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Joined June 2012
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Well all know the story human goes, human goes to Equestria, makes friends with the mane six, something goes wrong he stops it, well no this is where the human is the enemy, or is he?, he's given 5 abilitys one of which is immortality, so IT'S GAME TIME!
A/N got the idea from "My Name Is monster
BEGINNING OF COMMENT
"I really enjoyed your opening author's note." Said Nullus, scratching his chin with his hoof,
"So did I," said Lyra, "It's a good thing you made it bold and underlined it or I would probably have missed it.
You appear to have disregarded any advice Mr. Ignorable or the other guy has given you and clearly don't have a prereader. Please don't rely on the autocorrect feature, it's not infallible.
END COMMENT
Wow, I am pleasantly surprised to see promise here.
Edit: I would suggest you don't actively state the cameo. It's better if the fans of whatever you are referencing pick it up on their own. Such as with the keyblade, just describe the weapon as it is generated from his magic rather than just saying "he then created a Keyblade".
The grammatical and spelling mistakes are of the common variety, somewhat widespread, but not awful enough to make it difficult to read. Mostly things like
THEIR! As in "Their dinner will be cold tonight." depiction of ownership.
THEY'RE! As in "Look! They're escaping!" contraction for "they are".
THERE! As in "Hey, look over there!" basically determining a location.
And other such things, I would suggest a proof-reader.
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