Get a fav and a thumb.

Edit: FIRST. Sorry, but it's my first first.

Question, do you want harsh critic or friend? Also, I saved a copy of your chap and I'm revamping it.

I am intrigued. I shall thumb up and fav

only two errors i have seen which is fairly impressive.

“Hi! I’m Cadence!” and when Chrysalis was able to see Cadence, she blushed as she saw the pretty girl in front of her extending her hand to shake and help her up.

“Um…Hi, my name’s…Chrysalis” she said reaching up to shake her hand, not knowing that fate would have these two stay with each other forever.

aren't they supposed to be 'hoof'?

“Apparently things have been bad in Noraak Thu’m, so many of them fled to Equestria”  the stated as she served breakfast to her husband and daughter.

I think you might of put 'the' instead of 'he' :3

That is all for now and I anticipate more chapters

Actually i was just looking for that shipping about a week ago^^

interesting... i'll read later

you get a fav

i with hold my thumb till after the first kiss but before saint Patrick blows a fuse about them being together

edit: a screw it have the thumb

this is really well writen so far

and didn't see any grammical errors

>>12636941263694 I take it you didn't see the human tag?

Missing a few periods, and the paragraphs need spacing. Apart from that, it looks like different characters with pony names stuck to them, but I can't really complain right now since its AU. I'll just have to wait and see.

so many feels

Hello there, can you answer my last comment?

>>13048831304883

S-Sorry about that, I've been very busy lately since I work nights, um...let's go with friendly

>>13051451305145

No problem, and here goes.

It's a good story concept, one of which is severly under-rated and unused, and you've taken a rather nice spin on the events. It does hurt me to see that you're doing the swap of POV's, where you speak in third person with everyon's thoughts being brought to the for-front. This makes it hard to decipher who's thinking or saying what, and has made many good stories fail. It's not something that is inherently bad, just  something that I personally don't like. If you don't mind, I'm making a re draft of your first chapter with it only following Chrysalis's POV. I don't mean to intrude, but if I gave you the link to it on google docs and allowed you access, would you mind reading it and seeing my problems?

>>13063151306315

Sure o.o I would mind at all ^^ Send a link whenever ^^

>>13045111304511

(╯°□° ) ╯︵ (Human tag)

God I'm stupid!

edit: just began the reading of the second chapter and I came across this:

“I’m fine really! I just…met a new friend today. Her name is Cadence, and is a really nice pony!” she said with a smile.

“A pony? My lady you must be careful around ponies! They aren’t exactly…accepting of us nowadays” she warned her.

Human tag you say? x3

>>13134931313493

It's just to differentiate one from the other ^^'

>>13134931313493>>13141461314146

Yes, human tag.

Cadence and Chrysalis as childhood friends? This is new.

Oh man... I forgot what is meant to feel compassion... Wait. Compassion? AHHH! IT BURNS!!!!!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! T-T

SHIT JUST GOT REAL and celestia good job

Glad to see you're back and working on the story again!

Don't let it happen again if you value your life...

Joking!

Maybe...

That ending gave me a case of the d'awwws.

Also, Trollestia is bestia

couldnt stop laughing at celestia

“Hot lesbian sex is hot lesbian sex” great end to a great story

So now write the "Hot lesbian sex" Extra-clop-Chapter, OK?^^