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[Cancelled and rebooted] It has been thirty years since Twilight Sparkle gathered the Elements of Harmony and went on her first adventure. Now a certain "John" appears in her library, deciding that she needs a break and sending her back to a "simpler time". Once again, she must stop Nightmare Moon. Only this time... things are different. Details are out of place, added or removed completely. She may not be in the past she remembers at all.
Well that was fun. Now that I think about it your story is the first peggy sue I have read of mlp:fim and is also quite interesting.
This Twilight Sparkle appears to have quite a story of heroism and magical expertise (perhaps to be slowly unveiled to the readers as the fic advances) and also seems to be used (more like resignated) to the attentions of the night-omnipotent being Q who has chosen our heroine for a part in a play for his son birthday, the world created (or transfered to?) for this purpose seems to have some interesting changes (wonder how celestia is) though we have yet to see the rest of the mane 6 (
).
There are however a few spelling problems so you may wish to check that though I am no expert.
Overall this fic has a good start and I expect to see more
Good Luck
Luis fading out
This definitely caught my attention, and I have a couple notes for you before I forget them:
Slow down a bit.
I'm a little... befuddled as to this John person and how Twilight got into this position. That's a writing element, so it's fine. But, the narrative seems to be passing this off as though traveling through time is an everyday occurrence for Twilight Sparkle, which, unless Doctor Whooves is involved, it is not.
Unless you're doing it intentionally, be clearer.
Your writing skills themselves are right on par, but watch your speed.Slow down a little. A good way to do this would be to describe the surroundings. Even if we don't know them, it makes it a shit-ton easier to know what's going on, as the brain has time to process it. 
You kind of have to pretend your audience is four years old. (Disregarding vocabulary, of course.) This is a trick actors use, but it works in writing as well. Be. as. clear. as. possible. When people are reading, (This applies to everyone, I don't care who you are.) people don't want to have to constantly make connections with what's going on and what happened earlier and such. I should be able to scan my eyes along the sentence and the page and understand what's going on, a movie playing out in my head.
TL;DR: Slow down a bit, pretend your audience is four years old, disregarding vocabulary.
That aside, your basic concept interests me greatly and I'm going to move on to the next chapter. Your writing itself is very good. 
ONWARD!
Understanding that the John is basically Q choosing the name of one of his favorite mortals to identify himself explains a lot. Also recognizing that this Twilight really has "Been there, done that" so much that she's ascended to the level of an Arthur Dent helps too. Any minute now she'll be wandering around going "All this end of the world business is so dreary, you know what I need? A good strong cup of tea."
I don't think it's too fast at all, though RadaVonVon's points are good. Being a dork who gets all the references makes it surprisingly easy to slip into this story.
While the first chapter and a good deal of the second were great(I myself getting the references to Star Trek), I too think some of the elements of the alternate universe after the swap are a bit forced. I assume you of course have an understandable explanation for the slight change in, well, everything, though I also second the feeling of the random cheap token religion outta nowhere. What point is there to it other than being an annoying meta gag that adds nothing to the story? Remember, Meta gags tend to detract from the story.
Oh yeah, its a nice Alternative Reality you got there. I can almost see Twilight screaming "Chill out" at Nightmare Moon.
"Hey Princess Luna!"
*Twilight Sparkle grabs Applejack and Rainbow Dash and starts alternately making out with them while they're dumbfounded with shock* 
"You want to join my harem? The benefits package is really nice... if you konw what I mean." 
*Luna's head explodes*
"Excellent work, my most faithful student!" 
"Ah, Celestia, you should join us!"
*Celestia's head explodes. Twice.*
“For behold, Night Mare Moon, Goddess of Love and Fertility, shall be unbound in the thousandth year of Her punishment!”
Dude, there is some serious shit going on her. Q at it's finest.
Oh goodie, an update. I-
OH GOD WHAT
You can tell this story is the product of a Spacebattler by the ack-ack. It's subtle, but you can certainly catch it if you know where to look.
Excellent work, sir. I've been passing this over for the last few days on the forum, and I'm sorry I did. This is one of the most enjoyable and outlandish stories I've read in a while.
ROFLMFAO...
The fox jumps. Angel takes the swing. Hit. Its going, going going, "SPLAT". Its gone my friends. Angel has won the game.
Oh no, there goes Flutterrage. Everyone RUN!!!!!!
Man, that was a priceless read. And even though I say Whiskey Tango Foxtrot to this story all the time, it is still one of my favorite reads. You really outdid your self with this one. Keep the story coming and the lulz aflowing.
This is extremely awesome. I love how Twilight is purposely messing up the timeline out of boredom. It's the sort of random thing which is probably a nice break after spending so long doing the more serious version so regularly. And which is hilarious to read about.
I KEEP THROWING BITS AT THE SCREEN BUT NOTHING'S HAPPENING!!
But seriously this story is beyond epic. I have never watched Star Trek but I do not feel confused on what's happening and who's who. But I do have a question though. Is Q the little Discord or the Big Discord?
Q̸̄ͫͮ͑́̎̚,ͮ̈ͣͣͬ ̢̾ͥ̄ͮ̄̊ͤy̓ͥ͆̓̂͜ou̢͑̑̂ b̷̭͚̮̦͇͖͈̖̩̾ͬ͑͌̈́͒ͣͯͮ̕͟r̷̩͓ͬ͛̑̐ͮ̈́ͧ̃ŏ̧͈͕̥̲͖̽ͦ͊́̔͗́͡k̴̟̺̓ͣ͑͊̇̉̈́ͤę̺̹̭͂̈́ ̬̘̰̪͛̍̏ͪ̓̊͘͝͠t̯̎͒̄ͪͪͨ͢h̡͚͖̭̙͚̲̋ͥ̄͜e̗͉̭̭͈̼̜͇͑͐ͮ͊̆̀̕͡ ų͒̓ͨ͊͐̿̎͑̓͑̿̐ͮ̀̐̽̏͋͏̶̯̲̮̣̠̯n̷̛̳͈̩̙̼̫̻͖̥͓̬̓̂ͣ̃̓ͮͪ̈̅̎̾ͩͧ̓̈̚̕͘͜i̵̵̸͚̮̟͕͉̗̞̫̙̤ͦͩ̽̋͛̒͒̾̉ͪ̆ͨ̌͊̃͊̚͜v̶̵̩͙̜̻̻͙̩̳͙͙́̽ͦ̒ͫ̄̊͛͛ͩͩ̓͒̄̕͝͞eͫ͗̋ͫ́҉̶̰̟͙̮̬̩̮̯͇͝ͅr̴̵̡͙̲͖̥̙͇̝͍̫̈ͩ̈̆̓̀́̑̆̊̌͗̎͋ͮͫͬͨ̽́ͅͅs̵̡̼̤͖̠̠̭͓̖̰̝͉̥̳̪̽̐̅͒̊̍ͪͭ̅̃ͣ͗ͮͭͭͭ̑͐ê̸̴̡͖̭̬̤͍͚̻̪̠͈̘̤̯ͯ̀̓ͣ͢͟ͅ
Chicken. Bulls are respected members of the community, as are asses.
For right now all the humans know is that a giant alien space horse has appeared from nowhere, claimed to be a government-in-exile, tried to negotiation, and then burned their seat of government down for no readily apparent reason, killing people in the process. They do not exist to fulfill stereotypes, but rather to add a soft sci-fi element to later stories.
There's a more in depth discussion in the Space Battles forum, and awkward diplomacy will be in the follow up story.
I thought I was going to have a more involved crossover when I started. I wanted something more original than "A wild Discord did it", and play with some of the common perceptions of the fandom. Blueblood, for example, who is simply a foppish aristocrat instead of the worst pony ever. Humans having no strong feelings one way or another and being particularly introspective instead of actively hostile. A colony of humans to add a soft sci-fi element. Ponies being suspicious of any sort of government without a monarch or an aristocracy as a result of being ruled by a benevolent goddess as an absolute monarch for a thousand years, and under a diarchy for longer. So on and so forth.
So far this has been pretty self contained, since most of the world building doesn't need to involve crossovers beyond the obvious references. But 'John' is still critical to the plot, since without him it wouldn't happen, so there you go.
~ ~ ~
Also keep in mind, above all, that this is a product of SpaceBattles.
Not for another 453 years, assuming that the souls of a powerful pegasus, earth pony and unicorn aren't bound to hers. Three decades of using the elements to solve bigger and bigger problems starts changes in a pony, and the lessons from her version of Princess Luna helps.
As far as the mix, I figured that in the 1,000+ years of intermarriage most ponies are effectively hybrids and take secondary traits from whatever other sub-species (?) is strongest. So, Twilight is Unicorn/(Weak) Pegasus, Rarity is Unicorn/(Strong) Earth Pony, Pinkie Pie is Earth Pony/[Redacted], Rainbow Dash is Pegasus/(Strong) Unicorn, Applejack is Earth Pony/(Strong) Pegasus, etc.
"Blueblood, the man they were protecting,"
Yeah, slight typo there.
Aside from that, this is fantastic. I love a good time loop story, and the assorted twists make it all the more enjoyable. I can't wait to see what was the proverbial flapping butterfly that caused the divergence.
"Is Solvable Sphinx canceling this thing again? Geeze, how many times is he gonna rewrite this sucker? I'm enjoying the idea, but I'm not sure if I'd be willing to wade through all that alternate-universe exposition a third time. Maybe he should--- Oh, wait, this is the original, not the remake. Okay, never mind."
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you should have used doctor whooves for this! =D anyways good read 
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