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How long can you shepherd the dead before you wish to understand them? Death crosses the veil to observe the six ponies who saved the world with their friendship.
But Death will not come away from such an experience unchanged.
Now has a sequel withTo Live, Love, and Forgive
A story that will last more than one chapter, though I don't expect it to be more than four. Do I think this first chapter is good? Maybe. Are they going to get better? Possibly. I do have a really good plan for what to do with this, but it may crash and burn, who knows.
Hope those that read it enjoy it.
And then words. Is this chapter good? Maybe. More interactions with death, mainly to show a little more of what he thinks of the world, and to possibly shed some more light on what his real question is.
Things should start getting more serious next chapter, we'll see, or rather...you'll see and I'll decide.
Hope those that read it find some enjoyment.
It's like Meet Joe Black in pony form. I mean that in a good way.
See This post >>1303633
But for further explanation, I took Joe Black, added in a bit of Gregory House from the end season 4, only switched a longing for death with a longing for life, then add in a bit of my own thoughts and ideas. I want to make him like Joe Black, but recognizably different.
And as for you >>1302455
I am really glad Pinkie's dialogue made you happy, it was what I was trying to go for. It's rather odd, and fun, to write for a pony who only motive in life is to make everyone smile.
DAMN THAT CLIFFHANGER!!!!! 
This was so awesome! 
Cannot wait for the next chapter. Sh*t's bout to go down. Although Celestia does realize that there really isn't anything she can do to Death right? If she's going to do anything. I mean come on. He's the frickin Grim Reaper!
Although how did Celestia figure out he's Death just by the letter Twilight sent her? The letter didn't really contain anything that would immediately give him away. 
So many words, and I'm not sure if they are any good, but at least they are no longer in my head, this was basically just all lead up before the climax. Though I guess something important kind of happened. And of course I put a cliffhanger. But the next chapter should be the last one, plot-wise. And it is the one I been most looking forward to.
Also, an apology that the reason Celestia knows who death is was kind of simple, but it was never really meant to be complicated.
Next time...answers, and probably some action. Who knows...I suppose I should, but this story has changed about 50 times since I started writing it.
Yay rambling.
"She opened her eyes, but saw only darkness. This had to be it...Death's first memory, the first soul he had collected.
A tiny light entered the black, the soul, but as she continued to watch it she something. And in a moment, she understood, she knew the answer... [Death] was never meant to exist."
A few theories about this:
1. Death is Jesus (LOL purely for comedic value).
2. Death was the first pony to ever die, making him the gatekeeper for all those after him.
3. *My favorite* Death IS the universe. "A tiny light" - the nexus of the Big Bang - "entered the black, the soul" - the void of space - "and in a moment, she understood" - the explosion. Death is the universal "body" that contains the universe. Anyone that dies has their soul decomposed or recycled, reunited with his. He can will himself into a physical micro-existence because he can control his body, he just doesn't know it because he never considered it to that extent. Seeing how Death originated from the Big Bang, he shouldn't even technically exist, like God Himself (NOTICE I SAY TECHNICALLY), but he does.
>>1334741 Yeah, stick with philosophy. The Jesus comment was purely for comedic value, and the God comment was just for comparison. Keep up the good work, this story really makes me think, and like all stories in general about death, it makes me fucking depressed....... WHAT IS THE REAL EXPLANATION? IS HE A GENETIC DEFORMATION OF EVOLUTION ON A UNIVERSAL SCALE? IS HE A RANDOM GUY WHO FELL INTO A VAT OF ACID AND WAS GIVEN INTER-DIMENSIONAL POWERS, THE ABILITY TO SEE EVERYONE AND THEIR DEATHS WITHOUT ACTUALLY BEING THE ONE WHO COLLECTS THEM? TELL MEEEEEEEEEE >:(
Or is he just impossible to explain like the AntiSpiral and hyperdimensional realities in Gurren Lagann? That final battle threw my sanity for a loop >_>
So here it is...over four thousand words, and I actually enjoy some of them. The dialogue with Death was interesting, and didn't go for as long as I thought it would. But then again, that's what happens when your plan amounts to "Do one thing and hope for the best."
I tried to get each of the Mane six to do something in the story, but Pinkie had to be the most important, being Death's only friend and everything.
Hurm, can't think of much else to say, except that it's not quite over. There will be an epilogue...of sorts.
Stay tuned, and leave a comment if you can.
When you space out another line of dialogue, your reader will instinctively go through a series of steps.
1. If there is no quotation mark at the end of the sentence, they will assume the same character is still speaking.
2. If the wording of the sentence is distinct, they will assume the character that talks that way is speaking.
3. If none of the above apply, they will assume speaking has alternated to the previous character.
You have multiple instances where you could use #1.
Also, you could definitely have the reflection on why he should stop bein' crazy last longer. As it stands it's more of an "Oh yeah, I guess you're right. I'll just say sorry, then."
Death~ A being of utter loss, having to live in Purgatory without experiencing the afterlife or life itself, has been given the chance to view his existence...
Only to figure out his existence meant nothing....
This story brings my thoughts of a lone being into a few pages of pure intellect.
I applaud you sir.
I'm going to read this story when I come back to home. Interesting concept... but I wonder when someone do some fic crossover with "Sandman" universe. If not my poor English I would do this myself... short stories having place in Equestria across the ages involving some of Endless, like Dream or his sister Death..
Behold; the river of tears
I haz many sadzlz now. This story was beautiful
>>1360002 There had better be an epilogue...see, my buddy De- I meant Sunny Harvest likes this too, and he's preeetty persuasive when his favorite authors don't update...hint hint 
But no, in all seriousness, the ending tugged on my metaphorical heartstrings, and I loved it :) Looking forward to a little more...maybe a second story about him returning and trying to discover friendship slice-of-life style? Yes? No? Maybe so? Definitely, yes, okay, thank you 
CONTINUEEEEEEEEE!1!!!11!11
I love this beyond all reason. It has a perfect amount of sadness for Death's loneliness as well as Pinkie Pie cheering him up. I must ask though, if Celestia truly thought that being friends with ponies who were going to die wasn't worth it/brought too much pain, why does she bother with Twilight (or any pony besides Luna)? She should have told him that he would spend his time knowing and enjoying their company throughout his friends' whole lives, then he would be the one to make sure they reach their final resting place. She shouldn't have told him that he would be the one to take them, as if it's his fault they get sick/grow old/ whatever.
Because eventually, Celestia will die. Her soul will be able to go...beyond, and see all of her old friends there.
Death will never be allowed to do that. He will be forced to watch everyone die, and not only watch, it is his responsibility to see that they die, to take their last breath into him with their soul.
Though they don't get old/sick/hurt because of him, their passing on is because of him.
And he will never get to join them, he will simply watch as their souls go, and no matter how much he wants to, he won't be able to follow.
Now how painful would that be? Even with all the good memories?
If I have only 1 year of good memories with a person and then am forced against my will to take their souls, but not cause they're soul to leave their body (kill), I would still be happy with the total outcome. I would have many good memories to remember and only the sad thoughts of not being able to make more. Since he is truly immortal, he would be able to make new friends and have new joyful memories, as well as use his ridiculous amount of wisdom and knowledge gained over the years to make people happier in their lives, which brings even more happiness (as Pinkie Pie and myself would attest). Any amount of friendship would be better then going back to the other side of the veil and having pure loneliness for eternity.
Beautiful story indeed. I would be happy to see happy ending. Death can have a normal live! He was able to learn so many things in two days. He can understand how to mourn others after theyre death, and how to live after this with memories of them in heart. You loved ones never die If you remember them, and he never forgets.
Oh great, I get to be "That Guy" again. Quite frankly, the story flows too fast here so you need to pace it aka slow it the hell down. You usually make the climax the high point of the fic and stretches for maybe one or two chapters, maybe more depending on the author's writing tendencies., but here it lasts a pathetically short amount of time before being resolved. Pad it out a bit. Not too much but take the time to looks a little bit more into the characters and their motivations. I mean Death gives the characters some pretty good reasons to go along with his plans. Anyone who has ever lost someone important to them would at least feel some temptations and wonder if stopping death could be a good thing.
But here, the ponies aren't even so much as even tempted by the offer which is rather unrealistic. Instead pretty much the entire confrontation between the EoH and Death is basically ponies lecturing Death. It gets pretty irritating, especially on Rarity's part. They simply just have the answers immediatly. It wouldn't be so bad if they had time to think about the repercussion of no death and then presented him with their counter arguments, but here it simply reads like the author was in a hurry to just get it done. As for Pinkie's scene.....ugh...all of the above and then some. Death is waaay too easily convinced to go back to good. He is the only source of conflict in this story and he folds like a bunch of wet noodles. That is not good story telling as it leaves people wondering why that section of the story even exists. There's no real conflict so way even add it in the first place? No conflict and no protagonist turning into an antagonist and back again in the space of MINUTES is preferable to a weakly don conflict. I'd much prefer a well thought out discussion between him and Celestia than what is here.
Hey, I totally understand. I wanted to have a much better conversation/conflict between the mane cast and Death, but I'm really not a good enough writer to pull it off. I had a few ideas but really no idea on where to go with them, the only thing I did have was the final confrontation with Death and Pinkie which I felt was 'slightly' better.
I understand all of your criticisms and I'll probably be back to polish this chapter up, but I totally understand.
There's no need to unhappy about being 'that guy.' I post these stories to get criticism in order to help me get better at writing.
>>1369494 Must say I like your stance towards criticism. There have been cases in other stories where I and several others pointed some pretty major things like characters acting out of character, poor execution of plot twists Ex. Changelings from outta fucking nowhere with no lead in or foreshadowing and a myriad of other things like poor to almost no motivation for characters to go along with the plot, but still are shepherded along it, as well as little to no conflict. All these example were from one story....the author promptly ignored us and continued to make the exact same mistakes. 
So kudos to ya mate. Acknowledging criticism is an excellent way to improve. One final suggestion that I had passed on to me which will really help you out: Get a pre-reader who's a damn grammar-nazi. Someone who can pick out improper sentence structure or poor syntax.
Ho hum...I've never tried to write something sad before, and I'm not sure I hit the mark. Maybe I should try to be more depressed...oh well, what can you do.
This time on "I'm bad at guessing final chapter counts..."
An Ending.
Sometimes things do go the way you want, and no amount of wishing can change that.
Goodbye Pinkie Pie, and goodbye Sunny Harvest. You two were very fun to write, Sunny Harvest especially. I've never tried to write a character like him before.
Thoughts? I am all for them. Don't hold back.
But before you hit that 'add comment' button, one last thing.
This isn't the only ending.
This is a pretty good ending, points for you. Reminds me of the ending of Jurassic bark.
Quite a touching story.
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this is good i really wanna read more
I LOVE this story. 
I need more chapters to fill my need 
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