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PresentPerfect

Joined September 2011
508 followers

Writer, EQD pre-reader, RCL co-curator, fic reader, reviewer. (List of stories reviewed.)

Stories (42)

  • Dinky's First Kill
    Like every little filly, Dinky loves everypony and everything... except spiders.

    3,649 words · 5,813 views · 510 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Dance 'Til We're High
    Twilight looks for love at the Winter's Eve Ball. What she finds is like nothing she expected.
    12,494 words · 10,796 views · 757 likes · 18 dislikes
  • Whisk
    A colt and his fathers move to Ponyville to start a new life.
    13,364 words · 1,727 views · 107 likes · 1 dislikes
  • A Lovely Apology
    Spitfire decides to make up for an embarrassing mistake by inviting Filthy Rich out for a night on the town.
    6,802 words · 1,660 views · 132 likes · 2 dislikes
  • ACT OF WILL
    3,001 words · 3,087 views · 149 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Epic Unicorn History: The Beards of Harmony
    30,755 words · 2,088 views · 219 likes · 6 dislikes
  • The Sun Shines Brightest at Night
    6,108 words · 870 views · 87 likes · 1 dislikes
  • The Elements of Awesomery
    29,826 words · 3,268 views · 161 likes · 5 dislikes
  • Treehouse
    1,988 words · 1,191 views · 100 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Branch Management
    6,633 words · 976 views · 89 likes · 2 dislikes

Blog Posts (547)


A mysterious machine appears in Ponyville. At first, it's a curiosity. After its purpose is discovered, however, it quickly becomes a menace and Twilight must figure out a way to destroy it before peaceful Ponyville is torn apart at the seams.

A crossover with Machine of Death intended for readers unfamiliar with the novel.

Published on EQD September 15, 2012. Cover art rendered by Alexstrazsa.

First Published
10th Sep 2012
Last Modified
10th Sep 2012

Comments ( 76 )

#1 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

*providesblood sample*

death by SnuSnu.


huh? wait.. what does that mean.. ohmygodno aaaahhhh!!!!!

#2 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

Hmm... Well it tells them how they die, it doesn't cause premature death, right? So maybe not so bad. OK, I'll read it.

#3 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

I assume Twilight's and Celestia's strips read "Act of Will" just based on the story title, but I was wondering what others' take on their fates was. Or is it clearer if you read the original story?

#4 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

interesting...

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#5 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1254548

You're correct about the first part, not sure what you mean about the second. Takes on their fates?

#6 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1254790

As in what they thought the strips said. Figured I might have missed something by not reading the original story

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#7 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1254829

Well, the 'original story' is actually a collection of short stories.

And the reactions are varied. I go into some of them in the text. That's kind of the whole point, actually.

#8 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

Good stuff. Written in a Mary Shelly/Bram Stoker style fitting of the subject matter.

#9 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

“ACT OF WILL"?

Do you actually have an explanation in your own mind as to what this means, or is it supposed to be vague but without true meaning?

Either way, this was great! It's time for me to look up the original stories, because this is such a great concept. Awesome job here! :twilightsmile:

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#10 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1255296

There's a meaning behind it. Just think about what it pertains to. :)

#11 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1255654

Okay, I do understand what you're getting at, I think...

...But I prefer to think of it as, say, Twilight willfully acts to save a town of ponies in a dragon attack or something. :scootangel:

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#12 · 98w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>1255714

Machine predictions are finicky things. That's not what I intended, but I like the interpretation. :)

#13 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1255746

Your interpretation does sound like a very Celestia-ish thing to do, if you imagined a future where ponies are extinct and Celestia (and Luna, maybe) are the only ones left. But the way I personally interpret Twilight's personality...I just can't see it happening. So instead I'm going to say that they both got the same slip of paper, but they refer to very different deaths.

By the way, just bought the anthology for my Kindle. Thanks for introducing me to it!

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#14 · 98w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1255791

A benefit to writing crossovers. :)

Ezn
#15 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

Dat cover image.

Nicely improved from when I checked it out on /fic/. Very cool stuff, PP -- I'll admit to liking this story more than one or two of the ones in the original collection.

I'm a Dinosaur Comics reader and unsuccessfully tried to write something for the second volume when submissions were open last year, so props for succeeding at writing another take on the concept. MLP certainly gives it an interesting flavour.

#16 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

I haven't even started yet, but seriously, thank the lords of Kobol that someone gets that indents and paragraph spaces do not mix...

Back later!

*reads*

Right!

PP, that, was legendary. Sure, I get that the style may have been taken from other similar stories using the premise, but it's rare that I find short stories on here that actually achieve so much with so little. If I were to hold up an example of how to do a short story, this would be it as of today.

It's positively dripping with emotion, it's concise, it conjures vivid imagery. It gives the reader a sense of knowing what's going on (a much needed sense of attachment all too often missing from MLP fics), without them actually knowing anything truly relevant. It adds mystery, without the reader feeling cheated when it isn't resolved. It carries tension sublimely while never explaining a damn thing. And, of course, it carries an underlying observation on a very real issue of perceiving the value of life and death.

If I knew the alt-code for those little starts, I'd give you six on the spot.

Also, I hate you for knowing someone who does pony art. C'est la vie.

-Scott

P.S. You're getting a blog-post for this one PP!

#17 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

Very well done and effective. I think that "ACT OF WILL" is one of the few things that I'd accept for a cause of Celestia's death, and it creates a lot of dramatic tension by foreshadowing an ominous  future. That it matches Twilight's own is even more tantalizing.

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#18 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1263434

This comment means a lot. I figure most people are not going to know about MoD in the first place. And yes, not all the actual stories are created equal. (In truth, I have not even gotten halfway through the first book. I wonder if I ever shall...)

>>1263454

Alex is awesome. :D He whipped this up for me in like an hour and a half, based off the actual cover art for MoD. (To wit, the only parts of the original left are the floor/skyline/sky, the X and the manhole.)

Most people tend to give out moustaches here, I've noticed. :B :moustache:

Wait, blog? :O Wut? Link me. If you've got a blog, I should know!

And thank you! :D

>>1264190

You've got the (intended) meaning down! :)

#19 · 98w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1266379 If there is one thing I definitely can't be accused of, it's being anything like 'most people'.  And no, just a regular blog post on here, i'm afraid. I don't think I'd have enough to say to run a real blog! Well, not enough that anyone would want to listen to anyway...

Maybe when i actually finish my story one day and actually start writing something else, it might become more worthwhile.

#20 · 97w, 6d ago · · ·

A wonderfully depressing story! Thank you for bringing Machine of Death to my attention: it seems very interesting!

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#21 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1276754

You're quite welcome!

#22 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

Zero feels, zero creepy feelings. Letters... why?

Bleh.

Loved the concept, but the execution did pretty much nothing for me. Sorry, Pres.

#23 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1280102

If you're interested in other stories with the same concept except told with humans: Link to Machine of Death pdf ebook

It's an actual book, it's free, and it is fantastic.

#24 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1254425 You shall be snu-snued by the most beautiful women. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again.

#25 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1255654 They were killed by some guy named William?

#26 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

Now I want to read the book...

#27 · 97w, 5d ago · · ·

I got MoD on my kindle when it first came out, but I burnt myself out trying to read all those stories at once. This makes me want to go back to the book and read the rest. Or maybe even try my hand at a MoD story (though that's honestly unlikely).

I very much enjoyed the story and thought it was well executed.

As for Celestia and Twilight, my thought would be that they actually both have the same kind of death, and the machine isn't using it's... unique charm in this instance. It makes sense that imortal Celestia wouldn't die so much as she would simply choose to not live anymore (though the distinction is probably lost on the MoD, it is just a machine after all). As for our purple friend, Twilight-as-Celestia's-successor is a common enough trope that I'm guessing the same can be said of her.

#28 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1283560

That's kind of what I'd assumed as well. That 'ACT OF WILL' means it was either a form of suicide, or murder from a Higher Cause (IE, the Fausticorn/Scriptwriters).

Either that, or the minotaurs are a bigger menace than first thought.

#29 · 97w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Act of will...Action taken on purpose...Twilight and Celestia's death cards..

....Suicide? :rainbowhuh:

#30 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

I really wish I had heard of MoD before this, seems interesting.

Anyway, finally, a fic that's just the kind of fic I like! Short, concise, suspenseful, focusing on the emotions and reactions of characters in stressful and terrible situations, while giving just enough of a resolution so one doesn't feel cheated, while not so much that nothing at all is left to think about. Good job!

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#31 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1284487

Wow, thank you! This is precisely the sort of reaction I'd hoped for! :D

#32 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

*tests machine, gets slip of paper*  404...

:trollestia:

#33 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

I pretty much screamed in delight when I realized that this was about the Machine of Death. And I must say-- had this been one of those included in the anthology, it would have been one of the better ones. Very well done.

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#34 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1284982

Man, I'm so glad this is pulling folks out of the woodwork who actually know about MoD. :D

#35 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

I've actually started reading MoD because of this. It does not disappoint.

#36 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

Honestly, it rustled my jimmies. :fluttershyouch: It was so... freaky.

Very emotional and tense. I'm not necessarily the open ended type of guy, but this one got me thinking... real disturbing things. Definitely. :pinkiecrazy:

I love it. You did a good job.

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#37 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1285636

Thank you. These are all good feelings to have. :3 At least, from where I'm standing.

#38 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

Looks at linked PDF...

==========================================

[HIV INFECTION FROM MACHINE OF DEATH NEEDLE]

"Well," I thought, "that sucks"

==========================================

^ BEST STORY EVER!!! :rainbowlaugh::facehoof::trollestia:

You did a good job writing this. My jimmies... Dear Luna, they have been rustled!

#39 · 97w, 4d ago · 2 · 1 ·

I think we are all missing the point.  Twilight's card obviously means that she will be killed by Iron Will when he returns for revenge

#40 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

Does Ryan North know about this?

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#41 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1287846

Do any crossover media or other IP creators ever know about fanfiction?

#42 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1287893

Whups, I meant that like 'You should tell him about this, he seems like a cool guy who'd get a kick out of it', instead of 'I must inform him that someone has been STEALING HIS IDEAS'.

#43 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

You've got me downloading the original and ordering the book online. Congratultions.

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#44 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1287935

Well if anything, he can be happy with how many people have gotten interested in the book since I

>>1288167

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE :D

#45 · 97w, 4d ago · · ·

very thrilling. i found out about machine of death through this. I've been listening to the audiobook/podcast, and reading the .PDF form their website. needless to say, i'm hooked. i'm a junkie of psychological thrillers and this pushes all my buttons in just the right way. i'm probably going to buy the book as soon as i get some money. please, make more of these. or, if at all possible, maybe hold a pony MoD spin-off competition? i'd love to participate in something like that. if you do plan something like that, please let me know, you'll be making a stupid fat kid really happy.

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#46 · 97w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1289695

I've really got no desire to make more, expand this, or write sequels. I wanted an MLP/MoD crossover, so I made it, end of story.

#47 · 97w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1290712

i see. it's a shame, this is a really good story, and i'd love to see more from it. maybe i'll make my own crossover someday, and be called a an un-creative ripoff artist. lol :P

#48 · 97w, 2d ago · · ·

Oh, curse you and your ambiguity. I couldn't figure out what Twilight's slip said until I realized it (probably) is the title, and I went and looked up "act of will" to find out what it meant and it turns out to be the most vague idiom I could imagine.

The first thing it brought to mind though was suicide, since I think I'd heard the idiom used in that context, and if an act of will is an intentional action, then it would mean death would have to be intentional.

In any case, overanalysis aside, I loved this. Maybe I'll go and get Machine of Death now.

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#50 · 97w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1298996

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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