
91273 I have the story already mapped out in the direction I want to go, music included. However I should mention that I'm joining the USAF soon so I'm trying to get an many out as I can but this I promise
you will have.....titaniumteddybear.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/moar-because.jpg
For a first effort, you're not doing too badly. You're using things you know about to add some background color to the story and have managed to keep it interesting. I do like the angle of using pony-controlled access to the earth as a basis for the story.
On the downside, the human character is a bit too good to accept. Expert fighter, marksman, driver, vegan cook, and engineer? No, I can't really accept this as a genuine human being.
A lot of actions taken are a bit short sighted with too many plot holes. Why can they talk the same language? How did they learn so much about humans at that distance? Why didn't they plan on at least a 'we made it' message on arrival? How Spike manage to recount all the details of season 1 in a single evening? Many of these challenges could have been useful plot hooks, scenes, complications, or dialogs. A bit of editor feedback could help you out.
91308 Thank you very much for your input and your concerns will not go unnoticed. I hope the following clears things up.
Fighting- Alison has been best friends since high school and upon learning that his wife was having a child he was determined to protect them at any cost now is Alison going to deny a soon to be father who is also her best friend when she has a 4th degree black belt? I don't think so and its said in the story he was willing to take a beating to learn. Also keep in mind he did have a buy a pistol at 21 and spent many weekends in the shooting range hence the hundresds he spent on ammo. Wouldn't you want to protect your family in the world we live in? He was just trying to be a husband and father. Besides hes not an expert, hes just good which explains why Alison can still kick his ass whenever she feels like it Alison is the expert.
Driving- He has had his license since he was 16 and from the way I depicted him I hope that he would come across as a guy who was always into cars and thus would work on them as well as improve his skills behind the wheel as any regular car guy does, If you're into cars you are typically a better driver.
Cooking- Miami is mostly a latino city and most latinos from anywhere in the carribian can cook. I would know, I'm latino and I live in Miami. Besides hes only cooked one thing and thats spegetti. All it needs is hot water and prego with chunks of onion, garlic and tomato. Cool that rhymed. Plus he was cooking for people who were turned into humans from ponies. He just wanted to show his respect for the vegan life style even though he is an omnivore.(explained in the story)
Engineer- He went to school for engineering and business.
Duh. lol Double major anyone?
Language- Don't the MLP characters originally speak english anyway?
Learning about humans- The observatory in canterlot has a massive telescope sticking out of it and unicors and alicorns that use magic particualrly one Twilight Sparkle who I guess has an admiration for astronomy hell she set the ball in motion in this and Luna who in Equestria IS astronomy. I figure they could have just used a spell to make the telescope see from any distance and focus on details. Twilight did give Spike a killer stash with a tux and what was almost a top hat in season 1.
Arrival- Fluttershy and Spike didn't expect for Twilight to pass out and be chased by thugs in one of the roughest parts in Miami. You'd forget to send a letter too if you were about to be beaten or gang raped.
Spike- Hes the only one who didn't pass out that evening.
Anything else that can't be explained is because it happens in the story and whatever it is that happened happens or will happen will be explained other than that I don't know what to tell you. So have some humanized shrugging pinkie pie.
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♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
whenever ed calls alison stiletto is he referring to the billy joel song?
94190 Its just a name he started calling her one day after learning shes a black belt and it just stuck.
I just thought it was a good enough reason to get Ed's ass kicked by Alison for being a smarass. What story would this be if the girl best friend didn't beat up on the guy?
cant wait for the conversation with celestia... its gunna be goooooood. this story deserves at least a 4.5 so im going to give it 5 stars to boost its rating... cause i like
cant wait for the conversation with celestia... its gunna be goooooood. this story deserves at least a 4.5 so im going to give it 5 stars to boost its rating... cause i like
Will the others of the Mane6 join them soon?
94261 Dunno ask them.
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94249 ponysquare.com/file/pic/poll/2011/11/cde5c8cb630e955f8e0719ad7661cab7.png
A computer?
Sure as buck didn't see that one coming 
Gotta love technology
-Glassed
95420 Thats the science of magic.
Ponies with super technology!!!! ooohhhhh!!!
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
Can't wait to see more! the tranny jokes we're hilarious!
trannys... i hope we see some trollestia in the next chapter......
In the back of my mind im getting the nagging feeling that the FBI or some government agency is going to try to kidnap them.....
QUICKLY WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER DAMMIT. YOU'RE AWESOME.
99737>>100224>>100294
It comments like these that make it all worth it. Thank you guys I really appreciate the support.
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I like, continue.
101868 Count on it Broski.
More
104061 Lol man of few words. I admire this.
I just love this story. I don't understand EVERYTHING about the cars, but I'm able to follow it anyways.
BTW, what's with the description of the human forms of the newly arrived... or lack thereof? I can live without it, but why?
Oh yeah!
104061 You sir, have a BADASS NAME!
-Glassed
104161
104161 All good things to those who wait. And considering the pace I've been getting these out well ja tu sabes.
gentlemen
MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Like this story. More is needed
big macintosh gets all the bitches.
105459 When he forgets to take off his sawg.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I never directly tracked the story, sooooo many chapters to read.
LETS DO THIS
106358 I knew there was a reason I wasn't getting comments from you.
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