• Published 9th Sep 2012
  • 7,026 Views, 2,698 Comments

Pony POV Series Season Six: Dark World/Shining Armor - Alex Warlorn



Twilight tries to remember herself after 1K years of chaos/Shining Armor awakes on his promotion day

  • ...
34
 2,698
 7,026

PreviousChapters Next
Episode 107: (Shining Armor) seinoP-Ponies

Pony POV Series Shining Armor Part 11
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Written By lz0291
seinoP-Ponies

It wasn't that I was displeased to see my parents. Far from it. After all, it was my birthday, and I had told them I'd try to drop by if I could find a minute if I was on duty. And I thought I had been until Brigadier-General Observant Audience decided to inform me I was not. Then tell me my parents had come to me.

My mother, being my mother, hugged me. My father just shook my hoof.

"Happy birthday, Son!"

"Mom, Dad, you really didn't have to do this..." I said, whilst my mother tried to hug me to death.

"Well, we missed your twenty-first when you were off keeping the peace. Twenty-five's a milestone, Son," Dad explained.

He didn't have to remind me about my sixteenth and why that had been 'missed'.

"Besides, we haven't had a chance to spend quality time with you or Twilight in ages. I know you're both grown ponies but you'll always be my babies." Mom said, as mothers are prone to frequently reminding their offspring.

"Well, I suppose, but..."

"Oh, did you have something planned with your friends? We won't intrude. Your father and I just want to at least have lunch as a family."

"Don't worry. We were planning on waiting for the weekend to celebrate my birthday anyway. So you're going to try drag Twilight away from studying?" I said as we began walking.

"Come on, Shining, of course she'll want to have lunch with her parents and her B.B.B.F.F. on his twenty-fifth birthday!" Dad said, in a hopeful, unconvinced tone.

"...Is there something else going on here, by the way?" I wondered.

"No, why'd you think that?" Dad said, but my mother seemed to be hesitant.

Words were not required to answer them. Only a certain type of look.

"Well, there sort of is," she eventually admitted.

I knew what was coming.

"Shining, you know every year, on birthdays... I try to read the stars...."

I sighed. She also read stars at Hearth's Warming, which wasn't that far off from my birthday.

"Come on, Mom, you know horoscopes can't be trusted! They've got, at best, a twenty-three percent success rate, and that's only if you don't account for the coincidence factor or how the results are open for interpretation..."

My mother had a talent for reading and observing the skies, but her talent was in astroNOMY, not astroLOGY. My father agreed with me, and to a point, so did Twilight. Without getting into a long discussion, most forms of divination are about as reliable as gut instinct. Combining the two is often especially disastrous. Does your gut feeling match your prediction? Then you stride forward boldly and shut your eyes to further evidence. Do the two contradict? Then you dither.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Obsessing over fate can create self-fulfilling prophecies. Binding you to it. Efforts to dodge certain fates just causes them to happen. Some ponies say the only way to control one's fate is to take life one choice at a time.)

Exactly...I'm sounding like Twiley, aren't I?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Kinda.)

...I'm on a soapbox, aren't I?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): A little one.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Must run in the family.)

Does this happen to mom too? I'll just move this thing out of the way...

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Don't worry about it, continue.)

Oh, right. Personally, I think you're better off ensuring that the evidence you base your decisions on is at least sixty percent reliable. If you have to choose between you gut or evidence... choose evidence. Never trust a horoscope over either your gut or the evidence. That's my rule.

Sadly, this wasn't MOM'S rule. For Mom had had SUCCESS with horoscopes in the past.

"For Twilight's birthday, the horoscope predicted she'd undergo a great change in her life. I figure that's her graduation. And then for yours this morning... Same prediction. How curious..."

"Probably means I'm getting promoted!"

Her eyes widened. "I... Shining, I... I got that same prediction for your uncle on HIS birthday. And he responded the exact same way you did."

My uncle had been promoted posthumously. I couldn't think of any wittier reply than: "Well, uh... I'll try to be careful."

"I know you must think I'm being silly, Shining, but... the horoscope told me I'd see precious things go far away from me, and I should cherish them while they're close..."

"Mom, I understand why you worry. But please don't -- I'll be careful."

She nodded. "Still, I'd really like it if you and Twilight could both try to be home for Hearth's Warming Dinner this year. It's been a long time since you were both there..."

"I'll do what I can, but you know why I work over Hearth's Warming usually. A lot of the troopers and officers have families much further away..."


The ring of a nice normal alarm clock woke me up. For a few seconds, I was disoriented, wondering how I'd been teleported from my parents' side to this ship. No creepy music this time.

That was the last time I'd really spent much time together with all of my family at once. Mom had actually been right about the great changes in life.

We'd set out from Columbia the night before. As we were in the midst of summertime in the northern hemisphere, Celestia had already raised the sun. My cabin faced west, but today, my porthole offered the rather unusual sight of the Airborne Aircraft Carrier URS Athena floating off half a kilometer away, like a giant flying whale. A whale accompanied by a school of dolphins . Dolphins that were loaded with gun decks and Griffins. I'm a bloody laureate with similes, aren't I?

I opened my door to find a puzzled crouching minotaur about to knock on my face.

"Ah, you're awake, Captain. I'm..."

"Petty Officer First Class Kryten, right?" I said with as much dignity as I could with a awkward minotaur's giant fist inches from my head.

"Yes, sir. I've got some messages for you. Letters and a request from the Princess that you and your Sergeant see her as soon as possible before breakfast. She has some things to discuss."

"Thank you, Petty Officer. Was there anything else?"

There wasn't. He handed the letters over (such strange and versatile appendages...) and stood up. His horns almost scraped the roof of the passageway: I could see why they had him change the bulbs.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Poor guy probably bangs his head a lot...)

Apparently, the most accident prone crewmember like that was the Chief Engineer, a Diamond Dog named Scottie.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): A Diamond Dog? What's it like having them as... ah... allies instead of enemies?)

Well, unless they're starving for food, Diamond Dogs are interested in one form of payment: gemstones. Gemstones of any kind. Not just PRECIOUS gems, mind you, but semiprecious and even costume jewelry will satisfy them. Mercenary Diamond Dogs are common. Assuming you have access to a steady supply of shiny rocks, Diamond Dogs can be a cheaper labor force compared to ponies. Very good assistants on rock farms... assuming they're honest dogs. They're happy to eat lower-quality food since, to them, it's actually higher-quality food. But if you win their loyalty, Diamond Dogs are just as devoted as their four-legged cousins. Scottie told me once that he considered us all part of his pack, and a Diamond Dog will die for his pack.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Pretty diverse crew. Were there any deer aboard?)

Two over on Enterprise but they were both Sika Deer. Third or fourth generation Equestrian. Both scientists, married to each other. Most Deer in Equestria live in Caledonia, so Deer in the Guard normally find themselves in Northern regiments. There are no Sika in the Hooviet Empire any more, though. They were persecuted and chased out during the days of the Tsars.

But anyway, I had a quick look at the letters. One postcard from my parents: Mom saying she and dad were on vacation, she begged me to write her back because she was... afraid she'd forget me? Weird. Anyway, another was a notification that the results of a report I'd expressed interest in were now available for request. We can't pre-order information that might be classified, instead if the results are in our clearance, we're told we can request a copy when it's published. Security.

Then a reminder that Master Chief Spartan and my Sergeants had agreed to allow the platoon to join in the Air Naval Cavalry's physical training in the morning, and finally a monthly Guard newsletter. No time to read it just now, though.

I soon fetched Thunderchild, and then had to go back the direction I'd came from because the rest of my troopers were cabined in the wrong end of the ship. We knocked, were told to enter, and then tried the door.

"It's locked, should we breach it?"

I sighed. "This isn't Guard Quest: Arrest Team, Thunderch-"

"You're in my spot, Sir."

"Oh, you son of a... "

Before I could threaten to kick him in the soul, the door unlocked and a sheepish-looking Minuette peeked out. "Sorry, forgot the door was locked..."

We went inside. Cadence was having her coat combed by Sunset.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Brushed.)

What?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): You comb a mane, you brush a coat.)

Next you'll tell me mares trim their fetlocks. Anyway...

"Good morning, Gentlecolts. I was wondering if you might be able to help me with an idea I had," Cadence said. "I've not ran any of them past Commander Shepard yet, but I'd like to use you as a sounding board first. First and foremost, I'm wanting to try and arrange for our crewmembers' birthdays to be recognized, with all of us away from our families. It's only fair we do something to thank them. So I was wondering if you could have somepony give Sunset a hoof with compiling a birthday calendar?"

"I have to admit. I like that idea. Can I ask what inspired it?"

"Sunset's birthday's next week, Captain," Twinkle Shine said as she polished the royal barding.

"I see. Well, I understand a few of the troopers have some experience with clerical work?" I suggested to Thunderchild.

"Yes, sir. Most young Pegasi who work in weather patrol wind up having to fetch files and maps, as well as helping make up the schedules. Probably anyone can help her out if they've done weather patrol work. We could always ask for a few volunteers once morning exercises start."

And Private Ranger would likely be among the volunteers.

"Volunteers sounds good, and if they're pegasi they can fly between the ships easier to check things out. And if we get it all sorted they can help her or one of the other girls ask everypony what they'd prefer, track down any we missed so far, you know."

Cadence didn't have to mention this meant the Guards would always be with Sunset.

"Your Highness, how BIG of a birthday celebration did you have in mind, may I ask?" Thunderchild asked.

"You just did," Minuette had that one covered.

"Well, we have an AWFULLY large crew. We could potentially be eating birthday cake every day! Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, I was thinking that the least I could do would be to wish them each a happy birthday in person and thank them for being with us. Maybe there could be invites to dinner with me and the captain of the relevant ship, or maybe a weekly shared-party for all the crewmates whose birthday fell within that week... plus their friends."

"Weekly parties seems preferable if they were kept small," I said.


One a week? JUST one a WEEK?! For all those ponies having birthdays near each other?! Well... I suppose when you're a vast military unit traveling the world on the taxpayers' bits, you can't exactly splurge on party supplies like I do. I can respect needing to be frugal. Pain in the flank for my cameos, though. Oh well, I guess I'll try stick to the important ones!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Thanks, Pinkie Pie.)

No problemo!


"Also, we should look into arranging tournaments or contests. We might try out games and pastimes from the places we visit. Also, some flotilla-wide things like talent shows, tennis, cards, chess, Five-a-side..."

The magic words.

"You and the hoofmaidens plus Garnet is five, then the rest of the squad and me is five... two teams already."

"Er, Captain..." Minuette tried to cut in.

"Sir..." Thunderchild also began.

But it was too late.

"Of course! I'm sure some ponies may wonder about a Princess playing hoofball, but it's fun. Maybe we could try get a flotilla team together, have friendly matches against other nations?" Mares and gentlecolts, my commanding officer.

"Seems diplomatic to me! And of course, it's a good form of additional physical training," I said.

Minuette and Thunderchild seemed to be sharing an apprehensive look.

"...You always get stuck in goal too, yeah?" Thunderchild said.

Minuette nodded.

"I told you, Minny, I'll try going in goal this time," Twinkle Shine said as the last bit of royal barding seemed polished.

"Anyway, next thing, I was wondering about setting up a flotilla-wide radio show. A few ponies from Enterprise mentioned it, and apparently we can pick up something similar from the Griffins..."

"We can?" Thunderchild cut in.

"Yes, but it's all be Griffin-style music. Griff Metal, lyrics about wars and stuff..." Sunset noted, now finished brushing the Princess.

"It's got its fans, even among ponies. Griff Metal aside, we could also rotate music from places we visit, get a bit more of a cultural exposure."

"...I'd have no objections, but we may need to be careful about which songs we play."

"In what way?" Cadence wondered.

"Well... I think the Captain's worried about some of the troopers might request inappropriately vulgar songs. Or, then again, we're a multi-species crew visiting a fair number of bigoted, racist nations. Some of the local ditties might be a bit... insulting and derogatory."

I smiled and nodded, even though what I'd ACTUALLY referred to was songs with ominous lyrics about ghosts, wolves, dogs, being watched, being hunted, and deer.

"Alright. Anyway, the last thing: I want to take a look around the ships."

I was puzzled. "But... You had a tour before we left."

"Yes, that was a GUIDED tour, though. I was just SHOWN rooms, and told trivia. I want to EXPLORE. Come on, it's something to do! It'll be over three days until we arrive in Zamunda, after all."

"...If Commander Shepard is okay with it, I am." I said.


Turned out, Shepard was fine with all of it. Ranger did indeed volunteer, as did Griffen. Cadence quietly approved: Sunset seemed a lot happier with Ranger around, and having a griffin along helped her feel even more secure going about the ship away from her Princess and friends.

I followed Cadence on her exploration of the Enterprise, and helped bring her ideas with the radio to fruition with the Navy crew. She'd planned to explore the other two Corvettes the next day, then Invincible last. Sunset would begin looking in the records the next day.

It was nice to finally be getting into a decent routine.

Wake about half-five, half an hour or so to get ready or deal with any quick morning things, get an hour or so physical training in -Cadence and the Hoofmaidens apparently just went to the ships small fitness room for half an hour or so, having found the trip to the park back in Columbia to be a bit above their own fitness grades. They should probably be glad we had mostly been drawn from a Medium Ground regiment, if we'd been a Light or Air regiment, they'd probably have fallen over with exhaustion.

I did some training with my shield spells too. Since a good number of the crew were unicorns like me, we had a special training room with special equipment for mages to buff up on their magic.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What training did you do?)

Why is that important?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): We need to compare some notes...)

Oh, okay.


I took a deep breath and put up as large a barrier as I could around me, about fifty hooves around me. Other unicorns fired beams at my shield. It took about a couple of hits before falling.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Wait wait, fifty hooves and a couple of hits? Shining, we KNOW you can do better than that.)

Yeah... Ace actually felt the same way.

"Shining," Ace said, coming over. "You did better than that back in the academy, are you getting rusty?" he asked, a mix of playful and serious.

"Magic spurt?"

"Those are for toddlers, Shiney."

I did my best to laugh off his question, then focused on my next task: shielding a dummy from an even stronger attack. We had a few unicorns whose special talent was destructive magic. I instructed them to shoot the closest approximation of that spell Makarov blew me off the roof with.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Training from Tartarus much?)

Hey, that sick buck had nearly killed me and a lot of good Guards. I wanted to be ready for him if we DID meet again.

"Uh, sir, are you sure you want us to do this?" one of them asked.

"Do it, I need this."

They nodded, powered up, and blasted my shield with a big ball of magical death. The shield shattered and my ears were ringing, but good news is at least the dummy had about...oh, second degree burns, but at least I wasn't sent flying across the room like last time.

Yes, it IS odd I can project a shield around an entire city nowadays, but couldn't block a simple destruction spell back then. Just roll with it, please?

(Intereviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Alright Shining, for now.)

I then moved onto correcting my infamously poor aim with gravity buster spells. That wasn't too hard, I actually WAS improving. I actually hit three targets!...One of which I was actually aiming for!

However, the next training session was to crush a crate with a shield. I got as far as getting the shield around it and closed in right up to it...The crate hit the ground without a scratch and I was trembling a little bit.

"Are you alright, sir?" Thunderchild asked.

"Yeah...I'm fine..." I said, trying to shake it off. "I just have trouble using that spell..."

Ace nodded. "Can't blame you, lots of ponies have trouble using spells like that." I think he knew exactly why I couldn't do it. Thankfully, he kept it to himself.

I thought back to Makarov, the night he nearly killed me. I concentrated and tried putting a dome around us, remembering the spell he'd used on me...it just shut down and left me panting.

Thunderchild came over. "Sir...what was that?"

"Trying to copy that spell Makarov used...dang, how much magic reserves does that deer...unicorn thing have?"

(Interviewers Notes: (Unicorn): Shining, you're not your sister, you can't just replicate any spell you eyeball.)

(Interviewers Notes (Pegasus): Why were you even trying to copy that maniac's spell?)

If I know how a spell works, I can find a loophole in it. Maybe even break it from the inside. And it was about the only thing that'd ever stopped that wolf thing...Anyway, that's about it for training.

After that, breakfast, explore a ship in the morning or afternoon, sort the radio things, sort out the birthday things, gauge interest in tournaments... and then, laying down in bed... this felt so good.


I found myself in a passageway, but not on the Invincible. Lettering on the walls appeared to be in a strange mix of Deer Cyrillic and Low Equestrian. The whole corridor seemed to be painted a harsh dark grey instead of pale, and the lighting was dim and tinted red, casting blood-red shadows everywhere. And one seemed to be walking towards me from the other end of the corridor.

"Get away from me!" I backed up a little more... hearing a snarl.

My blood froze.

I looked back to see it...the Ghost-Hound, Wolf, whatever the heck it was, slowly coming at me from the other way. A black shape of nothingness pulling out from the red shadows.

"Now Captain, there's no need to be afraid. You are about to become a part of something great. It will only hurt for a moment," Makarov said, like he was doing me a favor.

"'Part of something great?' You mean one of your war machines?" I asked, putting up the strongest barrier I possibly could around me, not that I expected it to do any good.

"Not quite. there are parts of you I've come to covet. Parts I want to add to my collection."

I look back, the wolf was almost at my shield. Makarov was approaching too. I couldn't tell which beast was more bloodthirsty any more.

"You...you mean you're going to assimilate me, like you did all those deer?" I asked defiantly, trying to clear my mind as best I could. He couldn't assimilate me if I wasn't imagining anything... right?!

Makarov gave a chuckle.

"So you already know about that? Good, this makes things THAT MUCH EASIER!" He cackled, his body dissolving into a mass of shadows, eyes glowing. He was looking at me like a lion looks at a gazelle: it, trying to decide which end of me to eat first.

The wolf phased through my shield on one side, that thing that called itself 'Makarov' on the other. They both pounced on me.


I didn't scream. But I did fall from my bed with a panicked gasp.

Composing myself a bit, I took a drink of water, idly musing about Audience saying how sailors had a reputation for drunkenness because they often drank poorly-desalinated water back in the days when sailing vessels had been the norm, and kind of wishing at the same time it hadn't been fresh rainwater in Invincible's plumbing systems. I checked the clock.
Two in the morning and so very wide awake now. After a fruitless hour of lying there, I tried to borrow a book from one of the ship's libraries. I'd never kept any books I bought for long, growing up, they usually floated Twilight's way. Often literally the moment she saw them.

The day after that (or really, later that day), once Cadence had looked around the two Corvettes (identical ships but she wanted to say hello to the crew on both) we held a promotion ceremony for Lance-Corporal Audience and Corporal Apple. Basically, I put their new rank markings on their armor, and Cadence congratulated them, before the assembled platoon. Not as elaborate as Officer promotions, but they also got a party out of it: Cadence had arranged a party that evening for a few crew who'd had birthdays in Columbia, and it was also a party to celebrate the promotions for my two troopers too.

These parties were held as open invites. Ponies were of course permitted to hold their own celebrations with close friends, or not attend the group-birthday-parties if they wished, but not one of the ones missed out had declined, and most of the rest of the crew who'd been able to arrange time off had attended. So the parties were held in the Auxillary Hangar.

I did what I usually do at parties. Wandered around talking to as many ponies I knew as possible, no political big-shots to irritate, said congrats to the birthday ponies, had some snacks and (non-salt) drinks... But mostly hung around my close friends where I possibly could. But during the wander-part at one point I overheard something from Twinkle Shine and Minuette.

"...Really? A day apart?" Minuette said, sounding strangely delighted.

That had me curious.

"Yeah! I wonder if they know... Oh, hello, Captain!"

"Something interesting crop up with the birthdays?"

"Oh, yes. Sunset found that, er, there's a couple of ponies who have birthdays really close to each other, and it's interesting because, well, those ponies are good friends. Actually though, Captain, She was wondering about your own birthday and if you wanted to have one."

"Well, in my case, my birthday is actually the day after Princess Cadenza's, so I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice about not attending the party that week," Then realized the ammunition I'd just given them.

"That...That's interesting you would KNOW that, Captain!" Minuette said, giving Twinkle Shine a glance.

"Why?"

"Well, it's just... there are a lot of husbands and wives who keep forgetting each other's birthdays, but you... were you and the Princess close when you were younger?"

"Well, she did foalsit my sister, so we were friendly enough, I guess. But the whole birthday-awareness thing was actually thanks to my sister, Twilight."

The two of them looked like they wanted me to continue. So I did.

"Don't ever let her know I told you the story... but when little Twilight first found out when her Royal Foalsitter's birthday was... she had a major panic attack about raising enough money to buy birthday gifts for her and me. When the Princess found out she assumed Twilight had no idea about her birthday, so when Twilight said she was worried about two important birthdays coming up, she thought Twilight meant me and somepony else. So she let me know, I'd told her to try let Twiley know she could probably buy me something cheaper and get something nice for the friend. The Princess was mortified when my sister gave her a necklace and I got a hat. It was quite a nice hat though."

Not a fez though, before you ask. And Cadence apparently still has the necklace. She says she tries to wear it any time she knows she'll see Twilight and she doesn't have to wear something else.

After a bit more talking with Sunset closing in, I moved towards Ellis, who was chatting away with Garnet.

"....We mostly make cheese, tool handles, and scented logs. We do grow apples, but they're more an afterthought for mah part of the family," Ellis said.

The mare from the rock-farming town seemed puzzled. "But... I thought the Apple family farms all grew apples as their main business..."

"Pie family farms don't all grow pies, do they? Nah, we do make a good bit off the apples and the cider, but most of our earnings comes from the wood. Apple wood is a nice for stuff like tool handles and carvings, and it gives off a nice smell when you burn it. We get a good profit from it. Means we can help out the rest of the family too, the ones that farm the apples not the trees, if they lose a tree that's still in good condition. Fer instance, if a pegasus lets a storm get out of hoof..."

He directed a little glance at Gag for this. The Private groaned.

"Ellis, I said sorry to your cousins, okay? Besides, those plot holes in the Hundred and First knew our unit had a lot of new pegasi for weather control."

"Yeah, Ah know, dude, and Red Gala was actually kinda sorry she'd been so angry at ya when Ah told her the circumstances. Just teasin'. Anyway... If a tree does fall, the family ain't losin' all the profit they could have got. We just buy the sucker for a right reasonable price and get it and any bruised apples on it shipped off to us... 'course, can't go round callin' the trees suckers around mah cousins and suchlike cos some of them seem to get right attached to their trees sometimes, cousin AJ actually named a couple, but Ah figure, what the hay, it's just a friggin' tree..."

I zoned out as Ellis droned on.

At that moment in Ponyville

Fluttershy gasped, causing the birds to look alarmed as they were coming in to nest for the evening. One chirped, as if to say 'what's wrong?'

"O-oh, nothing, Twitterbeak. It's just I could have sworn somepony said something insulting to trees."

The birds looked at each other. One chirped flatly, as if to say '...what?'

I zoned back in when somepony announced they were about to play dancing music. Not ballroom music, or any kind of dancing-for-couples music: Just your standard flail-around-like-an-idiot type of dancing. And I swore I saw a flash of pink amongst all the white coated Air Navy and Royal Guard...

"You seem a bit tense. Worried you'll be arrested for crimes against dancing if you try, Sir?" He said. "Again?"

"No, I avoid dancing, you know that...And it wasn't my dancing that got me arrested, it was tripping over my own hooves and knocking a duke into the refreshment table, and I was never convicted...It's just... Well, it might sound silly, but any time music's come on lately, it's just made me feel... nervous. Like the lyrics are talking to me..."

"Talking to you, Sir? Well.... Let's see what happens here."

He zipped over to the DJ, made a request I couldn't hear, then was back, just as the song began to play.

"So they say you're troubled, boy, just because you like to destroy..."

"Is this song speaking to you?"

"...Nope. "

"There, see? The DJ is not trying to have you assassinate the Prime Minister of Maneighsia or anything!"

"...I'm not a male model though."

"But you look like one," He said, batting his eyes in a most disturbing manner.

"Stop giving Private Party ideas, Thunderchild!"

"Okay, okay. So I guess you really don't want to dance?"

"Wha... No! No! And even if I did, I can't dance!"

He laughed and retreated swiftly. I couldn't help but groan and bring a hoof to my face.

"Tired, sir?" Ranger said, approaching me from the front.

"To an extent. You having a good time, at least?"

He nodded and grinned. "Yes, sir. I asked Sunset if she'd go with me as a date and she said yes."

I grinned myself. Maybe they'd not had the most ideal of meetings, but if they actually got to know each other it was likely something would blossom.

"Nicely played, Private. Good luck to you both."

"Thanks, sir."

Now, this was better. I enjoyed dealing with the general antics of ponies being ponies. I could do with way less of angry wolf things and even angrier megalomaniacal maniacs. And I'll admit, karaoke is a guilty pleasure of mine: I find amusement in tone-deaf ponies butchering a song, and having a blast as they do it.

...Turns out Gag could do Wonderwall pretty good.

Then Cadence decided enough was enough and wanted a go near the end and promptly blew everyone before her out of the water. Still, that was only to be expected. I also suspect the goddess of music also ruined my fun because everypony seemed to take levels in musical talent at once, either going from mediocre to good or from lousy to having their lack of talent down to an art form. Hay, I'll even admit that I joined in when she decided to have all the partygoers have a singalong to end the night.


The next morning, Commander Bond decided to show us the ropes.

"And this is an example of an ancient Romane rope, widely used in sailing vessels of the time..."

I was kind of surprised and suspicious the ship had such a large rope collection, to be honest.

Yes, it was kind of a nothing-particularly-happening-today kind of day. Thank Celestia. As Cadence explored the Invincible's library, I found a non-fiction book written by Audience's mother. Speak of the mare in the moon.

"Oh, hey, Captive, it's your mom's book..." A chill ran down my spine, "Wait, what's that?"

"Your mother's book, Sir. Minuette spotted it," He said with a grin.

(Intereviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): She wrote a book?)

Yes... she wrote a book. The one book I never thought I'd have to see again.

"A ship in space collides with a comet. Causing a lowly ship's maid to be the only unattached mare in an escape pod with five upper-class stallions and her childhood friend leading to an Equestrian take on the Neighponese 'harem comedy', revolving around..." Twinkle Shine was eagerly reading the dust jacket notes.

I hoped my blushing wasn't as obvious as I thought it was.

To my horror, I later discovered Minuette had checked it out, and all of the Hoofmaidens eventually would read it, as would Cadence. Fortunately, they never discovered it was my fault it had a sci-fi setting...

"Why not set it in space then they can use magic replicators and stuff and not worry about food, and have room because it's a big escape shuttle ," said nine-year-old me, as a suggestion to mommy's concerns about flaws in her original setting of a lifeboat and an island.

Mom gave us both a copy when it was published. Mine met with an unfortunate accident. As for Twilight.

"Okay Twilight, put it underneath 'Equestria's Most Boring Facts' and 'The Wonderful World Of Snails Expanded Edition,' just like you told me."

"Thank you Spike, you're a wonderful assistant!"

Having survived that episode, I decided to check out a couple of books from the small ship's library Starship Ponies by Heinmane and The Farm by Oatwell.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): I presume the version of the Oatwell book you picked up then is NOT the one with the alternative ending for foals?)

Correct. Instead of establishing a utopia, the other barn animals overthrow the pigs. Chillingly prophetic almost, especially since it was written seventy years ago. You should have seen Twilight's anger when she discovered the true ending. She admitted she liked the happy ending, but was annoyed that somepony had decided foals' emotions were too delicate for the real deal. I think Princess Celestia used it as some sort of object lesson.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): You read those books?)

They're on the Royal Guard's Recommended Reading list.

In the evening, we wound up invited over to the main Neighponese ship for yet another party, which Cadence accepted. That princess sure loved her parties. Though I found myself unsettled... I swear that same familiar pink pony again...

The next day, just before we'd arrived, the platoon and Cadence's entourage (That dozen or so additional ponies like a tennis coach and two chefs there because the nobility had insisted) were given a quick run-down on Zamunda by Cadence.

"Zamundan culture places great pride in their hospitality, so we should find ourselves very welcome. Their nation has a fairly large population of ponies, though most are pegasi. Many Zamundans speak some Equestrian, and if they don't, translators should be readily available. Oh, and before it slips my mind, does anypony have any allergies to goat's cheese? Lactose intolerance?"

Nopony raised a hoof. I think Garnet stopped Gag raising his. Useful girl.

"Good. Because the Zamundans historically were a nation of goat herders, and though their economy has diversified, they tend goats and honey badgers to this day, seeing them as cultural symbols..."

The Royal Pet Tender raised her hoof, even though Cadence didn't have pets. She'd apparently been tending to the ship's various other pets.

"Yes, Skip Jive?"

"Er, Your Highness, are these tame honey badgers?"

"For a given definition of tame..."

"Ah, if they attack you they're only playing?"

"...Yes. Though honey badgers play very rough. Now, this means that they allow honey badgers and goats to roam around the palace grounds freely. Fortunately, the Zamundans form of hospitality is rather interesting..."

She then explained that, in their tribal era, the Zamundan Zebras had a special custom where they would invite distinguished guests to their village. To honor this guest, they would build an all-new guest hut in the center of the village, for the leader and his closest family, furnished in the style of that visitor's hut. The rest of the honored guest's group would be housed amongst the villagers of equal stature (soldiers would room with soldiers, farmers with farmers, etc.)

However, when the guests left, they would ceremonially empty the hut, taking the items from within as gifts, and then burn the hut down. The burning was a symbolic gesture that said: "though we are now friends, there must always be room for more friends," clearing the site of the hut so there'd be a new one for when more guests came.

I dunno, maybe they just have a cultural love of fire. Ought to tell that story to a hotel manager someday and see how he reacts. Anyway, in the modern enlightened (as opposed to ignited) era, that meant...

"...Basically, they build temporary guest houses in their central gardens for the leaders of parties, IE me, and those of you not staying in our embassy will be invited to share rooms with locals in the palace. And when we leave, Ellis can blow up the guest house they built for us."

"There ain't no mortal problem can't be solved or made irrelevant with a dose of PEC4 explosive, Your Highness!"

"Er, yes... Just, try not to overdo it," She said, and Ellis tried to process this alien idea of 'too much explosives' as she continued.

"Are there any other questions?"

"Can we substitute fireworks for that pick-four stuff?" Twinkle Shine suggested.

"Um, no, I don't think we can. And please everypony make sure all of you have been to the medical bay for vaccinations before we arrive. Zebrafrica has a number of mosquito borne diseases that most Equestrians have no immunity to."

"Heh, heh, that only applies to Guards right?" Twinkle Shine nervously, futilely asked.

"No."

The hoofmaiden's ears drooped a bit. "I was afraid of that."

Cadence awaited more questions. None came. She broke up the meeting and said she'd see everyone in Zamunda.

Twinkle Shine laid her chin on her front hooves as the crowd began to disperse.

"You know, Princess, these summaries take away a lot of the excitement of meeting new cultures."

Minuette looked at her.

"You want us to get arrested again?"

I heard an alarmed squeak from my troopers, and quietly instructed somepony to stop Jenkins from shaking herself out of her barding again as Twinkle Shine issued her retort.

"For the last time you and Sunset both missed that 'no music numbers' sign too!"

"Oh, I just remembered something! Everypony! The Zebras of Zamunda have absolutely NO problems with singing!" Cadence said, using the Royal Canterlot Voice to ensure she was heard.

The crowd winced, but were overjoyed at the news.


It was almost a disappointment to reach Zamunda later that evening, to be honest. The flight over had actually been somewhat fun, nightmare excluded. Well, that and the vaccinations. No, I wasn't scared. Why would I be? Don't be silly... Why would I be scared of a long hollow piece of metal being jammed into me... where one errant sneeze from the nurse could mean a major artery being pierced? Or when Private Bendis decided to speak up for once just to cheerfully relate a nasty story about when he'd had an allergic reaction to a shot as a foal?

Turns out Twinkle Shine could really run when she wanted to.

But it was nice to see some land at least, as we neared the imaginatively-named Zamunda City.

(Interviewers Notes (Unicorn): How were Virgacorns treated?)

Virgacorns? Huh? Oh wait, you mean... when a zebra and a unicorn have a kid? Can't say I know... Virgacorns are very few and far between. Why?

(Interviewers Notes (Unicorn): ...Just curious.)

(Interviewers Notes (Pegasus): Just wondering if they were used as a symbol of peace like the Hippogriffs were.)

Naw. Zebra and pony herds as a general rule get along, so there isn't any bad blood to smooth over.

Compared to Liberty, or even Canterlot, Zamunda wasn't a very tall city. The tallest buildings were only about six floors high, and mostly granite and mudbrick, with a wide range of window styles. This was presumably to not block off the rather nice royal palace in the center of the city. That castle was made of white and blue stone, shining bright amongst the more muted tones of the city. It all looked rather flat, but it was actually on a gentle slope: rain would flow down towards the sea. The only parts of the city properly at sea level was the old waterfront, where a few sailing ships still floated. The airships were docking there as well now, though.

Speaking of airships, the air traffic was a bit lighter. The Zamundans let people approach from any direction. However, our own flotilla was to be greeted by the Zamundan Navy, forming a guard of honor.

Only the main ships of our flotilla were to pass, and the order of precedence had us go first thanks to our Alicorn royal, even if she, strictly speaking, wasn't an official head of state (Austneighlia regards her as one, but Equestria legally does not - it's complicated). URS Athena was behind us, and last but not least, the Neighponese Takeshi-Jo .

The Zebra air-sailors were all lined up on the decks of their airships facing towards the corridor the ships would pass through, a practice apparently called crewing the rail. A number of party cannons were being fired over our heads, and we were giving our own party cannon salutes in return too. From the outside it probably looked like a giant confetti fight. Ah!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What?)

THAT'S where I saw that pink pony before! She came to the castle to pick up a check for the party cannons! She's their inventor! She patented the dang things!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Oh, so THAT'S why she never runs out of money for parties...)

Cadence however, noticed something about the corridor of ships we were passing through.

"...Er, Commander Shepard, quite a lot of those Zamundan ships look like this ship."

"Oh, that's because they're the same class, Your Highness. Eight modified Invincible-class Frigates were built for Zamunda, but they call their modified versions the Equestria-class. The majority of their navy is Columbian-built though, and the largest ships they have are Destroyers. Two of the three are here to greet us. In fact, you're looking at about two thirds of their navy," Hornblower explained.

Landing was much quicker here. No Hooviets in the way, no traffic jam. A small convoy of Zamundan Royal Carriages, escorted by Zamundan Regal Army outriders in red and brown armor, were lined up to take us up to the palace. A red carpet stretched from the gangplank to the waiting carriages.

Cadence was greeted by an officer in ornate white amour, with rainbow-colored feathers for a crest, when she walked down the gangplank. Thunderchild and I flanked her, with Gag bringing up the rear just in case a translator was needed. He bowed to our Princess and placed a golden envelope on the red carpet before him. Eight Zebra maids waited with baskets of rose petals, to be scattered under the hooves of royals as they walked by.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Rose petals? What a waste of good food...)

I should clarify, they were paper, and specially-made. Oh, and since, in theory, only Cadence would walk upon these specially-made paper petals, they became quite valuable to collectors, especially since this was her first visit to the country.

Anyway, the zebra officer spoke.

"Greetings, Your Highness. I am Major Oha, of his Zaumundic Majesty King Joffe's Regal Army, in whose name I welcome you to the Kingdom of Zamunda. I extend his heartfelt greetings, and thanks for your attendance at his son's wedding, and extend an invite from His Majesty's Hoof that you shall reside in his humble home as his guest during your stay in our fair country. He presents you these rose bearers that you may follow our custom of walking on a bed of rose petals as long as your hooves are upon our royal soil, and furthermore presents my services as your guide and liaison while you are visiting our fair country."

"Thank you, Major. I humbly accept these kind and generous offers from His Majesty and offer my thanks for this gracious greeting."

She gave a bow herself, and picking the envelope up with her mouth. A nice touch, I thought, to do as much as possible the way the Zebra would.

"Please, follow me..." Oha said, leading the party down the red carpet. His cutie mark appeared to be a shield, funnily enough, but Zebra cutie marks resemble ink drawings, and of course, it was of an oval zebra-style shield, not an Equestrian kite-shaped shield like mine. Not sure how special talents work with Zebras.

Me, Thunderchild, Gag, Cadence, the Hoofmaidens, and Oha went into one of the carriages, or rather, five of us went inside and the three pegasi decided to fly alongside us to stretch their wings. A few Air Naval Cavalry Zebras were outside 'guarding' our ship's gangplank now though, as the rest of the party and platoon walked down to fill (or fly beside) the other carriages.

There were a few less carriages on the streets compared to even Canterlot, and a heck of a lot more hoof traffic. Zebras were everywhere as we drove past, most of them only giving us odd glances, but keeping the rather wide main road clear for us. Oha explained a little about the marketplaces we passed, pointed out landmarks, answered a few queries from the Hoofmaidens, and got very confused when Gag accidentally spoke to him in Zamundan, and only realized it halfway through his reply in Equestrian.

"Your accent and grammar is almost perfect, Private. Is this your special talent?"

"Er, yes, sir. Can't really explain why, but I just seem to be able to understand a language and make myself understood after hearing it a few times, even if I haven't heard the whole language, and I've met a few Zamundans before."

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Huh, kind of like Fluttershy's talent with animals. She'd never seen any ground animals before in her life but she could talk with them right away.)

Perhaps, but Gag freely admits understanding sapient beings is actually a lot simpler. Unlike Fluttershy, Gag can't understand animals except a few cat phrases: One swipe is go away, two swipes is go away now, and attacking him in a ball of fur and spitting indicates that the cat would much prefer a world without him in it. Yet the idiot insists on saying hello to almost every cat he meets.

Anyway, we soon arrived at the palace. Cadence was shown her guest house, right in the middle of the central gardens alongside the other guest houses. It was basically just a number of prefabricated rooms, with a straw hut appearance. There were four rooms: Master bedroom for Cadence, bedroom for the three hoofmaidens, and then two more. The one supposedly for me had a double bed. The fourth one, a single bed. We wondered why, Oha had also been confused. A quick radio call and a Griffin in local uniform showed up with some records a few moments later. Strangely, the Griffin apparently didn't even speak a word of Equestrian.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Heh, guess his family went native.)

"This is strange. It seems the workers furnishing the room were under the belief you were married, Major," Oha said, as puzzled as us.

"That's quite a mix-up. I'm single and a Captain. Why is there a fourth room?" I said, wondering if maybe there could have been some Hooviet scheme in play for one brief second of paranoia.

The griffin turned the page for Oha. The Zebra frowned.

"...I think somehow records for another guest may have been mixed up with yours. This is the right guest house for your party, but it seems we expected the Guard Commander to have a daughter. No name is listed though."

I sighed. "Maybe a records error from Canterlot."

The griffin then spoke again. Oha nodded, a few more pages were turned, and then they both spoke for a few moments before Oha spoke to me.

"We thought perhaps there could have been confusion with the Grand Fenwickian delegation. Their Commander's name is Sharkle, and she is a Major..."

"Ah. Hang on, did you just say Sharkle?"

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): No way.)

Yes way. Her name was Major Dawn Sharkle. Unluckily, she was a former member of the Fenwickian Royal Marines elite Special High Altitude Reconnaissance Command, meaning that she was, technically, a shark after all. Well, a SHARC.

"...Well, since we have one room too many, maybe we could use our extra room for our guards, Major Oha. No big deal."

I thanked both of them for their help and they left.


The dinner was rather unexciting from my point of view. Fairly standard semi-informal state dinner, really. The center of attention was the Crown Prince, of course, since it was his wedding in two days everyone was nominally here for. There were quite a lot of military dress uniforms at the table, but the Zamundan royals were not among them.

The bride to be was also present, since the Zebra do not follow the tradition the future couple should not see each other the night before the ceremony as it's bad luck. Or is it just bad luck to see them in their wedding clothes before then? Drat, knew I should have paid attention instead of playing hide and seek with the other foals at Auntie Nightsky's wedding. Look, important bit is, the bride was there.

When we returned, the beds had only just began to be sorted, so I decided to take a short walk before I went back to change out of my Dress Uniform. Mactavish and Dunn had been brought along to help remodel our spare room, so a third unicorn would probably just get in the way.

And then I heard an irate growl behind me. I was reminded of what Reznov had said. Tens of meters... How far had I walked away from Cadence without thinking?

"...Please just be a honey badger."

I turned slowly. It was.

"Oh, Goddesses... You had me scared there for a second," I said to it.

Then it hit me. Literally. The little bastard just jumped at me.

"OH GODDESSES!" I almost-screamed, throwing a shield up in time before it could get to its feet and leap at me again.

The bemused badger bounced off, looked at me as if I had cheated, and walked off. Thank goodness I didn't scare it and it as just playing.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Why?)

That white strip down their backs is not for show. Ask the Fenwickians...

I decided to make my way back, keeping the shield up a few moments just in case. I was then puzzled to see what looked like a tank getting the double bed loaded into it.

"...Thunderchild? Why is there a tank here?"

"Oh, the Zamundans say it's easier than carrying the double bed back to the palace stores, especially with the honey badgers."

I blinked.

"...They need a tank for that and they still let the honey badgers have free rein of the gardens? Tradition or not I think they need to rethink it a bit..."

One of the Zebra that was loading the bed into the vehicle grunted something.

"He says he agrees, Sir. But, er, I won't quite repeat the Equestrian translation of what he said about them... Oh, he also said this is actually a troop carrier, not a tank, but he sees why you said that," Gag reported.

It had tracks and armor. That was a tank to me back then.

Eventually, the troop... bed carrier drove off.

"Well, Sir, we'd best get back to our rooms. Not quite sure where we're actually barracked..." Mactavish noted.

"Be careful for honey badgers!" I reminded Gag.

"Oh, come on, Sir, there's no need to worry. Soap was going to put up a shield spell and I was going to fly at head height, so the only way they'd get us is if they attacked now - AAAAARGH!"

I winced, even as I helped Mactavish and Dunn to telekinetically pull the cat off.

"What's the trouble? Is somepony hurt?" Minuette said as she dashed outside.

"Gag just had another cat incident, ma'am."

"Oh, not again..."

"Mactavish, make sure he goes to see Private Chambers, Get those cuts checked and cleaned out properly," I sighed, as Gag went 'ow' a lot.

"Yes sir," The Caledonian Lance-Corporal replied.

"Um, Captain, I do have medical spells, I could check him..."

"Private Chambers has the medikit though, but thanks for offering."

She seemed a little disappointed at that.

We watched them go. We also watched a honey badger bropaw the cat, and since no one would ever believe us, did not actually discuss it. Cadence soon popped her head out to wonder what was up. I explained that instead, leaving out the badger-cat alliance.

"...In fairness, I warned them about the badgers. And he was kinda tempting Fate."

"Strange name for a cat," Cadence noted.

"That's what it says on her collar," Thunderchild backed me up.

"Anyway, Minuette, Gentlecolts, the night's still young and we're a bit bored, so does anypony want to join us for a game of Whisk."

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): The turn-based game where you try to have baking franchises in control of the whole map?)

That's the one.

"Uh, I think, Your Highness, I'm just going to try read that book I borrowed, if that's okay,"

"That's fine, Minny. What about you three?"

"Technically, Thunderchild and Ellis are on duty, but I suppose if you played in the room they're in, it'd be acceptable," I noted.

"Uh, sorry, Your Highness, but ah'm afraid ah'd have to sit out. Ah don't have much fun playin' Whisk, to be honest..." Ellis said.

"Audience isn't here for once," I reminded him.

"...Well, okay."

This was a horrendous mistake, because I'd forgotten the reason Ellis disliked playing against Audience was the two of them always managed to grind into a long stalemate when we play the more elaborate military training version. This meant he turned out to be unsurprisingly skilled at the simplified version. Still, it meant I could start reading my book now I'd been wiped out.

Unfortunately, Minuette had decided to stay in the room with the Princess and the Hoofmaidens, and it was her record she'd bought in Columbia that was playing on the turntable...

"There's a black dog on my shoulder again..."

I tried not to be too obvious when I winced and put a shield around my ears, but Cadence must have noticed. She was looking at me and her mouth was moving.

"...What?"

She pointed at her ears, reminding me I'd blocked mine off from the unwanted music.

"I said, do you want Minuette to skip this one? You don't seem to like it."

"Um, no, it's fine..."

"You do look pretty unsettled, Sir."

"It's no problem, Captain, I don't really like this track myself that much," Minuette admitted, skipping to the next song.

"You lift my spirit, take me higher, make me fly, touch the moon up in the sky, when you are mine..."


"Okay, so, it has nothin' to do with the Mare in the Moon in Manechester?" Ellis said, honestly puzzled.

"No, Lance-Corporal. What you call Nightmare Night, we call Winterstart. And we don't dress up to hide from Nightmare Moon, we do it so the Windigoes don't see any ponies, and leave the world alone. But because they came, winter still comes."

"In Yokeshire and Detrot they just set fire to things. It's why the flamethrower was invented," Audience interjected.

"Yeah, but judging by Captain Sharpe, setting fire to things isn't anything special in Yokeshire," I decided to say.

It was Nightmare Night, and we'd found a great way to stop our new recruit from unleashing bad jokes on us, with the happy side effect of encouraging Ellis to listen to our stories for once. Knew I loved this night for a reason other than the fact it was a great excuse to load out on candy. Sadly, no candy for us tonight as we'd been put on backup duty for the castle patrols, in the base of the Lunar Tower.

"Hypothetical question. If you were dressing up in a costume tonight, what would you dress up as?" Thunderchild tried.

"A Guardspony," Three voices said together in alarmingly unplanned harmony.

"Maney Gibbs Junior," Ellis said, oblivious to what the rest of us had been up to.

"Okay, being serious I suppose I'd have dressed up as... Princess Celestia!" I blurted and stood up.

Everypony but Ellis actually realized what I was REALLY saying.

"Uh, that's kind of a weird costume for..."

He realized we had all stood up and bowed, then he turned and was face-to-face with Her.

"Your Highness! M-may I ask what we owe the honor to?" I said quickly.

Gag and Ellis both seemed startled to the point of freezing in fear. Thunderchild and Audience both stood to attention too, but remembered they needed to breathe.

"Oh, I often come to this tower on Nightmare Night. I find it gives the best view of the moon. Shining Armor, if at all possible I would prefer to be alone at the top of the tower this evening." She said, seeming a little wistful. "If anypony comes for me can you have them wait? I don't usually stay up there too long..."

"Certainly, Your Highness."

"Thank you, Lieutenant Sparkle" she said, and with that, began to ascend the tower.

"Ellis, Running, remember to breathe," I warned them as soon as the Princess was gone.

They both did so. Thunderchild chuckled.

"Last time I saw somepony as freaked out as you two were was this time last year. Remember that, Lieutenant? When we were in STARS, the arrest warrant for suspected unlicensed alchemy we served?"

I frowned. "...In... I don't remember that at all, Thunderchild, what do you..."


Waking up suddenly in your bed can be disorientating. Waking up staring into a bathroom mirror is extremely disorientating.

All I could tell was I'd been up, but not awake, and had managed to turn the tap on to get a drink. And that my heart was pounding like I'd just had a serious fright. But all I recalled was confusion, and that dream. It was four in the morning.

I tried to go back to sleep, but after another half an hour realized I was wasting time trying, so I just read until my alarm went off.

After a cautious and somewhat slower-paced morning run to account for the fact the princess and the hoofmaidens were with us, and letting the pegasi stretch their wings with some short flights, we got on with the day. A day which consisted of Cadence meeting with other diplomats, clarifying what would be our places and roles at tomorrow's wedding celebration, and shortly after lunch, being invited to see a practice by a troupe of pegasus acrobats from Bitaly.

It was rather impressive, to be honest: The main draw of it was to have pegasi performing trapeze dances and other high-altitude stunts, with no nets and their wings closed during the tricks.

Of course, the safety element was obvious in many tricks: if they fumbled, they simply opened their wings. But given the display was meant to be 'flying without wings' they tried not to. Even without their wings, pegasi were amazing acrobats.

Even though we sat with some Zamundan officials who had ordered this performance, and a few other diplomats, Sunset was curiously the best-informed about it all. I discovered why when a performer came in with a number of thunderclouds above, and they set up obstacles on the ground.

"See, this one is one of the most dangerous tricks. When I was with the circus..."

"Wait, you were with the circus?" Private Running Parrot asked.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Who's Running Parrot?)

Running Gag! Sheesh, it wasn't that bad a joke, was it?

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Sorry, you and Shepard just have a VERY large number of troops under your command, and-)

Moving on!

"Yeah, I used to be with the circus until I was seventeen, my parents are both acrobats. Aerialist stunts aren't so common in Equestria these days though, everypony seems to prefer flight acrobatic teams like the Wonderbolts.

Minuette and Twinkle Shine gave her a quick hug, I'm guessing she had to move away from a circus life for less than happy reasons. She'd said 'are' about her parents, not 'were', thank goodness.

Sunset explained, Circuses had suffered declining attendances. Performances could be repeated, but each performer did it a special way, and often had a signature trick. Young acrobats would perform supporting roles, and work on their own tricks. But the problem was how audiences were drawn in. A hoofball team, or a racing team, they could have their competition results spread far and wide. Ponies would come see them and keep seeing them much easier, because an attachment to a team was easier. But with the unique tricks, that meant that each circus was different - and yet every night the same.

The Wonderbolts could draw ponies in to see their racing heroes. Marsenal could have loyal followers through winning trophies. But Sunset found herself in a strange place. She was the daughter of two talented acrobats. She had inherited both their unique tricks, and they had planned she would be a supporting performer until they were to retire, and she would replace them both.

But the declining audiences meant less junior acrobats could be kept on. It cost too much. And because the others could use their unique tricks without replacing or duplicating somepony else, they could fight better to keep or earn new places with them. And Sunset simply couldn't let her parents retire so early. So she had to leave the only life she'd known, because she'd loved her parents too much to make them give it all up for her there and then. And since her special tricks were inherited, that meant she couldn't go perform them for another troupe, and yet, developing her own in another troupe would be difficult. Either she would betray her parents by abandoning what they gave her or betray her new troupe by taking the trick she'd developed with them to another circus.

"So what about this trick?" I said quickly.

"Oh, the Thunderdome. What happens is, one flyer up top is bouncing from cloud to cloud with their wings closed..."

"Wings closed? But you need your wings open to be able to control the lightning properly..." Thunderchild noted.

"Yeah, exactly, Sergeant. You bounce and the lighting goes downwards, towards the metal poles below if you're controlling it properly. Meanwhile, the second flyer is trying to run the obstacle course below while flying. And they have to fly between arcs of lightning at points. Once it's hit metal you can't control it. Even if you can control it, a lightning strike can disrupt your flying."

"Touch a bolt and you crash. The setup looks like the metal causes predictable arcs, but those are some pretty tight tolerances between them. And the static buildup..."

"That's why it's a trick, Sergeant. And I bet you thought the Wonderbolts running a thunder gauntlet was impressive."

The two air acrobats had begun. A grey pegasus swooped around the ground below, as a yellow one bounced from cloud to cloud. It seemed that the one doing the bouncing had to pay attention to where their partner was as well as not hit the wrong cloud. They seemed to be doing quite well until the grey one just brushed a metal pole with his wing: barely just a touch, but there was a bright flash and he flew out of control.

Everypony winced, and the one up top burst her clouds and dived down. The dazed performer's wing was held limply at his side.

"Garnet, Minuette, see if you can lend a hoof. Gag, go translate if they need it," Cadence instructed.

Long story short, the leader of the troupe seemed to be in despair as one of his key performances was now in jeopardy. No one else in their troupe had good low-level flying skills, the injured pony was out for at least three days, and the group of Zamundans he spoke to seemed very upset at this. Conveniently, it seemed that the Italiponian pony and the Zamundan Zebra's only common language was ours.

"But this is the Crown Prince's favorite display! It is the very reason he desired an air acrobatic performance..."

"U-um... Maybe I could help? I used to be in a circus..." Sunset spoke up.

Pretty much all of us reacted with surprise and horror at this. The Ringmaster took one look at her, and I had quietly hoped he'd dismiss it. But he did not.

"Your cutie mark... Your talent is low-level flight?"

"Sunny, didn't you just see what happened?!" Twinkle Shine squeaked.

"It is," The hoofmaiden replied, ignoring her friend.

"Have you ever performed this trick before?"

"Yes, but only practice, I never got a chance to perform it in front of crowds before I had to leave..."

"Which circus?"

"R-ringwing Sisters."

His eyes widened. "Ringwing Sisters? If this is true, perhaps you may do. Please come down in five minutes once we have made sure the course is set correctly."

With that, the troupe leader went away.

"Sunset, are you really sure you want to do this?" Cadence said, before Twinkle Shine could make some other protest.

"I can do this, Princess. If we can make sure that the Zamundan Prince has a good day tomorrow, then that helps us do what we're here to do, right?"

"But you could get hurt!" Minuette added her two Zamundan Cents.

"It's been a while since you did anything like this!" Twinkle Shine noted.

"I can do this! Please, just let me try and show everypony I can do this, Princess. I promise if I feel like I can't, I'll say. I just want to try," she said.

"...All right. But if the ringmaster says no, don't press it."

Sunset nodded, and dashed off before her two friends could protest. A few moments later, we all watched somewhat nervously as she began practicing.

And a few moments after that, we were all staring stunned. The Bitalian troupe had all burst into applause.

"She really is from the circus..." Twinkle Shine gawked.

Fortunately, the low-altitude flyer was a support performer, but this also meant Sunset had to practice a few other, less risky, tricks too. She knew them all already though. It meant we had to leave her behind, and Cadence decided to leave her some guards too - Gag to translate (we had Major Oha for the moment) and Ranger since he got on well with her and Gag. That was her official reasoning...

"Maybe I could stay as well, Your Highness? Just in case they need a little extra medical aid..." Garnet offered.

"They've got medics here, Private. And besides, Sunset seems confident enough in her own skills," I declined.

"...Yes, Sir," She said, looking a little down.

I assumed at the time it was because she'd thought this was a place she may have had to put her talents to use.

Evening ensued, and we basically spent the whole time making sure all dresses, barding, uniforms, ponies, griffins, and zebras were well-polished for our attendance at tomorrow's wedding.


I suppose you'll want a description of the wedding ceremony then? I'll confess I'm not a big fan of weddings if I'm honest. I'm not bored witless, but generally, I just don't really enjoy them much. Y-chromosomes, eh?

Anyway... All of the guests waited at a place called the Temple of Kings and Ancestors, which was a place designed to commemorate and revere, well, the spirits of kings and ancestors. It sat at one end of the Royal Palace, and meanwhile the bride and groom were to approach from two different directions. As part of it, the groom was accompanied by the servants and bodyguards of his bride to be (in this case, including a group of Columbian Army troopers because she was from there), whilst the Prince's personal regiment and servants escorted his princess-to-be. That confused me at first until I recalled that this was Zamunda, and Prince Akeem was the Crown Prince. Anyone marrying a prince or princess in Equestria actually becomes a duchess or duke, not a prince or princess themselves. A lot of ponies forget that. I don't.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Hmm, wonder why...)

Because you look daft calling a Duke a Prince of course. Though I admit it can be confusing considering how many ponies just declare themselves prince and princesses, Cadence is the only one Celestia herself ever appointed. Anyway, so, the approach of each royal party was conducted as a gentle procession, each of them sitting in a rather unusual half-carriage. They sat facing outwards, their riders pushing from behind. The intention? The two carts would be pushed onto a platform, the pair would reunite, and enter the temple, with a guard of honor now formed on the red carpet (yes, there were rose bearers). I have to admit I kind of liked that gesture, it seemed a bit more likeable than one of the pair having to wait inside.

The rest of it was a true ceremony. The pair avowed their love for each other, challenging ancestors to approve the marriage with inaction. Naturally, none objected. One ceremonial objection was made: The King challenging his son with three questions. Is this mare of royal posture (as in, makes the cut to become a member of the family?) Is this mare the mare you love? And would you defy the spirits and your king if they were to deny you her hoof in marriage?

Yes to all three was the idea. The latter one confirming the gesture that from that day forward, his first loyalty was now to his wife and to his future. Seemed a kind of strange gesture to me, but noon came, and the pair became married by a kiss held for a whole minute. The ceremony concluded with the high priest asking if their futures would honor their ancestors and give pride to their future descendants. Yes again.

And that was it. They were now Crown Prince Akeem and his Princess Asil. Cue our first involvement: all other royals present were now supposed to join in behind the newlyweds in a procession back to the palace proper for the reception. The whole way we were flanked by Zamundan Regal Army badger-handlers, but it seemed the badgers loved a good wedding. Presumably they would just eat any passed out drunken guests later on in the evening. Or maybe they got a bit of the cake, I don't know. I mean, it was Goat's Cheese and Honey...


The first part was the show. Various folk singers, and the circus act. Sunset nailed her part in it - Equestrian talents on show! The Crown Prince was delighted by it, as were much of the crowd. He would thank her and Cadence for it with his speech later.

Next, there was dinner. That cake wasn't bad, by the way, but bananas and peaches seemed to be a popular addition to almost everything. Ellis unsurprisingly recognized the apples as being Austneighlian, but this was fine with him as they seemed to be from the branch of the Apple clan that lives there. Just how far had that family spread anyway?

It was organized into layers in a way, the party that is, though the cake was layered as well to an extent. The Zamundan Royals sat at the middle of it all, and the other royals floated near them, chatting in groups. Other heads of state and ambassadors floated around. Beyond that, the other VIPs and guests. Meanwhile at the edges, the military and economist types chatting about non-wedding related stuff.

Then came speeches, in which various other princes praised the new couple, and the King formally granted titles onto his son and new daughter in law. And then the dancing began. The first dance at a Zamundan royal wedding was a little off from what Equestrians may expect: It saw the mother of the new princess dance with the prince, and the King dance with his daughter in law before passing them off to dance with each other, while the parents then began dancing themselves and opened it to other married couples.

"So, having fun, Ladies and Gentlecolts?" Cadence asked.

"Well, I've been to less interesting weddings," I admitted, then frowned as I thought I saw a flash of pink in the crowd waiting at the edges.

"Probably when you were a colt. I've always liked weddings. Most fillies do, don't we, girls?"

Garnet and the Hoofmaidens nodded. Well, minus Sunset: this was the next party, and therefore, she and Ranger were now on their date. Even if both were technically working. Not a bad arrangement, get paid to have a date with each other and go to a party.

"Fillies usually only like weddings because they can pinch ideas for their own. Not that some colts are much better, to be honest," Audience added.

"Can't say I really give weddings much thought myself," I decided to say.

"That's because you're boring. Lots of little fillies and plenty of colts like to imagine what their own weddings will be like. Surely you gave it some consideration?" Minuette teased.

"...Well, when I was five I kind of assumed I'd marry a princess..."

The three hoofmaidens perked up.

"...But as far as I could tell that was generally what happened when a knight slays a dragon. And then I realized, if a knight were to slay multiple dragons, he'd either need to pick only one princess, get arrested for bigamy, or not get married at all and just go around slaying dragons, annoying other knights because none of them could get married."

There was silence.

"I over-thought things a lot when I was five, okay?"

"It is genetic..." Cadence said in something of a stage whisper.

"Er, yes, Sir, and besides, that idea would be rather impractical today," Thunderchild noted.

"Yes. Standard way to kill a Dragon these days is artillery. What happens then, does the whole regiment that survives the battle get to marry a princess? What if some of the gunners are mares? Do they get princes? Or does everypony just get upgraded and they can marry each other? What if they were..."

"Shining, you're acting like you're five," Cadence cut me off.

"Shutting up now."

"Hey, they're about to open the dance floor to everyone, not just ponies who are already married! Princess, why don't you and the Captain dance?" Twinkle Shine then said.

"...Because that's horrendously inappropriate? The protocol is the Princess dances with the senior NCO first, the idea being the senior officer oversees it to ensure the area is safe for dancing," I explained.

"...What?" The trio said, puzzled.

"It's true. A few hundred years ago, the officer commanding a bodyguard detail was invited to dance with a princess, and the pair very nearly slipped on a banana peel. If the officer hadn't noticed it and picked it up, there could have been a problem. Ever since then, the NCO has danced first, the officer on guard for banana peels," Audience explained.

"You just made that up, didn't you? Garnet, they made that up, didn't they?"

"Um... No. It's true."

Those rules would soon be joined by 'princesses must learn the proper use of modern household appliances' thanks to Princess Luna.

"Oh, well, since you three seem to want me to make a fool of myself with my dreadful dancing I suppose there's no choice. Come along, Sergeant."

"Yes, Your Highness."

"I'll keep watch!" I said.

The two hoofmaidens looked on in dismay.

"Cheer up, ladies, it's an open dance, and there's three gentlecolts to pick for partners right here. Or there's always each other, this is just a dance that could be between friends and colleagues, after all..." Garnet pointed out as I was leaving to follow the Princess.


Yes, I did have a dance with the Princess, but only one, and then she had dances with a few other royals. The Neighponese princess even managed to convince her to swap bodyguards for a dance, which was rather worrying because I was fairly sure the samurai was the jealous type. Thankfully, she wasn't around long. She had lots of other royals to anno... party with. Though for one moment I swore I saw that elusive pink pony again, chatting with her...

The hoofmaidens all seemed a bit downtrodden except for Sunset as we went back to our quarters. They were happy enough for her since she'd had an exceptionally good day, and her now-officially-coltfriend was walking along with us. Well, so was the whole platoon, actually, we'd all been there.

"You know, Thunderchild, you're actually a pretty good dancer," Cadence spoke up.

"Well, I used to work private weather for the Orange family in Manehattan. They taught me to dance for a party once. As you probably guessed from your dance with the Captain, it's not something we get trained to do..."

"Hey, I'm the first to admit I'm a terrible dancer," I replied.

"You weren't that bad. Not all that great but not that bad. We can fix that, we've got nearly two years..."

"We might need more than that," I warned.

We soon reached our quarters. Tonight's guard detail to stand in the spare room was to be Griffen and Marelowe this evening, but the platoon assembled for a final inspection and for the princess to speak to them.

"Well, Ladies and Gentlecolts, tomorrow we're back working diplomatically again. No more parties for at least a week. Hope none of you have bad hangovers!" She joked.

"If anypony has one, I'm sure we can just steal Mactavish's supply of Ferrous Elixir. He's Caledonian, he'll have a stash somewhere," Garnet noted.

"Hooves off, it's mine!" A voice said from within the assembled platoon.

"Yes, yes, I don't think we need to resort to stealing energy drinks from unfortunate Lance-Corporals quite yet, Private Chambers. Anyway, good night and see you all in the morning."

The platoon saluted, and then broke off to return to their quarters.

"You know, I'm really looking forward to this. A whole continent to visit, so many different cultures and traditions, all in the company of friends and with new friends to make on the way. It's a pretty exciting prospect, yes?" Cadence said to us that remained.

"...Well, putting it that way, it's hard not to feel anticipation for it all, is it?"

She just nodded. "Good night, Shining."

And with that, she and the hoofmaidens retired for the evening. I was making my way in when I noted Marelowe seemed apprehensive.

"Lance-Corporal? Something the matter?"

"...Well, Sir, it's just... We're visiting Kundu last, aren't we?"

I nodded.

"Yeah. Look, probably best not to dwell too much on it, Marelowe. To be honest that whole half of Zebrafrica is probably going to be a bit awkward, but I didn't want to spoil the good mood pointing it out."

"The Hooviet half," Griffen noted.

"Yeah. Not to mention we think there's the wreck of an Equestrian ship to find somewhere around there too. We'll cross these bridges as we come to them."

The two nodded.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good night, troopers."

And with that I retired to my own bed, trying to look forward to the continent rather than dreading the tail end of it all. Besides, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, I thought, once we did get to that side of it....

PreviousChapters Next