The ponies have had it with Discord's pranks, and when they all wish he no longer has his magic, under unexpected circumstances, it comes true. It's a relieving occasion for the ponies--up until Discord falls deathly ill. Ridden with grief at their selfish wish, the ponies venture off on a small journey to save Discord's life, and recover the draconequus's magic from the beast that's keeping it hostage. The clock is ticking, and through their small journey, they learn that the price of chaos was nothing to pay in comparison to losing someone they love.
Based off the events of "Broken Spirit", and you must at least understand the plot to understand this fic.
Chapters (1)
Haha, read the first fic to understand this one.
That's not what Discord would have wanted.
Well Cryssy, ya done it again! Pretty much an insta-fav
)
This was a lovely little side story- the Fauth was a great shout to Gaelic mythology and was a good way for Discord to actually lose his magic.
I can see why you were raving on about this story so much
(Sorry, I'm terrible at reviews
Excellent
1260419 "Testing The Boundaries" or "Broken Spirit"
You know, I surprised at how accurate to the show this.
I mean... they didn't even send a letter to Celestia and tell her that Discord was sick, would have solved all the problems. She could have just teleported to Ponyville, gave Discord a little bit of his magic so he wouldn't die, then go to the Everfree to take out the fuath and not let her innocent little ponies kill something.
Yep... 100% like the show, never taking the easy way out.
But in all seriousness good story. Just another example that Chaos is the 7th Element of Harmony.
Well, that was different.
I liked it. Interesting concept, though it took me awhile to fathom the "Discord is their pet, now" thing. I kept reading.
My reactions:
Another great fic! Though it's a bit of a turn off for readers when is says "Mane 6" in the story, so i suggest not starting out with it.
YES!
I love it! LOVE IT.
1260573
I refuse to go into this fic with prior Knowledge, when the time comes I'll read this first and the rest in reverse.
I guess I'll give it my best to give this a review, or as good a one as I can offer.
The pacing for the first half of the story up until Discord's collapse felt perfect. The pranks were more and more severe until it reached the boiling point for all the others, so by the time they all wished he was powerless it felt appropriate. The characters are given faithful personalities to the show, and they all get their fair share of screen time. And it was nice when Discord just leaves his counter-arguments against Fluttershy for angry muttering instead of having it turned into another big fight between them.
The part referencing Breaking Point came off as a little too expository, and a bit redundant since the paragraph is immediately followed by Fluttershy saying the same thing but in a much more concise manner that keeps the flow of the conversation going unhindered.
The second half was a bit lacking in comparison to the first. Zecora came off as pretty lifeless, and when her only purpose was to give the girls a bottle to hold magic, something that I feel Twilight would have thought of before hand, it may have been better to leave her out entirely and have Twilight have a bottle from the start. True, Zecora also creates the opportunity for the girls to admit that Discord is their friend, but when the reader already knows that by their thoughts and actions, saying it out loud doesn't create any more profound meaning. I like Zecora, but if the scenes surrounding her were removed from the story, it would have only improved it.
I do enjoy it when you create your own versions of mythological creatures, the fuath in this case. I actually had to look up what a fuath is when I was done with the story. It makes the story seem fuller when you expand on the show's universe rather than just using the pieces we're given. The fight against the beastie felt short, and a little rushed. And while I can imagine that it would be jarring for the readers to go on for too long reading about our Crayola ponies ruthlessly murdering a living creature, the haste in it made it feel less that the time to save Discord was running out and feel more like the author was trying to get the scene over with soon.
The reunion was cute, if a bit melodramatic with the ponies all curling up on his dead body. We all knew it would be okay, but the resolution gave a small nice feeling.
In the technical sense, the writing and style felt on par with your usual work. That's not a bad thing by any means, and you obviously shouldn't try to go out of your narrative voice because you've created a truly excellent one to read. But it didn't seem exceptionally greater than anything else you've written.
1260807 He's more Fluttershy's "kid" XD
I haven't read any of your other works, and this may have affected how I read this. I personally believe that the second and third to last scenes were awkward, and that the ponies shouldn't have had to kill the fuath.
I basically can't see this coming out of the MLP world as I know it.
That said, it was an excellent premise that kept me engaged the entire time. Not to mention your grammar was excellent (compared to many other "writers" that grace this website) and I enjoyed the story.
Keep writing.
1262614 Oh dear. XD You can't read this without reading "Broken Spirit" first, so that's why the relationship and everything is completely...uh, not understandable.
But thank you! I have an editor (but he's busy), but I strive to use the best grammar I can.
When the Dessert started dancing I played the Kirby "stage complete" song.
1265040 I love you.
1265080
Here you go
...Wait...wut?
1265616 I meant because that was so perfect XD The whole Kirby thing I mean
I've read broken spirit on FF and loved it, and i love this...hm i might read broken spirit again here on FiMfiction...
1267687 I still need to go back and edit it for typos and such. Thanks BTW c:
I'm about two weeks late, but...
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I'm probably really late... Oh well.
This fic was amazing.
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Honestly, I'm glad I followed you. Another jolly good show!
OH MY GOD I CRIED.
And I got some of those lovely references quickly and laughed not going to lie.
But seriously you broke my heart during this... Now if only this was a real new Discord episode -w-
Oh, the feels. Flutters almost killed me with how sad she was ;~;
I've read billions of fanfictions with my favorite characters dying, from Pinkie Pie to the guy of my dreams in Skyrim, and I haven't cried.
(maybe a little bit with Pinkie)
But I've never openly sobbed in front of my family. I guess only Discord can really make me cry
Wow... Just... Wow.
...
HOW COME THESE STORIES ARE NOT CANON? THESE ARE THE BEST DISCORD STORIES IN THE HISTORY OF THE OMNIVERSE!!!
Well...You said, you'd be happy if everyone who reads this comments on this story (even if it comes two years to late), so...hmmm...well...how do I put it? Well...
THIS WAS FUCKING AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!