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magmon1000 031071

Joined June 2012
7 followers

    Well all know the story human goes, human goes to Equestria, makes friends with the mane six, something goes wrong he stops it, well no this is where the human is the enemy, or is he?, he's given 5 abilitys one of which is immortality, so IT'S GAME TIME!

    A/N got the idea from "My Name Is monster

    First Published
    25th Sep 2012
    Last Modified
    3rd Oct 2012

    Comments ( 11 )

    #1 · Chapter 2 · 33w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    ._. wait what O3O this seems like a hater story D:

    #2 · Chapter 2 · 33w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    idk y people be hatin on this it seems funny:twilightsmile:

    #3 · Chapter 2 · 33w, 4d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    BEGINNING OF COMMENT

    "I really enjoyed your opening author's note." Said Nullus, scratching his chin with his hoof,

    "So did I," said Lyra, "It's a good thing you made it bold and underlined it or I would probably have missed it.

    You appear to have disregarded any advice Mr. Ignorable or the other guy has given you and clearly don't have a prereader. Please don't rely on the autocorrect feature, it's not infallible.

    END COMMENT

    #4 · Chapter 2 · 33w, 3h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Wow, I am pleasantly surprised to see promise here.

    Edit: I would suggest you don't actively state the cameo. It's better if the fans of whatever you are referencing pick it up on their own. Such as with the keyblade, just describe the weapon as it is generated from his magic rather than just saying "he then created a Keyblade".

    #5 · Chapter 1 · 33w, 3h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    The grammatical and spelling mistakes are of the common variety, somewhat widespread, but not awful enough to make it difficult to read. Mostly things like

    THEIR! As in "Their dinner will be cold tonight." depiction of ownership.

    THEY'RE! As in "Look! They're escaping!" contraction for "they are".

    THERE! As in "Hey, look over there!" basically determining a location.

    And other such things, I would suggest a proof-reader.

    #6 · Chapter 2 · 33w, 1h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1363787 thanks mate my apologies their always confused me and punctuation I'm just sh*t at it

    #7 · Chapter 2 · 32w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>1339258 what do you mean exactly? :rainbowhuh:

    #8 · Chapter 2 · 32w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    IDk wut i mean like i dont know what i was thinking then i was probly off at the time and acting wierd for the heck of it so ya im sorry aobut my post i was commenting wierdly...

    #9 · Chapter 3 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    i find this perfect

    #10 · Chapter 3 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Love this story!

    #11 · Chapter 3 · 32w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    So far the charecter seems like a no fuck giver. Rating so far 4/10

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