• Member Since 11th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 8th, 2016

Souldin


Sequels1

E

When sorting through a horde of ancient artefacts Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash accidentally activate the magical powers of a pair of bracelets which force the wearers to be in constant physical contact with one another. Stuck together until Twilight manages to find a way to remove the bracelets, the shy and timid pegasus must cope with re-emerging feelings, while the athletic and rash pegasus must cope with the various antics of a bunny rabbit out to get her.

The cover image for this story is the artwork ‘FlutterDash RainbowShy IDK’ by TheDracoJayProduct.

This fanfic features FlutterDash and hints/mentions other pairings such as SpArity, RariPie, and SweetieSpike to a lesser degree.

I do not - nor do I claim to - own any characters or artwork I use in this story unless otherwise stated - they belong to their respective series and owners.

Now with a fan-made TV Tropes page created and maintained by Zyr1987 because readers of this story consider this to be that awesome.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 738 )

In my read later list...its getting so long...

I have been waiting for this since you wrote about it in your blog. Glad to see it.

Hmm, interesting. I'll watch this.

Nobody made this joke yet? Well, here goes. Opposites attract!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I'm going crazy with the double meanings.

:yay::pinkiehappy: WOW! This was just an awesome day! First World of Chaos was updated and now this? Well, SQUEE! You guys are just the best. :twilightsmile: But hey, little simple things like this make me happy.

So far, it's pretty good! I do like that little angle in which the hosts of the bracelets are meant to keep contact, not necessarily the bracelets themselves. An interesting idea! Not that I would have minded their bracelets being bound, of course, but it was a neat way to look at it this way. :pinkiesmile:

The beginning was intriguing! :yay: Tee hee, oh, Flutters... You luffles her. :raritywink:

I don't even think I need to say that I already really really like this story! Well done, good sir! I look forward to more! :pinkiehappy: Cheerio, dahling!
:yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

Well its quite something... Huge vocab of words used. Slightly odd chapter start. Why were Dash and Fluttershy in bed together there? :rainbowhuh:
Every two weeks? Awwwww... okay. It's clear that a lot of thought has gone in here and I thoughly enjoyed the Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash parts.

Anyhow... :yay::heart::rainbowdetermined2:FTW!

An interesting and some what hilarious concept.
Other than some small errors it was a good start.

Looks very good, liked and faved.

A bored but now relieved Rainbow raised a hoof in the air and asked aloud, “Quick question, if me and Fluttershy are magnets, am I top and she bottom or does Fluttershy top me?”
Okay, so I'm in a public bathroom reading this, and when I read the line above, I lauged really hard. But I think somebody else was in here, and they left as soon as possible. Lol.
Oh, and great story by he way. Look forward to chapter 2

Love me some Flutterdash. Adding to read later list. :pinkiehappy:

Got a little hard to read at times, but I can live with that.

2 weeks...Thats too long...........GREAT STORY THOUGH Liked and faved and watched!:pinkiesmile:

Good, but very rough around the edges.

There's a number of basic grammar mistakes, the kind that you could be rid of by having a good pre reader. Also, Twilight's speech isn't quite right, for example she says, "me and Luna," surely a grammatical error Twilight wouldn't make. Also, Twilight's speech is a little more refined and clear cut than you write her. This leads into your big issue; your style's too wordy. Many of your sentences are weighted down with excessive word use which hampers the flow. I would suggest reading the story aloud and, if you find your tongue stumbling over a sentence, rewriting it.

Other than those few things, this is good. You have an intriguing premise, some enjoyable prose, and a feel for what the characters are like. Keep up the good work, author.

"Artefacts" in your summary is spelled wrong.
It's "artifacts."
I will come back when read.

Nice. I'm not really a review guy on stories, i'm really just a reader.

Now if you would all look up to the big white box on this website showcasing various fanfics you will see my fanfic Magnetism. Magnetism, my fanfic Magnetism is featured...:raritystarry:

So then, along with this story being featured at this precise moment Magnetism has seventeen comments, forty seven likes, only two dislikes, and has been favourite by one hundred and nine readers...all within a day. This naturally makes me ecstatic, this here is a fanfic that I have been working on for a long time, that I have been promoting and unintentionally hyping up for a long time, and one that I have a lot of confidence in and fresh out the gate and it is doing spectacularly so far. I'm now hoping that this good fortune lasts, and possibly transfers to my luck with lottery tickets, I certainly wouldn't mind winning the jackpot.

Anyway, before I begin addressing each comment individually I would just like to say thanks to each and every one of you. I would also like to add that I have two other, completed FlutterDash fanfics and so, if you are enjoying this one so far, I recommend you give my other two stories a looksee. Now then, shameless self-advertising aside, it's time this one replies.

1244731 Here's hoping that when you get around to reading this here fanfic of mine that your experience will be a pleasurable one. Thanks for showing an interesting in Magnetism.

1244902 I have been waiting for this since you wrote about it in your blog. :applejackunsure:, oh, when about did you happen to spot this in my blogs? For you see I've been mentioning Magnetism since my first blog post on this site back on the 15th January and that is a pretty long time to be waiting. Real sorry about the wait, but at least you enjoyed it. Thanks for commenting Razzian.

1244943 Hello GlidingZephyr, it's nice to see that your interest in my works remains strong. It is also nice to hear that you will be watching this story and I hope your time doing so is a pleasant one. Thanks for commenting.

1245073 :rainbowlaugh:, it is surprising that no one has mentioned that joke yet and in fact, I'm not sure as of yet if anyone in the story says that phrase either, though I can think of one good point to place it. Glad to see my story has made you laugh and thanks for commenting Some Kinda Brony.

1245165 So my story is starting to drive you crazy already...:rainbowhuh: I have no idea if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading and thanks for the comment.

1245245 While I'm pretty sure that fanfics with the 'we're stuck together concept' have been done before I have admittedly not seen one of the pony nature so yeah, original is a fitting description for my story. I was actually rather nervous about the premise of my story, I thought it up back in January of this year and have been working on it since and each day I was afraid I would go onto this site and see that someone's uploaded a pony fic with the exact same idea. Luckily this did not occur and I'm able to continue frolicking in bliss.

It seems you've enjoyed my story so far and I appreciate that, thanks for commenting Dimondium.

1245529 I shall try to the utmost of this one's abilities to make such a thing so :rainbowdetermined2:. Thank you for commenting Nyysjan.

1245741 It elates (I tire of saying glad all the time) me that I have managed to make your already awesome day even better NintendoGal. Ah, World of Chaos, I must confess that I have not read that story in quite a while :fluttershysad:. Luckily I'm beginning to get back into reviewing and as such should start reading and reviewing each and every chapter...it shouldn't take me too long to catch up with the current update.

There's an interesting story concerning the bracelets, one of which I'll be sure to fill you in on with my next blog post. For now though I will say that I give such an idea some thought but then I realised that if I were to such a thing I might as well have it as magical handcuffs which would still be amusing but not as original. A key reason as to why I did not go with any handcuff idea though and insisted that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash must be contact themselves is because of the lack of physical object connecting them. With handcuffs for instance, or something of the sort, while the ponies would question what secret backdoor activities the two had been up to they would see why the two were suddenly so close while with the current body contact concept, all other ponies will see is Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy suddenly being very physical with one another while wearing matching accessories.

As for that opening bit, that was neat to write and is something I can't really say much about at this point :trollestia:. As for the rest of your comment, well I'm pleased myself that you are in turn pleased. It was indeed a great fear of mine that it would not rise to the expectations I set it, even with my great amount of confidence in this story, but such worries I no longer have. I appreciate hearing of your enjoyment of this story; I in turn shall ensure that you continue to enjoy this story and thank you very much for commenting.

1246479 Well its quite something is a worrying way to start your comment but Huge vocab of words is surely praise and so my worries are for nought. As for the opening, it is strange but one that I cannot discuss as of this moment.

Yes this fanfic will update once every two weeks, my fastest updating time ever. I even plan to try and make this work despite now having a job (to which I loathe so very much) and yes, a lot of planning has been going into this. Heck, this story idea's been bubbling about in my brain since January, to which plans, notes, and drafts were already being drawn up. It is my great hope that such planning will be worth it in the end and I will be able to provide the best reading experience I can muster. Thank you very much for commenting FlutterDash7 and of course :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:.

1246492 Thanks for the praise on the concept, thanks for the criticism, and thanks for commenting Ultra8.

1246504 Nice to know that the story is appealing and may it prove to be even more so as it continues. I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter and I thank you for your comment PoniSiitoin.

1246887 One of my favourite things to find out from my readers is what moments they enjoyed the most, or to a memorable extent so thanks for your little tale. I also find it amusing to hear of the reaction and events that transpired during said reaction of my readers so further thanks I offer to you. Good to hear that you not only enjoyed this first chapter but are also looking towards the next one and thanks for commenting Garbo802.

1247244 Hooray for FlutterDash, when you get round to reading this here story I hope you'll enjoy. Thanks for showing an interest in Magnetism.

1247282 Nowadays the moment someone says Epic Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann music pops into my head...not a bad thing to have happen of course. I'm surprised to see the word epic being used to describe this story, what with only the first chapter being out, but I guess I'll try even harder so each chapter you read continues to be praised as epic. I've said it once before but I will say it again here, thanks for commenting Rabbitude101.

1247486 Sorry for any difficulties you had in reading this story, I've been addressed on my strange and somewhat tricky style of writing before but you appear to have enjoyed the story all the same. I will try and make it easier to read in future, also thanks for commenting.

1247955 Two weeks is also the quickest I can imagine me managing to update...even more so now that I'm stuck with a time consuming and physically exhausting job. If you're complaining about the wait though that means you are looking forward to what comes next and that brings a smile to my face :pinkiehappy:, I'll be sure not to disappoint me. Thanks for the praise, like, fave, watch, and comment.

1248123 I am full of heartfelt gratitude that along with your nice words comes constructive criticism. A few basic mistakes I did expect, the chapter is 6000 words long and I lack a proof-reader (it doesn't help that I'm paranoid and as such don't trust anyone) and my style of writing has been criticised before for being too wordy and tricky to read (problematically, the style I write is similar to that of how I often converse), but I'm surprised and saddened that my writing of Twilight Sparkle, my favourite character, is not as accurate as it could be. Now, when I get around to editing this story I'll be sure to look out for basic spelling and grammatical errors, and as for my wordy style I will try to ensure that my writing is not wordy to the extent that it disrupts the flow in future chapters, something I'm rather keen to keep in check. As for the speech of Twilight Sparkle, that too I shall be more aware of and I thank you very much for pointing out such a flaw in my writing. If you do have the time though, is it possible to provide an example of one of my lines unfitting for the character and present how she would go about saying such a line? Of course, only if you want to, I would hate to impose.

Easing my worries are of course kind words following the helpful ones. I'm glad you found the premise to be interesting, enjoyed the prose despite some of the difficulties my writing style may have presented, and have mentioned that I have managed to get the characters right (which is always a concern of mine with any story). Thank you very much for the lengthy, in-depth comment Timefly.

Now as I finish replying to all the comments I currently have, this featured story of mine now has sixty three likes, only four dislikes, and has been favourite by one hundred and thirty six readers :twilightsmile:.

Finally! An interesting FlutterDash! I almost forgot these existed due to disinterest in most things...

And this, I can already say, that this, is going to be a very enjoyable and awesome ride :rainbowkiss::yay:

Ok, read . . .
Things I noticed; they're relatively minor, but they're mistakes nonetheless.

“You remember how back on Nightmare night I helped Princess Luna become friends with everypony,” Twilight didn’t per say ask but mentioned, regardless an answer was received by two pegasus nodding their heads, “Well, afterwards we got around to chatting about things we liked and we eventually ended up discussing history."

1. Capitalization (Nightmare Night)
2. Commas before quotes
“You remember how back on Nightmare night I helped Princess Luna become friends with everypony,” Twilight didn’t per say ask but mentioned, regardless an answer was received by two pegasus nodding their heads, “Well, afterwards we got around to chatting about things we liked and we eventually ended up discussing history."
regardless an answer was received by two pegasus nodding their heads, “Well, afterwards

two pegasus nodding their heads, "Well,
That should be a period. Same with the rest of your quotes that start like that.

3. Run-on sentences
This is the one that stuck in my mind:

“I’m guessing she lied about all those times she said to me that she went to bed after I did and woke up before I woke up?” Spike asked the question with an obvious answer with a deadpanned expression that made clear that this was not the first time Twilight had collapsed from exhaustion.

I believe that whole paragragh is one sentence.
THIS IS NOT GOOD!!:twilightoops:
Try this:
"Let me guess," Spike said with a deadpanned expression. "She lied to me about going to bed after I did and waking up before me?" The way Spike asked the question made it clear that this was not the first time Twilight had collapsed from exhaustion.
I'm sure this helps. Yes, in advance, if you want to use the paragraph I wrote above, go for it. But it would help if you edited (or tried to edit) the rest of it; it would stick out like a sore thumb. There's an obvious difference between styles of writing.
EDIT: You will probably not see me give a review like this for a while. Consider yourself lucky I gave it to you. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png

Description

Stuck together until Twilight manages to find a way to remove the bracelets, the shy and timid pegasus must cope with remerging feelings, while the athletic and rash pegasus must cope with the various antics of a bunny rabbit out to get her.

Is that supposed to be emerging or reemerging? Two very different things being implied here.

DEATH..... DEATH TO THE INFIDELS! ALLONZO HULU CHOCOLATE BAR!

Not a bad start.

"I said 'Don't touch the ancient artefacts!' didn't i tell you not to touch them!" :twilightangry2:

Telepathy: The communication between people of thoughts, feelings, desires, etc, involving mechanisms that cannot be understood in terms of known scientific laws. (tl;dr: Talking with your mind.)

Telekinesis: The movement of a body caused by thought or willpower without the application of a physical force. (tl;dr: Moving things with your mind)

Unicorns do neither. They use magic to manipulate objects.

Hope I'm not being a bother, but where can I read An Eternity to Remember? :twilightsmile:

1249192
Did you seriously just shamelessly self promote your own fic with a bland and generic comment on a featured fanfic? Yes it looks like you did...

:facehoof:

1249004
Consider...

“Well, afterwards we got around to chatting about things we liked..."

I just can't imagine Twilight saying this. It's far too chatty to be her. While Twilight is often informal, she speech is always eloquent, the rambling style in which she gets caught up in here is something she just doesn't do. While she does often end up giving long, drawn out explanations, it's rare that she goes on and on about superfluous details.

As for the rest, it's hard to pin down exactly what it is, but comparing Twilight's speech in the show and Twilight's speech here requires some discrepancies.

Sorry that I can't be more helpful, the hour's quite late.

Are you certain you do not wish to have a pre-reader on board? They really can do wonders...

1249004 That's definitely a neat approach! :pinkiehappy: I guess it would stir up everypony, since now they have no choice but to keep in continuous physical contact! Oh my! :rainbowlaugh: It definitely works!

Well, you delivered quite well, good sir! I'm definitely happy with the first chapter, and I hope you are, too! It's great! :yay: So, good for you on your current success! Woohoo!

:yay::heart::rainbowkiss:

1249004 Hey man no problem its hard to find good fics on here anymore, and I love flutterdash so i hoped it would be good and it is I definitely cannot wait for more!:pinkiehappy:

--Gareth

The hell?

I can't even get past one line without being completely annoyed to hell with all of your grammatical errors. Get an editor for fucks sake, everything reads so awkwardly and has absolutely no flow to it. I stopped at the part where Dash tries to touch the spoon thing, can't do this.

Don't post your fics until you've at least looked at them once...

Fix the description.

*Artifacts

You're lucky I love flutterdash.

1246479
I would say that it's forshadowing, but we'll have to see. Maybe she wakes up the nest morning and for a moment forgets about the bracelets. Or something like that.

1249436

Technicalities. It's fairly common to refer to anything inherent, not including technology, that allows you to move something or interact with it without actually touching it as telekinesis. Thus magic is not precluded as a means by which that is accomplished. In any case, google defines it as below:

Definition (Telekinesis): The supposed ability to move objects at a distance by mental power or other nonphysical means.

Magic is clearly a non-physical means.

well i always like it when funny things that are weird are in romances... in other words weirdest(and nonsexual)...romance...ever.:scootangel::trollestia:oh and:fiespiritkiss::heart::rainbowkiss:

good story, I like the concept and the choice of characters (such as who is stuck to whom, and so on) a lot.
However, I did find a good many spelling/grammar mistakes, which, while they don't necessarily deduct from the story, they do make the reader's experience a bit less enjoyable.
As for the writing itself, you're trying a bit too hard. All those abstract descriptions you use instead of just naming the ponies can get tiresome and confusing. A few of those can do a lot of good, making the story much less repetitive then it could be, too many, such as you are on the brink of using, only serves to confuse the reader, therefore losing their general interest in the story.
Anyways, you earn a like and a fav despite that, if I sounded a bit harsh, I'm sorry. That is just my opinion on how to make your already good story even better.:pinkiehappy:

I like where this is going! But, there were a few gramatical errors I found...

“I don’t know when I started wishing we were something more, but I started too*, and the thought of it was nice.”
*That should be a to, not a too.

"“I was sure then; that back then my feelings was* but a crush and one that had disappeared forever.”
Since we're in the past tense, I'm fairly certain that should be "were".

"absent mind-idly*"
If the online Webster's dictionary is anything to go on, that can be one word, "Absentmindedly."


"Rarity questioned her friends as she began to help the one she was closest too*, Fluttershy, up to her legs."
*That should be to.

I am really enjoying this so far. But please, for the love of Celestia, fix the fact that "artifacts" is spelled wrong every time! Other than that, though, I am thoroughly looking forward to the next installment.

1250382 That depends on how the magic works. Does it create a solid entity that surrounds and lifts object? Does it reduce or increase the mass of the object enveloped? Since we have no idea how it works, we can't say it is not physical. Both of the possibilities that I've listed above are physical means and are well within the realm of possibility.

Begin debate about semantics!

Not really, not in a debate mood right now.

I guess I should offer something to the author, as well. Great idea and originality on this story, but your grammar could use some work; luckily, it's not too distracting.

1250426
mine just passed 30, it doesn't seem like much but i have many Complete stories there... like griffon the griffon long... *shudders* (for those of you who don't know there are over 90 chapters (i think) in it now... and growing... over 150,000 words...)

Will read when I have the time, but people keep bugging me to entertain/amuse them with for some reason.

This is going to be an AMAZING shipfic. I can see it already, especially bathroom visits and taking a shower. Always having to be touching one another while in the shower?

In the words of Fluttershy: O-oh....my.... *blush*

Spike: Giggity. :moustache:

Rainbow Dash: What was that Spike? :rainbowhuh:

Spike: Nothing!

hmmm.... I wasn't going to read this, but I'm glad I did. =3

As for FS/RD
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24861178.jpg

1250426 I just cleaned mine out! :pinkiehappy: Now there are only 4

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