Sci-fi AU. Twilight Sparkle has lived on the Cantalot Space Station, capital of the Solar Empire, all her life. But can she adapt and make friends when her teacher, Queen Celestia, sends her away to be the new science officer of the spaceship Ponyville on its voyage to explore the galaxy for much needed resources for the war against the Confederacy of Species?
Additional background information can be found within the Data Files Collections. If you wish to see a part of the universe explained, let me know and I'll throw in a data file.
'Dark' tag refers to the war, which appears mainly as a background event. Other, dark elements may appear in later chapters.
Whilst I assembled the image (in Inkscape), the vectors used were created by Lazy-Joe and Emkay-MLP.
Recently undergone a complete rewrite.
TV Tropes page
Disclaimer—All orginal ideas are mine. All copied ideas are not mine. Work out which is which yourselves.
Rarity as the Boss Redshirt? Well, the way she was kicking Changeling flank in the wedding two-parter, she definately potentially has the skills. That said, I probably would have made Derpy the comms officer (mailmare, after all). Given that the Ponyville is an explorer, I don't think it's credible to have Twilight as the only science officer so it might have been a good idea to have a few OCs as her subordiantes. Maybe they could be non-Fleet civilian scientists so Twilight can have endless 'fun' keeping them in line. As Twilight is a naval officer, she'll proabably also have a military speciality - maybe reconnaissance sensor data interpretation or maybe electronic warfare and countermeasures. Also Fluttershy would be as far from the "grumpy ship's surgeon" stereotype as you could get.
Maybe pegasi wear space-suits designed to allow them to 'fly' in space, turning them into kind of biological starfighters.
Overall, it's an interesting idea that's a bit hard to assess at the point. I'll keep reading and see what comes up. You'll have to explain the Ponyville's relatively small crew at some point. Maybe it's a victim of fleet politics - several in the admiralty are suspicious of a stardrive developed by an Earth Pony team and others consider it's mission a fool's erand. Consequently, it has a very inexperienced and, frankly, far too small crew as the Brass won't waste any more resources on the project. Celestia, being smarter, assigned Twilight to the crew because she knows the mission is vital and wants to see it succeed.
Some ideas for the future: Luna remained in the Equestrian system along with some Luddite groups from all nations. The New Lunar Republic has settled in underground cities on various rocky worlds in the Home System and beyond with Equestria's moon, Selene, as their capital. Luna has gone a bit... peculiar... over the centuries; maybe even turned into a kind of slightly less psychotic Nightmare Moon. The NLR isn't automatically a threat but there are lots of old grievances and ideological differences that leaves the two factions butting heads and playing astropolitical chess with each other over resources and territory. Consider them the Romulans to the SE's Federation.
Naturally the Confederacy will be the equivalent of the Seperatists from The Clone Wars - A disperate bunch of squabbling and mutually-distrustful factions really only bound together by their suspicion of Celestia (which is developing towards pathalogical hatred) and their unnamed and mysterious charismatic leader (who will turn out to be Discord).
Okay, got it.
Of course a completely space-based civilisation has its own problems including instituationalised and habitualised agoraphobia. The Worlds have Walls, after all and the horror a second-year cadet feels on their first visit to a planet's surface for Away Team training often determines whether they have a future in the fleet or will simply be shifted sideways to the sedenentary, unspectacular and generally poorly-recognised base echelons on one of the mighty Worldships ("CEILING! THERE'S NO CEILING!!! NOOO!!!").
A second advantage of spherical spaceships is this is the optimum shape for heat absorbtion and waste heat dispersal. It is also a naturally very strong shape against concussive and compressive force. Given the strong natural world and abstract basis of Equestrian art and science, simple geometric shapes would probably be also naturally favoured over more complex shapes.
1262894 thanks for the feedback.
When I got to designing Rarity my line of thought was "she likes clothes. What does the military need clothes for? Body armour!" and now she's Worf.
Derpy is the helmsman (helmspony?) because of her clumsiness whilst pinkie is communications so that she can spam every ship in the galaxy with party invites. It made sense in my head when I was allocating crew positions.
I agree on the point of twilight needing subordinates, but I was tired of introducing characters by that point. I might go back and throw a few cadets her way.
As for Twilights speciality, at the moment she is an arcanophysicist- she's essentially magic Einstien. She jumped straight from cadets to officer, so she hasn't had a chance to develop a military speciality yet, but I shall make sure to give her something along those lines. Probably sensors.
Edit- and don't worry about the NLR, the confederacy, or discord (or a certain changeling queen), got it all worked out in my head. It's the in between bits that's got me scrambling for ideas. As for the smaller crew, it was originally 200, but I got lazy and cut it to 23 (mane six, cmc, big mac & derpy, spike, nurse angel (there's your grumpy medic!) and 10 cadets.) it's a small ship because it's a shakedown cruise to make sure the engine works properly. They drift off into space for a year, explore some 'safe' systems, come back, get promotions and extra crew.
1262914 yay people can understand the background material. Although I completely missed the points about the other benefits of a spherical spaceship (heat management, shape strength etc.). Got to keep that in mind.
Okay, quick edit- Twilight now has a couple of cadets to boss around- Lyra and Bon-Bon. They haven't popped up yet, but they will. This leaves 8 crew positions that need filling.
1. What of Luna?
2. What of the humans there? Do the ponies stumble across Earth perhaps? Or do the humans have spaceflight now?
3. I love this fic now! It's really great! Just so good!
1278452
1. Who is "Luna"?
2. Honestly, I don't know yet. I am on the fence on whether or not I should introduce humans. I could, but what would it add to the story, would I be able to weave it into the plot, or would it just be a gimmick thrown in to bump up the word count? So humans might appear, if I can think up of a decent reason that impacts upon the story.
3. Thank you! Have a sexy Rarity cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rsexy.png
"Twilight's Voyage". Not "Twilights". Just saying, a typo right in the title is incredibly off-putting
1293753 sorry. I'll go fix that. Stupid dyspraxia grumblegrumble...
Nuts, I have to redo the damn page image now. Bah, I'll sort it in the morning. Sleep now
cdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-rasleep.png
Only one thing to do
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maapcaSB1y1qzaxefo1_500.jpg
lolomgwtfbbq.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/darth-vader-shut-up-and-take-my-money.jpeg
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/188/d/2/shut_up_and_take_my_money_by_mcsadat-d56cn0o.jpg
1307360 with pleasure.
Don't they need someone to fill in as security? I mean space is a big place and the possibility of pirates is present.
Also, pairings. What are your thoughts on this?
1331200 Rarity plays security/tactical and she is highly compatent at it. the entire navy (including merchant ships) were militarised after pirate activity rose.
as for pairings, what, like shipping? not in this story i'm afraid.
1331217
Whoops, didn't notice that. Guess that's what I get for not sleeping.
okay, Chapter 1 has been rewriten and I have a plan for the next 2-3 chapters. Hiatus has ended, and you get a free data file.
List of major changes:
-The ponyville is a much larger and more experianced ship, with a crew of 200, all with prior experiance working on the ship. more work for me, but more believeable.
-Derpy is no longer the helmspony, but is in fact the 1000 year old AI of the ship.
-Lyra, Bonbon, Carrot Top and The Great and Powerful Trixie all work as scientists on the ship. Twilight is their direct superior (much to Trixie's annoyance).
also, in data files- collection 2 (which is unfortuantly very short, but I promise to make up for it) is a super secret data file that will blow your mind and set the sceen for the next couple of chapters. if you find it you get a derpy
Heh. Nice transcript. I wonder how long the good Commander had to be kept in the sickbay after that one!
"Their awfully young," Twilight said, a hint of concern in her voice.
That should be they're as you are using the contraction of they are. Just so you know.
I was kind of hoping Pinkie would be chief engineer but oh well still should be fun.
Cmon Scotty may have been unable to change the laws of physics but we know that does not apply to Pinkie!
1433167
great, thanks cant belive i missed that one.
i had a bit of difficulty placing pinkie, but then i remebered her singing party invite in party of one, which i loved, so i thought she could be comunications so she can send everyone (and i mean everyone) party invites.
1433164
a long long while.
heck, the poor guy is still undergoing therapy.
And here I thought this story died. Been a bit hasn't it?
1434592
Yeah, sorry. I don't really have much of an update schedule, plus I have 3 other stories on the go, at least 2 more ideas in my head I want to work on and a dissertation to write. This is also on top of reading as much as I possibly can, dealing with Internet addiction and insomnia (it is currently 3 am!).
It's like I sit down to write something, and four hours later I am still trawling the web looking at unrelated stuff.
So yeah, sorry.
Edit- feel free to nag me about it. I will always answer pm's and comments.
So ponies are now quarians nice
1437750
Pretty much, except they stopped migrating 750 ish years ago and set up stationary, citadel/omega scale space stations for themselves.
It comes from my own bafflement that any spacefaring species would wish to live on a planet- those things are dangerous. Just ask the dinosaurs. Water, rock and metal can all be extracted from asteroids, dwarf planets and the like, food can be grown in specially built ships and hydrolabs. Sure space is a bit tight, but the same can be said for any mega city, which are quite prominat in spacefaring societies- and that's without considering the hive worlds of the 40k universe and other similar settings.
Also, you don't have to worry about climate change, environmental pollution and the like.
1437805 Truth
So since the ponies use sphear ships do they have anything like this
gineistatic.com/w/images/9/9a/Iserlohn_Fortress.jpg
cookie for anyone who gets this with me tell you
1439205
the only thing i think it could be is something from evangelion, but other than that, no idea.
1439376 http://gineipaedia.com/wiki/Iserlohn_Fortress
Iserlohn Fortress from Legends of Galatic Heroes
From the second paragraph on the wiki:
Or what the Death Star wants to be when it grows up
1439624
well, I can honestly say that the ponies dont have anything like that.
1439865 *snaps fingers* well damn
I'm assuming then that their largest construct is their home sphear
Okay, chapter 2 is finaly up. Hope you like it. Its only 2000 words, and future updates will propably be of a similar size, sorry. Coming soonish is a data file on AI's, teleportariums and teleporting and HornPower. And maybe a chapter 3 spoiler or two.
For some reason, I can hear Trixie saying: "Cap'n, the Great and Powerful Trixie cannae change the laws of magic!"
Poor Fluttershy, though! At least she has Angel to back her up or the crew would be running rough-shod over her! In any case, the engines are out and they are in an unknown sector of space. Well, at least things can't get any...
WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR CULTURE WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE OURS. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
... worse... What was that? Oh... probably nothing important.
In any case I think that the real adventure, the voyage home, is going to start and it is going to be a lot harder if the new propulsion system doesn't work as well as advertised.
1467636
What's annoying is that I haven't worked out how to get them home yet. The original idea was that they would be sucked through a Farscape style wormhole, and thenTwilight would have to work out how to replicate it. However, that idea didn't work out whilst I was writing it.Edit-
Damn, wish I had thought of that.
Congrats on the feature box!
2670189
Thanks.
Even though I already thanked you over skype. But whatever.
2670194
Pfff. We can't have enough telling each other things over different mediums of communication.
In fact, I might just PM you with the exact same congratulations.
2670197
And because I'm British, I'll have to reply to it. Again.
2670199
What has being British got to do with it?
2670205
Someone speaks to me, I have to reply. It's polite to the point of nonsensibliity, ergo it's a british thing.
Nice, it's like MLP mixed with Mass Effect, without being a direct crossover. Some typos here and there, so you might want to get a pre-reader, but nothing that seriously detracts from the story.
Interesting that this version of Celestia chose to 'Queen it up'. SOMEBODY certainly needs to avert that silly 'Queens are evil' stereotype, and I suppose it makes sense that it takes a British writer to do it.
I also certainly didn't expect Rarity to be the Security officer. Considering just how incongruous it is, she must be a total badass when the going gets rough. As long as she doesn't have to face the Plaid Pirates of Pelargo Phi.
Anyway, you've certainly caught my interest, so I'll be looking forward to seeing what you do with this.
2670568
I actually started writing this before I got into the mass effect series, although the rewrites are a lot more recent.
And yeah, I don't get the whole Queens are evil sort of thing.
As for Rarity the security officer, when I was assaging roles I wanted to throw them into areas that people wouldn't innitally think off. I did the same thing with Dash as the captain.
As for Plaid Pirates, who knows?
2670585 Oh, I don't know, I can actually picture Rainbow Dash as being sort of a cross between Mass Effect's Joker (in terms of piloting skill) and Firefly's Malcolm Reynolds.
2670614
Yeah, thinking about it, as long as she had someone more level headed (like Applejack) backing her up, she could make for a pretty decent captain. A little agressive, but that is what you need AJ for.
Well, it was ... ok? I love the idea but I think it's missing a certain je ne sais quoi ... a ... well, that phrase is used for a reason.
It feels too FAST! There's a great deal of opportunities for Twilight to sound off on things. How clean is the ship vs. Canterlot? How loud? How does it smell? Emphasize how strange it all is to Twilight. This is the first time she's been out of the palace area in how long? Also, she reacts to how large Ponyville is but she's on Canterlot which I think would be bigger - that speaks to me of her not knowing her own station very well (which is odd to me, as a cadet you'd think she'd have taken a shake-down cruise at least on a transport).
Ok, kids can be 'cadets' and all - that's weird but, hey, aliens (also British ships used to have kids in the 1800's) so ok - but what does Twilight think about kids in relation to her isolated lifestyle. Again, emphasize the strange here.
Actually, we're missing Twilight's reaction to a lot of this stuff. It's like AJ's showing her a massive slideshow of things and we're staring at that instead of Twi's face. We need both, in this case. The stuff AJ's showing off and Twilight's reaction. And when Twilight does react, it seems too fast, too quick and not ... Twilight enough (she may be an officer but she's still the panicky OCD mare we all know and love). I realize this is a military ship/culture and you're supposed to be able to react quickly to changing situations and all - but if I were in Twi's position, my head would be spinning so fast that I'd never manage to get all this straight. And I'm not even Twilight.
Chapter one is ok, I suppose. I might have taken the pre-diaspora stuff off into a prologue but I suppose it works. I'd have split chapter 2 into two full chapters myself, however, and added a TON more Twilight reactions. Also, maybe have her do some science stuff. What about the Teleportarium?
As it stands, I do like it - rare we see a non-crossover/blend ponies in space story - but it just feels a bit lacking. Sorry man.
2670883
That's fine. I guess I went a little overboard with the world building stuff, and forgot to do the characterisation stuff. Again.
Thanks for your thoughts, anyway. I really do appreciate them. Show's up what areas I struggle with.
And yeah, I totaly agree—we need more non-crossover, non-human Ponies in Space. There is a huge wealth of untapped potential out there.
Damn, this is really quite neat! I can't wait to see what's next! Now I do have a few questions about the world you have created. Did all of the races of the planet escape? Almost 1000 years in space! All other races hate ponies?(blaming the queen for making the sun to hot?/unable to control the moon? Anyway really neat!
2672961
Yes, all of the other races escaped, but split from Equestria because they blamed Celestia, forming the Confederacy of Species, whom the Solar Empire is currently at war with.
2673630
You have a talent sir at making worlds, I can actually picture ships in my head And the world around them.
2673696
Thank you! That means a lot to me!
This is a much better start than the previous version of this story. It sets up the story and the primary character nicely. We know why things are different and we know where we are and what's happening.
I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes! In more ways than one!
So, the intrepid voyagers set off across the heavens! With a crew like that, just keeping alive should be quite an achievement in its own right! What makes it worse is that the ship's AI is Derpy who is a type of AI outlawed because of the way it becomes unstable and breaks down (Rampancy, in other words). It's going to take all of everypony's skill to keep them alive.
Naturally, I have no doubt that the Ponyville's 'routine' mission will turn out to be something entirely other than routine. That's why Celestia, playing chess with her subjects as always, sent Twilight there. Somewhere out there, the New Lunar Republic awaits...
2674601
Just a point of clarification (because I'm not sure I made it clear), it's only the creation of AI's like Derpy that are Illegal. Using them is fine, up to a certain point.
And yeah, this mission goes of the rails almost immeditally.